]Dovahkiin's POV[
Well I almost just got raped by two random priests. Fantastic. Didn't even get to fill out the religion slot on the character sheet. Whatever, I have no idea what I would've put anyways. Nor do I know what I'm supposed to do with this macaroni art. Oh well.

Now to go to Mr.Mackey to discuss gender. Apparently he's doing this with all the other kids in South Park as well. Don't know why it's taken so long for him to decide to do this but whatever.

Still don't get why all three of the schools have the same guidance counselor and principal and shit either. At least the teachers are different.

I arrive at the elementary school and make my way to Mr.Mackey's office, ignoring the little kids around me. I'm not really sure why they are still here when school ended like an hour and a half ago. Then again I'd rather be at school than at my house but to be fair I'd rather be practically anywhere than home. I wish my parents would stop fighting about the littlest of things.

I enter Mr. Mackey's office and greet him. "Hey Mr. Mackey, you wanted to talk to me?" I ask even though I already know why I'm here.

Honestly I've been trying to avoid this as much as I can because I'd honestly rather not deal with this. According to some of the others, no matter what your answer to his question is he calls your parents to make sure it's correct or that they know. And my dad still wants to keep everything hidden despite everyone already knowing basically everything but whatever.

"Oh hi Dovahkiin, thanks for coming, have a seat." I sit in the chair opposite to him and fold my hands in my lap. "Now PC Principal wants me to get an official declaration of all our students' um sex mkay?" He says looking at his clipboard.

"Don't you guys kinda already have that?" I question, trying to get out of it.

"Well we actually only have what the person was born as and well some people don't identify with what they were born with anymore so we just want to make sure no one is being forced to use the wrong bathrooms or anything because we don't have their gender labeled properly mkay?"

"Right got it." I say bitting my tongue and trying to hold back the sass.

"Mkay, see ,I'm highly trained in um, sex issues, mkay, so you don't have to be afraid." God I feel like I'm about to be sexually harassed again. Or that I'm about to delve into what little of a sex life I have or something. Is it even really a sex life if there's been no sex? I don't know, doesn't really matter either.

"Mkay, Dovahkiin, so it's, it's really simple, when, Uh when you want to talk about your sex you can simply, well you can simply start by saying, you know, I'm a, I'm a boy or I'm a girl or other."

Kinda want to say that I'm an attack helicopter but Clyde already did that and ended up not only going through a lot of dumbass made up explanations and descriptions but he also got in trouble with PC Principal who, and I quote , yelled "YOU CANT JUST LIE ABOUT YOUR GENDER CLYDE! IT MAKES ALL THE PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS ATTACK HELICOPTERS FEEL BAD DAMMIT!"

It was a wonderful day in English class that day. Anyways time to answer Mr. Mkay.

" Alright well I am a boy." I tell him leaning back in my chair a little and putting one leg over the other.

"Mkay boy right exactly you got it. You uh you're hundred percent sure about that right? You can be honest and say if you're not Dovahkiin I noticed your shifting."

Are you fucking kidding me? Just cause I crossed my legs? Oh for fuck sake. "No, no I'm 100% Male" I insist.

"Well Mkay. Now Dovahkiin, this is where it can get confusing so listen close, Mkay? If you were born a boy, that's what's called being a cisgender boy mkay, or 'cis' for short. But well you might have transitioned into being a boy. You see what I mean?"

"Uh huh." I say tapping fingers against my leg in annoyance. Don't know why exactly we have to go through all of this. I already know what transgender is and I'm not.

"Mkay, If you were not born a boy but you now Identify as one, well, that's called being transgendered, Mkay. Or trans for short, mkay."

I just hum in response and uncross my legs. "So, erm, do you identify as being cisgendered or transgenderd?"

"Well I was born a boy so I'm cisgendered I guess." I say crossing my arms and bouncing my leg. Please just let me leave.

"You guess? Dovahkiin are you sure that you aren't, um, uncomfortable with being identified as a boy? W-would you rather be identified as a girl or other? There's nothing to be ashamed of if that's the case mkay, it's better if you just-"

Oh my gooooooood fucking why? "No Mr Mackey I'm perfectly comfortable with being a Cisgender boy can I go now? I kinda have some things I need to do." That's actually a lie but there's other things that I could be doing.

"Ok... can you just hang on a minute? I need to call your parents. This'll just take a second." I can't help but to let my head fall back and release an annoyed groan.

I hear my mother pick up the phone. "Hello?"

"Uh, hello, this is Mr. Mackey, the counselor for the South Park school district."

"Oh Mr. Mackey hello! What seems to be the problem?"

"Yes, hi, uh I have Dovahkiin in my office right now and well, he's just let me know that he's cisgendered."

"Cisgendered? What's that?"

"That means he identifies with the sex that he was assigned to at birth."

"Oh okay, yes of course."

"Oh, you knew that? Mkay."

"Is there some sort of problem with that?"

