"All righty then," Captain Marmalade said as he led me to a room at the end of a hallway. "This is where you're going to sleep. Due to space limitations we all have to bunk up with a roomie."

The door whooshed open and I came face to chest with a large shirtless man with a pronounced belly that poured out over his waistband. Each of his arms were about as wide around as me and were mostly covered in a bright red sunburn as were his neck and face. The skin on his upper arms and the rest of his body was a pasty white color in the shape of a t-shirt. He had bushy eyebrows that met in the middle to form a unibrow and light brown hair done in a flat top style up front with a fairly impressive mullet in the back. He was just standing in the middle of the room in his underwear, not doing anything particular, other than staring off into space with a dumb look on his face. Every once in a while he would scratch his ass but otherwise he remained motionless.

"Legend, I'd like you to meet Bubba O'Riley."

"Bubba O'Riley? That's awesome!" I made devil horns with my hands and banged my head to an imaginary drumbeat. "Teenage wasteland! Am I right?"

"Huh?" Bubba said as he scratched his ass again.

"You know, The Who. With a name like that you've gotta be a fan of The Who, right?"

"Who?" he asked.

"The Who," I said. "But yeah."

"Oh, I know this," Captain Marmalade said. "Who's on first!"

"What?" I asked.

"No, What's on second," he said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said.

"No, I Don't Know's on third."

"Huh?" Bubba said again.

"I'm with you on this one, Bubba," I said.

"Okay," he said. Once again he scratched his ass.

"So I take it you're not a rock and roll fan then?" I asked.

"Huh?" Bubba said again.

"Rock and roll. You know music? You're not a fan of it? Rock and roll I mean?"

"Oh." Bubba said and paused for a few seconds before following that up with "No."

"Bubba's a man of few words," Captain Marmalade said. "If you ask me, that's not a terrible quality in a roommate. I'll tell you what, he may not know that band you're talking about or be into rock and roll, but he can really pound the drums. And it's fine because we're not playing rock and roll anyway. We're a jazz combo, remember?"

"Oh yeah, of course," I said. "I like all kinds of music myself. Except Alpha Centaurian country music. That stuff sucks."

"Agreed," Captain Marmalade said. "Well, I'll leave you two to get acquainted for a bit. We'll have an all crew meeting at 1800 hours followed by dinner and then a jam sesh. Don't forget to bring your trumpet." The door whooshed closed behind him as he left and I found myself alone with Bubba.

He didn't seem like he was in any hurry to say anything so I took a moment to look around. It was a small room with empty white walls and bare bones decor. Bubba took up most of the available space just standing there. A single fluorescent light was mounted in the ceiling and the floor was a bland off-white color just barely a shade different than the walls. There were a couple of bunk beds against one wall and a tiny bathroom off to the side contained a sink, a toilet, and a shower that was more like a small cubicle with a dirty green shower curtain.

"Well, it's been an absolute pleasure meeting you, Bubba," I said. "I feel like I'm smelling a little ripe from that trip I took in the garbage truck. You mind if I take a quick shower?"

He looked back and forth between the bathroom and me several times before finally answering. "No."

"All right. Well, you just keep on standing here I guess and I'll see you in a few minutes."

The shower appeared to only have two settings: cold and freeze-the-testicles-off-a-polar-bear, but I managed to get most of the garbage stench off of me with a lot of scrubbing. I stepped out and realized the only thing present in the way of a towel was a little white washcloth hanging on the towel rack that looked like it hadn't been through the laundry in a while. I peeked out the bathroom door. Bubba was still standing in the middle of the room staring off into space.

"Say, Bubba, you got any spare towels?"

He blinked his eyes several times and appeared to be lost in deep thought. "No."

Okay then. I guess I was going to have to make do with the washcloth. I pulled it off the towel rack and attempted to dry myself off with it. I couldn't help but notice it smelled like musty body odor and I seemed to be quickly undoing the work I had just done in the shower of getting nasty smells off of me. I came to the conclusion I was just going to have to air dry.

I shook myself off like a dog as best I could and then I paced back and forth for a while. I was only marginally drier now, but I decided to slip my clothes back on.

Bubba was still standing in the middle of the room where I'd left him. We still had a couple hours until the meeting so I figured I'd lie down for a bit and maybe squeeze in a little nap. I started to climb onto the top bunk when Bubba suddenly whirled around.

"No! That bed's mine! You're on bottom."

"Okay, boss," I said. "Don't mean to intrude. The bottom bunk looks just fine." Unfortunately it didn't feel fine. It was hard as a rock and also vaguely smelled like musty body odor. Still, I was pretty tired. I might be able to doze off for a bit regardless.

Then Bubba decided to climb onto the top bunk. The mattress sank beneath his weight until it was just a couple inches from my face. I started to feel claustrophobic but there wasn't enough space to squeeze out. It looked like I was stuck for the time being. I thought maybe I'd distract myself by making conversation.

"So, Bubba. How'd you hook up with Captain Marmalade's crew anyway?"

There were a few seconds of silence before he responded. "I dunno."

"You must really hate bad guys that get away with their crimes, right?"

"Huh?"

"You know. Criminals that go unpunished by the law. I know it really makes my blood boil. That's why I wanted to become a vigilante. It must be the same for you, right?"

A few more seconds of silence. "I guess."

This was like pulling teeth. Where was that Avery guy when you needed him? "Uh... so where are you from?"

There were a few more seconds of silence followed by a room rattling snore. Bubba had evidently had no issues falling asleep. As his snoring showed no signs of abating, I was pretty sure sleep was going to be an impossibility as long as I was bunkmates with Bubba.

The seconds ticked by interminably slowly as I waited for the meeting to start so I could wiggle free from this tight space I was stuck in.