]Dovahkiin's POV[

So we beat up the rag tag group of people I've managed to piss off recently. I also got a message from Wendy in the middle of the fight letting me know that she was trying to track where Cartman is. We'll see which method of tracking is better, traditional hound hunt or hacking. Either way we're getting his ass.

We make it to my house without any further incidents aaaand the place is wrecked and there's "blood" absolutely everywhere. It's very obviously not real because 1. This isn't an anime people don't have enough blood in their body to paint an entire house red. Especially not if they're still alive. 2. It doesn't smell or even really look like blood. It's more like a mixture of ketchup and red paint. In fact I think that's exactly what it is. Meh not my problem, I'm not coming back here till my parents figure their shit out.

"Jesus talk about overboard. I know Cartman likes his dramatics but damn." Clyde comments.

"Right, while Dova tries to pick up a scent amongst all this 'Blood' smell, the rest of us should look for clues that might be around here."

Actually, my parents have been like this for awhile and it usually takes them a long time to sort shit out. Not to mention they gotta realize that there's something to sort out first. And I don't think I could just mooch off the McCormicks for a few months no matter what they say.

Alright focus Dova you're trying to find your parents not shit on them. Okay the ketchup-paint smell is way too over powering and it's making me low key nauseous. Okay no high key.

"You get anything mutt butt?" Craig asks.

"Yeah nausea. Who would've guessed that ketchup and paint mixed together would smell so damn awful." I reply sarcastically.

"Is that what this is? Damn that's gonna be a pain to clean." Token adds. "Has anyone found anything other than broken glass and shit, cause I've found fuck all."

"Nope nothing." Kyle says coming out of the kitchen.

"I found some dank w-w- some dank wee- I found some dank w-wee-weed." Jimmy says, coming down the stairs.

"Yeah that's my dad's."

(( I just wanna let
You guys know that auto correct was very insistent that that's was spelled like ThAt'S and tried to correct dad's to daddy's. I don't know why and I don't want to know why. Anyways back to your regularly scheduled chapter))

"The only thing mildly interesting is that he left your room completely alone." Kenny responds, stopping behind Jimmy on the stairs.

"Great so now we've just wasted time and I'll have to follow Cartman's stupid-" I'm cut off by my phone blaring Run the world by Beyoncé, Aka the ring tone I designated for all the girls.

"Dovahkiin! I got him! The messages have been coming from the Community Center." Wendy says the moment I answer.

"Wait messages? As in multiple messages? How do you even know about this? And he only sent Dova one message, unless- Do you have like all of our electronics bugged or some shit?" Craig asks.

"Dude one of her moves is to blow up people's phones, no shit she's got all of us bugged. She's got all of South Park bugged!" Kyle says.

"I mean yeah but it's not like she uses it for evil." Stan says meekly trying to defend her, knowing fully well that that shit is just straight up weird and creepy and I'm pretty sure illegal but whatever. Wait why is he even trying to defend her? Didn't they break up?

"Is now really the time to be discussing this? Eric literally has Dova's parents held captive!"

"Right right sorry. Okay to the Community Center!" Kyle says.

We all rush over there, battling Crab people, freshmen, and ninjas along the way. Guess the Rasins are busy.

"Alright guys lets get this fat turd while we can." Kenny says as we reach the doors.

"Alright, ready? One-"

Fuck the count down. I ignore Kyle and just spartan kick that shit open. And sure enough Fatass is standing there with his stupid hand puppet.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Freedom Pals and their prized player."

"Cut the Crap Cartman. Where are my parents?"

"I didn't do shit!" Cartman claims before his hand replies.

"I've done nothing yet. But when I'm finished with you, I can't say that they'll be safe exactly."

"This has gone far enough! We end this now!" Kenny yells at him.

"The only thing about to end is you, Mysterion."

"Over my dead body." I growl out.

"That can be arranged."

"We aren't gonna fight you, Cartman! Now put your stupid hand down and stop playing games!" Kyle says.

"Oh no, we're definitely fighting him." Craig counters.

"Except it won't be that much of a fight, more like we beat the ever loving shot out of him and he spouts bullshit." I add. I am so gonna kill him. Like I legitimately intend to send him to the hospital after this.

"We have to stop him, you guys! He's got all of Dova's followers now!" Cartman says moving the very unnecessary mic to his actual mouth.

"The fuck are you talking about? You don't have shit."

