Chapter 127

Kaito.

Summer vacation started the way it always does, except a few things were different this time around. The bell went and the teacher dismissed us. I had my things all packed up, so all I did was pull on my bag and sprint out of the classroom.

I bolted over to Miku's class and pulled her right out of her seat, carrying her in my arms and running back out, leaving the rest of her class in shock. As I left, I heard somebody shout.

"I told you his ice cream has drugs in it!" The voice yelled.

Huh. I could've sworn I heard the exact same thing not too long ago...

"Kaito, what're you doing?" Miku squeaked as I ran down the stairs with her. She had her arms wrapped around my neck, "Please don't drop me!"

"I'd drop myself first!" I grinned. I ran around the schoolyard with her, laughing and holding her close.

"Eek!" She yelped as I stumbled but regained my balance, "Kaito!"

I put her down and caught my breath. She pulled a water bottle out of her bag and handed it to me.

"The reason I did that," I said between breaths and gulps of water, "Was because I could. Ever since I realized that I loved you as more than a friend, I've dreamed of doing all these things, kissing you, holding your hand, sharing ice cream with you...and I also wanted to do this."

"This?" Se looked up at me.

"This," I nodded, grinning because my princess was just too adorable for words, "I wanted to run out of class as soon as the bell went on the last day of school, sprint to your class, take you in my arms and carry you outside. I just wanted to."

"Kaito," her voice was low, "It's exactly this kind of silliness...that makes me love you more than anyone."

I hugged her. Students stampeded past us, around us, yelling and talking and making plans for the summer.

"Say, Miku, I was thinking...are we going to all go to the beach this year?"

"Hmm...," she looked up at me, "We could."

"Besides, Gumi and Len are going to need the cheering up," I said, "And it'll be fun. Like old times."

"Without Yuma," Miku said. I was quiet.

"Gumi's still got all of us," I said, "And she's thinking of going to the same university, too, right? Besides, they'll be calling each other and..."

"Kaito, if one of us had to move away, I wouldn't be able to survive on just calling you," Miku interrupted me.

"But you could fly over and..."

"Not everyone can afford that."

I swallowed slowly and nodded, trying to put myself in Gumi's shoes.

"The beach is a good idea, though," Miku smiled, "We could definitely plan something..."

Gumi.

It was nearly time to go home when my phone buzzed. It was an email from Yuma.

I just arrived. Phone doesn't work here. Also, I figured you'd be in class right now. I hope you are. Don't skip school because of me, okay?
Anyway, I'm using the airport's wifi. I'm really sleepy.
My dad's going to be outside, waiting to pick us up. I don't know if we have Internet at our new home. Probably do. We can talk online.
You should hang out with Miku and the others. Please, don't miss me anymore.
I'm sorry. That came out the wrong way, but I'm not going to delete it. I just don't want you to be sad. I'm begging you. Please, please, please. Just because I'm not there to see your smile anymore doesn't mean you have to stop, okay?
Besides, I'll still see your face when we talk online.
Anyway, we have to go through the security stuff, whatever it's called.
I love you.

I sighed and put the phone back into my pocket, resting my head on the desk. The bell rang moments later, signalling the start of my summer without Yuma.

I walked home with Neru and Oliver that day, and once I got home, I headed straight up to my room and turned on my laptop, thinking about getting a job.

"Mom," I looked at her as she stepped in. She looked worried. I tried to smile.

"What're you doing, Gumi?" She sat down beside me on the bed, peering at the screen. I sighed.

"I know you'd never let me leave the country," I whispered, "But do you think we could go together?"

"Gumi, I'm sorry, but you know we can't afford to move."

"C-Could I move in with...um...," my heart had suddenly started beating rapidly. My mother looked me in the eye.

"I think you're acting hastily," she said, "You'd be leaving all your friends behind. And besides, we can't exactly afford that, either..."

"What about...university?" I asked, "I was talking to him about how I'd apply to the same university and..."

"Living away from home while studying is also costly," she put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed, making the tears spill from my eyes, "I know you love him. He loves you, too, but..."

"I want to get a job," I mumbled, "I won't spend my money on anything! I'll apply for scholarships and I'll also get a job during my postsecondary!"

My mom smiled sadly. "I'm being selfish, aren't I? Not wanting to let you go?"

"Is it...because you don't trust me? Because you don't trust him?"

She shook her head. "It's because I love you so much...but then, I asked myself, Gumi. If I love you this much, if I trust both you and Yuma...why can't I let you go? It's what my daughter wants..."

She stroked my hair. It felt nice, but nothing like when Yuma used to do it. I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly.

"Could I go?" I whispered, opening my eyes and looking at her, "After next year, could I? I'll...I'll get a job and do all those other things..."

She was crying and smiling, both at once. She pulled me close to her chest, embracing me. "If that's what you want, Gumi, then I'll let you."

So that's how it happened. I got a job, and it wasn't much. I worked at a bookstore and was paid minimum wage. The numbers began to add up, slowly but surely. I talked to Yuma online, but oftentimes, I wanted to be able to touch him, his face, his hand. That was something I couldn't do anymore.

