At first, there was only one of you. I remember your careless words and how alive they made me feel. The thud thud thudding of heart against ribcage were the butterflies in my stomach... Until it grew sour and the sound echoed like the beating of flesh and flesh, tearing each other apart. Leaving bruises and bleeding scars. Yet, still I held on to you, believing you were more than you were. The pedestal I built was so high that at the end, I lost sight of who you are. 

The second, you appeared like a brother in arms. You took up your place beside me and we defended my kingdom together. I understand now, how I took your sword for mine when it wasn't mine for the taking. You stood by me not out of allegiance or oath, you were here for me because you wanted to be. I always thought we were forever. But an eternity of servitude is not the life of many. When you decided you had enough, I saw you ride off into the sunset, believing you would return and never thinking twice. Until night fell and I finally realized. Your sword flashing for another, your chest proud and bare. Yet, I still see us, standing side by side, your back against mine. We'll fight and we'll rage until our hair turns grey. 

Now, most people would have assumed that love only comes once and it is lucky to meet two. This surely is the end of the story. Unfortunately, it is not, for I have many more lessons to learn. 

You came at me with sweet, delicious words. I was so eager, I didn't pause to consider. How about him? How about her? I held you in such high regard, everything else fell away. I lived for you, I breathed your soul. But at the back of my mind, I was always unkind. You are weak, you are foolish, and I am stupid for allowing this. I only want adventure, let's live for danger. We get high and we get wasted, all for a taste of this fantastical heartbreaking lie. 

I had given up all hope at this point, believing to be empty and all out of luck. Because of the song that sang: Love is only for the lucky and the strong. I am neither because it has made me weak, it has made me sick. I have nothing left to give. Whirlwinds of romance, bitter on the left, sweet on the right. Neither a reason for one last fight. 

Throw out all the expectations, fling your theories far and wide. He will not have fingers long and lithe. He will not love snapshots and light. The stories you adore will be his abhorred. And forget animals, to him, they are only fur. It was then you appeared, not a knight on a shining horse. But with thunder and a hurricane, washing away the past and pain. When the storm was over, I couldn't comprehend. How I could love somebody, who was one and the same.