If there's one thing I can say for sure, is that I hate Volcanos.

For those of you who are inexperienced in the realm of active volcanoes, there's only three words to describe them. Hot, dangerous, and terrifying.

Unluckily for me, I was currently stuck in a shuttle hovering over the top of a massive fiery volcano that was ready to burst. Our original mission had been to purely observe this planet but upon seeing the possibility said planet was about to experience an extinction level event, Jim decided to take measures into his own hands. Rather than standing by and watching a primitive alien race and the native species get wiped out, we were attempting to stop the volcano with a freezing device.

Unfortunately, the device had to be detonated within the volcano in order for it to properly warm.

Which is precisely why my boyfriend of about eight months, Spock, was now wearing a flame and heat retardedend suit with the freezing device in hand.

Over the past many months Spock and I had become a conventional couple. We had gone on countless dates, and I had to say, I had alot of love for thay stoic man. He was always so respectful and never rushed me into anything, unlike other men. Our personalities meshed well together and I was hopefully for the future.

But due to Spock being Spock, it was hard to know or even guess how he felt about me most the time.

"Spock, you sure you don't want me going in there?" I asked, taking a step towards him and readjusting his suit.

"That would be highly illogical seeing as I am already- Spock I was kidding" I interrupted with a kind grin as the shuttle shuddered in the air.

"I'll be monitoring your frequency," I told him and quickly kissed his cheek before joining Sulu in the cockpit.

"I say we get this one done quickly," I said, taking a seat and giving Sulu an anxious grin.

He nodded. "Agreed."

It started off well as we lowered him into the Volcano slowly. Then, the shuttle began to suddenly shudder violently. An alarm went off as the shuttle tried to warn us to get out there.

"We have to bring Spock back up! The ash is destroying the engine coils," Sulu said as he held desperately onto the controls.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of the wire snap.

Spock had fallen.

"Spock!" I yelled as he disappeared from veiw. I felt something in my chest ache at the thought of him getting hurt. Or worse.

"Spock, are you ok?" I asked, fearfully. My heart was thumping in my chest as I waited for his response on the edge of my seat.

"Yes," His familiar voice responded and I breathed a sigh big of relief. "Surprisingly, I am completely fine "

I stood up quickly. "I'm suiting up and going to get him." I announced, but Sulu caught my hand.

"We have to abandon the shuttle, or else we all die anyway," Sulu told me.

"We can't just leave him!" I yelled beginning to feel fear build up in my stomach.

We had been on many missions. Almost all of which were great succeses. But none had been this dangerous.

"Ferris, we don't have a choice," Sulu insisted. The shuttle shuddered again as if to prove a point, and a second alarm went off. I struggled to keep my feet.

I turned on Spock's comlink. "Spock, we are going back to the Enterprise. We will get you back," I told him as Sulu directed the shuttle away from the Volcano that was beginning to gush lava.

I quickly ran and got a swimming suit on but this wasn't any swimsuit, it was a high class scuba suit that would allow us to jump from the shuttle and into the plant's waters where the Enterprise was waiting.

Jim had decided to park under water so that they wouldn't disturb the native race, which wad their primary mission's parameters

"Ferris, you ready?" Sulu asked.

"Yes, let's go" I said, feigning confidence.

Sulu set a course for the ship, and we both went to back of the shuttle and opened the door.

"On three, one... two... three, " Sulu said and we jumped. Plummeting downwards into the blue waters. Surprisingly, the water was relatively warm and with our power steering suits, we got back to the ship in no time.

All the while, I could only think of Spock who was all alone in the middle or a volcano. A anxious, nauseous knit had formed in my stomach as I feared the worst.

Sulu and I both entered the ship and I quickly got out of the scuba suits. I almost sprinted to the bridge where I found Jim sitting in the captain's chair with a worried expression. Jim and Spock had become friends over the past months and he was probably just as worried as I was.

"Ferris, do we have an over channel on Mr. Spock?" Jim asked quickly as I entered.

"The heat is frying his coms, but we still have contact," I answered quickly as I took a seat at a communication panel and set to work. I was normally used as a registered nurse on the Enterpise but my minor in communications allowed me to occasionally work on the bridge when needed.

Jim clicked a button on his control panel, opening a channel with Spock.

"Spock?" He asked loudly.

"I have initiated the freezing device. When the countdown has finished, it should render the volcano inert," Spock said calmly.

He'd set the bomb timer off while he was still inside the volcano?

I sprang up from my seat and stood beside Jim. "Spock, are you crazy? It's going to render you inert too," I told him.

"We need to beam him back!" Jim exclaimed.

Checkov look up, his brows furrowed.

