]Dovahkiin's POV[

So apparently creepy scientist guy only gives tours at night because I don't fucking know, ambiance? "Alright so what exactly are we meant to do for the next... 6 hours?" I ask, checking the time on my phone.

"I mean 6 hours isn't thaaaaat long"

"Clyde you can barely sit through an assembly without either falling asleep or getting us in trouble for talking." Token points out.

"Yeah but that's cause it's boring."

"And you think sitting here and waiting isn't gonna be boring?" I ask with a raised brow.

"Good point."

We all just kinda stand there for a minute silently. Butters shifts and seems like he's about to say something when suddenly-

"You know Dovahkiin, you still have yet to tap the full potential of your time-bending ass, ass, ass...." GAH MORGAN FREEMAN.

"Something that could enhance your ability, could possibly make time pass more quickly, quickly, quickly...." Oh okay yeah I see where this is going. I'm gonna have to make more weird not quite Mexican Mexican food aren't I?

"You see that AC fan over there? Right there behind you. Over by the gate. On the left side can't miss it."

I look over my shoulder and slowly start making my way towards the gate. Everyone else seems to be watching me. They don't see Morgan Freeman too do they? I mean no one is saying anything...

"If you fart into that fan the oscillation of the gas will filter through the expansion valve, mixing it with the pressurized refrigerant inside the condenser coils..." What.

"Don't question if that makes any sense kid. Just fart in the fan, go on." I really don't want to.

"I'll fire it up for you right now."

"Soooo I'm not the only one that saw Morgan Freeman tell Dova to fart in a fan because some how that's gonna lead him to being able to speed up time right?" Stan asks.

"Wait you guys saw him too? I don't just have a weird ass psychic link with Morgan Freeman for some bizarre reason?"

"I- does this happen every time you get a new time fart?" Kyle asks looking at me with sheer confusion written all over his face.

"Yeah. Usually he tells me to make some weird ass Mexican food, I gather all the shit for it, make it and then eat it and suddenly I can fart through time." I explain.

"What in the actual fuck?" Token asks clearly bewildered by this whole thing.

"Yeah I have no fucking idea how any of it works." I admit.

"So what does all of that have to do with farting into a fan?" Wendy asks, nose scrunched in disgust.

"Dunno let's find out." I say gesturing to the fan that lord knows how Freeman actually turned on. I fart into the fan aaaaaand suddenly it's night time. Also there's a thunderstorm only over the creepy mansion lab place now.

"What in the actual fuck just happened?" Clyde asks.

"I... I am so confused." I say just sitting down, and rubbing my face before running a hand through my hair. I let out a long frustrated exhale before turning to the others. "Alright, yeah sure whatever fuck it. See if we can go on this weird ass tour now."

Kyle taps the button for the intercom thing and says, "Um, hello? We're here for the tour."

"Ah yes come in." And cue giant creepy gate creaking open.

"I'm so about to get experimented on." I grumble as I get up and follow behind Kenny up to the stereotypical evil lair/lab. We all crowd in front of the door and- wait a minute. "Is it just me or is the door covered in asses?"

"Oh right Dr. Mephesto kinda has a thing for butts." Cartman comments. I not so subtly grab Ken by the waist and pull him back towards me.

"Not that kinda thing idiot!" He says punching my shoulder and wiggling out of my grip.

You know I honestly forgot Cartman was here. Which considering he's the whole reason we're in this mess is kinda shocking. But to be fair he has seemed to wise up and decided to actually be fucking quiet for once.

The door then opens and.... There's a fat old guy with a yellow floral pattern shirt, hat, and a butt cane. This was NOT what I was expecting.

"Oh, some young people interested in genetic engineering, huh? Wonderful! Ple-" he pauses when his eyes land on me. "Oh a little too into genetic engineering I see. You didn't actually come here for a tour did you? You just wanted me to fix your screw up huh?"

"No no no this was not a result of genetic engineering!" At least I don't think it was.

"Yeah he's always been like that. We really are just here for the tour!" Butters chips in giving him the classic "look at me I'm a cute innocent angel" Butters smile. Either I've finally corrupted him and have taught him how to be manipulative or he doesn't get the picture and actually thinks we're just here for a tour.

"Oh well in that case please come in!" He says stepping to the side to let us in. "Oh wow  there's a lot of you."

As he's holding the door open for everyone I turn to Butters and whisper "Was that you actually thinking we're here for a tour or have you finally gotten down using your Buttersness to manipulate people?"

"Why I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about Alpha Wolf." Butters responds with a tilt of his head while looking at me all wide-eyed and innocent. I catch a subtle mischievous glint in his eye followed by what looked like the flash of a small smirk before he turns around to face the others.

"Dear lord we've ruined him." Kenny says, having watched the whole exchange.

"Never thought I'd be scared of Butters." I add on, nodding in agreement. We both then turn to Mehfistme as he seems to be starting the tour now.

