Everyone hated me.

Everyone was in trouble.  Deep.  And it was all my fault apparently.  How was it that the rest of the girls had been buying weed gummy bears and cookies for who knows how long, and I try a few over the weekend and get caught? 

Because I'm me, and I have the worst luck.  And a nosy little sister.  On Monday morning I trudge into school, dreading the day because everyone on the soccer team now hates me.  I won't be here for long, though.  At 9 a.m. my dad and some of the other soccer parents are all coming in to discuss the situation.  We'll all be suspended and any chance of making it to the state playoffs are shot.

I walk down the high school hallway, keeping my eyes focused on the back of the head of the kid ahead of me.  I refuse to hang my head in shame.  I'm not the one who had them in the first place.  That was Abby.  If anyone should be the new school pariah it should be her.  I'm sure she was dealing to not just the soccer team, but other kids too.

Even though I don't look, I feel the stares.  I walk to my locker, head high, and my fingers automatically twist out my combination.  As I put away my books from the weekend and get out what I need for the first two periods, I sense someone come up beside me.

"Way to go," a random sophomore kid, Brendan, tells me, looking smug.  He's some super rich kid who already has a car even though he lives in New York City.

"What?" I ask, glancing at him.  "Did you finally realize you're an unspeakable wretch, thanks to my highly innovative insults?"

If he thought I was going to cower, he was highly mistaken.  It took him a moment to digest my sentence.  "You cut off the whole school's supply!"

"Yeah?" I stuffed my English notebook into my backpack.  "Well I'm sorry that now you might have to find a menacing drug dealer on the street like everyone else.  Tell someone who gives a shit."

I slammed my locker and glared at him.  "Heinous bitch."

"I bite my thumb at you," I Shakespeared him, performing the action as I glared right at him.  As I turned to walk the other way I almost slammed into Abby.  So much for a triumphant getaway.

"Abby," I said flatly, looking at her upturned face.  I was surprised she actually showed up today.  We all knew we'd be suspended so several members of the team just stayed home.  My dad was apparently a glutton for punishment, wanting me to actually have to face the principal and own up to my misdeeds.  I guess Abby's parents were the same way.

She glared at me for a moment and then moved to step around me.  I huffed and turned in place.  "What?  No love?" I called after her.

She stopped in place and turned back to face me, hands perched on her backpack straps.  "You know, maybe you could come down from your high horse and actually feign a bit of responsibility?  I didn't have any problems until I shared with you."

I did feel shitty about it.  At home yesterday when Pippa and Dad found me out it was one of the worst moments of my life.  Despite how the media sometimes paints teenagers, I actually do care what my parents think of me and so do my friends.  I want to please them and I usually do. I overachieve like my life depends on it and rarely cause problems.  My dad's approval meant everything to me and to see him so disappointed in me was crushing.  To the world and to me, he was this ray of sunshine - always positive and ready for a smile or a laugh.  When that went away, it was like my heart was being trampled on.

I don't know why, but I felt like I still needed to put up a front.  At school, I had to be confident and capable.  Hunter was highly competitive and other kids could smell fear.  If I walked around with my tail between my legs, everyone would pounce.  Thrown to the wolves.  This place could chew kids up and spit them out like nothing.  No, I wasn't going to do that.  I was going to be my normal, sassy, quick-thinking school self.  Slightly different than my home self, but still Joey.

"Responsibility?" I quirked an eyebrow.  "If anyone needs to take responsibility it's you.  You're the one who had the stuff in the first place."

The bell rang and students began to hustle all around us.  "Get to class!" one of the nearby teachers yelled.  Abby pushed her tongue up in front of her teeth, like she wanted to slap me but knew she couldn't.  She gave me a last glare and then turned to go.  I rolled my eyes and headed the other direction.

___

I tried my best to concentrate in math class, but my heel was bouncing nervously.  I kept looking at the clock, knowing my dad was here with the other parents, talking to the principal.  Any time I'd be called down.

At 9:33, the classroom phone rang and the teacher stopped his rambling to go answer.  After a brief conversation he looked at me.  "Joey, you're needed in the main office."

I felt a few kids looking at me, and I'm sure everyone knew the reason.  Hunter was a small high school and everyone knew everyone's business.  I ignored the stares and packed up my stuff.  The halls were empty as I made my way downstairs and into the main office.  The secretary smiled at me, greeting me by name, and told me to go back to Dr. Fisher's office.  The door was slightly ajar, so I pushed it open slowly.  Abby was already in there with both her parents, as well as my dad.  Dr. Fisher looked up from his massive desk and told me to have a seat.  No smile like usual.  The teachers and principal always loved me, and I felt my heart drop to know I had also disappointed Dr. Fisher.  I slipped my backpack off my shoulder and set it next to the empty chair.  I sat.

"Thanks for joining us, Joey," Dr. Fisher said, pulling his chair up a little closer to his desk.  "As I'm sure you're aware, we have a very serious situation on our hands."

I nodded and stayed quiet, trying to steal a glance at Abby.  I could tell she'd been crying.

"Using and selling drugs is a serious offense for adults, let alone kids," he went on, crossing his arms.  "Add to that the fact that some of it occurred on school property, at school-sanctioned events, and it gets even worse."

Despite my better judgment, I interrupted.  "But it wasn't on school property!"

"Josephine," my dad warned.  I looked over at Abby and she wouldn't look at me.  I felt punched in the gut as I realized she was trying to take me down with her.

"According to several other girls' testimony, it was," Dr. Fisher corrected me.  "The gummy bears were handed over to you in the girls' locker room on Saturday.  That makes the situation even more serious."

"That's bullshit!" I yelled, sitting up at attention in my seat.  I looked at Abby, incredulous, but she wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Josephine," my dad's voice raised, his hand on my upper arm to push me back.  I snatched my arm away, looking straight at Dr. Fisher.

"Dr. Fisher," I leveled out my voice, knowing the adults might take me more seriously if they didn't think I was losing my shit.  Which I totally was.  "I accept responsibility for buying a bag on Saturday.  But I did not buy them in the locker room.  It was in the park.  Way after the game."

"Not according to multiple accounts," he countered.

"From who?" I demanded.

"I can't discuss that with you," he said.  "I had to contact the NYPD and there's now an open investigation.  The school might become involved in litigation."

I muttered under my breath, stopping myself from running my mouth more, but it took every ounce of energy in me.  This was how it was going to go down?  After years of playing soccer together and friendship, my teammates were making me take the fall with them?  I had never felt so hurt in my life.

"As for disciplinary action at school," Dr. Fisher changed course.  "You're both suspended for a full week and hereby expelled from the soccer team for the rest of the school year."

I felt like I was going to puke.  I accepted that I was in trouble at home with Dad and Pippa, but why did school have to get involved?  I got that we were on the soccer team together, but this had all happened outside of that.  Except according to Abby and some of the other girls, it hadn't.  I felt another deep pang of betrayal, again looking at Abby, imploring her to explain.  She still ignored me.

The next few minutes were a blur.  Abby's parents and my dad asked a couple more questions and then we were all dismissed.  I was suspended until next Monday.  None of my class work would be counted.  For an overachiever like me used to getting straight A's, it was devastating.

Dad knew me well enough not to bother saying anything to me right now.  After a quick trip to my locker to get a few things, I met him at the front entrance.  I averted my eyes and rushed ahead of him, walking fast to the subway station.  When we finally got home, I went straight to my room, dropped my bag, and threw myself onto my bed.  I cried like I never had before.