]Dovahkiin's POV[
So me and Kenny are a thing now. How'd we settle that? Definitely not by making out more. Ya I know we're only in 4th grade but I think we're gonna last.

Oh ya, Randy came up and talked to me taught me the "Sneaky squeaker" which is another 'spell' aka a fart. He then sent me to investigate the 'Taco Bell' which I don't know why he doesn't realize is the UFO.

But whatever. What's important is that I get this information about how these government dudes are gonna blow up like half of South Park. Why? Because apparently the UFO leaked a bunch of goo that turns people into fucking Nazi Zombies, because why not!

Oh ya and ears. Plus a tail. And even more hyped up senses. They are hard to hide. Well not the senses but tail and ears? Uh ya kind hard.

I just gotta make sure no one pulls down my hood or pats my back. Hiding my tail in my shirt probably wasn't the best idea but cramming it into my pants didn't sound very comfortable.

I also used my teleporting alien ass thing. Apparently I can bring people with me. Had to explain that to Kenny.

Kenny and I battle through the nazi zombie guys and head over to the PSA building thing cause I don't know why there are people there but there are. I give it to Randy.

He plays it and everyone who is in the room listens. However Randy didn't rewind all the way. Still got the blow up most of the town part but ya.

"This isn't an ordinary Taco Bell their building. This is some sort of Mega Taco Bell!" Randy says beginning to ramble on about Doritos tacos and allowing them to take over South Park yada yada yada.

I pretty much zoned out from the moment he said it was just a massive Taco Bell. Me and Kenny leave and head toward Kupa Keep.

"Kenny why are half the people in this town oblivious and or idiotic?" I ask.

"Dunno" he respond with a shrug. He looks up at the sky and stops. He looks to be in thought.

"Uh Ken?"

"Wanna pass by Kyle's and yell 'Style is cannon' just to fuck with them?" Kenny asks.

I smirk and reply with "Hell ya"

We go to Kyle's house and see that he's beginning to lead his elves out of their kingdom.

"Wait how about you do the Style thing and I'll do the asdf movie thing where I just run by and say 'you're fat'" I say.

"Sure we're both gonna have to be really fast though let's do this.

->->Kyle's POV<-<-
"So let's get back the stick!" I say and turn around. Just as I turn around Kenny- ah hem- Princess Kenny, runs by chanting "STYLE IS CANNON! STYLE IS CANNON!"

"What the fu-" before Stan can finish his statement Dovahkiin also runs by.

"YYYYOU'RE FAT!"

"I LIKE TRAINS!" I yell after them. Sadly a train didn't hit them. I can hear them laughing as they run off towards their stupid little kingdom ruled by Wizard Fat ass.

"W-w-what the f-fuck was that?" Jimmy questions.

"Kenkiin"  Stan and I say simultaneously.

"Any ways let's go." I say as we head off towards the school.

||||||||||||||TIME SKIP||||||||||||||

|•|Princess Kenny's POV|•|
So Dovahkiin is a commander now. Sweet. That means I'm dating a commander. Though I guess a princess should date a prince but no matter. I don't live by the rules.

Also apparently the elves are hiding the stick in the school so we're at the school now.

"DEFENDERS OF FREEDOM!" Wizard Eric yells. "I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COURAGE AND YOUR AUDACITIES IN JOINING OUR FIGHT!"

"To night we are no longer the humans or the goths. Tonight we UNITE AS ONE!" Eric continues.

"I feel like such a homo sapient right now." Michael complains. DAFQ does that mean?

"THE HUMANS ARE HERE!" An elf yells as another blew there horn. Hehe blew their horn hehe. I'm so preverted.

"Ooo they blew their horn! Blow ours Butters!" Cartman orders. I manage to stifle my giggles. Butters does as he's ordered and blows our horn. "GUYS FLANK LEFT! GOTH KIDS PREPARE TO ATTACK FROM BEHIND!"

We all rush forward and begin our attack. "They've barricaded the entrance. The elves are up to their old Jew tricks again! Find another way in. Take the barricade out from behind." Cartman orders.

Me, Dovahkiin, and Butters nod and head towards the back of the school.

"Ow! I heart my fucking ankle! Ow it hurts like shit!" Pete wines

"Butters." Dovahkiin says gesturing over to Pete. Butters nods and helps Pete.