"Well! I'm so pleased that you children are interested in genetic engineering." Is that a mule with multiple human butts in a tube? Or Is it a horse?

"Genetic science began as a simple question. Can a monkey be made to have four asses instead of one?" I don't think that's right. Also why would anybody ask that?

"The answer was yes. And now we've been able to give more asses to pigs, horses, everything you can imagine."

"But whyyyy?" I whisper. "Why would you do this?"

"How does that help?" Craig questions, a lot louder than me.

"Ohhh you're one of the cynics huh? Well, meet me over here for the tour and I'll show you how!"

"How the fuck was that being cynical?" Stan whispers looking to Craig as we follow the very crazy scientist. "That was like a legit question."

"Come on, don't be shy. We don't want to miss the four-assed gorilla feeding."

"It wasn't this guy is just clearly crazy." I whisper back. "Also when Cartman said he had a thing for butts I didn't think it'd be like this."

"You ever play that video game Half-Life? OK here we go!" Dr. Mefishtoes asks randomly, as we all pile in and the weird... well it's not exactly a lift cause I'm doesn't go up at all but it's kinda like ski lift shaped? I was going somewhere with this but I don't remember where.

"Here you can see our greenhouse. Genetic engineering is helpful to grow larger tomatoes, onions, cucumbers." Why are they so lumpy looking? "Fruits and vegetables with more asses-"  Ah, thats why. Did he just say giving them asses boosts their nutritional value or some shit? How the fuck does that work?

"What good does that do? I don't see how putting asses on plants could possibly-"

"Ho, you Bible thumpers are all alike. Don't play god, you'll pay for it! Ha. Let's continue up to the second level, shall we?" I feel like we're gonna end up paying for it on this tour. That's usually how this shit goes, foreshadowing and all that jazz.

"Did you just call ME a bible thumper?" Craig glares at his back. "I just wanna know how adding asses to things he-"

"Another benefit of genetic engineering, of course, is combining animals."

"Is this how you feel all the time Dova?" Craig whispers clearly very annoyed at the bullshittery that's in play.

"Yeah pretty much." I say basically tuning this guy out at this point.

Craig doesn't though. "Will you please explain how that benefits science, AT ALL?" Riiiight Craig is secretly a bit of a science nerd isn't he? Though I'm pretty sure he's more into space than anything else but still. It all melds together at some point or something right?

"What's your name young man?"

"Super Craig." Did he just-

"You see Super Craig, once we know how to do things to animals, we can hopefully apply them to mankind. You think having more asses is impossible? I tell you it's not."

"Did he actually just call you Super Craig?" Stan whispers.

"I honestly said that as a joke and as a weak attempt to show him Im not one of those crazy "follow everything this old ass book says or you're gonna die alone and burn in hell" people. I'm as surprised as you are."

"Gah y-you're really getting w-w-worked up about this." Tweek says looking at him in concern before going off into what seems to be a stressed out mumbled freak out. I think he's mumbling about no knowing how to calm Craig down and how that's not fair cause Craig is always calming him down.

"Tweek, hey woah it's okay honey it's alright I'm fine no need to get stressed, I'm just a bit annoyed is all." Guess Tweek managed to unintentionally calm him down by distracting him with his own need to be calmed down. Whatever works.

Oh the science guy is talking again. He had a son named Terrance apparently.

"Oh yeah I remember that kid." Stan comments.

"I always wondered whatever happened to him." Kyle adds on.

"Terrance was tragically killed in town when some kids were playing around with a relic belonging to Barbara Streisand."

Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman all suddenly inhaled through clenched teeth at that. "Ooh jeeze think that was us." Kenny whispers.

"Oh that was 100% us." Kyle whispers back.

"So you're doing all this as a way to bring back your dead son?" Wendy asks.

"Well now I feel bad for-"

"Bring him back? Of course not. I'm trying to give his dead body more asses so he can Rest In Peace. Now let's continue to the fourth floor!"

"Nevermind. I don't feel bad at all." Craig says, looking simultaneously annoyed and dead inside.

The door opens up and I already have a bad feeling. "Why do I feel like this is where everything goes to shit?" I whisper.

"Probably because there's a bunch of mutated ninth graders in pods." Stan whispers as the "Scientist" begins to talk about how his new benefactor asked for these mutants so that they would be stronger and crazier.

"OK. OK! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" And Craig's lost it. I don't really blame him though.

"How do you mean?"

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE GENETICALLY ENHANCED FRESHMEN? IM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THATS ILLEGAL!"

"Okay c-calm down Craig." Tweek says grabbing his hand.

"How do you think we pay for all this? We have financial donors. Our latest benefactor has asked for this army of mutated Highschool freshmen to protect his altered cats."

"Eric, what the heck have you done?" I hear Butters angrily whispering at him.

"I didn't know about any of this! This wasn't me I swear!" I hear him frantically whispering back. I'm starting to think he's got a weird personality disorder or something because he seems actually freaked out by all of this.

