TWO.   HOW MUCH OF MY MOTHER HAS MY MOTHER LEFT IN ME?

Daphne's mouth is full of blood and Lacy's hands are broken and bloody. Kayla's throat is raw and torn and Hannah's eyes are wet with tears, streaks of blood are splattered on her face. They're all crazy, they're all hungry and broken. It was a test of their sanity, of how long they could go without breaking. This was their breaking point. He pushed them to their limits. Kayla screams again, the sound echoing off of the solid stone walls. "What did you do?" She yells at Hannah, getting her face but all Hannah can do was stand there, a bloody hammer held tightly in her now shaking hand. "What did you do?" She yells again, this time while crying.

Lacy's kneeled on the hard ground, two bloody stains on the wall the size of her fists from constantly banging on the stone, trying to get out. Her knuckles are busted open, blood dripping down her hands. She suddenly feels like the room is on fire, that she's slowly choking on smoke. It hurts to breathe. When she inhales, her chest burns. Her eyes burn. Kayla's screaming cries are like needles stabbing her ears. Hannah can't move. It's like she's paralyzed. They knew this was coming. It had to happen. None of them had a choose. But now that it's happened, it's like the nightmare they're trapped in is more real. Lacy exhales a painful breathe and she chokes back vomit as she stares at Daphne, a pool of blood surrounding her head and blood pouring from her eyes all the way down to her mouth, her lips parted, and the liquid fills up until it's leaking from both sides of her mouth.

Lacy jolted awake with a loud gasp, her heart beating a million miles a second. Sweat coated her skin and the back of her neck, her long hair thrown up on her head. She brought her hands to her face, feeling her skin to know that she's back in reality. Her skin was hot. She's learned how to not scream so she won't wake up her father. Lacy sighed and touched her forehead again. "You're not there. You're at home. You're in your bed." She said to herself. She glanced to the side at her bedside table, the alarm clock reading 2:30 am. Lacy sighed again. "Jesus."

It's been the same routine since she was found. Nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. She couldn't control them. She couldn't stop thinking about them. They took over her life at this point. Lacy got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. The first thing she saw when she turned on the light was the faded scars around her mouth. They were flesh colored now but they were still visible. She brought her hand up and touched one of them at the top, flinching in the process. Lacy leaned down, turned on the faucet, and splashed cold water on her face.

It's only been a few weeks since she's been home and yet Lacy felt like she was in a foreign place, like her home wasn't her home anymore. She didn't know here she belonged, honestly. Nothing made sense anymore. She's hardly left the house even when her dad tried to get her to go to the store with him. She didn't feel safe anywhere. The first week of being back home after she was found was pure hell. It was too much for her. It was too much for her dad. It put a strain on both of them.

But Samuel did everything he could. He was the perfect father. It was Lacy that couldn't get past it. She always felt like she was still in that room, still in that shed. She felt completely trapped. She was depressed, anxiety ridden, and exhausted. She wasn't herself anymore. She wasn't his daughter anymore. She was just an empty shell.

Lacy opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a bottle of water. The temperature of the bottle cooled down her hands and she pressed it to her face, sighing at the feeling. The house was always quiet, seeing as it was just her and her dad. There were some nights where Sam would be gone this early in the morning because of his job. But he was home now in bed. He didn't want to leave her side. Silently, Lacy was thankful for it.

"Lacy?"

She flinched hard and accidentally slammed the refrigerator door shut. "Jesus, dad, you scared me." She exhaled, seeing her dad standing at the bottom of the stairs. Lacy slowly took a breath and turned to him. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Nah, you know me. I'm a light sleeper," Samuel Austin said with a small, tired smile. He walked into the kitchen and turned on the overhead light. "Did you have another nightmare?" He asked and walked to the fridge.

"Yeah," she answered quietly. Lacy watched him pull out a piece of cherry pie and she giggled. "Dad, it's almost three in the morning."

"Had that ever stopped me before?" Sam asked, recalling the nights he always got an appetite for sweets late at night/early in the morning.

