At the beginning of the new semester, Flavia began to feel the boredom of routine. Not only at school, but also at the disco. Although she only went there on weekends, monotony had tarnished the shine of novelty. Especially since she realized that she couldn't surpass herself. As much as she was doing well, Claudia remained an enviable benchmark in her mind.

«When you write, but not only then, be generous in your way of communicating» the Italian teacher was concluding. «Try to be always understanding, not only in listening, but above all in expressing yourself.»

Flavia needed new stimuli, and she would have gone looking for them, if Claudia's father had given her a little more freedom. In particular, she had decided that it was time to overcome the traumas of drowning, the traumas of pseudo-homosexual dreams with Gianluca, and take swimming lessons.

One of her last thoughts before dying had been to learn to swim if only she had another chance. Now that she finally had her report card in hand and money in her purse, it was time to keep the promise she had made to herself.

The bell for the last class on Saturday was about to ring and, even though she already knew most of what was being taught at school, that point in the lesson had caught her attention. She realized that this was one of those moments when the teacher was giving out certain advice that she would not have found printed in textbooks, nor in the words of other teachers.

«Strive to put yourselves in the shoes of others when you want to convey a message. Develop a culture of refinement in what you do. If you feel the care in expressing yourselves as duty rather than a pleasure, then there is something you can improve on.»

Flavia would have really liked to put herself in the shoes of the boys who watched her dance on the podium... but, alas, the shoes she had to wear were those that paired with the "eye-candy doll attire" that Gianluca wanted so much to see her in. However, she thought it was a good advice to put into practice that same afternoon.

Refinement. She found the concept worthy of consideration, especially if she had to shake her booty dressed as an eye-candy doll.

Fabrizio was in the living room with his computer, wearing the dissatisfied expression of someone who isn't getting paid enough for working on Saturday at lunchtime. Flavia went straight to the kitchen to rummage through the fridge.

«Dad, have you seen my report card online yet?» she said, raising her voice to be heard from the other side of the apartment.

Sitting in the kitchen, she nibbled on something while waiting for lunch to be ready, with Mrs. Giulia bustling around her, giving the finishing touches to the pots.

«Claudia dear, why didn't you warn me?» she whispered with a face that was a mix of grief and apprehension. «I would have done something special to put him in a good mood!»

«Mrs. Giulia, don't you feel that trust has already been in short supply in certain relationships lately?»

«Darling» the nanny replied indignantly, «even if I didn't come to your aid this time, it doesn't mean you can't trust me!»

«Actually, I was talking about trust towards me...»

«Oh, poor little thing!» she cooed in a softened voice. «You'll see that over time your new teachers will get to know you!»

«Thank you Mrs. Giulia, your optimism brings tears to my eyes.»

«But of course» she smiled.

«I'm going to get the report card, the sooner we solve this thing, the better...» Flavia said leaving the kitchen.

Fabrizio lifted his eyes and saw his daughter's face contracted in an expression of dissatisfaction, as she handed him the document with the grades.

"It's the worst report card I've ever had..." Flavia thought, unimpressed.

Like someone preparing for a surgery without anesthesia, Fabrizio picked up the sheet with a clenched jaw.

«It's the best report card I've ever had!» he exclaimed. «I was starting to worry, but it seems that all those days of studying at your friends' really paid off...»

«I worked hard...»

«With all this going out on weekends, I have to tell you that I had started to doubt... but look here, not a single grade under seven, and that nine in math!» he said ecstatically.

«And to think that I deserved even better...»

«Come on, don't be too demanding with yourself. Now it's all easier, you just have to maintain these results.»

Fabrizio interrupted himself gesturing with one hand for Flavia to wait while he slipped the other hand into his jacket with a Santa Claus face. «Here, you've earned these...» he said, opening the wallet.

He handed her a bill of the big ones. Flavia tried her best to accentuate the expression of enthusiasm as much as she could in front of that prize... which was about half of what she had in her purse at that moment.

She peeked at Fabrizio's computer screen. He was dealing with an electronic correspondence from Valdaora's administration. Flavia had a handful of seconds to look at the open files, but she understood right away that the compensation they were offering him was not enough to keep him working on Saturday at lunchtime, and even less would it have been enough to convince him to visit that remote village in the middle of the Alps, as they were asking him to.

«Still dealing with those from Valdaora? Did they make you a convincing offer?»

«No, they hope for impossible things for the budget they have available.»

«Why don't you ask them if they are willing to give you a piece of land?»

At that moment he received a new email that he quickly read the few lines of.

«Well, look at that!» he was surprised, «there's no need... they're offering me one by a lake.»

Flavia looked at the screen again.

«Hey, who's Sandra?» she asked pointing to an incoming email.

