]Dovahkiin's POV[

We begin to make our way around Butters' "fortress" which looks like it is Halloween themed with him popping up on monitors to make random mocking comments like how we'll never make it through his barriers and then getting upset that we made it through his barriers.

Also he's hired Mexican people to be his minions along with a bunch of dogs and random kids that I've never even seen before. So that's fun.

After throwing myself over a wall rather than doing the weird ass "Fartkor" thing, I come across Craig staring at a truck covered in tin foil?

"Why would Chaos want to wrap an entire truck in aluminum foil?"

"That's what you're questioning out of everything?" I respond with a raised brow.

"It is what I'm questioning at the moment. I'll question about this other bull shit later but for now I'm question the purposes of an aluminum foil covered truck." Craig responds.

"That's not the problem!" Oh look Wendy is on the roof. "Is aluminum foil really what you guys are concerned with?"

"I mean I'm kinda just concerned for Butters' sanity" Craig responds.

"I'm concerned about a lot of things." I reply.

It's at this moment that everyone else comes out of nowhere to look up at CallGirl.

"Who the fuck is that?" Cartman asks.

"Who do you know in are grade that wears shit loads of pink and has long black hair?" I answer with a sarcastic question.

"You were right about the Italian restaurant Alpha Wolf. The owner is a part of a new crime syndicate" Wendy ignores us.

"Okay one I didn't know anything I was just trying to fucking stay alive, two kinda found that out in the process of doing just that so uh thanks for the review." I say with an eye roll.

"Who the fuck is that" Cartman repeats with several pauses and emphasis on 'that.'

"I have no idea." Stan replies. Bitch you two just broke up don't give me that shit.

"Well she's not in the union!" He then turns to address Wendy. "Excuse me are you on Coonstagram?"

Wendy continues ignoring him and going on about there being someone trying to unite the crime families and blah blah blah crap we already know and are for some reason ignoring.

Or I thought we did but Jimmy seems confused and Cartman is trying to lead us away because "We're not playing with her." Yeah cause this shits all a game and we're only risking our lives for this shit. But the fucking franchise bullshit is real. What is wrong with my friends?

"Check out storage facility 50-D Alpha Wolf. And take this" Wendy informs tossing a fucking phone at me what the hell? "Call me if you need me. I think you're going to need all the help you can get." Okay not like I already had a phone and her number or anything but sure.

Cartman complains about her suddenly showing up and now we are back to looking for a fucking cat. Now I have to drag a box for us to go over lava because there's no air compressors around. And Stan was mocking me the entire time cause yeah he's salty right now I guess.

Wait hang on a damn second, not being able to get rid of the Legos there was foreshadowing something wasn't it? I'm gonna have to do more stupid shit later aren't I? Greaaaat.

Oh and look there it is we enter a warehouse and there's lava at the door now. Fantastic. And whomst the fuck is laughing at us?

"Will you stop fucking around Chaos!" Coon yells out.

"Not Professor Chaos- his partner in crime, General Dissaray!" Some kid a few years younger than us yells from across the warehouse.

"Careful, he's a ginge." Coon warns.

"I think we have things that are more concerning than that at the moment." I comment.

"Do you know what Professor Chaos has planned for this city?"

"No but you're probably about to tell us right?" Super Craig replies.

"Look kid, you and Butters are taking this way too far" Stan interrupts.

"Yeah kid it's time to teach you a lesson!" Speaking of taking things to far. Give it up for Eric fucking Cartman everyone.

"That won't be as easy as you think."

What's the kid doing with that remote thingy and was that a challenge or a threat? Oh hey he almost lavaed Cartman. Guess it was a threat. And oh boy more fighting. As if I wasn't sore enough.

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$~Stan's POV~$
We've defeated General Disarray and because Coon stupidly smashed the remote the lava dispensing thing went crazy and now lava is spilling everywhere. Ah well we got all of the minions.

"I think that was the last of them guys." I announce to the others.

"Don't count on it. We should make a... Wait Super Craig? Oh my god Super Craig!?" Coon Shouts running over to the increasing line of lava which separates us from Craig. I immediately try and look for an air compressor to clear it.

"Super Craig! Just hold tight!" Coon instructs him.

"Shit there's no Air compressor here! I can't remove the lava!" I say coming back to the others and giving up my search.

"Hang on Super Craig, we're going to find something to plug Toolshed's sandblaster into." Coon reassures.