Kaito.

Weeks went by in the blink of an eye. I got really close to Miku, closer than ever, and we were almost always together. Sometimes, I spent the night at her house, and sometimes, she came to my place. We were rarely on our own. She even insisted that we shower together, which surprised me, because I thought I was the possessive one. Anyway, I said no. Most of the time.

Miku released a new album that summer. It had Butterfly on Your Right Shoulder and Fire Flower as bonus songs, and it also contained Miku's new songs, Two Breaths Walking and Sekiranun Graffiti, among others. Paradichlorobenzene was a hit on the Internet, and Len, Yuma and Gakupo garnered a lot of fangirls.

We planned a trip to the beach during the first week of August. Everyone was going to come, or at least, that was what we had planned.

"You can't rollerblade at the beach," Oliver had said when we called him to ask if he could come.

"But you can rollerblade to the beach!" I had replied.

"The beach is too far to rollerblade to."

"But you could surf, and we're going to bring a volleyball and a net. And we'll have lots of ice cream!"

Anyway, he said that he was coming.

Rin.

I was sitting with Len on my bed silently. The curtains were drawn and a single stream of moonlight spilled from the gap between the curtains, streaking my cross-legged figure and splashing over my golden locks like milk.

"Len," I whispered, taking his hand in mine. He was sitting with his eyes closed, focused somewhere else. It was nearly an hour past midnight and we had to get up early to meet Kaito and the others at the beach.

"I'm thinking," Len whispered. I brought his hand closer, to my mouth, kissing the back of it before pulling him closer.

"Excited about tomorrow?" I asked, pulling Len into my lap. He cupped my face in his hands.

"I guess," he answered before kissing me. When he pulled back, he pressed his nose to mine and looked down, "Do you think my mom's..."

"She's going to be fine," I cut him off, "Chemotherapy is weakening. Len...you have to stop worrying, for your mom's sake. It hurts her to see you stressed out like this. It hurts me."

"I'm horrible."

"No, you're not," I countered, "You're normal. You're just experiencing emotions and you're unsure of what to do. I'm trying to help you, Len, because I love you."

I kissed him again and held the kiss, pinning him down to the bed. I rubbed my tongue against his teeth and soon, we were tangled in each other.

"Rin...," he whispered as I broke free and exhaled, looking down at him.

I sighed and ran a finger along his face. "Remember when I said about summer? That it makes friends drift apart?"

"Yeah," Len closed his eyes, "I didn't want to let you go."

"Neither did I," I said softly, "I was so happy when you finally noticed me, when you started talking to me, and I didn't want the end of the school year to be the end of our relationship."

"Don't have to worry about that anymore," Len whispered before we kissed again.

I guess you could say our relationship progressed really quickly because of his mother.

***

The sun beat down on us and I shielded my eyes with a hand, watching as Kaito and Oliver set up the volleyball net. Miku and Neru had gone to get ice cream from the truck, and I was looking around at the beach.

It wasn't very crowded, but we weren't alone, either. People were lazing around on blankets, under umbrellas, and kids splashed by the shore.

"Hey!" I heard Miku call as she came over with a whole box of ice creams.

"Yay!" Kaito scrambled over to Miku and hugged the ice cream box, "I love you!"

"Kaito, it's going to melt!" Miku pulled the box away from him and gently pried it open, pulling out an ice cream bar and handing it to Kaito. She and Neru began walking around, handing ice creams out to everyone.

"Len," I walked over to the blonde. He was sitting on a small blanket, under the shadow of the yellow umbrella. I sat down beside him and took his hands in mine, smiling as I did, "Do you want to play volleyball with us?"

He looked at me, his gaze flickering and fleeting. I ran a hand through his hair and he closed his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.

"You expect me to play volleyball while my mother's going through freaking chemo?" He spat, surprising me. I stopped stroking his hair.

"Len!" I scolded, "Stop this!"

"Leave me alone!" He turned away and I leaned closer.

"Len, listen to me, okay?" I lowered my voice and looked around at the others. They were glancing at us, worried.

"You can't expect me to smile all the time, Rin!" He shook his head and I lunged forward, pulling him into a hug. Slowly, his fingers settled against my bare skin.

"I know it's hard, and I'm not asking you to smile all the time, Len," I whispered, "I just don't want you to have to carry such a huge burden on your shoulders. Let me lighten your load."

"I wish I could go back," he croaked, "To when I was a kid...I'd spend more time with my mom..."

"Come on, Len," I patted his shoulder, "You can keep score, alright?"

He sighed.

"Your mother wants you to be strong," I said, "Be strong. I'm here for you."

I gently kissed him before getting up. He looked up at me with a small smile.

"Okay," he said. I nodded and padded over towards the others.

Gumi.

I was sitting a few feet away from everyone else, looking at my phone, rereading an email that I was about to send to Yuma. Slowly, I ran my tongue along my lips, missing his kisses.