"No, I guess not." She said and reached inside the silverware drawer. She grabbed two forks. "It was about, uh. . ." She tried to say but the words got stuck in her throat.

Her dad frowned. "You don't have to tell me, baby girl." He almost whispered. Sam kissed the top of her head and sat down at the island. He watched her lean against the counter. "You know, if you want to stay home from school, you can. How does homeschooling sound?"

Lacy cracked a smile. "Tempting, but. . .I have to go back eventually."

Sam shook his head. "No, you don't."

She bit into the piece of pie on her fork. "Everyone already knows I'm back, don't they?" She muttered while chewing. The look on her face was dreary.

Her dad stared at her. Samuel thought about when she was found, when Hannah was found, and the news that showed up at the hospital, at the police station, and at their home wanting a statement from Lacy. She remembered how loud she screamed from being overwhelmed at all the questions, at the flashing lights in her face. Sam remembered yelling at all of them to get the fuck off of his property. "We can move," he declared.

"It was on the news everywhere, daddy. I can't escape it. I never will," Lacy stated softly, her eyes becoming sad. She sat the form down on the table, making a light clinking sound. "I'm scared. Believe me, I am. But if I don't go back, I never will, and I'd like to graduate at some point."

When she saw her dad's eyes water, she started to feel guilty. "I know. I just want you to be comfortable, baby girl. I know you haven't been." Sam said and wiped his eyes.

Lacy frowned and moved to stand behind him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she laid her head on his shoulder. "But I have you. I'm safe with you." She whispered.

Her father sighed and rubbed her arm with his hand. "You know if anything happens, you can call me. Or you can call Noah. We'll be there in a split second." He promised her.

Lacy smiled slightly. "I know daddy." She leaned up again. "I should go back to bed. Don't get a sugar rush." She said with another smile.

Samuel watched her leave the kitchen. "Good night, baby girl." He said endearingly. She walked up the stairs to her room and Sam stared at the piece of half eaten cherry pie in front of him. It reminded him of when Lacy was younger and they'd stay up late baking whatever they were craving (she could bake, he could not) and they'd eat it all right before bed. It was like staring at a version of his little girl, the girl she was before she was taken. A cherry sized pit formed in his throat and a quiet cry passed by lips. "Oh," he whispered and closed his eyes, covering his mouth to quiet his cries.

Lacy felt as if she forgot how to breathe as she sat in the Beacon Hills High parking lot, her father's car running and he sat there watching her, ready to drive them off at an second. "You don't have to do this, Lace. We can go home." Sam said gently.

She almost forgot what the school looked like. It was fall when she was taken and winter when she was found. Now it was spring and the leaves on the trees were bright green, the flowers on the bushes in front of the school were in bloom, and it was warm outside, but Lacy still felt cold. She could never get warm no matter where she was at. She felt like she was in a strange place even if she'd been going to the same school since Pre-K. "I'm tempted," she spoke quietly and looked over at her father. "But I have to."

Samuel frowned ever so slightly.

"I might need your help getting out of the car though."

"Oh yeah, of course." He turned the car off and quickly got out, rushing to the other side. Sam opened her door and held out his hand.

Lacy's dad always had a warm touch. She envied that right now. She stared at the building before her, all of the students going inside, and she inhaled a breath. It's now or never.

When the father and daughter walked the path to the school, eyes started to turn to Lacy and that's when the whispering started. A few eyes turned into many the closer she got to the school and Lacy felt every part of her body go numb. She felt like she was floating and she had to hold onto her father to keep her on the ground. It didn't make it any better than her dad was wearing his work uniform.

She knew everybody in Beacon Hills. She lived here for her entire life. But now she felt like a stranger. A sheep thrown into a pack of wolves. The fear she'd been feeling about returning to school had settled in her stomach. Lacy swallowed a peach sized pit that was stuck in her throat and it went down slowly, almost choking it, like it was lodged in her chest. She clenched her teeth so hard they almost shattered behind her closed lips. All eyes were on her now. The whispering were audible. Lacy Austin was back. It's been months since anybody had seen her and now she was back, but she wasn't herself. She was paler. She was slouched over. She was visibly unwell. This wasn't the girl that everybody had grown to know, a girl always smiling and shining bright. Of course she wasn't the same girl. She was fucking kidnapped.

