]Dovahkiin/D's POV[
What just happened? What just went up my ass? WHY CANT I FUCKING TALK AGAIN!?

"Is this your first time getting Probed?" Some guy next to me asks who also has his butt exposed to the weird thing that shoved something up my ass. Well tried.

I simply stare at him before he continues. "Ya it's a pain. But this is the kinda stuff you gotta put up with living in a quiet little mountain town. At least we don't have to deal with traffic."

"ID RATHER DEAL WITH FUCKING TRAFFIC THAN GET PROBED!" I yell wiggling out of the restrains and mulling up my pants. I think I'm scarred for life.

"Hey you broke free! Kid you have incredible control over your ass hole! Get me loose too!"

"Uhhh o-WHAT THE FUCK!" I yell as a weird satellite dish looking thing comes up out of my ass and points toward an alien thingy.

"You must've broke off part of the probe and now you can control it with your sphincter muscles. Pretty cool."

I look at the alien thingy on the wall and then outside this barrier thing and suddenly I'm there. "What the- oh fuck it I'm on a UFO!" I say walking over the edge of this guys barrier thing.

"I'm surrounded by some sort of force field. Go find a way to shut it off."

"Ya kinda noticed that." I mumble walking out of the room.

"Moo moo moo moo moo!" An alien shouts running over and pressing some button. Im gonna have to fight all these aliens aren't I?

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Ok let's recap what's happened tonight!
Let's see I've found out I'm a total freak, I got kidnaped and probed by aliens, I can now control said probe with my ass hole, I've fought a bunch of aliens, fought a weird German zombie hobo, and I crashed a UFO. Oh ya I also befriended Randy Marsh and watched him get probed because of my incompetence when It comes to memory games.

Wow, no wonder I'm so tiered! Aw fuck I got school tomorrow too! Unless this town actually realizes 'Oh hey there's pieces of UFO every where! We probably should cancel school! For At least today!'

Whatever. I'm sleeping.

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"D!D! It's terrible! Have you seen the news?! Here look!" The wizard King yells at me tuning into my living room in his outfit. Is that aloud at school?

I look over at the news report and see how it's about there being no school due to an earth quake last night, and a new Taco Bell is being made where the mall used to be and the crashed UFO is now. Except they seem to ignore the UFO? Alright sure seems legit! Not.

"Oops." I say rubbing the back of my head.

"Oops? D what did you do?!?"

"I may or may not have crashed a UFO last night.... Into the South Park mall... Oops." I explain.

"Wha- God fucking damn it D! Oh well whatever that's not important right now! The elves cheated and took the stick last night! Their hiding out in the school!"

"How is- never mind I've got it." I say going up stairs and into my room with Cartman following. Apparently everyone calls him by his last name. Dunno why.

"D wait. We can't just go in and do this. We need reinforcements. I need you to go recruit the goths."

"The goths? Uh ok. Where are they." I ask as I look around for all my gear.

"Princess Kenny will show you. KENNY!" The wizard shouts down the stairs.

"IM NOT JUST COMING INTO A HOUSE I- " Kenny begins to shout before being cut off by my mom. Oh great.

"Oh hello! You must be one of my little man's friends! I think I saw a fat one already come in. But that's ok. You can too!" 

"Oh, ok." I hear Kenny say.

"Alright well I'm going back to Kupa Keep. See ya losers." Cartman says walking down stairs.

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|•|Princess Kenny's POV|•|
"Asshole." I mumble as the wizard King goes down stairs. I turn over towards D and holy crap. How can an eight year old have such hot sexy delicious abs? God I'm so gay for him.

D finished putting on his shirt and looks over at me. "Hey. You alright?" He asks looking at me.

"Ya I'm fuck- Fine! I'm fine! He he he!" I say nervous blushing profusely and laughing awkwardly.

"Oookaaaayy. Right well let's go."

"Right." I say as we walk down stairs together.

"Bye sweet heart have fun! And remember, be back before dark!" D's mother calls.

"Bye." D replies half heartedly.

"You weren't kidding when you said they avoided saying your name." I say looking back at him. "Like when she came to the door she didn't even sa-"

"She said "my little man's friend" right?"
He asks looking at me.

"Y-yeah. How'd you know that?"

"I heard. I have really good hearing." D replies.

"Oh ok. Well here we are." I say walking over towards the gate to where the goths hang out.

"I thought we were gonna recruit the goths?" D questions.

"We are." I say pulling out the piece of paper Cartman gave me. I hand it to D and we walk in over toward the goths.

"Whose that?"The goth with the red hair asks. I think his name is Pete.

