Ever get that feeling like millions of butterflies are fluttering around in your stomach?

Well, I had that feeling right now.

My fingers slowly punched the keys on the library's ancient PC as I put in my username and password. Today, about two and a half weeks after I mailed my confirmation letter to Stanford, an email arrived in my AOL.com inbox, alerting me that my roommate had been picked.

God, I had to admit that I was quite nervous.

However, I wasn't as nervous as I was when I held the Stanford letter in my hands the first time, but this was still pretty nerve-wrecking. I was  going to find out who I was going to live with for the next year of my life, and because my personality frequently clashed with others, I hoped that this person was at least tolerable.

I shakily moved my mouse and clicked onto the red button, opening the results. My eyes flickered over to the survey, which all of the Stanford freshman had to take. Basically, the roommates were given at random; I was only able to choose whether I wanted to have one or two roommates--I chose one roommate. Then, I was ordered to fill out this lame survey, so my roommate and I could learn more about each other. 

My eyes moved  to the top of the survery and went down:

Name: Elise Monroe

Favorite color: Chartreuse

 Now I knew that she has a bad taste for color.

Town: Beverly Hills, California

A loud groan escaped my lips, causing one of the tiny little librarian ladies to rudely shush me and to give me a cold stare. Although I had only read where this Elise Monroe was from, I knew that Beverly Hills was a wealthy town, and therefore, she probably had millions of dollars sitting in a back somewhere. We were probably going to be polar opposites, repelled because of each other's lifestyle differences.

Hobbies: Going to fashion shows, spending time with friends at my local country club, going to the spa, shopping, traveling the world, yachting (on my boat, Elise)

She owned a yacht? I owned a bike.

Siblings/Relatives: I'm an only child, but I'm very close with my cousins. One of my cousins, Nick Monroe, is also going to be attending Stanford University as a freshman this year.

What was something great that happened this week: I sat next to Kim Kardashian at a fashion show, and I talked her out of cutting her hair to get bangs. Bangs--God no!

There was a lot more written, but with each word on the page, my stomach twisted and turned into knots. My roommate was basically a rich, only child, who had no brain cells in her head whatsoever. Unlike her, I had a large family, and I honestly didn't give a damn if my nails were perfectly polished or not. 

We were going to be great friends! Not.

"Hey, congrats on getting into Stanford. Sorry that I hadn't congratulated you in person. I had basketball practice everyday for a week; then I had my final exams. Now, I'm free, so I came to congratulate you," Ash interrupted my thoughts as he took the seat next to me, his voice shaky as the words flew out of his mouth. He was wearing his bright red Nike shorts that fell right above his knee. A thin layer of sweat pooled on his abdomen, and the top of his bright, blond hair stuck to his forehead slightly. He most likely just had his last basketball practice of the season.

Translation of Ash's excuse: You rejected my 'date' awkwardly by running away screaming, "Abs," and I didn't know how to confront you.

"Thank you. I got your flowers and your card; your father also came to see me, and he explained the situation." The ends of my mouth tilted upwards. My hand slowly moved the mouse to click out of the school website. Once I did that, I turned my body towards him, so I could give him eye contact.

Ash smiled back. He sighed loudly--after all, he just had come back from a three hour practice. I could see his chest rapidly pulse with each breath, and the color began returning to his cheeks. For about five minutes, we sat in silence, letting the palpable tension form in the atmosphere. Ash lightly tapped the computer's table with his fingers in a rhythmic tone, his gaze averted.

Tap.Tap.Tap.

How should I start this?

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"So, you're Jefferson Davis' own celebrity, huh?" he chuckled, thankfully choosing to take the risk. As he spoke, his eyes roamed around the room..

Praise the Lord.

"Yeah, guess I am." I forced a chuckle out of myself. For the past three weeks, I had received at least a hundred cards, fifty cakes, thirty-six phone calls, and twenty personal visits congratulating me on my acceptance. Now, I was no longer invisible in school; people pretended to act as if we were best friends. "Don't know why, though."

He pondered a little bit before answering. I could faintly see the bright red fade from his cheeks, which meant that his body was finally resting from the basketball practice. "Our town is proud of you. We don't have much to be proud of here. It's finally nice to see people going places. I mean, what good things do we have to celebrate? I guess there's the new record of five pregnant freshman."

I smiled.

Now, this wasn't a fake smile; it was real. It was nice to know that I was actually setting an example for others. An example other than to get pregnant. An example that brains were equally as important as beauty, if not more. Don't get my wrong —the South was a great place to live, but my town was deemed the worst in the entire state.

"Ash, make that six pregnant, actually. Cece O'Dame's starting to show now."