Lacy was so spaced out that she couldn't remember anything she was doing. Her dad took her to the office. She got her schedule (Samuel had called the school about his daughter's return to school, having them promise not to ask her any questions) her father left to go to work. She was on her own. She was on her own.

As she walked to her locker, Lacy's eyes were trained on the floor in front of her, not being able to meet anybody else's eyes. It was so quiet. Or maybe it was just her. She was used to be trapped in silence. Her heart pulsed the closer she got to her locker. It was only four lockers down from Kayla's (it was covered in photographs of her from her time at Beacon Hills: sports events and school dances, Kayla and her friends, Kayla, Lacy, and Daphne in their volleyball uniforms, the entire volleyball team; wilted flowers were pressed against the locker, petals covering the floors and Lacy would guess the janitor was constantly having to sweep them up). Lacy stared at the decorated locker was an agonizing pain in her bones as if somebody was breaking them from inside her body. The peach pit was back in her throat. Everything she'd been trying to avoid, every memory and feeling, came back all at once when she realized that Kayla was gone.

"Did you know her?"

Lacy quickly turned her head, meeting the gaze of a pair of dark eyes, doe-eyes, and long dark eyelashes. Her voice was light and clear. Her hair was dark brown, contrasting against her very pale skin. Lacy didn't recognize her.

"It's horrible what happened. I didn't know her but everybody talks about her." The girl continued, now looking at Kayla's locker. "Are you new here? I'm sorry, I've never seen you before."

Lacy lost her voice. Her lips were parted but no words came out. It was like being trapped in a nightmare where you're screaming for help but no words come out. She had those dreams often.

The unnamed girl looked concerned. "A-Are you okay?" She asked kindly.

People were staring watching her, still talking about her, because she in front of Kayla's locker and they were taken together. But this girl didn't know that. Lacy didn't know her. Her insides bubble causing her internal temperature to increase to the point where she began to sweat. It was too much. It was all too much. Why did she think she could do this? Not enough time had passed. Her heart rate increased by the second. Her pain wasn't eased. They all lied to her. They all lied to her!—

"Allison. Hold on a second," spoke a voice she did recognize. Scott McCall stood by her, his hand wrapping around her arm. Their eyes met, his softened. "Lacy, you're back."

Lacy was thirteen the first time she met Melissa McCall. She broke her ankle riding her bike. Samuel drove her to the hospital and Melissa took care of her. She was the kindest woman. She had a son her age, she mentioned. They both go to Beacon Hills. Scott was quiet but he was sweet like his mom. They were good friends until Lacy started to get more popular, curiously of being friends with Lydia Martin, and then she joined the volleyball team. He played Lacrosse. She was good at sports. He was not. They still talked to each other.

When Lacy looked over their shoulders, through the sea of teenagers was Hannah Kross. Her brown hair was now dyed blonde and cut with layers. She stood at the end of the hallway, frozen when their eyes met, like she was seeing a ghost. People around Hannah started whispering and then they realized the two of them were looking at each other, and they started talking more. Holy shit, they're the only two survivors and nos they're both back.

"Lacy, are you okay?" Scott asked her, seeing her paling face and distant expression. He turned around and saw Hannah, then he understood.

Allison still looked concerned, looking at Scott for an understanding.

Lacy fled the hallway, startling both Scott and Allison, and they watched her. "How do you know her?" She asked him.

Scott didn't answer right away because he was still in shock that she had returned to Beacon Hills in the first place.

She went into the girls bathroom, thanking God that nobody was in there, and she fell against the counter. The breaths she held back came out all at once like something was stepping on her chest, and they came out as wheezes. She looked at her reflection, not recognizing the girl in the mirror. Her face doesn't please her. She's disgusted by what she sees. Pale skin, sunken eyes, eye bags, scars around her lips. A face that resembled her mother's was now becoming a soul that also resembled her mother's and it scared her, because who would she become if she became her mother?