I'm everything you can't control

Serina POV

After I fired the gun everything went black. I don't know how long it's been since I killed Kye. I shot him, dead. How can I justify my anger towards Lorenzo for shooting a gun—when I just did the same?

I couldn't open my eyes. Or rather I didn't fucking want to. I didn't know what had happened, but I was to scared to open my eyes to find out.

I had felt my body drenched with a cold sweat, my body aching with a numbing pain. I could hear voices asking me to open my eyes—but that thought of opening them made everything that happened seem darker.

I could feel everything and hear every word said around me. The wet cloth that was draped over my forehead. I heard Lorenzo's voice somewhere around me a couple times, but it was like he was saying words that I couldn't or didn't want to understand.

I would feel my teeth chatter and the rip of gauze off my skin. I must have caught a fever—or maybe this was all from shock. Or maybe I imagined Lorenzo saving me, and I was really just dead as a door nail.

That would be the easiest solution to this. If I croaked. I wanted a funeral, with some pretty flowers maybe. And drinks, lots of drinks.

My body had raked with the cold even though I felt warm cover rest over me. So I came to the conclusion that maybe I wasn't dead, because hell is hot—not fucking cold.

But everything I thought was confirmed when I felt a hand grab mine, it was hesitant and light. The hand which engulfed mine was much bigger, and steadier. The chill of cold titanium rings burned my skin.

It took me out of my head, and the cold had faded slightly. I didn't die.

I felt the hand bring mine to their lips, and I sighed slightly as I felt the hot and fragmented breath on my skin which seemed to warm me like fire. "I am so sorry sparrow." The voice echoed and I knew instantly who it belonged to, Lorenzo gripped like a lifeline onto my hand.

Sorry. Sorry doesn't sound like something he says easily, yet he says it to me almost like he was begging from my forgiveness.

But I forgave him the second I looked into his eyes as he burst through the doors to save me. I know that was a foolish thing to do, I know I had ran for a reason—but the reason became less then important as soon as he picked me up in his arms and held me to his chest.

Was I stupid for forgiving the man for hurting me? Absolutely without a doubt.

"Open your pretty eyes for me." He whispered, he sounded So vulnerable in this moment. How long as he been sitting with me? why was he sitting with me?

I felt my body shiver at the cold I felt. Or maybe it was his words.

I felt his grip on my hand tighten as he placed a kiss on my hand—it was soft and not what I expected of him. It was gentle and cautious, like I was fragile. Every move he made sent pain down my arm, but I'd take the damn pain a million times if I could feel the warmth he gave me for just another second.

One little second.

But it was when he dropped my hand that the coldness numbed me again. And the sound of the chair moving back, and his footsteps fading away.

My eyes shot open and I winced as my head pounded. His hand on the door I gave everything I had to smirk. He froze at my words. "Wow sneaking away from me in bed—what a gentleman." I uttered lowly, a small laugh making my chest hurt. But the laugh felt good, and I didn't dare stop it.

"Serina?" He asked as he let go of the handle and looked back at me, his entire body seeming to lighten then instantly become stiff again.

"Lorenzo" I said quietly as I brought my hand up into my vision, and danced my fingers around. My eyes fixated on where his grip had been. "Would you look at that, I didn't die." I smiled lowly, which caused Lorenzo to stiffen more then he was already his eyes lighting up at my words.

It hurt everywhere, but it hurt less then it did.

"You weren't going to die Serina." He growled, and I looked at him unconvinced, then to the ceiling. He lost the gentleness from before and went back to being an asshole, I was not surprised.

My eyes trailing around the room, this wasn't the room I was in before at his apartment—if you would even call that humongous top floor house an apartment—it was a different room, his room.

"No no I was pretty convinced I was going to die actually. I had what I was going to say to Satan and Ted bundy all planned out." I joked as I laid my hand over my stomach, a smile on my lips. It's been a while.

Lorenzo seemed unimpressed by my statement and took steps so he was closer in my view.  He wore an angered look on his face now, good I'm glad my truthful words pissed him off.

"I told you I would find you Serina—I didnt stop till I did." He growled as he stood back beside me as I laid on the edge of the bed. His bed. The bed he had fucked the slut in

I laughed slightly as I closed my eyes again, wishing I could get the peace back.

"You are so fucking immature." Lorenzo growled as he sat back in the chair.

I opened my eye to peer sideways at him. I was the immature one? That's fucking laughable.
I scoffed as I opened my mouth "I am immature? Says the one who stuck their dick in a prostitute and then fucking shot Rosario because I kissed him." I shook my head lightly and watched as his eyes narrowed.

He seemed to winced as I said that I had kissed him. "Why did you kiss him." He asked as he looked down at his hands for a second, the jealousy and anger I felt coming off him felt almost comforting if that even fucking makes sense.

I got used to it almost, and I know that sounds stupid.

