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as she mourns the loss she never had.
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☆

RED HAIR AND BRIGHT BLUE STAR EYES, wonder written across her features, but she wasn't here for fate or life not even to rot in the dark shine of the moon. She was here because she was "supposed" to be. And what she was supposed to actually be, she wasn't. Dark stars, deadly stars, falling stars, never a shooting star for her wishes were always filled with hopelessness. They called her anything that wasn't bright and filled with gleam. If they knew what the devil was they would call her that too ripping apart the will she had from their God. For the child of crushed stars shouldn't glow as bright as the moon in the night sky. Her glow constantly reminds them of the constellation they failed to connect.

The deity that made her named her had only murmured one word before her death. A sound untranslated in their language, one the magi refused to learn and understand, one pathetic word spilled with venom from what the man taught her. A character made up, a word that they should've wiped from her memory, the character of 星. Roughly translated after a long moment of dread and despair. Her body, her soul, her life would be marked by the name of Hoshi. A single star, a rotten star that chipped and burned every second. An easy excuse to hate her with their wits. An easy excuse not to love her but to ignore her until she was of age of commitment on earth, a terrible excuse to wait until it was their time to consume her power. But to some this excuse wasn't enough or was too much, the magi never had their own personality, their own feelings, they were a collective, a social standard of follow the leader. There were times some magi would stray, allowing themselves to love their leader, to treat Hoshi as a child as a delicate little girl, with auburn hair that reminded them of the sun. For Hoshi as quick as the affection came the quicker the darkness did, gone like a swift smack across the cheek, fast but painful enough to not leave a mark.

However, Hoshi never hated them, she loved the magi, as a child she chased after them to get a speck of physical affection. A hug, a kiss on the cheek as one of them had done once. As it had murmured in her ear "sweetheart or honey". She was a child born defective for not being able to be loved for she had to suffer as a replacement. Hoshi never did well when she was replaced. They wanted the perfect pedestal, the perfect figure, the perfect doll. She was (is) a child shattered under the crest of the moon's weight collapsing like Pluto away from the solar system. Floating into eternal coldness with no sun, bitter and blue a color that never matched her well. As she grew so did her resentment for her mother, the one that left her on this "star", this broken rock to die. She learnt it well, mask your joy and they'll leave you alone, don't make eye contact and they won't make you burn. Finally don't try to look at their face and they won't mess up yours.

"Stay quiet, Stay away, Stay bright but shine dark." A mantra, her mantra crucial to her like water and sun is to plant the only thing she had devoted to her survival.

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As she grew she became quiet allowing the magi to do as they pleased, to rule her land like a governor harshly and strayed from the rest. She perceived control as a punishment as a cruel game played close to the warrior in the sky high enough to destroy them with a shining arrow. Her voice grew as silent as a mouse, from the first time she lived to hear the magi's dehumanizing words about her, the only human that lived with them, the only one that ever would. They had called a seven year-old a sacrifice and they counted to her 16th birthday to finally grow to their full potential, something Nebula hadn't wanted them to do. Something that would ruin the balance of the universe. One of the strayed magi, who refused to be called a magi and rathered that she be called a "nebulae" a word poor Hoshi couldn't pronounce. Nebulae was beautiful. She allowed Hoshi to be a child, until her personality would switch and she would turn into one of them and take the beauty of her joy away.

Roughly two months before Hoshi turned sixteen, the truth came out. Nebulae of Saiph (a name of the colony the magi lived in) told the truth, she had let it slip the reality of the demolishment of Hoshi, the way they would turn her being into stardust and allow it to seep into air and be breathed in by their children to grow into flourished, finally finished stars, able to leave the constellation and grow in other places in and with other stars. That was the first time Hoshi fully understood what powers she had as a star. That was the last time she was able to destroy the trust she had in a magi in her people. They were all against her, she wasn't supposed to win this war let alone this battle with herself. That dreaded magi had weakened her, shown her affection and love she wasn't used to, she had shown her how easy it was for it to make her vulnerable and used.

Used and droughted into a puddle melted down into a black sludge, contorted into a puppet to be controlled for generations. Hoshi never learned to speak up to control her voice to scream the truth out loud for her to turn herself into a dictator, no she was a cowards and the only thing she knew what to do what to deflect and lie and hide, while the fire inside burned and burned waiting to engulf her entirety in flames. So she did what she knew, put on a mask and allowed the magi to believe she was naive, she was pure and innocent. A disguise like her parent before her.

She was a well known devoted person like her mother, her sweet mother who almost died the way she did until her personal fortune came in tune. Cowardly like her father, a man she was never told the story of, only that he was her father, a devil of greed was only half of her. A well devoted coward, that's what she was and what she'll always be. It was the well devoted coward that told her to run, far, far away from her own life, from her own destiny.

Two days before her celebration of death, she engulfed the magi in her flames, by cowardly stealing the light of the moon to escape the murky darkness that surrounded her. Devoted as she left her home leaving behind the stars and the passions. A memory so close and now gone, the second she crash landed in the crater of her fallen dreams.
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【notes】
yes I'm still writing this lol 😹. um im not completely on Wattpad tbh i write and i post so idk when u will get chapter 2 🙁. No dialogue expect for that one like which is important. This chapter is kinda about Hoshis character and how her personality will be like. She very reserved and doesn't trust easy. Oh Uraraka meeting next chapter (we cheered), that's all from me 🤗 bye.

THANK YOU FOR READING
extremely unedited
— merrycookie