"I mean if he jumps it now-"

"That's way too dangerous" Human kite cuts off Alpha Wolf.

"Okay if I jump over it now-"

"Don't bother Alpha Wolf. You and I already know that I am already dead. There's no point in me dragging you down with me." Super Craig cuts him off.

"First off cut the dramatics you're not dying second off you are like one of my best friends and if you were dying I'd be dying with you." Dovahkiin argues.

"No Super Craig, Alpha Wolf, don't talk like that! We are gonna find a way to save you! Do something Toolshed!" Cartman orders.

"I can't! There's nothing here! I need compressed air for my sandblaster to work!" I respond.

"Get the one from the entrance" Mosquito suggests.

"The gates slammed shut remember?" Jimmy points out.

"We all knew when we signed on to be Coon friends that it might end like this." Craig sighs.

"Speak for yourself, I didn't sign a death contract" Dova grumbles to himself.

"Stay calm Super Craig, we are gonna get you home." Coon reassures him.

"Sorry Coon, but it looks like this was a one-way trip." Craig says officially giving up. What am I gonna tell Wonder Tweek?

"No, Super Craig No!" Coon says struggling against Fast Past who's trying to pull him back towards the rest of us.

"I'm starting to remember things from my past. Things I regret, people I wish I had been kinder to..." Craig says, life apparently flashing before his eyes or something.

"Someone get a god damn air compressor!" Cartman yells.

"I have an idea. Give me the sand thing." Dovahkiin says suddenly, holding out his hand for it.

"If you're going to stick it in your ass and fart I'd much rather die." Craig says.

"What? Ew no fucking gross. Why the actual fuck would I do that?" Dovahkiin says with absolute horror and disgust. "I'm gonna big bad wolf this shit gimme the thing."

"You are aware of how much lung strength someone would need to make that work?" I question him, hesitantly handing it over to him.

"You guys know that half grown tree that fell down at Stark's pond on a night with no wind? Yeah that was a full moon and I got curious at how much Huff I could actually puff." Dovahkiin replies.

"No fucking way dude. I doubt-" and it fucking worked. Lava was flown everywhere and Super Craig was knocked back.

"Jesus Christ you really are the big bad wolf."  Mosquito says in shock.

Coon rushes towards Super Craig whose trying to sit himself up. "What... what the fuck just happened?" He asks.

"Dovahkiin stuck the tube in his mouth and cleared away all the lava." Cartman replies.

"Oh."

"You alright there dude? You're kinda wheezing." I asked looking at the hunched over wolf boy. He just gives me a thumbs up in reply. "We probably shouldn't do that all that often." He nods in agreement.

"You guys go and get Chaos. I've gotta stabilize Super Craig." Cartman says shooing us away before pulling out a needle and stabbing Craig with it.

"Ow fuck!"

"It's cool."

"What the fuck was that you asshole!?" Craig yells at him.

"It's an intracradiac injections I had to stabilize you Super Craig!" Cartman's dumbass replies.

"Cartman what the actual fuck is wrong with you?" Dovahkiin croaks out pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Are you Fucking serious right now? You could've Fucking killed me!" Craig yells at him.

"Where the hell did you even get that Cartman?" I ask.

"Online. Super Craig just stay still you've suffered a lot."

"Yeah a lot from your stupidity." Dova grumbles, seemingly having finally regained his breath.

Cartman ignores him and continues, "You guys just go ahead I'm just gonna try and stabilize him."

"Not completely sure I trust you with that but fine whatever." Dovahkiin says rolling his eyes and throwing up his arms in defeat while walking away.

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END OF CHAPTER 17
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An: oh hey look I actually managed to finish this on time to double update yaaaaaay! Chapter 18 only has like 25 words in it at the moment but that's fine.

Now I have an excuse for myself to put off doing the index cards for my oral book report that I'm giving on the 24th! That's right a fucking book report. I'm a senior in a high school AP lit class and I have to give a book report.

I'd much rather have written my own story or a poem or something but nope. Had to read a book from a list and do a book report. Why was that easier to do in 3rd grade? Or was it 2nd? Idfk.

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed and if you did boop that vote (give me the fucking prediction for 'button' phone you do it for literally every other part of this cringed ass author note outro) button and mayhaps cough up a comment.

I shall see you guys in two weeks(probably). Au revoir little biscuits.

🐻Cookie out 🐻

my printer just scared the shit out of me.