«A colleague» Fabrizio said curtly. «Come on! Don't be nosy, help Mrs. Giulia set the table.»

Right after lunch, Michela arrived as usual to take Flavia to "study" at her place.

«Not today» Fabrizio forbade them. «Go have fun somewhere. Claudia is treating, she has a lot to thank you for.»

«Come on Michi, I'll take you to the disco» Flavia cheered. «Let's celebrate the end of the curfew!»

Flavia put into practice that very evening the advice of the Italian teacher; it was also easier for her to perform with flair knowing that she had earned a large slice of freedom that day.

Her social life became more active: she could hang out with Michela, Gianluca and Giuseppe more freely. She could have done it with Flavio too.

She tried to convince her young self to put aside his hostility towards any form of dance. It would have been nothing but beneficial if he had learned. One morning she asked him if he knew how to dance, she told him about her work at the disco, hoping to transfer some of her enthusiasm to him.

The only result she got, however, was leading him to believe that it was a suggestion to ask her out. The fact that this kind of intuition had always struck Flavio with some delay, that is, after they had separated, spared Flavia the embarrassment of facing the invitation, and led the shy fifteen-year-old to bemoan his wasted chances for the rest of his life. The fact that his life was destined to last another six years or so did not make the regret any less bitter for him.

In late spring, Renato called Flavia into the little living room with the white lacquered door and had her sit on the burgundy velvet sofa. He stretched out his expression into a friendly face, unusually tanned for May, and sat next to her.

«Darling, I've taught you so many things, haven't I?» the manager began.

«Yes... and I'm really grateful for that» Flavia replied, uneasy as she sensed Renato's ulterior motives.

«Do you remember when you came? You were so lost... but I trusted you.»

«I appreciated it a lot, for real... what do you want to tell me?»

«Now you're a true little a diva, you've improved so much since you arrived» Renato praised her. «The CML&VEM...»

«The what?» Flavia interrupted him.

«Crowd mix leader and vibe energizing manager» he spelled out, waving a hand in the air like a handkerchief that salutes a departing ocean liner. «He asked me to... lend you for Saturday nights.»

«I thought you were the crowd mix leader around here.»

«See, sweetie, I handle the young area. I'm talking about the senior manager of the night disco, the legendary master of all that is groovy, the maestro of party vibes, do you understand?»

«And he came to see me at the kids' afternoon disco?»

«I'm so proud of you!» Renato squealed, moved to an almost broken voice, while the walkie-talkie crackled. «Not now!» he barked with rage into the microphone attached to his earpiece. Then he returned to giving Flavia puppy eyes. «They need reinforcements and they came to see new recruits in our prime time groove. In addition to noticing the stellar, VIP grade success you're having, they appreciated a certain... air of maturity in your jamming style. Picture this: they're offering both of us a nice bonus reward. All you have to do is to extend your session, just a little, on Saturday only.»

«I don't think I can do it» Flavia declared dryly.

«Darling, think again, it's a career opportunity...»

«I don't need to build a career here.»

«But I do!» Renato whined. «You don't realize... they're offering me to leave these crappy gigs in administration and allow me to focus on art and funk development!»

«Seriously, I'm sorry, but I have too many commitments.»

«Commitments? Commitments!» Renato forced a laugh. «You're a bit spoiled... and you're so naive! You don't know what you're saying, sweetheart.»

«Damn it, I don't want to! I just turned sixteen, I have school, gym, yoga, swimming, piano, violin, theater workshop, Latin American dance lessons that you yourself advised me to take...»

Renato's mouth hung wide open as Flavia continued, determined, putting her reasons on the table.

«...on Saturday nights I'm dead tired and I'd like to keep seeing my friends. And then the time to dress up, put on makeup, style my hair! Shaking my booty even more is the last thing I need. You have no idea what it means to be a woman.»

«No... unfortunately» the manager sighed, taking a pause. «But you would earn two or three times what you make in an afternoon.»

Flavia wrinkled her nose, but Renato insisted, bargained, begged and then threatened, until Flavia realized that she had to accept, or soon she would need another job if she didn't want to give up some of her other activities for lack of funds. In the end they found a compromise and Flavia managed to extract a promise from Renato that she would gradually be exempted from working on Saturday afternoons.

The nights at the disco were more exciting than she had expected. She could observe more mature socialization mechanisms, completely different from those of her peers. She was learning things that she would have wanted to know throughout her life as Flavio.

She noticed certain common patterns in girls' behaviors, things that at the beginning seemed absurd to her. She wasn't sure if she understood all of it in depth, but she was becoming convinced of one thing.

