]Dovahkiin's POV[

"I have finally bought enough tin foil to piece together my greatest weapon yet!" He's in a giant mech made entirely out of "minions" covered in Tin foil. How in the actual fuck does that even work? And are those people and dogs okay?

"GREETINGS! I'd like you to meet MECHA MINION CHAOS SUPREME!" That name is fucking awful.

"You made that shit and that's the best name you can come up with?"

"I... well yeah... Y-You Shut up and suffer the wrath of Chaos!" Oh did I say that out loud? Ah well. Looks like we're fighting Butters now. But first he had to say the name wrong once more and make Cartman angry. Fun.

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Many bruises, scratches, and three long ass phases later and we've defeated Butters and his tin foil minion mech.

"Alright Chaos Talk! Who gave you the money to do all this?" Stan asks.

Butters just continues to lie there.

Kyle shakes him a yells "Butters! Wake up!"

"I think he's dead dude." Craig comments.

"He's not dead" Cartman says kicking him Butters grunts and moved to cover his face.

"He probably passed out from exhaustion like I'm about to. Can we head back now?" I say, emphasizing my point with an involuntary yawn. I'm gonna need someone to literally drag me through all my classes.

"Yeah I think we better bring him back to base fellas." Jimmy says.

"Alright, come on let's take him out to the holding cell." Coon says picking him up off the ground.

"The holding cell? Oh jeeze, it's kinda late fellas. I should go home or I'm gonna be grounded." Butters says.

"You should've thought of that before you tried to lava the town Chaos." Cartman says walking away with the others following close behind.

I go to tell Cartman to cool it but I'm interrupted by my own yawn.

Also Kyle addressing Stan. "Hey dude. It was great working with you again man. It was just like old times."

Stan turns around to face both of us and shrugs before saying "Yeah well... I told you- this was a one-shot deal." This sounds like a couple of ex's who hooked up one last time after years of not seeing each other. And despite what they said/ are saying they're going to get back together again cause that's how that shit usually works.

Or not cause they were going back and forth while I was stuck in my thoughts and now Stan is gone and Kyle is sad. And I am tired. But of fucking course we have to have another meeting before I can attempt to sleep.

Apparently we're trying to figure out who payed Butters. So an actual thing that's kinda a legit question. The others are theorizing that it's an adult which no shit it's and adult how the hell would a kid have that kind of spending money?

Course Butters doesn't fucking know who it is either nor does anyone else apparently according to him. Also apparently I blacked out for a minute or something cause now Kyle and Cartman are arguing over Mitch Conner and Hand puppets. How are they related I don't know because I'm not really listening.

Also all the others with the exception of Craig and obviously Kyle seem to think that Mitch Conner is a viable candidate for who paid Butters. Judging by the hand puppet on the tablet that's taped to the coon whatever the fuck I'm now realizing that Mitch is the hand puppet and the majority of my friends are even dumber than I thought.

And now Kyle's bailed. Fuck it I'm going too, not like I'm gonna retain any of this information. I think Coon dismissed everyone anyways cause now Craig is asking if I'm okay.

"Mmhmm. 'M jus' really tired" I say, some of the words coming out slurred from my exhaustion.

"Alright Man just go to bed then. See ya at school tomorrow. Night Mutt Butt." Craig says patting me on the shoulder and waving me off. I think I responded to him but honestly I'm not sure if that was just me thinking about responding or not. Oh I'm in front of my house. When did that happen? Jesus I need sleep.

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|•|Kenny's POV|•|

Where in the actual fuck is my boyfriend? The first bell rang and the tardy bell rings in like a minute.

"Okay what the fuck did you guys do at the U-Stor- it last night, and did it cause both my boyfriend and Butters to die?" I ask turning towards Kyle.

"Classified, though I'm surprised Stan hasn't said anything to the Freedom Pals, neither Butters or your boyfriend are dead, I guess Cartman still has Butters fucking locked up and I have no idea where  Dova is." Kyle responds.

"Locked up? Fucking where? In the 'holding pen' that's literally just a giant glorified dog crate?" I ask with a raised brow.

"Yuuuup." He confirms, popping the p. The Tardy bell rings and there's still no sign of Dovahkiin.

It's not till a few minutes after the tardy bell for second period rings that Dova comes shuffling in looking like a mess with a mumbled apology and an explanation that he slept in late.

