]Dovahkiin's POV[

After totally not falling asleep on a bench at stark's pond, going through the whole gender and sexuality bullshit, and dealing with the asshole rednecks, Craig asks me to meet him in front of Tweek Bro's and refuses to say why.

I wish Pete luck on the counselor bullshit in passing before heading to the coffee shop. Apparently PC Principal threatened to drag all four of the partially goths into the office along with their parents if they didn't go on their own.

"Alright Craig, what's up. Are we making up w-"

"No we are retrieving my laptop. That asshole still has it. Go tell him to fucking give it back." Craig cuts me off.

"Seriously? You're making me be your messenger?"

"Yes now go fetch." I stand just glare at him in response. "Come on Dova you know it'll only end up being a screaming match if I go in there! I'd do the same for you."

"Except you wouldn't need to cause I'm not gonna break up with Kenny, especially not over something as stupid as this."

"Just get me my laptop dude."

"What's the magic word?"

"Well it's Tuesday so, turquoise."

"Wow you actually memorized my magic word list." I say impressed.

"Course I did. How else am I gonna get you to do shit?" He responds.

"Feed me. That's what Stan, Kyle, and Pete do." I say with a shrug. I then proceed to head inside and go to the back of the shop.

"Heya Tweek." I say with a smile

"Gah! What's he want." Well that was quick.

"What do-" Tweek cuts me off with a glare and an eyebrow raise. "Okay fine he wants his lap top."

"And I-I want my guinea pig."

"Um? Isn't he both of your guys' guinea pig?"

"Technically it was b-but I'm the one who paid for Stripe! Gah! Look I even have the receipt!" He says handing it to me.

"Mm. Okay so what am I supposed to do about this exactly?"

"Tell that Dick that if he wants his laptop back, he's got to give me back Stripe first! Gah!"

"Ugh fine. God I hate playing messenger." I head back out receipt in hand. "He wants Stripe back."

"What?"

"He says he won't give you back your laptop until you give back Stripe."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Fucking, Fine! You know where his cage is, go get him!"

"Why do I have to go get him?"

"Cause you're gonna have to hand him off to him anyways! Also when you do that can you let him know that when you walk out on someone you don't get to make the rules!"

"You guys are so stupid!" I shout as I make my way to Craig's house.

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_|_Craig's POV_|_

Dovahkiin flips me off on his way back inside, Stripe in hand. This is still fucking stupid. What the hell am I gonna do about my ultimate now? Ugh stupid fucking Tweek! Stupid Fucking Freedom pals! Stupid Fucking Civil war! Stupid fucking me.

Why didn't I just follow him? Why didn't I just convince Coon go give him a movie so that he'd stay? And Why is Dovahkiin dragging him out here? Hold the fuck up.

"Stop! I'm not gonna-GAAAH DOVAHKIIN LET ME GO! WHERE ARE WE EVEN GOING!" Tweek yelling becomes clearer as Dovahkiin opens the glass door and continues to drag him against his will.

"I told you to get my laptop not my fucking ex what the hell dude!?" Dov just ignores me and grabs me by the arm and starts dragging me as well.

"OI! WHAT THE FUCK FLUFF ASS!?" I yell at him.

"Shush I'm helping."

"HOW THE FUCK IS THIS HELPING!?" Tweek and I yell at the same time. We then proceed to glare at each other, both of us trying to get out of Dova's grip.

"CAN Y-YOU AT LEAST TELL U-US WHERE WE ARE GOING?" Tweek yells at him.

"If you'd stop trying to deafen me with your yelling then yes." He responds with a wince.

"Fine, where are we going?" I growl out.

"Couples counciling with Mr. Mackey."

"WHAT!?" We yell again.

"Oooowww sheesh. Stop with the yelling!"

"I-I AM NOT GOING TO FUCKING C-COUPLES COUNCILING WITH THIS A-ASSHOLE!" Tweek yells.

"OH RIGHT FUCKING BACK AT YOU, YOU BITCH!"

"ENOUGH! You guys have yet to actually fucking talk, key word being talk, since you broke up. All you've done is yell and scream that it's the other person's fault. That's not how you solve things." Dova lectures us.

"This is just gonna be a waste of fucking time." I groan.

"It might not be!" Dov insists.

"N-Not when you have an unreasonably asshole like Craig-"

"Oh I'm the unreasonable one?"

