You: wtf

You: no

You: no no wtf

You: Im sure I'm
interpreting it wrong

You: I believe in my dumbness

You: I'm sure you're not the only
person with friends who
run a bar named bangtan

Justin Seagull: true
bangtan is a famous word

Justin Seagull:
especially for restaurants and bars

You: fuck you

You: so these guys arguing about
soy sauce in the background used
to be in a band with you?

Justin Seagull: yes

You: how long did it take u
to cook up this story

Justin Seagull:

You:

You: Jin, yoongi, hoseok, jimin, you

You: that's 5

You: wait

You: namjoon?????????????

Justin Seagull: yes

You: WTF

You: that bitch can dance?!?

Justin Seagull:
and rap and write and compose

You: so that's 6

You: u said 7

Justin Seagull: taehyung

You: right...

You: hahaha u have no
photos or videos to prove it

Justin Seagull: well

Justin Seagull:
we were asked to clean
up our devices and remove
everything related to the debut

Justin Seagull: but our pd nim took
the risk of not checking our phones
after giving the orders

Justin Seagull:
it was our responsibility to never
bring bangtan back for good

Justin Seagull:
Pdnim's a really nice person
He wouldn't have let us disband
had things been in his control

Justin Seagull:
so we all might have some photos

Justin Seagull:
We're just not allowed to share em

You:

["Jin," you place your phone on the slab in front of you and call him out respectfully.

"In my defense, I only found out recently and didn't have the time to think enough about it so I have nothing to do with whatever the fudge this bulgogi has gotten himself into. You can leave me and my restaurant out of this, we have no information to present to any investigation but if the matter gets worse we will only be able to provide you with some details on Jungkook's career at this place as an employee and that's all. No charges should be pressed against my employees and this place, except for Jungkook of course," Jin replies with his alibi in one breath, almost like he was waiting to say this.

People in the room pause for some seconds to recollect his words in their brains. Jungkook had a partial incredulous partially offended look on his face while yoongi went back to his work after passing a judgmental look to every human in the room. Some seconds of silence later you ask, "I just wanted to know if you really were in a band with him."

Jin grabs the utensils in front of him and drops them in the sink which is only few steps to his right, in the corner of the kitchen. The clinking noise of metals echo in the room followed by four pings of notification from your phone.]

Justin Seagull: Add Flavours of Pizza Nut's
tastiest Pan Pizzas to your mid week party.
20% off on your first order
Call 000000xx now!
Hurry and grab the offer

Justin Seagull: Add Flavours of Pizza Nut's
tastiest Pan Pizzas to your mid week party.
20% off on your first order
Call 000000xx now!
Hurry and grab the offer

Justin Seagull: Add Flavours of Pizza Nut's
tastiest Pan Pizzas to your mid week party.
20% off on your first order
Call 000000xx now!
Hurry and grab the offer

Justin Seagull: Add Flavours of Pizza Nut's
tastiest Pan Pizzas to your mid week party.
20% off on your first order
Call 000000xx now!
Hurry and grab the offer

You: what the fuck
is wrong with you

Justin Seagull: sorry

Typing...

You: wtf??

You: we're literally in the
middle of an important
conversation

You: are u trying to mock
me or something

You: with your sick ass
spamming kink

Typing...

You: it's not at all funny
just so you know

You: it only makes me develop
more doubts about you

Justin Seagull:
While jin responds, I thought I should
get done with one of the important things
on my to do list so I was trying to disable
my account from the website weused back
then to send spams after removing
certain numbers from my list, but I
clicked on "send" instead of "remove"
coz I've logged in through my phone as
I'm using the desktop version of the
website (which should be ideally logged in
through a computer coz it's automatically
generated stuff) so all the font is short and
I have to zoom in on the website and these
two buttons are right next to each other but
since the desktop version is quite heavy to
process, it kind of messes with my phone
which is why it hanged when I clicked on
"remove," (which it usually does anyway)
and when I tried to zoom out and click on
it again, it pressed "send" and I kind of
messed up the commands to send the
advertisements to the contacts preserved in
my account which was for the blueberry bar
but the blueberry bar doesn't exist anymore
so basically I accidentally advertised Pizza Nut
without any sponsorship, totally for free.
Hope that clears things out.

You: seriously what
is wrong with you?

Justin Seagull:
I wrote an explanation for my
current mistake while you
misinterpreted things

You: thank you for your elaborate explanation
which I will read later because, like I said before,
we're in the middle of an important conversation
and Jin won't stop banging his utensils while he
aggressively cleans them thrice for some reason

Justin Seagull: he wants attention

Justin Seagull:
u asked him a question and he wanted to be dramatic about it but then you ignored him

You: coz of ur frickin spam

You: stop texting me now

[A thud on the counter you and Jungkook were standing against grabs your attention. Yoongi had placed a glass in the middle of the counter, on the edge of it, close enough for him to grab it.

The sound of water being poured into the small glass merges with the clinking of metals. He only fills a quarter of it before dropping a white tablet into it. In the split of a second, effervescence replaces the air molecules above the water in that glass. Yoongi takes no more than five seconds to gulp the liquid.

"you guys want some? I have extras," yoongi asks as he walks towards Jin and puts his glass in the sink.

"No, I'm good. Thanks for asking," you reply with a smile, trying to be polite but it comes out kind of awkward.

"I would suggest you always keep a Dispirin with you whenever you plan to hangout with these guys," he speaks in a casual but calm tone, almost like a councilor as he turns around and goes back to his chores. "I always keep at least one or two in my wallet for times like these," he adds.

You couldn't help but appreciate his deep voice. Its the kind of voice that makes you wanna listen to him as he talks deep stuff about life even though the guy literally just spoke three sentences.]