Rather than scolding him Mr.Limdic, or as we call him, Limpdick, just kinda looks him up and down before saying he should've slept in a few hours longer. That's a shocker. He's actually being an understanding person for once and showing slight concern for his students! That's pretty damn rare for his angry ass. At least he's not homophobic or racist or anything like that.

Luckily PC principle fired every one who fell under those categories. If only he could fire the plain old asshole teachers too.

I wait for Limpdick to turn his back and continue on his rambling before grabbing Dov's arm, causing him to remove his face from the desk to look at me slightly. I mouth the question " Are you okay?" To which he smiles tiredly and nods.

That's it. I'm threatening Cartman and making him give Dovy a break tonight. And if he says no I don't care and I'm sticking to him to ensure he sleeps.

After what felt like days but was really like 45 minutes since it's early day, second period ends and as we're making our way towards 3rd I pull Dova aside.

"What happened last night? I know it was something with the U-Stor-It and I'm aware that you can't say exactly what but just-"

"I'm fine Ken. Only thing big that really happened was Cartman being a dumbass and injecting Craig with some shit he got online to 'Stablize' him." Dovahkiin interrupts me.

"Ah so that's why Tweek slapped him and called him an idiotic asshole. Didn't even stutter or anything." I say recalling Tweek storming up to the Fatass and doing just that.

"Aw man I wish I could've seen that." Dova pouts. "We stayed out so late last night that I actually just passed out once I got home. My parents being the morons they are slept in too and I only woke up cause they were yelling about how my ungrateful ass didn't wake them up." He explains.

"Aw Dova." I rub his back in pity. "If it makes you feel any better I'm pretty sure Stan recorded Tweek slapping fat boy."

"Awesome." He says giving me a tired smile. Yep I'm gonna fucking tie him to a bed if that's what it takes to get him to sleep.

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It's lunch now and the moment after Stan showed Dova the video he layed his head down and went to sleep. So far he's remained awake it both the classes that he was present for but I don't think he retained any of the information.

"Does he even have a lunch?" Kyle asks as he looks at Dov with concern.

"It doesn't look like it." I reply.

"Th-that's only gonna m-make things worse for him I-Isn't it?" Tweek questions.

"Oh it's definitely gonna make things worse. Which is exactly why I brought an extra snack bag of Cheezits." Craig says moving around to our side of the table to shove the bag of cheesy crackers in his pocket.

"Thanks Craig. I definitely would've done that if I could but you know." I say shrugging.

"No problem. Dov is one of my best friends. Course I'm gonna be concerned about his dumbass not taking care of himself." He responds with a wave of his hand as he sits back down with Tweek. "Besides I kinda owe him for helping me get back together with Tweek." He emphasizes this by pecking the spazzy blond on the cheek.

"You're homosexual, stop it!" Stan shouts throwing his empty juice box at them.

"Oh god please don't start a food fight." Kyle groans.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Craig responds before he pulls out a banana from his bag. "Choose your weapon nave!"

"Don't you mock me peasant! You don't have a chance!" Stan responds picking up his "healthy" fruit roll.

"You're both stupid. Why do I have Cheezits?" Dovahkiin says sitting up and pulling them out of the his jacket pocket.

"You're welcome, now eat you bitch." Craig responds.

"Bu-"

"Just eat them. I don't want to deal with your whiny ass later." Craig responds.

Dova begins grumbling about "aggressive kindness" as he opens the crackers and eats them with a pout. And then the bell rings and he continues doing just that as we walk down the hall to fourth period.

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END OF CHAPTER 19
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An: HOLY SHIT THIS IS RATED #1 FRACTURED BUT WHOLE WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN AND HOW AND WHY WHAT THE SHIIIIIT

THAT IS NOT DESERVED LIKE ACTUALLY WHAT THE HELL? The first and second books are ranked in the 200's and 300' s in other categories but this one is number one in one of them? The actual fuck? That is amazing and I'm shocked, confused, and very happy. My ass better start writing more Jesus this is amazing thank you so so much!

I love you all very much and you're comments and votes always make me very happy this is absolutely insane and there aren't enough words to express my gratitude! Fuck it I'm updating this early. And by that I mean I'm gonna start updating every other Saturday cause I feel like that's better.

Oh and happy late Lunar New Year!

Anyways thank you again and if you enjoyed boop that vote button with your nose and mayhaps cough up a comment.

I shall see you guys later. Au revoir little biscuits!

🐷Very Grateful Cookie out🐷