"I think it's that new kid everyone is talking about." The chick Henrietta replies.

"Beat it new kid this area is restricted for goths only." Michael the eldest says.

"Here." D says ignoring them and handing the paper to Pete. He reads it passes it to Henrietta,and she passes it over to Michael.

"What's this?" Michael questions looking at it.

"Read it." D says coldly.

"Join the battle of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep to fight the wicked elves. All recruits welcome." Michael reads. "Sorry Froto we don't play Dungeons and Douchebags."

Oh no. He said Douchebags. I look over at D and see him clench his fist.

"Yeah beat it new kid. You can fuck off too Kenny." Pete says flipping his hair out of his face.

"Aw, come on, let's do it! We never do anything!" The kindergartener goth, Firkle complains.

"NO WAY! WE CAN'T DO WHAT THIS KID ASKS US TO DO! HE'S A CONFORMIST!" Michael counters. "Look at his clothes and his hair!"

"Yeah tell you what new kid, get the right clothes and some cigarettes and coffee and then talk to us again." Pete says.

"Yeah! If you wanna prove that you aren't a conformist then tall to us again." Michael says.

"No." D responds crossing his arms.

"No?" Henrietta questions. "What do you mean no? If your not gonna do it and continue being a fucking conformist then leave."

"No."

"Come on D let's just-" I begin before D once again says "No."

"Dude fuck off. We already told you we aren't gonna play your stupid game."

"Well then looks like I'm not leaving, because I refuse to go on your little bull shit quest just so you guys can consider helping us out." D responds coldly. He sits down criss-cross and glares at the goths.

Pete looks at D closer and his eyes widen. He looks over at his fellow goths and stutters slightly, "M-Maybe we should do it. J-Just to get these douchebags to leave us alone."

The moment I heard Pete say that I was pretty shocked. The other goths seemed to be too, especially Michael. Then I realized he included 'Douchebag' in his sentence and quickly looked over at D.

He was gritting his teeth now and growled lowly at Pete. Pete backed away slightly and gulped.

"Hey what's up with him?" Firkle questions pointing at D.

"He uh doesn't like the word... Douchebag." I respond whispering the word douchebag. However my attempt at shushing it was in vain as D quickly stands up and walks away.

"Well looks like we don't have to do that stupid game now." Henrietta says looking in the direction D went. " Unless you plan on sta-" she's cut off by D coming back over.

"Alright get up." D says surprisingly calm. A little too calm.

"Huh? No way man. We alre-" Michael begins to counter before D cuts him of with a glare and a growl. "Alright geeze, we're getting up!"

"Good. Let's g-"

"New kid! Come with us willingly or we'll have to fight you. But just so you know a fight in this stage of the game is pointless." An elf says as he walks over to us with other elves.

"*sigh* Fine. You guys stay here. I'll be right back. Princess Kenny you should probably go back to Kupa Keep." D says clearly annoyed. The goths and I nod accepting our orders.

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<-<-Kyle's POV->->
So Kenny has texted me yesterday saying that he'd found his, and I quote, "hot sexy soul mate whose probably the most beautiful thing on this planet." I was kinda shocked to find out it was a guy. The new kid none the less. I haven't even seen him.

All I know is that he made one of my elven citizens wet himself and that he beat up a bunch of my other citizens. I'm kinda expecting to see a really tall muscular guy. Well tall and muscular for a fourth grader. Maybe he has gotten held back a year or two or something.

Kenny just texted me updating me on what happened this morning. He also said not to call him Douchebag. I kinda feel bad for taking this new kid away from Kenny. Well not like I'm gonna start dating him but like I'm going to try and get him to join the elves.

"My lord, we have brought the new kid." One of the elves I sent out to get him says bowing.

"Good, bring him to m-" I begin before getting cut off by some guy I guess is the new kid.

"Alright what the hell do you want?" He questions bitterly.

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END OF CHAPTER 6
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An: Sorry for the wait! I'm lazy and school and shit and Halloween and ARVKTDVJRN.

So on that note. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and if ya did, then you should totally smack that vote button with your toe. Comments about commenty things are also apricots. Yes I purposely said apricots just to confuse you. Well actually I was trying to spell appreciated but apricots came up in the suggestion thingy so I just said "sure why not."

But anyways I hope you guys are Enjoying my story and or stories. Ah who am I kidding my other books are shit. They started out nice and then Poo.

But not this book! Because this is SPARTA! Idk what I was gonna say, but hey really long authors note that no one will read!

So I'll see ya biscuits laters. Au revoir little biscuits!
Cookie out~