"All the selfies you took with-"

"Is that what you're stupid riddle goose chase was for? We didn't follow it. I already told you that I'm done playing your stupid fucking games Cartman!" I shout at him, getting angrier by the second as this shit drags on.

"Even with their help you- wait WHAT!? YOU DIDNT FOLLOW MY RIDDLES!? THEN HOW DID YOU-"

"THATS IT IM RIPPING YOUR STUPID ASS PUDGY LITTLE HAND OFF AND SHOVING IT DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!" I yell at him, losing my nerve and charging. I'm seeing nothing but red right now and I want everyone else to too.

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<-<- Kyle's POV->->

After loads of cheating and bullshit remarks we finally beat Cartman and his dumbass hand puppet. Dova currently has him up against a wall, arm pressed against his nearly nonexistent throat while the other is clenched into a fist and waiting to knock him the fuck out.

"Cartman I swear on everything holy and everything sinful as well, if you don't tell me where the flying fucking hell my parents are Im gonna hit you do hard that you'll never wake up."

His hand puppet then sudden disappears with a claim that we will never know.

"Connor no! Shit he's go-"

Dovahkiin proceeds to slam Cartman against the wall and yell at him "HOW MANU FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU IM NOT PLAYING YOUR DEMENTED AS FUCK GAME ANYMORE FATASS!? WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY PARENTS!?" I think he dented the wall...

"Come on Dova, well take this fat piece of shit back to base." I suggest. Really I just want to give him a chance to calm down, and also keep him from damaging public property any further than we all already have.

"What fat piece of shit Human kite? And what game Alpha Wolf? I'm just-"

"Cartman unless you want broken bones, missing teeth, and a concussion, then shut the fuck up." Craig warns him, as Dovahkiin's growls increase.

"Oh he deserves a lot worse than that." Dova growls out.

"Right right, but first we need him to talk. And the only way we can get him to talk is torture." I say putting a hand on the angry Wolf's shoulder.

"Yeah threats don't work on fat dumbasses we need to actually torture him and shit. But let's do it back at base so the evidence is easier to hide and we have more tools to work with." Stan agrees, coming up to Dov's other side.

"You're gonna torture ME? For what!?"

"You know for what. Fine let's go. Someone take him. Otherwise I'll knock him out before we make it five feet out the door. Especially if he keeps spouting this bullshit." Dova says, shoving him towards me and Stan before, turning on his heel, angrily speed walking to the entrance, slamming the door open,
and leaving.

"Gah! I-I think he b-br-broke the d-d-door." Tweek stutters our, extra twitchy because of our situation. Luckily Craig seems to be choosing to stick with his boyfriend rather than go after his angry best friend.

Kenny let's out a sigh before turning to us and saying, "I'll see if I can-"

"No. I'll go." Butters cuts him off. "You've been doing a lot and you're just as tired and stressed as he is. No offense but I think you trying to calm him might only make things worse. Let me handle this." He says, smiling sadly at Ken Before dashing off yelling "Dov wait up!"

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END OF CHAPTER 31
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AN: I got hit by a car :D

And by hit I mean I was crossing the street and he kinda nudged me and scraped my arm while trying to make a turn. And while it stung like a bitch for a few days and scabbed a little ThAtS(why auto correct) about all that happened. I may or may not have even mentioned it to my parents cause why worry them over nothing you know?

Oh but that's not why this is horribly late. I'm just forgetful and lazy. The Friday before this was meant to be out I realized I actually hadn't written anything at all and I just went •^• well fuck time to write an entire chapter in 2 days.

Which doesn't sound too bad but homework is a thing and I don't have a good attention span so .~.

I'm sorry I'm so bad.

There might be another chapter coming out tomorrow. More likely on Saturday or Sunday. Idk we'll see if I stop being bad. Next chapter will probably be in the next 10 years knowing me. Also I'm deleting THAT section of  ch 6 because it's just like out of place and kinda fucked now that I think about it. 7th graders really shouldn't be doing that shit so yeah. Reading it sure whatever, doing it? Oh no no no honey wtf is wrong with me.

I'll most likely change it to make it cuter and fluffier, maybe now maybe later idk, well see.

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed and if you did boop that vote button with your nose and mayhaps cough up a comment. Hope y'all had a Happy Halloween.

Au revoir spooky biscuits.

👻🎃Cookie Out🎃👻