|•|Kenny's POV|•|
"We were supposed to be a duo remember Tweek??" Craig yells at him.

"Yeah, I remember! So, when I walked out of Coon and Friends, you should've walked out with me!" Tweek yells back.

"I like Coon and Friends!" Craig argues.

"Because you had your own movies"

"Super Craig had to have movies before Wonder Tweek was introduced! It made no sense otherwise!" Honestly got to agree with that but that doesn't mean he couldn't get a movie what so ever.

"Your whole group makes no sense!" Tweek yells, voice starting to sound worn from yelling. Well more so than usual that is.

Honestly so far this has just been a bitching match between the two of them.

I think they're waiting for fucking Coon to get here. I still can't believe they actually broke up because of this like that's a bit much. Which reminds me I still need to charge my phone and text Dovahkiin before-

"Nope no fucking way I'm not doing this!" Oh god dammit.

"Uh oh." Both Craig and Kyle say.

"Yeah uh oh. You did not recruit my fucking boyfriend assholes!" I yell at them.

"Alpha Wolf don't you dare dip out on us just for Mysterion!" Super Craig yells at Dova as the Coon drags him over. Well tries to. Dovahkiin is really fighting against him.

"Oh no Im fucking leaving your asses." He says still fighting against Cartman.

"You fucking can't! He's one of your weaknesses! You'd have to come up with another Kryptonite!" Kyle yells at him.

"Fucking What?" I yell glaring at both of them.

"That was yours and Clyde's idea dammit and Clyde wouldn't let me just choose Aliens and made me do both! Beside you're technically an alien in this game and I'm on the same side as you!"

"You are not fucking dipping out on us for fucking Freedom Pals, just cause your boyfriend is there!Craig didn't!" Cartman argues.

"Wait are you fucking kidding me? THAT'S why you guys broke up?!?" He says, suddenly no longer resisting Cartman and causing fatass to fall. He then walks over to us and looks between the two Ex's.

"I told you, he walked out on me!"

"Gah! I walked out on you?! You didn't take my side when I needed your support!"

"Oh my god you two are so fucking stupid!" Dovahkiin face palms.

"They really are." I agree.

"Hey!" They both yell glaring at both me and Dovahkiin.

"Well what the fuck are you gonna do Mysterion? You're in the same position now!" Tweek asks crossing his arms.

"I'm gonna take my boyfriend back thank you very much!"

"Oh no you're not! Alpha Wolf came to us and he's going to stick with us and we will have the better franchise!" Cartman says.

"Excuse me?" I turn my gaze to Dova.

"I didn't know what the fuck was going on or where anyone was and you weren't answering my texts or calls!"

"My phone died! And why the hell did you go to fucking Cartman in the first place!?"

"Because it's usually Cartman that initiates this shit!" I guess he's got a point there but why the he'll didn't he like try to find me?

"Oh great now they've started up. I knew this was going to happen." Kyle sighs.

"Wait a minute hold the fuck up that's right! Why the hell didn't any of you tell me!?" He glares at them.

"Because I fucking knew you'd dip out on us the moment you found out Kenny was on the other team! I'm sorry that I didn't want to lose another person I cared about to the god damn Freedom Pals!" Craig yells at him.

"Ditto." Kyle mumbles.

"Oh please Craig if you really cared about me you would have come with me!" Tweek yells at him.

"He didn't go because unlike you he's not a traitor Tweek! And now you're a part of a group of super traitors!" The coon responds.

"This was started by you! By people who thought there should be preferential treatment to certain heroes and now you're peer pressuring my fucking boyfriend!" I yell back at Cartman.

"You're peer pressuring him too asshole! And we aren't the ones who walked out of the fucking franchise Mysterion!" He responds.

Timmy then steps in and supposedly begins talking to the coon telepathically.

"Get our of my head Timmy.... He just called us Douchebags, in our mind." Oh now he's trying to trigger Dova. And of fucking course it's actually working. I saw that fucking twitch of the ear.

"He did?" Kyle asks.

