shhhh I'm supposed to be on hiatus, this is our secret 😗💅
_____________

;;

jeongguk was prone to
blushing.

he was well aware of how
often he blushed and how
obvious it was when his
cheeks deepened to a dark
crimson hue. it was anything
that could trigger it really.

something irrelevant.
something one hundred percent
absolutely not worth
blushing over and something
that was ever so dull, a topic
that probably meant nothing
to the person that would utter
those words and have such a
consequential and emotionally
draining effect on him.

but for the first time ever...

jeongguk knew.

jeongguk knew that taehyung was
being serious. kim taehyung
wasn't bluffing.

he'd called him his.

'my jeonggukie'

there was no other explanation
and the fact that there was no
other explanation is what made
jeongguk burn till he felt like he'd
drop dead from being flustered
by it.

actually, scratch blush, his
entire body felt like it was
on fire , a pathetically overwhelming
and embarrassing feeling, he could
never hide the cherry in his cheeks
or the stutter in his voice or the
dryness of his lips and the tremble
of his hands.

this would never end, it seemed.
jeongguk would never grow used
to it. there would always be a part
of him that was so new, so surprised
by this, depsite whatever happened
between them.

last night for that matter.

he couldn't dwell on that as of
now, it really wasn't the time and
place and he knew that all too
well. but he couldn't help it.

no matter what they'd been through,
taehyung's words and his gazes and
his touches never grew old. he never
grew fed up or tired. they were the
same.

empowering yet enforcing authority.
praise yet scrutiny for his lack of self
appreciation. care. gentle and fragile
and benevolent. he treated him like
a prized possession, a dainty doll,
something he would treasure yet he
was still resisting because there was
something there. something other
than what jeongguk saw on the
outside that seemingly controlled
the man's thoughts.

jeongguk was taehyung's.

was he even realising what he
was telling him? he doubted it,
overthinking questioning everything
whilst basking in the sweet scent of
paranoia. he was walking on a line
with this split thoughts.

any second now, he was sure that
he'd tip.

but as their eyes met and
their gazes held, strong and true,
something past the sense of comfort
and belonging, something past anything
that jeongguk could ever dare hope for...

taehyung gave him a silent message.

beautiful, deafeningly silent words
being exchanged between them,
through their empty, yet heavy gazes.

the twinkle in taehyung's eyes
just confirmed it more so.

he'd meant what he said.

taehyung meant it.

______

"lilly is anne's great granddaughter."
taehyung mused as the little girl
shifted in his lap.

her small head rested on
taehyung's broad shoulder,
shyly ducking her face into
the dip of his neck as her
gaze fluttered over to
the teen, who was also
perched on the edge of the
sofa.

the trio were sat in the lister's
living room, it was small
and ornate- a very
clean and sophisticated family.
jeongguk had a nosy about
here and there, his eyes wandering
over all of the portraits of
anne's supposed children
and grandchildren.

there were
old vintage pictures of her,
her features further accentuated,
contrasted and clear from the
backdrop. jeongguk wasn't quite
accustomed to it yet, had yet
to see her in the present.
the vague brush strokes that
made up her youthful complexion
in the painting that he so excessively
admired, had shifted to become
reality and it only emphasized her
beauty. the bold, communistic
glint in her eye stayed as true as ever,
jeongguk knew that much so. she hadn't
failed with her attention to detail,
the only person lacking was himself
for not noticing it earlier.

he didn't quite know
what the girl thought of
him, nor had he expected
her to be so clingy to taehyung.
it was adorable. he held her
so carefully, she was so small
in his arms.

of course, he didn't quite
know what to expect around
here but this relationship that
taehyung seemed to hold with
anne's family certainly wasn't it.
he hadn't, even in the slightest,
expected him to be so close to her.
so comfortable and caring. it
was foreign, breathtaking even.

to see mr kim giving affection-
well, jeongguk hadn't thought
there was anything on the face of
this earth that could make him
fall even harder for him.

her here he was. nurturing
this beautiful little girl in his arms.

jeongguk hesitated a few
long moments before he tentatively
shifted towards the pair,
placing his backpack down on
the coffee table and giggling
as lilly's chubby hand reached
out to touch his hair.

the teen let her, chuckling
as her pudgy fingers tugged at
his raven strands; her laugh was soft
and shy. ever so cute.

"how old are you, lilly?" jeongguk
smiled softly, tilting his head to
hold her curious stare. the girl's
navy eyes glistened at the question,
her head raising ever so slightly
from where it rested to look at taehyung,
her fingers fiddled with the button
on his shirt as she quietly answered,

"five."

a smile spread across taehyung's
lips as his large hand came to
shift her ruby blonde curls out
of her face. "you're a big girl now,
aren't you lils?" he gave her a soft
chuckle when she gave him a little
nod of response. "i'm surprised
she remembers me... it's been a while."