You: yo is he opening up to me? 😳

Justin Seagull: maybe 👀

You: am I overreacting if I
feel too obliged and proud rn?

Justin Seagull:
nah you're good I've been there too

You:

You: ok back to business 😤

["Manager nim," you call Jin and immediately regret it as it comes out in a nasally voice, in the tone people use when they try to act like a five year old.

You did not intend it. Not at all. You didn't even think about it or had any thought related to it before.

Your hand covers your mouth immediately out of reflex as you let out an embarrassed chuckle. This will be added to your list of embarrassing memories to revisit and overthink about.

You clear your throat and start again in a professional manner, "I apologize for ignoring you earlier," you say, utterly cautious about your voice. "It would be very helpful if you could answer some of my questions or I would have no other choice but to believe Ive walked straight into a trap set up by a bunch of people from a criminal group."

"What the..." Jin's confused face takes a moment to comprehend your words. He stops everything to look at you incredulously. "Did you just call us a gang?"

"That will depend on your answers"

Jin immediately wipes his hands on his apron. He opens the kitchen's door and holds it. "Help yourselves," he says as he motions his hand outside the room asking you to leave, "over there," he adds and points at a table. "I'll be there in a minute," he informs after you get out of the kitchen along with Jungkook.]

You: ???

Justin Seagull: same

You: ??????

Justin Seagull: let's just sit there
I don't know what he wants either

[ten seconds of silence later]

You: till Jin returns, you can
answer my simple question

Justin Seagull:
nothing's simple in this world

You: so

You: why did u pretend
to be someone else?

Justin Seagull:
How did u find out I was Justin seagull

You: u really wanna ask
that question right now?

Justin Seagull: yes

You:

You: first answer my question

Justin Seagull:
Jin will be back in some seconds

Justin Seagull:
I'll need some time to explain

You:

You: if headache had a face,
it'd be yours

Justin Seagull: ouch

Justin Seagull:
so, what gave me away

You: Jimin

Justin Seagull: wHAT

Justin Seagull: that snitch

You: well

You: he didn't tell me

You: I figured it out coz
of his existence on this planet

Justin Seagull:

You: u spammed from
different numbers remember?

You: and one of those were
Jimin's phone number

You: so

You: after so many failed
attempts on finding u without
correlating Jeon Jungkook's
existence with Justin seagull

You: one fine day

You: on a very rare occasion

You: when I was completely sober

You: and was in my right mind

You: although I think I can function
decently when I'm mildly drunk

You: but that day I was 100% sober

You: like fully present

You: and when I'm 100% sober

You: I am 100% overthinking

You: so that day

You: I wondered

You: if jimin's phone was accessible
to someone, that would mean
that person was in proximity
with him at the blueberry bar

You: and jimin was friends
with hoseok

You: and Hoseok had added me
to a group chat with you
all and Jimin

You: and you guys were usually
the ones jimin hung out with at the bar

You: so I just went with my
first instinct and suspected all of
hoseok's friends who were in the chat

You: didn't think namjoon, Jin or
taehyung would be Justin seagull
coz they seemed too busy

You: but usually culprits are
the ones you would never suspect
so I put them on a lower priority

You: I decided to start my
investigation with Hoseok and jimin

You: I wasn't 100% sober again and
took a long time to come up with
the idea of texting justin seagull
when I hang out with them

You: so we went out to get food

You: and I kept receiving
constant replies from you even
when both of them were
busy devouring their food

You: so that ruled them
out for some time

You: then it was you

You: suspect number 3

Justin Seagull:
Can I get a minute

Justin Seagull:
just to mentally prepare myself

Justin Seagull:
And to comprehend the details so far

Justin Seagull:
that's too much for my brain

You: yeah sure

You: also

You: how long is a minute in
Jin's dictionary

You: is he still in the kitchen

Justin Seagull: seems like it

You: now that we know he's gonna
take some time you can
answer my question

Justin Seagull:
we're almost done with mine

Justin Seagull:
might as well complete it

Justin Seagull:
one must never leave a task unfinished

You: sure jeon jungpope

You: so

You: it was just that

You: you knew I had alcohol in
my system so you got me a smoothie

You: at least that's what it
seemed like to me after you said
that place had the best smoothies

You: that smoothie tasted like
something I would make

You: with all the ingredients
mixed disproportionately 👍

You: and it wasn't their first time
fucking it up, I've had their
smoothies before 🤓

Justin Seagull: well fuck

Justin Seagull:
google said caffeine after alcohol
could have some side effects

Justin Seagull:
Couldnt risk it

You: appreciate the effort tho
u risked ur seagullness for it

You: I was about to call Justinseagull
right after tasting that piece of shit

You: but I wasn't completely sure
so it took me till I dropped u near
the bar to finally give it a try

Justin Seagull:
and it had to be the one time I forget to
put my phone on silent

You: I'd have found u earlier
had I not been a fothermucking
alcoholic WHY AM I GHE WAY I AM

You: why couldn't U just reveal yourself

You: I mean sure after sending
such embarrassing, insulting,
and disrespectful texts, even
I would be ashamed of myself

You: but that was too much

You: you're way too sus
with all your sneakiness

Justin Seagull:
I didn't mean any of those insulting
embarrassing and disrespectful texts
I sent in the beginning

Justin Seagull:
those were just an attempt to get blocked

You: wtf

Justin Seagull:
It's a bit complicated

You: go ahead

Justin Seagull:
after Jin comes back and we're
done with his shit, I'll tell u everything I promise

You:

You: so sick of ur shit

You: you're so annoying

Justin Seagull: I'm sorry 😭

You: u should be

You: I should've just
called the cops