]Dovahkiin's POV[

I slept in literally all my classes. Yaaaaaaay. I'll have to ask Kenny for notes and shit later or something. Also, apparently Mr.Mackey made an announcement saying that he had made a few mistakes and requested that everyone whose already gone through the gender shit come back so that "we can talk about sexuality because apparently sexuality and gender are two different things." So I've got to go do that at some point. Yaaay. And now PC Principal also wants us to talk to him about race. I've already got shit to do and I haven't even set a foot outside of the school yet.

"Psst. Dova!" Cartman not so secretly waves me over as I'm about to walk out of the school. Yay more shit for me to do.

"What do you want?" I ask, following up with a yawn.

"Go change into your costume and then wait for a message, from the coon." He then proceeds to walk away. Wow okay I mean I was just gonna change and actually go to the coon lair but all right.

I change in the school bathroom and avoid any of the people still here and to avoid any judgement or questions. Despite my efforts, Michael still saw me and gave me a mixed look of disgust and confusion. Not sure why he even questions it at this point. Then again I question a lot of things still when I really should be used to it by now.

As soon as I step out of the school I get a call from The Coon™. "Alright Alpha Wolf, it's time we get the information we need from Classi. Any good superhero should know how to interrogate. Get over to Jimmy's house and find out what she knows."

I yawn out an okay and begin making my way towards Jimmy's house. I enter and Classi is sitting on the couch, filing her nails.

"Oh hey it's you. Shit you look even worse than last night honey. Did you sleep at all?"

"Last night? No not really. In all of my classes? Oh yeah." I say stretching.

"Well I don't really blame ya. That was some fucked up shit happenin' last night. Hey Fast Past, one of your Superhomies is here!" Heh superhomies.

"Oh hey Dovahkiin. The Coon told me he wants you to question the witness so go ahead. Have at it." Jimmy says setting a drink on the table.

"Alright, Classi mind telling us what the actual fuck is going on with all the cat abductions and crap?"

"Look I know y'all need my help 'n shit and you got enough of your own problems, but I ain't talking till I get my medication." Classi says pulling out a slip of paper.

"Your medication?" Both Jimmy and I question.

"Yeah, I can't think straight without my medication! You gotta go pick up my pesciption Alright?" She says handing me the paper. Also, pesciption. I think there's a couple 'r's missing there.

"Until you get my prescription, I ain't tellin' you little heroes fuck all nothing." If she 'ain't tellin us nothing' wouldn't that mean she'd tell us something? I would bring up her double negative but something tells me she either wouldn't get it or she'd beat my ass. Or both. Probably both.

"Well... alright fine. Looks like you've got more work to do Dova."

"Why you always makin him do the shit? Make the fat one do it! He need the exercise, this one needs sleep." Classi questions. "Or is it because you the only smart one?"

"Alpha Wolf is the only o-one that can think out of the box because he doesn't full on role play. T-that and he can pick out the things that aren't normal s-since he hasn't lived in South Park all his life." Jimmy explains.

"Yeah pretty much. We'll go with that." I say. It's definitely not the fact that half of the guys are legitimately stupid. Or oblivious. Or both. Like Kyle might be book smart but he's not always smart smart. And he's oblivious as hell.

"Well I'm gonna head out now I guess." I say rolling my neck a bit. There was a pop there. Fun.

"Wait a minute Dova. Before you head out into the world, I wanna show you something that might help your crime fighting. Let's get to my room f-fast." He says speed running us to his room. How do they have actual powers occasionally again? I asked Kenny about it earlier and he said he had no fucking idea. Like he legitimately ran us up here and Timmy legitimately teleported before.

Like just- okay no not getting worked up about this. Don't need Jimmy thinking I'm scared of stairs like Butters thought I was scared of coffee for an entire fucking year. Like he fucking gasped and cheered when he saw I was drinking coffee and congratulated me on overcoming my fear. Luckily Tweek was right next to me and put some truth behind my explanation.
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Mini flashback
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"Butters what th-the fuck are you talking about? Dovahkiin has been drinking coffee from the shop for the past 5 months." Tweek says staring at Butters.

"Huh? But when we had been about to enter the shop the first time to call you into battle Dova freaked out." Butters explains.

"Butters, that's because you had just said Craig was in jail when he was in detention. I got confused by the level of role play you were in. Especially when you kinda just switch the role play mode on and off." I explain.

"But then-"

"And then I was annoyed because you thought I was terrified of fucking coffee." I say taking a sip of my coffee to emphasize.

"O-oh. That... that makes more sense."

"D-did you seriously think he was afraid of coffee all this t-time?" Tweek asks. Butters just nods in response. I then proceed to face palm at Butters stupidity.

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Ah shit, Jimmy was talking about stuff while I've just been standing under a thing. When I do nothing but blink at him he tells me to update my artifacts app and I can do more shit there.