"how do you know her?"
jeongguk asked, fiddling with
a stray thread on his jeans. it
was evident that they were close,
or had been. otherwise, lily
wouldn't be so clingy, so at ease
with him.

taehyung was so different around
her it was baffling. he was so
gentle and he held her like
she meant a lot to him and he'd do
anything to protect her.

"when i came here to visit
anne a year and a bit ago,
elizabeth had some errands to
run and she asked me to babysit
her with my friend." the older male
ran a large hand through the
girl's hair watching as she fiddled
with his fingers. "their extended
family usually visit around easter time
to see anne so that's why i chose now
to visit because i knew they'd be here."

"friend?"

taehyung seemed to have a lot
of friends. he wondered which
he'd trusted enough to come with
him here, they must have been very
passionate.

"hobi, hobi!" lilly exclaimed,
kicking her legs against the
foot of the sofa with excitement
in her little giggly laugh.

taehyung pulled her closer
with fondness. "you remember
hoseok too, lils?"

"yeah! hobi is very very silly!" she
said happily, snuggling up
closer to taehyung as her firey blue
eyes bore into jeongguk's own.
"hobi had a tea party with me and he
said that mr cuddles was looking
very smart in his bow tie but then
tete said that mr cuddles was
annoying and he preferred mrs
stuffy the rabbit because she wasn't
floppy."

taehyung threw his head back
with laughter as he reminisced,
it was deep and throaty and jeongguk
felt him thinking of those memories,
as though he could see him,
sitting down with her and playing.
it warmed his heart so much he
was sure that it would burst.

"then hobi said that mrs stuffy
has no manners and she's
a bit chubby and she slurps
her tea so we should stan mr cuddles
because he's more fluffy to hold."
she pouted.

jeongguk bit his lip as he
tried not to laugh at the thought
of hoseok fat shaming a teddy bear.

he couldn't help it, he let out a
giggle which turned into a barking
laugh as the girl's eyes lit up brightly.

lilly abruptly stood up off of
the man's lap and clasped her
hands together with delight.
"i need to get something!"
she squealed, before jumping
slightly and sprinting out of the
door with a spring in her step,
her blonde locks bouncing as
she ran off somewhere deeper into
the house.

taehyung sighed and threw his
arm over the sofa, fingers brushing
jeongguk's ear as rested his head
against the headrest and turned
to face him.

"you went with hoseok?" jeongguk
asked shyly, to which taehyung
replied with a silent nod as he stared
ay the younger, an unreadable
expression on his face. the room was
suddenly enveloped in quietness,
jeongguk chose to stare at the rising
whisps of steam that escaped the two
cups of tea that remained untouched
on the coffee table before them.

anne was in her bedroom, elizabeth
had told them that she'd be a few
minutes or so because she was with
her doctor. she'd gone somewhere
after some mandatory pleasantries
that jeongguk actually didn't mind
giving, courtesy of her bright and
heartwarming personality. he wondered
why everyone couldn't have an ounce
of her joy in their life.

he'd certainly do anything for it,
though he knew his joy stemmed
from something far more worthwhile
and authentic.

"i convinced him that he had to
come. not that he was reluctant but
yes, it did take a bit of persuading."

"do you recon anne will remember
you?" jeongguk nervously asked
as he fiddled with his sweater paws.

taehyung didn't reply for a
while and when jeongguk looked
to see why, he found the man's
weighted stare trained on his
lips.

"taehyung?"

"taehyung-?ah."
jeongguk gasped as his waist
was yanked forward till his
torso fell on contact with taehyung's
hip. fuck, that was sudden.

he gulped and tried to regain
him composure but it was a little
difficult with his fingers pressing
imprints into his skin through the
fabric of his hoodie that had ridden
up his slender waist.

his lashes fluttered to reveal
the man gazing at him intently
with that frustratingly hot stare of
his. it'd be the death of him one day.
his pink tongue darted out to flick
over his bottom lip and jeongguk could
see every single feature, every single
familiar crease. to the mole on his nose
to the wrinkle gold encrusted flecks
of coloured ebony that swam about his
irises. his breathe was knocked from
him yet again, to no surprise.

he gripped his jeans till
his knuckles turned white
and his heart started beating
again, racing in his chest when
his teacher slowly leaned forward.

taehyung placed a quick, teasing kiss
to the boys unsuspecting lips.

it was chaste and had barely
lasted a millisecond but it was
enough to send his heart into
overdrive, for butterflies to
flutter about in his tummy and
a blush to consume his heated face.

taehyung, as always, seemed to
be unfazed by this.