"Hey I'm healed, except on the inside." Pete says shocked. Oh well uh ok. "We locked it so nobody else could get in. Here." Pete informs us as he unlocks the door.

"I'm guessing this is all you're gonna do?" Dovahkiin questions.

"We cleared the way to the door, you do the rest." Henrietta replies.

"Go kick some ass Sir dickwad." Michael says waving us off. At least he remembers not to call him Douchebag in any way shape or form.

"K. Let's go guys." Dovahkiin says walking into the cafeteria.

||||||||MINI TIME SKIP||||||||

~Butters' POV~
Dovahkiin, Kenny and I manage to make it through to the basement. Kyle has been trying to get us to switch over. Well he's been trying to get either Dovahkiin to switch over and/or get us to surrender.

"Stay back you guys! Something is seriously wrong with the hall monitors!" Eric warns us as we come down the stairs.

"Help.... Please"

"That's Gary Nelson!" I say as I run over to try and help him.

"Don't touch him he's ginger!" Eric scolds.

We ignore him and gather around him anyways. "We came to school the day after the earthquake to report for duty." He informs us. "We didn't know school had been cancelled!"

He pauses to cough a little. "We heard a sound from down here, found this green goo. It was everywhere. It... Changed the other hallway monitors."

"Serves you right for being a pansy ass hallway monitor in the first place." Eric counters.

"Dude not cool." Dovahkiin retorts.

"Something in the goo...it.... It..." Gary says as he struggles to walk away. However when he turns around he starts speaking another language.

"AHGGAHG! SOME HOW THAT GOO MAKES HALLWAY MONITORS EVEN LAMER!" The grand wizard says as he runs back up the stairs.

"Wow he can actually run. Amazing." Dovahkiin says as he looks up the stairs. Kenny and I laugh in response. The zombie Gary starts to walk towards us. "Woah woah woah ok fight time!" Dovahkiin says as he begins to attack.

||Don't forget to bring a towel||

]Dovahkiin's POV[
We make it through the basement and back into one of the hallways. We go into the main entrance area to be met by Stan.

"We're breached! Get to your battle stations!" Stan orders as he runs up to some catapult looking things.
"Hey Dovahkiin! Let's see how you like some flaming hot dog shit!"

"Umm ya no thank you!" I say as I dodged the one he just hurled at me. I kick the Barrier and it breaks in half and hits one of the elves on the other side.

"Damn it elves hold the line!" Stan orders as he hurls more dog crap at us. I see one of the weird alien things and teleport us up to the banister. "Woah what was that? You can't hide Dovahkiin!"

We then proceed to sneak down to the other side. "There they are!" Stan says. "I've got plenty of dog shit DovahDick"

"Oh wooow real clever." I comment as I kick the barrier. Unfortunately this ones made of metal so it doesn't do shit. Then I get an idea. I squish myself up against the barrier as much as I can.

He hits it, along with hitting Butters as well. "Alright now that your barrier is on fire..." I say as I use the cup o' spell on it. It blows up knocking out the elves that were holding it up. "... Kaboom!"

"This isn't over!" Stan says as he runs away.

"Good work! Dovahdick man the catapult and let our men threw the front door. Everyone fall in!" The wizard orders.

"Oh you heard that did you? Fantastic!" I say sarcastically. I fire the catapult at the door setting the barrier on fire. Once I do that I walk over to the door to go after Stan.

"Hey wait a minute! Use your magic to take out the barrier!"

"You do it grand wizard fat ass!" I retort. "Im a thief remember? Magic is not my specialty!"

"It's not supposed to be but you're still really good at it!" Butters counters.

"Whose side are you on?" I retort as I open the door. "Later fat ass!"

"I'm not fat!"I attempt to open the door. Locked. Ok this is why I carry around a paper clip."Ha! See you need Craig to open the door for you!"

And done! "Nope. Again I'm a thief." I respond as I open the door.  We go through to be met by Stan's back and elves going up the stairs.

"This ends here." Stan says as he turns around. "Wolf brother hear my call!" He then whistles.

"Geeze ok loud!" I say as a dog walks up to Stan's side.

"Huh? Oh right sorry dude."
|||||||||Kenny can't die|||||||||

"I'm pretty sure it ends somewhere up there." I say with a smirk as Stan 'dies'

We head up there, help Tweek, battle through all the elves until we make it to the fourth grade class room.