I keep thinking about you. I guess it's kind of obvious, given how I email you twice a day and call you at least once. You seem so busy, though...is everything alright?

I grimaced and deleted the last few lines. Yuma and I hadn't been able to talk as much as we would've liked lately, but I didn't want to seem clingy. I rewrote the last part.

I hope you're alright. It's really hot this summer. I've been eating a lot of carrots, and a lot of ice cream, too. Maybe I'm turning into Kaito...

"Stupid!" I muttered, deleting the last part about Kaito. I didn't want Yuma to think that I was falling for the ice cream loving boy.

"Hey, Gumi!" I looked up as Rin approached me, "Do you want to play with us?"

"I'm fine," I said. She sat down beside me, peering at my screen before examining me.

"Come on!" She gently swatted my arm, "We're at the beach and you're wearing a t-shirt and shorts!"

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with it," Rin said, "I'm just wondering why you didn't bring that cute swimsuit that Miku and I helped you pick out a week ago."

I paused before replying. "I don't want to wear it. If Yuma was here...maybe I'd wear it..."

I blushed in spite of myself and Rin exhaled slowly, crossing her legs. "You should take it with you to university," she said, "I'm sure he'll love seeing it on you."

"R-Rin!" My face flushed even more and she giggled.

"Don't worry," she said, "One more year of school, and then you'll be all set to go. Your parents are helping you pay for studying abroad, right?"

I nodded. She rested her head on my shoulder and gently rubbed my back.

"Let's play," she said. I looked down at my email and nodded, sending it without another thought before getting up and running towards the volleyball net.

I keep thinking about you. I guess it's kind of obvious, given how I email you twice a day and call you at least once. I know I'll never be the same old Gumi that I used to be, but I'll still love you.
We're at the beach, and it's really hot. I'm going to go play volleyball with the others now, so this will have to be goodbye for now.
You were right. I am strong. I guess I never realized it till now. You want me to be happy, even without you around right?
I'm doing my best.

I played volleyball that day, and I tried hard to stay strong. A few days later, my father lost his job, and I was even more determined to get good grades and apply for scholarships. My chances were fading away, though.

Yuma and I had a chain of emails that we sent back and forth, and like most email replies, they started out frequent and then slowed down, eventually stopping around the last week of summer vacation. We still video chatted and called each other. Nevertheless, Yuma was also, slowly but surely, fading away.

On the first day of school, I woke up early and called him. He hadn't started school yet, because our time zones were different.

"I'm going to take carrots to school for lunch," I said, putting the phone down on the kitchen counter and pouring myself a glass of milk. My parents weren't up yet, either.

He laughed on the other end. His voice was crackly, thousands of miles away. "That sounds like the Gumi I know."

"Of course it's me!" I replied.

"How's that milk?"

I downed the glass in three gulps and plunked it down. "It's nice," I said, "Cold and smooth."

"Gumi, are you going to join the music club?"

"Hmm?"

"You can be my successor. It's only one year, anyway."

"I'll think about it," I had said.

Then, school actually started, and we didn't get to talk as much. Our text message conversations usually ended up going something like this.

Gumi: Hey! Miku's in my math class!

Yuma: That's nice. There wasn't any way you'd be alone, you know.

Gumi: Did you make any friends?

Gumi: Yuma, you there?

Gumi: Helloooooooo?

Yuma: I'm so sorry, Gumi. I need to do something, but I'll get back to you soon, okay?

Gumi: Okay, bye. Take care.

Gumi: ...You there?

Gumi: Anyway...bye.

Then, a few days later, we had our first argument. I didn't like it at all. I was lying in bed, video calling him. It was Saturday morning for me and Friday night for him.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"It was fine," he smiled and pushed his hair out of his eyes, "We have a quiz in history class on Monday, and a few days ago, this new girl came to our math class. It's funny, Gumi, she sort of reminds me of you, even though she doesn't look like you."

"Do you like her?" I suddenly became aggressive.

"What? No, I was just..."

"Then why would you compare her to me?" I stared at him. I don't even know why I had the feeling that he was going to betray me.

"Geez, Gumi, I was just...," he sighed and held his head in his hands. Without thinking, I ran my fingers down the screen, as though I could stroke his hair that way, "I'm sorry I haven't been able to talk to you as much as you'd like."

"You're making me sound clingy," I whispered. We both leaned closer to our screens. I wished I could kiss him.

"She asked me out," he whispered.

"What?" I pulled back.

"I said no!" He said before I could say anything else, "Gumi, I miss you."

"I miss you, too," I whispered.

He exhaled. "God, I want to kiss you so badly," he said quietly. I could barely hear him.

"Can't you come visit in the winter break?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. He had told me in July, but I didn't want to believe it.

"I can't," he said, "Can't you come by for a week?"

I shook my head. "I told you, Yuma. My dad's...he doesn't have a job."

"Does that mean you're not coming here for university?" His voice was hoarse.

"I hope I can," I said.

A new year had begun, and there I was, still stuck in the past.

One chapter left, and then we have the epilogue.