Looking at him I felt my head play again the memory of the woman walking into his room, and the moans that echoed through the wall. Looking away from him and to the ceiling I scowled "it's none of your fucking business."

"I can kiss whoever I want. I have kissed whoever I want all my life. And I will continue to do so." The words felt harsh on my lips, but I was only saying them to cover the real reason I had kissed Rosario.

Which reminded me swiftly. Was he dead?

Lorenzo stood and grabbed the lamp that rested in the bed side table and smashed it against the wall. It shattered and crumbled to the floor.He was angry—jealous.

But I would never admit to him that the real reason I kissed Rosario was because I hoped it would dull the jealousy and anger that had consumed me.

I had never been that jealous, and I let it control my actions. Just like Lorenzo had.

He laughed slightly, it wasn't a humorous laugh but a warming. "If you think that I will let another man even look your way again then you are mistaken." His words made my stomach swell with heat and nervousness.

"Jealousy looks good on you." I whispered lowly. Maybe it was the fever that made me say all this, or maybe I just stopped giving a shit.

But jealousy did look good on him, the way his muscles would tense and how his teeth would clenched. His breath becoming hard and his gaze stiff.

"I'm not jealous sparrow, but whats mine is mine." He said as he rested his elbows on his knees. "You belong to me for the time being."

"fabulous." I uttered as I looked into his eyes, they studied mine intensely. His gaze falling away to my arms and face.

The bruises that stood out were prominent, and I didn't blame him for looking. I sighed lightly, hating the look of pity and guilt that crossed his face. "It's funny Kye told me that you weren't coming—" I whispered and he looked up to my eyes "said that I should stop protecting you and he'd make it easier for me."

"What did you tell him." He growled. My heart stung at the thought that Lorenzo would believe I'd sell him down the river for providence.

"Nothing." I whispered, shaking my head lightly. A tear falling from my eye. "But I wanted to—so fucking badly." I admitted with a slight laugh. And the laugh grew at the realization that I protected him, even after everything he did.

My laughs engulfed the room, echoing loudly as he stared down at me. "But I couldn't." I laughed through breathes. "Even after everything—everything that had happened! I decided I'd rather let him beat the shit out of me rather then tell him something about you."

He clenched his two hands together, his knee bouncing slightly. His eyes raging into mine, keeping me trapped. He stayed completely silent. But his eyes were searching mine desperately.

"What did he do to you?" He asked lowly after a while, my laugh faded and we were in silence.
"Did he—Did anyone fuck you serina?"

"No." I answered simply. "Kye said he wanted to, threatened to 'fuck me senseless' when I'd talk back."

He stood up from his chair so fast it fell backwards and he took a few steps away his back turned away from me. He was wearing a black suit, like usual—but still every time he wore one he looked good. He was a bastard and I hate his stupid sexy face, but he looked good.

Lorenzo looked like he was searing, his fists clenched by his sides, his back to me.

"I told him I would kill him—so I did." I said and he turned to face me, he looked like a beast.

"He didn't deserve to be killed quickly Serina."

I closed my lips, as I propped myself up on my elbows. It hurt to do so, but I didn't want to lay down anymore. "Well I think he got what he deserved. All this happened to me Lorenzo, I killed him. It wasn't your revenge to take." I growled and he looked at me for a few seconds before opening the door and walking out slamming it loudly behind him.

"Fuck you Lorenzo." I yelled as I fell back onto the bed. I knew his whole Prince Charming saving the day shit wouldn't last.

Grabbing the sheets with my one hand I wince, as I pulled them off me. Bandages covered my thighs, waist and arms. The stupid lingerie the only thing I still had on.

I looked like a twisted version of little red riding hood.

Tossing my feet over the edge I use my hands to stand, my wounds burns and ache all over my body but I can't stay in here. Staying in here is too easy.

I walked to the door, And opened it not surprised to see a man standing their as guard. "Go back to bed." He said plainly as he stood in front of me, blocking my way.

Grabbing his shirt I pull him to me slightly. "Get the fuck out of my way." I said feeling the anger drip off me. When he didn't move I ran my hand up his arm, and to the top button of his shirt. "Please." I whispered as I looked up at him with hooded eyes, blinking to add an effect to my look of innocence.

My hand moving as I push him slightly out of my way, as I pop the first button of his shirt.

"Serina enough." I heard Lorenzo say, as me and the man look quickly over. The guard stiffening and backing away from me. I roll my eyes and turn, my body protesting me.

"You men and all your possessive natures." I grumble as I took a step towards Lorenzo. He still looked quite mad, I could see it in his eyes.
"You never let me play." I smirk, I felt like a minx in this moment. I felt like a fox, swift and seductive.

"Serina." Lorenzo growled his warning but I didn't care. He could growl all he wanted, he could yell all he pleased—it can't deter me. Not now.