"Alright you son of a bitch! Aaaagh!" The coon charges only for Timmy to teleport down the street. Not sure how he's actually able to do that but then again the other guys can do the same kind of shit for some reason soooo...

"Timmy!"

"Mother Fucker! Coon Friends, deal with these assholes!" Cartman yells before running down the street after him. Wow it can run.

"Alright fine but I'm not hitting my boyfriend." Dova huffs.

"Well he is your Kryptonite." Kyle says.

"We're talking about this later." I say to Dova. "Oh also Alpha Wolf? Sorry about this."

"What?" He tilts his head before I unleash a series of kicks on him.

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]Dovahkiin's POV[

So I'm pretty pissed off right now despite winning that fight. Also my jaw hurts like shit. Along with every other place that Kenny hit me. I'm thankful that he avoided the nether regions at least. He also said sorry anytime he was hitting me.

Mosquito had shown up shortly after the fight began and Fast Past got here right at the end, helping the others finish off Mysterion. Like I had said I refused to hit him so I just stood in the corner and took the time to somewhat collect my thoughts.

The Freedom Pals left after we defeated them and Kenny mouthed another 'I'm sorry' before leaving.

"Guess Mysterion doesn't hold back on anyone does he?" I say half heatedly, rubbing my probably bruised jaw.

"Apparently not. I kinda thought he would at least a little on you but I guess not." Kyle says.

I just hum and nod. "Hey wait, what happened to coon?" Craig asks looking around

"Oh shit come on." Kyle says, leading us down the street to where Cartman went.

"Coon what happened?" Clyde asks.

"Timmy got away?" Kyle asks.

"He-He completely raped my mind." He responds getting up slowly. Oh please.

"You ok?" Jimmy asks.

"No seriously guys, he fucked the shit out of my brains."

"He clearly didn't because it's still coming out of your mouth." I grumble, leaning against the wall.

"Alpha Wolf I don't need your salt right now please. Agh... I grabbed him, we fought for a little bit, but his mental powers are too strong." Coon explains.

"So we did all of that for nothing?" Clyde asks.

"Fucking great." I huff.

"Not quite," Coon says pulling out a phone "I got Timmy's cell phone."

"You did?" Craig questions a bit surprised.

"There's sure to be a lead on there!" Clyde says.

"Let's get that back to base! Super Craig can analyze it." Kyle says. The others begin to leave but Craig stops.

"Dova? You coming." I look over to him and sigh.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm coming." I say kicking off the wall and walking along side him.

"Look man I'm sorry about not telling you about the whole Freedom Pals thing."

"I know Craig." I sigh "I get it. I know you're break up with Tweek has kinda hit you hard even if you claim it hasn't." I say emphasizing the 'even' to shut down his denial ahead of time.

"Thanks Dovahkiin. I hope you and Kenny don't have to go through the same shit." He says throwing an arm over my shoulder and shaking me a bit.

"Nah I think we'll be fine." I say smiling a bit.

We reach the Coon lair and Super Craig starts 'analyzing Timmy's phone.' In other words he's looking at it through a microscope which seems like it'd hider the searching more than help it.

After a while of 'analyzing' the Coon asks him what he's found.

"Timmy's phone has a bunch of notes in it. Something about a girl who has information about all the criminals in town." Craig responds.

"What girl?" Cartman asks.

"It just says 'find the girl with the Dick tattoo.'"

"What girl in town has a dick tattoo?" Clyde questions

"Sounds like either a slut or a stripper." I comment.

"You might be right Alpha Wolf. Either way the Freedom Pals must think that SHE'S the key to finding the missing cats." Cartman says.

"If the Freedom Pals find her before we do they'll get the hundred dollar reward." Kyle says.

Oh is that what we're doing? Trying to find a cat just for $100? I literally got that for my birthday from my Aunt. Granted she's rich as hell and that's basically the same as a normal person giving me five dollars to her but still. Whatever, Cartman's talking about how we can't let the Freedom Pals have a good franchise or something. They don't actually think we can start up an actual superhero franchise do they?