Time and again, she had the impression that most women liked jerks, whom they were prone to fall in love with. Then they hated them because they behaved like jerks, then they hated themselves for liking a jerk, then they looked for a jerk who would treat them worse than they treated themselves for liking the previous jerk, so they could say they deserved better than a jerk who treated them badly, and finally, they looked for a jerk who would treat them better, a jerk they could feel free to like just the way they liked the initial jerk.

That was the cycle of life.

She was staring at two of them down there without realizing it, while she was thrashing on the podium for quite a while now. It was two louts who moved around like they were the masters of the world, even though they seemed to be able to express themselves onlau through atavistic grunts.

She envied the ease with which such guys could approach girls. It was an envy that went even beyond the one she felt towards them simply for being men. In a way, they were even more so than she was during the time when she was still male.

She was staring at those two, but in reality, she was thinking about how it would be to return to her life as Flavio, and she wondered how she should behave with him while she was forced to live Claudia's life.

She hadn't noticed that the two atavistic louts had noticed her gaze and were returning it with unsettling enthusiasm. They had a somewhat tipsy air, their movements had more than a hint of alcohol.

She snapped out of her introspective trance and looked elsewhere at once.

She was tired. It was the end of her night, her week, and she just wanted to go back to her bed. At the end of the pounding rhythm song, she stepped down from the service pedestal and went to collect her pay for the night.

Flavia left the Reflections, immersed in the warm spring night, and took the swimmer's earplugs out of her ears, which she used to protect Claudia's hearing and her own mental sanity. Then, burdened by fatigue, she hurried home through the park, tempted to call a taxi, just this once. In the scarce five minutes it would take, she was sure she could even fall asleep in the seat. She rejoiced at the thought that on Monday morning, at school, there would be a school assembly and she would be allowed to rest.

In a deserted alley not far from the exit, the two louts, soaked in alcohol, caught up with her from behind. «Hey, cutie, why are you leaving alone?» one of them shouted.

Flavia huffed, exhausted, she couldn't take it anymore. Then she tried to appear as polite as possible, without overcoming her sleepy relaxation too much.

«I'm going home, sorry guys. Some other time I'll be glad to get to know you, really. I'm here every Saturday, okay?»

Even though they were tipsy, they easily positioned themselves beside her. One of them put an arm around her waist.

«Come on, I saw how you looked at me, let's have some fun, huh?» he said with a coarse smile.

A jolt of adrenaline took Flavia's breath away. The two had clung to her without her even noticing. She tried to wriggle free, but the two sleazebags persisted into holding on to her.

«What do you think you are doing, first you look at us and then you pull back? You can't do that» one of them said grabbing her by the arm.

«Look, I know you are into me, stop with the act» the other one said while squeezing her to him.

She was trapped and, no matter how hard she struggled, she didn't have enough strength to push them away. Even though she was scared, she didn't think of screaming. Crying for help would have been terribly cowardly for a man; but her reaction was not resignation; on the contrary, her powerlessness made her furious.

She felt their hands and their drunken muzzles pressing everywhere on her body when sudden shouts in the alley reached her and loosened the grip in which she was.

«Hey, what are you doing!» a bouncer shouted. He was running towards them with a mate.

«Leave her alone!» Giuseppe's voice was heard from behind.

In an instant, the two bouncers were by Flavia's side, while the attackers fled towards Villa Borghese.

«Thank goodness» Flavia said, trembling.

«Are you okay?» Giuseppe asked her.

«Yes, just a bit shaken» she reassured him. «Thank you, guys.»

«We thought it was strange that you left alone. We saw those two following you and we kept an eye on you» the other bouncer explained to her. «I'm going back to the entrance, alright Peppe?»

«Yes, I'll join you in a bit» Giuseppe confirmed while wrapping his arm around Flavia's shoulders. «Did your friend leave earlier tonight?»

«She didn't come at all...»

«Don't go around alone when you finish here at night, okay? So that such bastards don't bother you.»

Flavia made a disgusted face. «That was so disgusting, I feel sick to my stomach.»

«Always have someone with you here, I'm serious. Your friend, or a guy, which would be even better.»

«Are there so many rapists around here?» Flavia joked.

«No» Giuseppe smiled. «It's rare that things like that happen, but better not to be alone ever. Just in case, to be safe.»

«I think I'll start taking a taxi from now on.»

«Do you want me to call one for you?»

«No, I'll walk. For tonight I've had my share of bad luck. I'll be careful.»

Giuseppe looked surprised, and Flavia understood that he hadn't expected such a controlled reaction from her. Giuseppe gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder and then smiled at her with admiration. «It's already a lot that you didn't have a hysterical fit. You've had some good nerves for being first-year high school student.»

Flavia sighed, smiling bitterly. «You have no idea how many other things I've had, for being a first-year high school student.»