_|_Craig's POV_|_

The Coon has called us all back to the Coon Lair again because apparently we have gotten all the information we need for our next mission.

Once Dovahkiin has told PC Principal his type of white™ and he's returned to the Coon Lair we begin our meeting.

"Alright everyone, Alpha Wolf has interrogated Classi and has  discovered that our next lead is at the U-Stor-it. We need to infiltrate it tonight." Coon informs us.

"It can't be done."

"Why not Mosquito?"

"Because the U-Stor-it entrance is all lava." He responds.

"The whole thing is fucking lava!? Shit! There has to be a way to get passed it."

"I could try and climb the fence." Muttbutt suggests.

"Too dangerous. We don't know who or what is on the other side. We need all of our forces on this." The Coon dismisses him.

"There is...Toolshed." Human Kite murmurs.

"What does that donkey-fucker have to do with anything?" Coon asks in disgust.

"He's got a device that clears Lava remember? It's one of his super powers." Human Kite explains.

"Hey... And Toolshed said that he owes Dov a favor!" Fast Past points out.

"Well, looks like you're gonna come in handy again Alpha Wolf."

"Excuse me? Bitch I'm the most valuable one here." Dova grumbles. I mean he's not wrong.

"Super Craig! Write an anonymous email to Toolshed telling him that Alpha Wolf is ready to have his favor returned."

"Or he can just send him a text himself." I reply.

"Yeah I kinda already did that so." Dova shrugs.

"Whatever. Everyone go home and get in bed. We meet at the U-Stor-it tonight." Coon Orders.

We all get up and head out to go to our own houses.

"Oh yeah Dova, Kenny told me to tell you to actually fucking sleep tonight." Kyle says flicking the side of his head.

"Yeah yeah I'll try." He says with a yawn.

"Uh huh sure. I'll see you guys later." Kyle says waving goodbye.

"Why don't you just put in headphones and listen to music?" Clyde suggests.

"First of all, double set of ears." He says gesturing to them. "Second off I'll probably end up suffocating myself. And third of all I'm horrible at picking music that actually helps me sleep." He replies.

"Whatever dude just try to sleep. We don't need you just suddenly passing out randomly." I say waving bye to him once we've reached his house.

"He's gonna sleep through all our cl-classes again tomorrow isn't he?" Jimmy questions.

"Probably." I sigh.

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$~Stan's POV~$

"You didn't sleep did you?" I question the utter mess of my friend standing in front of me.

"I mean I was half asleep for a solid 40 minutes and then I actually slept for like 20 or something so I mean it's better than last night." He replies with a yawn.

"Your lack of sleep is going to be the death of you Dovahkiin." I say, shaking my head as we begin making our way to the U-Stor-it.

"Good. There's worse ways to go." He says stretching and yawning once more.

"If I tell you my superhero backstory you're gonna fall asleep on the spot aren't you?" I ask him.

"Probably." We then stop right before my house to see my dad Keying my mom's car and then her yelling at him to come inside.

"You know he's been acting dumber and dumber lately. Something is definitely going on around here."

"Yeah it would partially explain why my parents have suddenly been acting worse than usual but then again it's also a common occurrence with them." Dovahkiin says yawning once more.

"You sure you want to do this tonight dude? We can like do it tomorrow if you want." I say as we approach Mysterion's house. Once we get there I begin unscrewing the boards on the windows.

"Nah it's fine. So why are we breaking into my boyfriend's house?"

"Cause Mysterion has a shortcut to the north of town. As for the breaking in, he's off on his own mission right now." I explain.

"You're aware that I know where the spare key is don't you?"

"Well I do now." I say taking off the board. "Whatever. Come on let's go."

"They don't even have any drugs right now what the hell are they fighting over?" Dovahkiin grumbles as we pass by Mr. and Mrs. McCormick's room.

I simply shrug in response. "Come on there's a shortcut through his closet." 