Cartman opens the door and says "Hand over the stick Jew King."

"The stick doesn't belong to a fat, RACIST, LIAR!" Kyle yells back.

"Alright Kyle you fucking asked for it. Go ahead and kick his as Dovahkiin."

"Dov, Cartman is using you! Can't you see it? He's a manipulator!"

"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE DOVAHKIIN PICKED US AS FRIENDS OVER YOU KYLE!"

"You've got one last chance Dov, turn around and fight Cartman! Do the right thing!" The right thing?

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

<-<-Kyle's POV->->
Dovahkiin starts to sway back and forth."Dovahkiin? You alright dude?"

"The right thing" he murmurs.

"Kyle what the fuck did you do?!?" Cartman yells at me.

"I didn't do anything!"

Suddenly Dovahkiin just falls backwards. "DOVAH!" Kenny yells and pushed past Cartman and kneels down next to Dov.

Butters attempts to heal Dovahkiin with his healing touch but it's not working. He attempts to use a revive but that doesn't work with. Probably because he legit passed out.

"Woah the hell happened here?" One of the goth kids questions as they walk in. I think his name is Pete.

"Dumbasses Pete that's-oh shit." Another goth says coming in. He looks at the desks. "Hey you said that he was hiding the stupid stick in his desk right?"

"Yaa and?" Cartman responds.

"Our desks don't have insides." I think his name is Michael says.

"What?" Cartman asks.

"Hey that's right! Desks at this school just have table tops." The girl goth Henrietta informs.

"But Twitter said-"

"This desk has writing on it though." The little goth, Firkle says.

"Check my locker." Michael reads.

"Whose desk is that?" I ask.

"That's... That's Clyde's desk." Cartman responds.

"Ok that's fucking fabulous but if you haven't noticed, my fucking boyfriend has passed out!" Kenny yells at us.

"Boyfriend?" Everyone who wasn't at the sleepover question.

"Ya fucking deal with it!" Kenny yells at them.

"Well you should probably take him home considering he's passed the fuck out." Pete says.

"Well alright. Come on Kenny let's go." Butters says grabbing onto his legs.

"Holy fucking heavy!" Kenny says as he attempts to lift him.

"Ugh here let's help them out Pete. We've got nothing better to do." Michael says. He and Pete then grab a limb each, while Kenny does the same.

"Holy crap how can he be this heavy and not be really fat?" Pete complains as they pick him up and start moving out the door.

"Probably muscle." Kenny responds.

As they head to Dovahkiin's house, we head for Clyde's locker, picking up Stan on the way. Once there, Craig opens the locker and pulls out a lap top. We open it and find that it's a video of Clyde.

"He has the stick!" Cartman yells.

Clyde then goes on about being kicked out of Kupa Keep and blaming Dovahkiin. He also talks about making his own kingdom and raising an army using the green stuff. After the Video we head toward his house.

Once in Clyde's backyard we find a massive, kinda cool looking, base. Craig disappeared somewhere too. Weird he's not known for being chicken.

"Come and get it losers!" Clyde says laughing evilly.

"You can't do that Clyde you're lost in time and space!" Cartman yells.

"No I'm not!"

"Ya you are asshole!"

"Hey wait where's douchebag?"

"His name is Dovahkinn and he's Uhhh sick!" Stan yells back.

"What ever. Army of darkness! Defend the fortress!" A bunch of kids come out along with...

"Craig? Craig your on my side!" Cartman yells.

"How'd he get ahead of us?" Henrietta questions.

"You don't have authority anymore, the keeper of the stick said so." Craig responds.

"This can't be happening." I say.

"GOD DAMMIT I DO TO HAVE AUTHORITY!" Cartman yells

"Sorry warriors and wizards, I'd love to invite you into my fortress of Darkness but I'm afraid you're TOO LATE!" Clyde announces. As if we'd join him.

"Too late? What'd you mean we're too late?" Stan asks.

"Oh shit it's passed our bed time." Cartman says checking his phone.

"Dude I'm gonna get it!" I cry as we all run off towards our homes.

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An: So sorry it took so long but I'm lazy, and have lots of things to keep up with.

But here you are with a long chapter that hopefully you enjoyed. If you did you should totally smash that vote button with your foot and type a comment with your toes.

And with that I'll see you guys later. Au revoir little biscuits!
✏️Cookie out🖍