"Hey hey hey what the fuck did I just say!?" Mutt Butt says turning back to glare at us.

"Fucking fine. But you're staying with us through this crap since it was your idea." I say, knowing there's no point in arguing with him.

"Technically this was Mr.Tweak's idea. Though I did briefly think about it jokingly."

"W-what!? My dad put you up to this? Ugh!" Tweek groans.

Dovahkiin drags us into the school and to Mr.Mackey's office. He knocks on the door before getting the Okay to come in.

"Oh hey boys. I know why those two are here but is there a reason you are Dovahkiin?"

"Just supporting my friends and trying to help them get through this." He is waaaay to happy and excited about this. He's never happy when talking to Mr.Mmkay but here he is all smiles and wagging tail.

"Oh I see. Well boys how about we go to the gymnasium mmkay for some therapy exercises?"

"Mmkay." Dova responds dragging us along with him again.

"I hate you so much right now." I grumble, glaring at the back of his head.

"Sure you do."

"Come on in boys, have a seat." Mr. Mackey say gesturing to a set of three chairs. Tweek and I sit on either ends while Dov rolls his eyes at us and sits in the middle.

"And I'm the childish one."

"Shut up."

"Ok, apparently we're having a little quarrel, mmkay. Luckily you two have finally agreed to some counseling mmkay so now we can hopefully solve the issues mmkay. So... Craig, What do you want to say to Tweek?"

Fuck you. "I think he has some stuff he should say to me." I say eyeing past Dov and at Tweek. What a baby, he's crossing his arm and looking up at the ceiling and away from me.

"Mmkay, mmkay Tweek you wanna start maybe?" Mr. Mackey suggests.

"I have nothing to say if that's his attitude." Tweek replies, still looking away from me.

"God dammit." Dova growls out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Mmkay, mmkay, well um... Dovahkiin maybe you should share some of your thoughts."

"I think they are both being incredibly stupid over nothing and should at the very least talk to each other rather than scream or ignore." Dova says glaring at us both. Well that got Tweek to look over.

Tweek scoffs before saying "It's not over nothing! He-"

"Shut it." Dova day putting his hand up. "I've heard you guys screaming it enough I know what happened and your both overreacting."

"Mmkay so um what exactly did happen?"

"That is classified information." I say crossing my arms.

"Right well, mmmmmay this isn't really going that well... hmm Mmkay I wanna do an exercise with you. I have some kids here to help us out."

"Okay what exactly are we gonna have to do?" I ask wanting to just get this shit over with and say I told you so to Dov.

"Mmkay well you see boys when we're trying to have some therapy the first thing we need to do is- is to take out our Resentments mmkay." Mr Mackey says completely ignore if my question. "So uh Resentments come out. Come on out over.... come over, Resentments."

"Oh my fucking god." Dovahkiin mumbles as some 5th grader with a shirt that says RESENTMENTS on it walks up to us. He then talks about expectations and calls out another 5th grader, and then the same thing for accusations, victimization, and withdrawal.

What the fuck is happening and what does this have to do with anything what so ever?

"Now you've gotta learn to overcome all these things, mmkay. Are you ready?"

"W-Wait ready f-for what? Gah!"

"To overcome all of these things. You ready? GO FUCK 'EM UP! THERE THEY ARE! RIGHT THERE, TWEEK AND CRAIG! YOU GO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF 'EM! YOU TOO DOVAHKIIN!"

What. Are we seriously fighting against a bunch of 5th graders now?

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]Dovahkiin's POV[

How in the actual fuck did that work? We literally just beat up a bunch of 5th graders and they got back together and did a really gay ultimate. Whatever it worked somehow and now they are together again.

Which means my plan to switch sides can finally begin. First I need to come up with a plan to switch sides and then execute it. "Alright I- and you're already kissing. Well bye then."

Craig says bye through the form of a middle finger and I head off to find something else to do.

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END OF CHAPTER 14
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An: I didn't forget to update, you forgot to update... I need to get my shit together... *Continues to lie around the house doing nothing*

Ahem... Anyways I hope you enjoyed this incredibly late update and if you did boop that vote  (Phone: *still refuses to suggest the word button to me*) button with your nose and mayhaps cough up a comment. Also for my fellow Americans, Happy day before thanksgiving!

I shall (hopefully on time) see you guys later. Au revoir little biscuits!

🦃Cookie out🦃