"Sir we can't do zat from here, maybe if we had a direct line of si- hang on wee man," Soctty interrupted. "You're talking about flying over an active volcano. Sir if that thing erupts I can't even guarantee we will withstand the heat,".

"Our shuttle was concealed from the ash cloud but the Enterprise is too large. If you tried a rescue effort it would be revealed to the indigenous species," Spock claimed.

He sounded so calm. He didn't even through least bit worried that a volcano was about to kill him.

It was as if he didn't care that I'd never see him again. That in mere moments I might not here his voice ever again. That we would never hold hands while walking along the Star Fleet campus in the evening.

Something cold settled on my shoulders at the thought. My eyes became unfocused as my jaw clenched gently.

He didn't care.

"You know the rules better than you but there has got to be away," Jim said back into the com.

"None, such a violation woul- shut up Spock! We are trying to save you" Bones said, interrupting Spock. I mentally thanked him.

"Doctor, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few," Spock answered.

"Spock, we are talking about your life," I interceded desperately. There was a tremble in my voice.

" The rules ca---- of---" Spock trailed off as his com link stopped working.

I gripped Jims arm. "Jim, we have to get him out of there," I said, swallowing slowly.

"90 seconds till detonation," Chekov said out loud to the crew.

I wanted to scream.

"If Spock were here and I was there, what would he do?" Jim asked, and I didn't want to even answer.

"He would let you die," Bones replied cooly.

I didn't even try to argue because deep down, I think Bones was right.

Would he have let me die?

Jim sighed, thinking quivkly. "Prepare all stations for lift off," He ordered.

The ship began to hum to life, and the sound of the engines rumbling was a reassurance. The water began to froth around the ship as the energy core ignited.

Spock may not have cared about his life but we did.

The Enterprise gradually lifted up out of the water at an agonizing pace. I gripped the edge of a chair in anticipation. The ship slowly rose higher and soon began to pick up speed.

"Ten seconds till detonation!" Checkov called out.

The Enterprise was nearing the volcano that was now not only gushing lava and smoke, but fiery balls of ash were beginning to soar into the air. I claw of fear trailed down my spine at the sight.

Was he even alive still?

"I got him!" Chekhov exclaimed, cutting through my negative thoughts.

I shared a look with Jim before we started sprinting down to the transport pad. We found Spock there, who appeared puzzled as lazy wisps of smoke curled off of his suit.

"Spock! Are you alright?!" Jim asked expectedly.

"Captain, you allowed them to see our ship," Spock answered.

I quirked a brow in quiet irritation and scoffed.

"Oh, he's fine," Bones said.

I turned and left the room before anything else could be said. A knot of some sort of betrayel filled my stomach.

I paced back to my room, one that was conjoined with Spock's and fell in a slump onto the bed. A bed that Spock and I had shared and normally brought me comfort. But instead it felt cold and unusually hard.

What was with him?

I had put up with him always following the rules, and likewise, he put up with my habit of breaking them. We had never had a real fight, aside from the time he deserted Jim on Delta and I tried to strangle him, but even that could be explained by the space time continuum. He had never even ever risen his voice before at me. Not even after I fed him chocolate (chocolate = crack for vulcans) and he'd gone delirious.

We got along very well most the time and his difference from me were what I liked the most. But after today. After he almost sacrificed himself without so much as a thought towards me...m

I continued to brood until someone entered the room. As expected, it was Spock. Also, as expected, he seemed surprised by my peeved and deflated demeanor.

"Has something upset you?" He asked, walking closer to where sat on the bed.

"Upset is putting it lightly," I replied, not bothering to stand up.

"I misunderstand," He said as his angled brows furrowed.

I willed myself not to snap at him but could feel it coming.

"Of course you do," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

Spock hesitantly took a seat beside me, and I kept my arms crossed, obviously disappointed. He stayed quiet, either trying to deduce why I was upset in his mind or waiting for me to explain.

I sighed audibly through my nose and looked up at him from my position.

"You really don't get it, do you?" I asked quietly.

He remained silent. Most likely still unaware.

I shook my head in dismay. "Figures."

"I don't- You don't what?" I interrupted, sitting up straight. My patience was worn.

"You didn't think I was scared out of mind when we had to leave you today?" I asked, I stood up suddenly. "I though you might be dead and then even when we were doing everything to save you, you were ready to just throw away everything for the sake of rules!"

I had taken a few steps towards the door before turning to look back at him. I was close to tears now.

He opened his mouth but then shut it.

"You didn't care," I said quietly before leaving.

I stayed at my friend Lily's room that night.

We arrived at Earth the next morning.

I was still disappointed. A numbness had spread across my whole body, including my heart.