"Kenny's hiding stuff in his closet?I thought we were done with that."

I roll my eyes at his remark and lead him through the hole and approach the lava.

"Okay so I'm gonna use my sandblaster to blast away the lava." I inform Alpha Wolf.

"Kay. Blast away."

I blast away the lava and walk through the hole in the fence only to be met with a bunch of homeless dudes.

"What are you kids doing? SoDoSoPa is ours now." The one in front of the secret tunnel says.

"Okay well we just want to pass through so." A.W. says.

"Yeah and that cardboard box is our secret tunnel and you're not gonna stop us from getting through!" I add.

"You're secret tunnel is our back patio!"

And now we're battling homeless people.

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]Dovahkiin's POV[

I am so fucking tiered. I hope we can get through this quickly. We reach the U-Store it and all the guys come out of nowhere. Cartman calls Stan a Butt fucking Traitor again, so on and so forth.

Even though he says he's here to help me and not them he helps us out anyways and glares at me.

"Wasn't my idea, I'm just going along with this bullshit." I respond and once all the others have headed through the gate I add a whispered "for now."

"Oh?" Tool shed says raising a brow and smirking at me.

"Yeah. Don't know how imma do this but I'm gonna figure something out." I say before following Kyle's instructions to fan out and look for the cats.

After awhile I find a tin foil mask? "Um guys, who deals with tin foil?" I ask. The moment the words come out of my mouth lights and monitors start lighting up and Butters is on them. Um okay? He's evil laughing now. Oh yeah he's supposed to be a bad guy.

"Hello Coon- oh hi Dova!" Butters says waving at me. I confusedly wave back. "Ahem, as I was saying,Hello Coon friends!"

"Coon and friends!" Coon corrects.

"Come into my parlor! I've bought tin foil and more minions than you can ever fathom! I've been given $20,000 to keep nosy people away from this place."

"So is this real or did I pass out at some point and now I'm dreaming?" I mumble out while Butters continues to rant back and forth with Cartman. Both Craig and Stan pinch me in response.

"Ow. That wasn't an invitation you fucks. Why are there hamsters?" I ask looking down at the plastic ball incased rodents.

"They're Professor Chaos's minions. We're you not paying attention Alpha Wolf?" Scott scolds me.

"I'm sorry I was too busy trying to decipher whether or not I was delusional because who in the actual fuck gave Butters all that money and who in their right mind uses that money to buy this crap?"

"God dammit. Whatever, let's just find what we're looking for and get out of here." Cartman orders.

Is no one else concerned with this shit? Of course they're not they just want to find a fucking cat. Alright time to ignore everything around us to find a cat for whatever reason. I need to get some friends that aren't completely insane.

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END OF CHAPTER 16
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An: Hi hey hello I live. Yeah so it's been a minute.... and 6 centuries but there's several only somewhat half asses reasons for that! Well one of them isn't actually half assed at all.

So let's start with that one yeah? To put it short I lost a friend. No they didn't fuck me over in any way or suddenly leave or anything like that. Well I guess she technically did but it wasn't by choice. She was kinda sorta murdered along with her mother.... yeah crazy.

So with that along side my already built up plethora of stress that only kept on rising with the approach of end of semester finals, holidays, and countless cases of arguing parents I was a bit occupied if you will. Writing and updating this story was kinda the last thing on my mind you know?

I could've and honestly should've been updating these passed few weeks but I didn't want to post without the next chapter or two being ready so to make up for that I'm (probably) gonna post two today. At the time that I'm writing this author note it is January 9th so I should be able to write the next couple of chapters at least. I mean it's been ages since Fractured but whole came out and here I am not even half way through. Ah well.

If you guys did enjoy this chapter then boop that vote button with your nose and mayhaps cough up a comment!

Hopefully next time won't take 60 years and I will see you in a couple of weeks! And happy very belated *Insert winter holiday you celebrate* and New Years! Au revoir little biscuits!

🎊Cookie out🎊