"she's a dementia patient,
sweetheart." the older's fingers
were featherlight on his forehead,
tucking away the loose strands of
hair with compassion. "i wouldn't
be surprised if she forgot me."

"i don't think anyone would
forget you." the younger pouted,
pawing at his chest weakly to
get our of the man's firm grasp.

to no avail.

not that jeongguk was complaining
exactly but lilly could walk in any
second and-

"i could say the same about you,
love." taehyung whispered softly,
eyelids heavy as his thumb caressed
the sharp cliff of his cheekbone.

"m'nothing worth remembering,"
jeongguk stammered, air caught in
his parched throat as taehyung yet
again gazed at him.

there was always something behind
his stares. taehyung only ever voiced
half of his thoughts, half of what he
truly wanted to say and half of what
could be said; the rest were
communicated through his eyes
and jeongguk saw what he was
illustrating so clearly it scared him.
he didn't know what he was sharing
but he saw there was emotion and
it was frighteningly attractive that he
didn't hold back. one way or another,
jeongguk saw it, depsite not fully
understanding.

not fully understanding because every
now and then, he simply couldn't
decipher anything. nothing made
any sense.

but here...

something did.

"perhaps that nothing
is everything to me."

there was weight behind
his words again. what was he
even saying? he'd told him
explicitly so why was he struggling
to understand? did taehyung even
understand? it seemed as though
he did, actually.

more so than ever.

"then your priorities are
mighty twisted, sir." the
younger teased, earning
a small pinch on the pudgy
skin on his hip that he yelped
at with glee.

"i'll be the judge of that."
the man scoffed but quickly
cleared his throat as soft footsteps
sounded from down the hallway.

"tete!" lilly shouted as she
skipped into the room with a
piece of paper in her hands,
jeongguk diving to the other end
of the sofa faster than the speed
of light.

"lilly." taehyung smiled.

how the fuck was it that he was
so calm? jeongguk could hear
himself screaming in his skull.

"grand nanny said she's ready to
see you." the girl smiled. "and
i found your painting, I hope
that you still have mine on your
fridge taehyungie, like you said
on face time." she
grinned as she held up a crumpled
piece of paper for the pair to see.

painting? gosh, they even painted
together? how pathetic, jeongguk
was getting jealous of a five year old.

but when his eyes wandered to
the paper that was
perched between her pudgy fingers,
those thoughts seemed to swim away.

it was...

everything.

that would be the word to
describe it for sure.

jeongguk hadn't seen mr kim
paint before. and although it
was only a snapshot, it was enough
to knock the air from his lungs.

it was a small, rushed landscape
of a small blonde girl standing
in a shallow stream, her face was
tilted down towards the trickling
water that raced across her toes,
cheeks rosy and smile as bright as
the sun. foliage grew around, thick,
lush grass in the floodplain and
lilac, riverbank flowers cast their
colourful, pigmented shadows into
the darkened, deeper areas of
the crystal clear waters giving the
whole picture a glowing look, it made
the girl look ethereal. a little angel.
her blonde locks fell in pretty little
ringlets down against her arms as
she enjoyed herself in the summer's
sweltering heat.

her hair shone bright, golden and
gorgeous, a mirror of the little
girl that stood before them.

jeongguk couldn't comprehend it.

he couldn't understand.

how taehyung had so
intricately managed to
capture lilly's beauty.

so exquisitely.

so unique yet he hadn't missed a
detail, he hadn't missed anything.

he was breathtaken.

her eyes, her lips, the
curved outline of her ears
behind the curtain of blonde hair,
even the subtle constellations
of freckles that peppered the bridge
of her rose dusted nose. even the
birth mark at the base of her neck.

he'd caught it all.

and the way he'd shown it...
so stark. brush strokes soft and
careful and placed with caution,
like he had calculated every single
one, every single hue added with
meaning, every change an enhancement,
every contrast a statement and
to anyone that saw it, they wouldn't
know. they wouldn't know because
they didn't know the way that
taehyung's mind worked. what he saw,
how he processed it, illustrated it,
how he added colour to that scrap
piece of paper like he'd done so
million times before to the point of
perfection. jeongguk was beginning.
he was beginning to see.

though he knew that he never fully
would, he saw him through the artwork.

though he wouldn't tell him,
jeongguk saw.

he saw him.

taehyung was so beautiful.

_________

this is slow, I'm sorry 💀

if you wanted to see lilly,
it was the picture from the previous
chapter and are you guys still enjoying this??? 👀💕 I luv u