"Make that eight in our school if you count the sophmore and junior," he replied, his hand running through his drenched hair. He then paused, his tongue licking his bottom lip. "Anyways, not to be noisy, but you looked pretty upset before. Are you okay?"

Okay? No, I wanted to blow my brains out because I would have to live with this brat for an entire year.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My roommate is a rich girl from Beverly Hills, whose," I did the air quote signs with my fingers, "hobbies are going to fashion shows, spending time with friends at my local country club, going to the spa, shopping, traveling the world, yachting.'" I inhaled to calm my anger.

Ash shook his head as he looked towards the ground. "She sounds disgusting."

I nodded in agreement. Now, there was still awkward silence since no one wanted to bring up the whole rejection thing.

After long amounts of time thinking at home, I decided that I should possibly let Ash into my life as a friend. I obviously needed more friends since my only friend was a psychopathic girl, hopelessly in love named Evalyn. She was always there for me, but her short attention span made her a difficult person to talk to; it seemed like she pushed me aside to spend most of her time with Hunter.

"Ash, do you erm," I gulped slightly. My neck turned bright hot as I spoke. To calm my nerves, I began to fiddle with my thumbs. "Do you want to go out for frozen yogurt? My treat since AP's and Finals are finally over, and graduation is next week."

"Yeah, I'm extremely hungry since I had an extra practice during lunch. Not like these abs need all that fatty food though," he joked, poking his abs with his pointer finger.

Boys.

"Let's go, loser." My hand snatched my bookbag off of the chair, and I started walking through the doors of the library.

Hopefully this would go well.

***

My tongue exploded when the strawberry beads bursted in my mouth; I sighed in utter bliss. This frozen yogurt was to die for. Unfortunately, that was my last scoop, so I placed the cup onto the ground and laid down with Ash on the grassy field hidden in the forrest near our houses.

We did go to the yogurt place, and there wasn't one moment of awkward silence. We chatted about everything--from cars to cookies. We got so heated in our discussion that the shop owner demanded that we left. So, we decided to come to the forrest. Surprisingly, both of us had come here to play when we were kids; it was a special place for both of us.

Before my father had to work extra hours at the shop and the farm, he would take me out here to collect bellflowers, also known as campanulas. They were flowers with lilac and long curved petals that droop slightly. My father loved those flowers so much that he named me after them. Nowadays, I couldn't come here often, and I missed my special quality time with Dad. However, when I woke up in the morning sometimes, I would see a small bellflower ontop of my pillow from my dad.

"Love is complicated," Ash spoke in a soft voice. His fingers played with the bright green grass. "I mean, let's take Hunter and Evalyn as an example. Hunter loves Evalyn. He wants to propose to her soon, yet he only has dated three girls his entire life."

Propose?!

Ash probably saw the shock on my face, so he replied quickly, "Shit. I told him I wouldn't tell anyone. Please don't tell Evalyn. He doesn't know what he wants to do. He just loves her." 

My mouth was still open. It was one thing to be in love but to get married at eighteen? Mel did it and see where she ended up. Pregnant and working at a dentist's office for ten bucks an hour while her husband slaved over his work.

I wished I could slap some sense into both of them, but I knew, once Hunter goes on one knee, there was no turning back--Evalyn would say yes.

"I'm never falling in love," I placed my face into my hands, making my voice muffle slightly. "Never. It just ruins things."

Fights. Money problems. Family problems. Loss of dreams. The list went on. Why would I throw everything away for a guy? I'd rather be single and successful than stuck in the South and in love. Love made people vulnerable, and I swore I wouldn't let myself get vulnerable.

Ash's eyes squinted, and his head cocked to one side. His back tensed a little before he answered, "You can't choose what the heart wants."

I could choose what the stomach wants, and I wanted another ice cream.

"I won't listen to my heart."

"Yeah," Ash mumbled, "and I'll stop rain from falling."

I twirled a lilac top of the bellflower in my hands. I felt the warmth of the love from my father travel through my body. For some reason, the bellflower just made this bubbling feeling erupt from my soul; it was like all the wonderful memories of my childhood were kept in that flower.

"Like you know everything about love." I smiled back at him. He was being way too serious for my liking right now. I placed the bellflower in my nest of a hair. "Have you been in love yet?"

"Well...I'm falling for someone..not in love yet. Maybe soon though." He gingerly ripped another bellflower from a bush and placed it in my hair.

Good for him. He deserved to be in love, and whoever the lucky girl was, I hoped she knew what a catch Ash was.

And with that, I ended the conversation and lied down once again, enjoying the rays of the sun and the beauty of the environment around me.