Waves

Waves. You show them to people as a gesture of farewell. You drown in them. You get lost in them.
Waves can be so beautiful, but also so completely and utterly terrible.
For me waves are bad. They're bad because my best friend died when I was just past nine that way. Three months before I began my slumber, Allie drowned when her cruise ship sank. I cried for days. Her body was never recovered, but there was still a funeral. I cried at and after her funeral so hard and so much I was dehydrated for a week. There was always a hole in my heart after Allie died, there still is even today.
Why am I telling you this, you ask?
Because that cannot happen anymore.
It cannot happen now that we have no waves to drown in.
But that is beside the point.
The point is that I have been at the tavern with Reuben and the resistance fighters for almost six months now.
To all of you this may seem completely and totally irrelevant, but I promise you, it is in fact relevant.
My birthday is approaching soon and I am only a bit worried.
I fear that if there is a cake it will say two hundred and ten instead of ten, and that worries me. I want to have a tenth birthday. I don't want to skip from single digits to triple digits, I want to live out all the double digits first. I told Reuben of this and he assured me that he would take care of it, so I am hoping that I will not have to skip the double digits.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not fallen into a slumber and my siblings had not died.
I think perhaps, our family would either continue moving frequently or stop moving all together, and I would grow up normally in Montreal. I'd eventually fall in  love and get married and have kids and have a successful career, then I'd retire and watch my children have kids and grow old with whoever I chose to marry. Then I'd die of old age, and that would be that. My life would be over.
But other times I think that I was meant to come to this era and help the resistance fighters. I was meant to live an absurdly long life. I was meant to dwell far longer than others on this planet we call home. I was meant to have red hair and blue eyes, and we were all meant to feel sorrow.
That's what waves are about, don't you see?
Waves are about sorrow, waves are about drowning the sorrow and when the sorrow learns to swim drowning in the sorrow itself.
That's the point.