Also we are now looking at cats that seem very angry and have a lot of butts on them. And oh good they're deadly.

"THEN WHY WOULD YOU BRING A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS UP HERE!?" Craig yells at him.

"Look there's nothing to worry about! This entire facility has a very complex security grid."

"Why the fuck did you just say that? Have you seen Jurassic Park? Now everything's gonna fail, all the shit in here will be released and-" I'm cut off by an explosion and the lights going off.

"Aaand now we're all fucked." Kenny finishes.

"Huh, that's never happened before." Oh look there's the flashing red alarm and surprise surprise security is fucked and so are we.

"Hello freedom pals."

We all turn to glare at Cartman, but he's not there. "God fucking Dammit you fat fuck! You're gonna get us all killed!" Okay I'm starting to get angry again.

"So you've figured out my little plan, huh Freedom Pals? Think you can stop me? Well let's put these cats to the test."

|•|Kenny's POV|•|

"I SWEAR TO GOD CARTMAN IF WE DONT DIE HERE IM ACTUALLY GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU. I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF YOU'VE GOT SOME WEIRD PERSONALITY THING OR NOT IM SICK OF YOUR BULL SHIT." Dovahkiin yells up at the ceiling.

Yeah I was kinda wondering why Dova had been so calm through out all this after having been oh so royally pissed before hand.

"Jesus fucking Christ. How the hell did he even get away?" Token curses.

"Do you guys know what tonight is?" "Mitch Connor" asks as a section of the ceiling begins to open up, revealing the night sky.

The cats are now getting extra loud and hissy, probably because Dova is getting extra growly and- "Shit." I say going wide eyed as I turn towards my slowly morphing boyfriend.

"Oh shit it's a full moon!" Craig says also staring at the very angry, quickly transforming teen in front of us.

"What's happening with him? He a werewolf or something?" Stupid fucking scientist guy HAD to say werewolf didn't he?

" 'M NOT A FUCKIN' WEREWOLF" Dova says whirling around to face him growling, and starting to lower onto all fours. He's definitely fighting the transformation that's for sure.

"Well now he's even more pissed off good fucking job!" Kyle yells glaring at the supposed Doctor.

"I don't get it! He was fine when we were coming in!" Token points out as we all start slowly backing off to give him some space.

"The clouds must've been covering the moon or some shit! Plus he wasn't angry when we came in!" Stan responds.

"Have fun dealing with an angry wolf and pissed off mutants Freedom pals. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made, and those sacrifices are you."

As "Mr. Connor" says this all the cats begin to break out, and of course they're all coming right at me. Oh great.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
END OF CHAPTER 33
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

An: So HERES roughly how I finally buckled down to finish this chapter and the next one(which'll come out tomorrow probably if not today).

Me: "You know what? I should do? I should probably finish writing that chapter of  my South Park fic before I'm swamped by college again. After all I can use my new laptop to watch the game play while writing so I don't gotta switch back and forth!*opens Wattpad to 68 notifications* oh... oh wow, well it's not like all of these were from my fan fictions or anything." They mostly we're from people voting on the various books in this series and adding them to lists and things....

So naturally I feel even worse now for making y'all wait. I had an excuse for the first half in the form of having to research for and type out a 5,400 word essay in about a week as well as prepare for finals. I only got it to about 5,230 with the 239 coming from siting sources but I still somehow managed to get an A- in the class.

God I hated that stupid ARCH class. Anywho, after that, finding out that the essay due date wasn't gonna be due for another week and dealing with finals, I had planned on taking a week to just kinda breathe. And then suddenly it was a week before Christmas and I didn't have any gifts for anyone and neither me or my mother had did any wrapping.

After that I was once again like "okay time to take an out her breather before doing anything." And then suddenly January 2020 was halfway over. Oh might I mention I've basically been sick for two months now? It's basically just a cough but there were a few days where it was death and I ended up missing a wedding because of it.

Though honestly I didn't really want to go anyways....

ANYWHO happy late Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, and New Year! If you celebrate none of those Holidays then happy whatever you do celebrate, whether that be something as simple as a birthday or some other holiday that I just don't know about.

But yeah I'm still kinda reeling from the whole end of the decade thing. Like I feel like my childhood has officially ended now. I grew up in the 2000's and 2010's man. I'm turning hecking 19 in like less than 2 months! Hell one of my best friends is gonna be turning 20! 20! That's two decades! I don't like it.

Anywho sorry for taking so long for this, and I'm really glad that so many people see yo be enjoying this whole series. If you are enjoying it then the votes are really really appreciate and I'd love it if you gave that vote button a boop with your nose and mayhaps you could also cough up a comment because it's the happy comments saying they laughed that truly make me go "I've actually done good with this haven't I?"

I hope you all enjoyed and I'll see you next time.
Au revoir little biscuits!

👏🏻Cookie out👏🏻