I walked up to him, it hurt slightly to stand but that hurt seemed to disappear as I stood In front of him. Giving him that same hooded innocent look I gave the guard he clenched his jaw. "If you weren't injured I would-"

"You would what." I whispered stopping his words. The guard was long gone now, it was just me and Lorenzo in this open space. "Would you touch me like Rosario did?" I smirked as hair fell into my eyes.

How did it go from us arguing to me saying these words? I'm not sure, but fuck am I good at slutty talk.

"Would you punish me?" I said as he walked closer to me, till he stood inches away. There was no point in me denying the fact that I wanted him, and I hated that I wanted him to fuck me the way he fucked that whore.

I hated that I wished it was me. Fuck see this is why I fucking hate men, they do this shit to me.

But I knew that I couldn't sleep with him. But it is still fun to mess around. "Would you fuck me in this spot or would you prefer to watch me bend over your stupid desk." I seethed.

"I'd do a lot fucking more then bend you over." He growled as he came close, but he didn't dare put his weight on me. He didn't want to hurt me, after everything I've said he won't touch me—he doesn't want to hurt me.

But I knew he could do a lot more then punish me or bend me over, but he wouldn't get all the control I wouldn't let him just take it. I'd push him onto the bed, or maybe against his desk—maybe I'd get on my knees or maybe I would just fuck him. If I would fuck him, this is only hypothetical after all.

He was dangerous, he knew he was. But I am also dangerous.

"I would never have told Kye anything." I said after a while to break the silence. It was bitter, but not cold. I hadn't even noticed he had placed a hand on my waist to keep me standing.

I was stupid for getting out of bed and making myself hurt more. But I knew getting up would lead me back to him.

"I know you wouldn't." He said as he pushed away from me. "Now go lay down Serina, you shouldn't be up walking." He eyed me once more before he walked off. His large figure stalking down the hallway as my breath rang loudly and my heart beat so fast I thought I was having a heart attack—or maybe I was just hot and bothered.

Lorenzo POV

I had watched the doctors asses her, carefully watching their every moves to make sure they didn't hurt her more. I had brought her to my room and laid her to sleep in my sheets.

I don't know why, but I did it.

I had watched as her wounds got infected as she laid there with her eyes closed. A cloth over her head as she shook violently, her perfect lips almost blue. I begged that she would open them and swear at me. but for so long she didn't

I had stayed with her, watching as she didn't wake up. The pain I felt when Kye had taken her had returned, only now it was worse because she was laying right in front of me suffering and I couldn't do anything to help her.

Then when her eyes opened I felt relief flood me, my entire body relaxing. I hadn't left her side, I don't want to. But the first thing she said was snarky and I loved that I grew angry at her words.

Though I hated the words she was saying, I couldn't stop looking at her. Even when she was bruised she was still the most beautiful woman I've seen.

There are millions of pretty woman, but none of then look nearly as innocent and spitefully stunning as Serina. I hated that I wished she would follow me out the door when I slammed it closed, and when she did I wanted to laugh.

Because of course she had followed me

She brushed that guards arm, every intent to most likely wound him in some way to get past him. I watched as she lit up as she turned to me.

How the sexual glow in her eye sparked, but I also saw her restraint. She wouldn't let me fuck her, and I knew that I couldn't.

Still though she pushed me with her words, and I let myself slip for a second as I told her I'd do more then just bend her over.

I loved the ways she looked as I said it however. I knew no man could please her like I could, and I think she also knows that.

But before I could let myself slip completely I left. I fucking didn't want to, but I would not have been able to stop myself if I stayed.

She knew it and I knew it. I hated that she knew it.

"How's she doing." Marco asked as he stepped into my office, a joint in my mouth as I try my fucking best to smoke away the tightness in my chest.

"Fine." I growled. She acted like she was fine anyways, that none of it affected her. But I knew it had, I saw it in her eyes as she looked at the bruises and cuts on her body.

"It's like she pretends like it never happened, like she is okay now." I grunt as I puff out a cloud of smoke.

"Everyone heals differently." He says as he pulls a chair and sits across from me.

"She is pushing the problem away—it will eat her alive, I see the things that echo in her eyes. She replays it over and over" I muttered. I could see the pain that was in her eyes as she spoke of what Kye told her. I knew he had hurt her, but that was all I knew.

I wanted to know everything That had happened to her, but I know she wouldn't just tell me.

"She is handling it the best she knows how. Trust me she is a lot braver then you think." He smiles lightly.

I knew how brave she was. I knew it better then anyone.

"She's dangerous. Yet I still don't want to stay away." I admit. But he already knew it. He'd been my friend for my whole life. He knew.

"Well some men like dangerous woman." Marco said. I didn't like her, this wasn't high school. I don't like her, I am curious and that is all.

"Well some men are fools" I replied. As I picked up a glass that sat on the edge of my desk and threw it against the wall listening to it shatter and break.

Look at this cute dog that has no relation to this chapter

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Do you ship Elena and Damon more or Elena and Stefan?

Xoxo- AbigalKnightly