Update! ♥️
Don't forget to vote, bbies. 💜
Sorry for the delay but a friend of mine fell really ill and I've been worried about her. So this will be short.

The next day the all boys had left for Seoul after Jimin and Jongin insisted they shouldn't lose any more business and Taehyung should catch up on work, also since their father wasn't doing too well, it was uncertain when they'd be discharged from the hospital. Their mother was at a high risk of infection too due to her weak body, so the boys could only wave to her from outside.

Yoongi and Hoseok also postponed their wedding till after Jimin comes back to Seoul. This was going to be tough for Jungkook and Jimin but it was what the time and circumstances demanded. After they left Jongin and Jimin sat alone in the hospital's cafeteria for hours when a nurse walked up to them around 10pm and told them that their father was asking for them.

"I'm sorry but we'll call you after 10 minutes. He needs to rest." The nurse shrugged and said politely. The boys smiled and nodded as they walked in.

Jimin saw all the monitors surrounding his father as he lay there, his face pale and eyes fluttering open weakly. But he still smiled seeing them. His smile grew wider as he saw Jimin approach and Jimin smiled back, but his eyes were guilty.

"Appa.." Jongin whispered softly.
"Jongin-ah... Jiminie.." He breathed out and the boys could feel themselves tearing up.
"I have missed you." He said softly and extended his arm to Jimin who stood behind Jongin as guilt took over. Jongin smiled and held Jimin's hand to bring him closer to their father.
"I missed you too." Jimin said timidly as a tear fell from his eyes.

"You haven't changed much.." His father smiled and held his hand.
"You look slimmer. Both of you. Eat well." he said and it was evident that it was hard for him to talk a lot. Before they could say anything, he spoke up.
"Jiminie.. I have to buy you a guitar." He whispered.
"Wh.."
"I broke your guitar. I'm sorry." He said softly and Jimin saw a tear escape his eye. He was under strong painkillers so he couldn't talk too well.
"Appa, no.. Hyung--" Jimin looked at Jongin to say  something to him to comfort him but his brother brother bit his lip sadly and looked down.

"It's okay. That was years ago." Jimin panicked.
"No.. I didn't realise then but after all this time and almost losing my only chance to say this.. I don't want to lose my sons because of my stupidity." he said softly.
"Appa, no! We're here! And I was stupid, you wanted me to do well and I'm doing so well now. That was a stupid and unrealistic dream-" Jimin said.

"Unrealistic?! Do you even realise how much potential you have? That your voice is like no other I've heard, every song you wrote or sang, it had soul in it, I kept all the lyrics you wrote, even tried to fix your guitar... Jimin, your dreams were the most realistic knowing the talent you have and how hard you work. It's not too late, please." he said holding Jimin's hand tightly and the monitor displaying his blood pressure began beeping.

"Appa.. You need to rest. We'll see you, okay?" Jongin said softly and held his hand too.
"Jiminie.. You'll stay, right?" His father asked faintly.
"Of course! Of course, I will. Please, rest. I'll see you. I love you." Jimin's heart raced. Did his father actually not think he'd stay there? It broke him. His father nodded as he closed his eyes.

They both drove home and went to their rooms to freshen up. Both of them felt really numb after seeing their father like that. He was always this strong, authoritative figure in their lives. To see him so weak and pale made them feel rather lost and weak themselves. Jimin was feeling so lost, and confused. He didn't know what to feel.

It was about 1am, when Jimin went out to get some water after talking to Jungkook, when he found his brother sitting in the living room, smoking.
"When did you start smoking, hyung?" Jimin sat next to him and smiled.
"About 2 years ago." Jongin smiled and combed his hair back and offered him one, Jimin shook his head and declined politely. It was awfully quiet and the lamp was the only light which was switched on.

Jimin saw Jongin sitting with a scrapbook, he picked it up and saw the lyrics his father had once torn apart. All the pages were taped and stuck to the pages of the scrapbook. Jimin began tearing up again.
"He really did try to fix it." Jongin smiled and shook his head.
"But he was so against my singing.." Jimin tried.
"No. He just... Wanted you to do well. When you're not rich, and you see the potential in your kid to do well, you do stupid stuff, I guess." Jongin said smoking his cigarette and Jimin bit his lip, lost in thought.

"Never thought I'd see Appa look like this... Maybe I should move back to Busan." Jongin said softly.
"Do you want to?" Jimin asked him.
"Honestly?" Jongin smiled.
"Yeah." Jimin said.
"No." Jongin sighed, shaking his head.
"But?" Jimin asked.
"But I feel like I'd do better closer to them. Besides I need a new place, might as well return to my roots. " Jongin said crushing the ciggerate in an ashtray.

"What do you feel about moving to Seoul with me? We'll have the house here and you guys can come over there. We can take care of them too." Jimin said.
"Really?" Jongin laughed.
"Yes." Jimin nodded and Jongin shook his head. There fell a heavy silence when once again Jimin glanced at Jongin's wrists.
"Years ago." Jongin said as he showed his arms to him.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Jimin teared up.
"You were really young then about 13, I didn't want you to see your hyung like that. After that you've been so distant, Jimin.For years. I didn't how to-" Jongin said and looked away.
"I'm sorry, I didn't stand up for you when you needed me to. But I was young, stupid and an elder child. I thought Eomma and Appa knew the best. I should've fought for that audition. But seeing you after years has made me realise all the time we've lost not talking. I can't risk it again. Don't give up singing, Jimin. Don't." Jongin said holding his hands.

"But you gave up dancing..." Jimin choked back tears.
"Yes but my priorities changed. Yes, I loved it and I gave it up voluntarily unlike you. And your singing.. It's a part of you. It gave you happiness." Jongin said cupping his face.

Jimin's mind played all the happy memories music gave him, whether it was him singing and Jongin dancing to it as teens, or him and Taehyung singing on the top of their lungs on the terrace, or feeling less lonely on a gloomy night, even Jungkook who then introduced him to his brothers who were like his own now. Singing and music gave him all his happy memories.

"Jimin, I'm not forcing you but please promise me, you'll consider. Please." Jongin tried but Jimin cried, looking at him with dismay.
"Come on, baby brother. You didn't want to sing for fame or money. It was to bring hope to another young kid like you out in this world. Who's stuck feeling like it isn't worth trying. Even if it's just one person who listens to your songs and it heals them. It's worth it. You know it. " He said cupping his face. Jimin nodded, he did know it.

But he also knew it took so much for him to leave his dreams behind and now to chase them again, he'd have to leave this life behind. But would it be such a bad thing to leave this version of him behind? Probably, not. But was it going to be harder this time, to forgive, let go and do it all over again? Definitely, yes.

Jimin wasn't sure if he had that strength after all this turmoil over the years.

Author's note:

Remember the names of all the innocent victims because till justice is served and a change is brought nobody can breathe freely. Remember.

"Please, I can't breathe."

Rest In Peace

George Floyd, May 25, 2020.