"Well, no, no it's fine. I just wanted to make sure that you knew he had other options. You know, you don't, you don't always have to go with the first hand you're dealt. Mkay." He turned to look at me at that and I let out another annoyed groan. Fucking why?!? I'm fidgeting cause I'm bored you dip shit!

"Yes I know and I'm quite certain he is aware of this as well. But Dovahkiin hasn't really mentioned or shown any signs of wanting to be identified as anything other than a boy and he was born as one so..."

"Yeah, no, that's- That's great, that's great to know. I think that I can maybe really be of help from here on out. Thank you very much Mkay."

"Oh that- you don't have to do that Mr. Mackey but thank you nonetheless."

"Mkay bye-bye now, mkay." He then hangs up and sits back down in his chair. "Well, I'm really glad we had this talk. As a cisgender male myself, I know how hard it can be out there for a boy who chooses to love someone of the opposite sex. Just remember, Love is Love. Even if you're a guy who happens to like titties Mkay." Wait What? That's not at all what I said.

I open my mouth to retaliate but fuck it. I'm probably going to have to apologize to Kenny when Mr. Mackey assumes he's a transgender girl now or something.

"Just- just be careful Mkay. Cause there's- there's a lot of people out there who don't accept you for what you are and you're gonna have to deal with them, mkay. But come see me anytime mkay?"

I'm going to have to fight some people now aren't I? Great. I wave bye to Mr. Mackey and leave the elementary school. I walk up to Clyde, Kyle, and Craig outside about to great then when my prediction becomes true. Woop-dee-fucking-doo!

"Well, Well, Well if it ain't a group of cisgendered boys." Some bunch of drunk rednecks in a truck say.

"Oh for fucks sake." Craig curses.

"We don't take kindly to your types around here!"

"Really now? Are you actually trying to tell me you are any kinder to transgender people then?" I ask.

"Yeah that must mean you guys weren't born male right? Cause other wise you shouldn't take kindly to each other either." Kyle says crossing his arms."

"Do you guys sexually identify as assholes or rednecks?" Craig asks.

"Wha- no of course not! Just fuckin, Lets get 'em!"

Haha we made them mad.

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After the red necks failed to "punch me straight" the coon told me to go buy him a taco. So now I'm off to Freeman's taco because Cartman said that he'd refuse to give me any other missions until I get him a taco.

I enter the shop and Morgan Freeman greets me as usual but, before I can order Cartman a taco he starts going on about crafting shit and makes me download another app on my phone. He then teaches me how to make an Enchirido. Supposedly it's the first time anyone has done that. I somehow doubt that but, whatever it's Morgan Freeman.

He also gave me a bunch of other recipes so that I can "save my sorry ass" if I need to. I get Cartman's taco and as I'm leaving Morgan Freeman calls out to me one more time.

"And just one more thing. They say that some farts are so powerful that they can actually... bend the fabric of time. You be careful out there." Oooookay? That's both ominous and stupid.

And of course right as I'm leaving Freeman's Tacos Cartman calls me back to the Coon Lair and demands I get him his taco immediately.

"Here's your damn taco Coon." I throw the bag on the table in front of him. Before either of us can say anything a dumbass alarm starts going off.

Cartman immediately goes over to the "coon computer" and answers it.

"This is Coon what's happening?"

"It's the Freedom Pals!" Human Kite responds.

The what now?

"What have they done now?" Coon asks.

"Just get to Main Street! Hurry!"

"I'm coming! Coon Out!" He then ends the call and turns to me. "Alpha Wolf you stay here and guard the lair I'll go help them."

"Um no no no who are the Freedom Pals? And why the fuck should I stay here?" I say following him up the stairs.

"Their our rival franchise and you're not strong enough to go up against them yet. Now stay here!" He says slamming the front door in my face. I throw it open and jog a bit to catch back up with him. Was he seriously running just to get away from me? Okay now I'm even more suspicious.

"Oh bullshit Cartman there's a reason you don't want me to go and I'm going to find out what exactly it is!"

"Ugh God dammit Dovahkiin. Fucking, fine you were bound to find out anyways."

We finally arrive on Main Street and- oh god fucking dammit! Of fucking course!

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END OF CHAPTER 4
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An: Okay so I've started to enter slight panic mode with my summer assignments but the good news is that means I'm actually doing them.

I say that and yet I literally stopped reading to post this but in my defense, I probably would've forgotten otherwise and/or wouldn't have been able to concentrate.

The one good thing about The Picture of Dorian Gray is that it makes me want to draw. And by that I mean work on drawings that I started ages ago and finish them. And by THAT I mean half ass finish this:

And improve the cover for South Park High.

But anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and if you did boop that vote button with your nose and mayhaps cough up a comment (which you guys have actually been doing and that makes me VERY happy thank you I love you😊).

I shall see you all later. Au revoir little biscuits!

🍩Cookie out🍩