"Then we have to find the girl with the tattoo TONIGHT." Jimmy says.

"Fast pass is right. We all have to sneak out of our house tonight and search the entire town." Craig says.

"What do you say Dov? You up for it?" Kyle asks me.

I let out a huff and lean my head back closing my eyes. I'm mean it's not like I'll be able to sleep anyways since my parents will probably be having more screaming matches.

"Look dude I realize you're kinda pissed off right now but come on." Clyde says.

"Go easy on him you guys. He's had a tough life. When he was six years old-"

"Cartman shut the fuck up right now before I punch you in the nose." I warn.

He backs away from me slightly before continuing "-his dad fucked his mom."

"What?" Kyle asks.

"It's his stupid ass fucking backstory for me." I say growling at Cartman.

"Dovahkiin don't say that about your life. I'm sorry I had to tell them but it was time they learned."

"I'm going to slit your throat in your sleep." I say growling more.

Cartman just backs further away from me before continuing on "You see Dovahkiin doesn't trust anyone because his dad fucked his mom and he couldn't do anything about it."

"That doesn't make any sense." Kyle says.

"I know. How could the person you trust do that to the only other person you love?"

"Cartman, everyone's dad fucked everyone's mom."

"Hah?" Cartman says clearly confused.

"That's how it works stupid! Our Dads fuck our Moms." Kyle explains.

"And this is why you don't fall asleep during Sex Ed." Craig comments.

"Oh right, so does that mean your dad fucked your mom Kyle? Huh?!"

"I knew you were stupid but I didn't think you were this stupid." I grumble rubbing my temple.

"YES! My dad fucked my mom! That's why I'M HERE!" Kyle yells.

"Don't steal his backstory dude, that's not cool." Coon gestures with his arm towards me.

"That's not my fucking backstory fatass." I growl making him bring his arm back to his chest.

"YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID! EVERY HUMAN ALIVE ON EARTH HAD A DAD WHO FUCKED THEIR MOM AND-" Kyle yells.

"STOP! Stop! This is not what's important right now. We need to find the lady with the Dick tattoo!" Clyde cuts him off.

"Right. Let's get home so we can prepare for our evening missions." Craig agrees.

"I mean I'm heading over to talk to Kenny first but sure." I say shrugging.

"Don't you dare fucking-" coon starts.

"Fucking chill I'm not betraying your asses I'm just making sure I don't lose my boyfriend over this shit." I say.

"Alright Fine. But just to be safe I'm going to send one of the Coon Friends over to assist you on tonight's mission."

"Yeah sure whatever." I say.

"Alright, Let's go Coon Friends!" Jimmy says and we all start up the stairs.

"He's such a fucking idiot." Kyle yells once more.

"It's ok, calm down." Craig says.

"Oh no it's fucking not. I really want to rip him a new fucking asshole right now." I growl out.

"Dova no." Craig says.

"Dova yes." Kyle says. "Fucking do it dude."

"Oh come on Kyle don't encourage him." Clyde scolds.

"Alright well I'm gonna go to Kenny's and talk shit out with him now. And complain about how fucking hard he kicks." I say rubbing my jaw.

"Alright see ya dude." Kyle waves.

"Bye Dova" Clyde says.

"See you l-later Dovahkiin. And good luck" says saluting me.

"Go on and run home to your master mutt butt!" Craig shoos me off.

"Fuck you!" I say walking backwards to flip him off.

"Fuck you too mutt butt!" He says flipping me off as well and laughing. I just shake my head and continue my route to Ken's.

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END OF CHAPTER FIVE
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AN: I seriously love how much you guys enjoy this even though I totally cliffhangered you guys last time. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter just as much as the last.

The next one is the second longest so far and it was very fun to write ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You'll see why next week. Heck you won't even need to read it, just read the title of it and you will understand.

But enough about next chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed this one and if you did boop that vote button with your nose and mayhaps cough up a comment.

I shall see all you wonderful people later! Au revoir little biscuits!

👁👄👁Cookie out👁👄👁