I do just that and then proceed to head out to do get Classi her medication. I glance at the paper she gave me and it's for fucking weed. Of course.

I then hear a couple blips from sirens and look up to see a cop car. Oh shit Cartman and his bullshit is gonna get me thrown in jail again. Though I guess last time wasn't exactly his fault and it was really just bad timing and me losing control but still. Shit this is bad. FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck.

"Hey kid your that wolf vigilante from the news right?"

"I might be. Why do you ask." I say warily, trying not to stutter or start hyperventilating. Then again I should probably still breathe but meh. Air is over rated.

"The sergeant wants to have a few words with you over at the station." Well I'm fucked. The cop guy drives away and I'm left to try and hold in a panic attack. I think about what the guys said at school and decide to give Kenny a call just to give him a warning if not anything else.

It rings a few times before he answers. "Hey What's up? I'm a little busy."

"So uh I might be going to jail. Honestly not sure yet but uh-"

"Wait what? What the fuck do you mean? What happened? Where are you?"

"I'm heading to the police station. I'm not 100% sure what's going on, but a cop just pulled up to me and said the sergeant wanted to talk to me and now I'm kinda freaking out."

"What's going on?" I hear the voice of Stan in the background. So he is a Freedom Pal. That's what I had thought but you never know.

"The sergeant wants to talk to Dova."

"Gah! Like the police sergeant? Why does he want to talk to Dovahkiin? Oh my god he's gonna arrest him for wh-whatever the hell they were doing last night!"

"Okay yeah, hearing Tweek relay my worries to me doesn't help but I'm just gonna go and hopefully I won't be arrested but there's a high possibility that I will. Just thought you should know. Love you Kenny. Bye." I say reeeeally quickly cause I'm like freaking out right now and that didn't help me at all. This is why I keep my problems to myself and the voices in my head.

"Wait Dov-"

|•|Kenny's POV|•|

I stare down at my phone that's now beeping and says the call has ended. "God dammit Tweek he was already freaking out and now you freaked him even out more!"

"Gah! I'm sorry! I forgot he legit had superhearing! Gah! So much pressure!"

"I mean there's no way they are actually going to arrest him for that are they?" Stan questions.

"You've got to remember that this is the South Park police were talking about, and Dova does have a criminal record already. Even if it was just the one crime it was a big ass crime." Token points out.

"You know you guys aren't making me freak out any less about my boyfriend possibly going to fucking jail AGAIN." I say, gripping my phone and praying for him to give me another call.

"I'm sure everything will work out Kenny." Stan says patting my shoulder.

"It fucking better."

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]Dovahkiin's POV[

Okay so they won't let me call Kenny to tell him "hey I'm not going to jail, they just gave me a mission!" And now I'm hunting down a supposed king pin of crime. I didn't notice this at first, but the place they marked on the map kinda looks like Nicole's house.

Wait there's no fucking way. They aren't actually- they are serious. I'm stood in front of Nicole's house and I am getting the call from the sergeant.

"Okay you're approaching the hideout. Find a way in but be careful, he's probably armed to the teeth. Therm-"

"No he's not." I cut him off.

"What? How do you know? Thermal-"

"This is my fucking friend's house. I'm not doing this shit. Nicole's Dad hasn't done anything wrong you racist fuck." I growl.

"Hey hold on-" I hang up on the annoying cop and block his number. I'm not dealing with that. I start heading towards the weed shop and call Kenny as I'm going.

"Oh thank fuck! Dova what's going on?"

"The fucking cops sent me on a dumbass mission and they wanted me to fucking arrest Nicole's Dad. Tried to say he was a fucking crime king pin or some shit. So now I'm pissed cause I got stressed out and stressed you out over nothing." I say trying  and failing to remain calm.

"Oh my fucking- why are they so fucking fucked up? Okay well you sure you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, like I said I'm just pissed off."

"Okay well I'm glad you're okay. Try not to stress out to much."

"Yeah yeah. I'll talk to you later Ken."

"Alright. See ya Dovy love you mwah."

"I'm gonna barf"

"Love you too Kenny. Tell Stan to fuck himself."

"Dova says to go fuck yourself."

"Love you too Dovy mwah! Hugs and kis- Ow okay okay I'm sorry!"

I roll my eyes and let out a chuckle. "Alright I gotta do some more shit now. Later Mysterion."

"Goodbye Alpha Wolf."

Okay why is the mysterion voice kinda hot? Whatever moving on. How the Fuck am I gonna get into the weed place? There's fucking guns and shit. Why are there guns and shit anyways? Ugh. How the fuck am I supposed to-

I'm being surrounded by Raisins girls. What in the actual fuck.

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END OF CHAPTER 11
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An:  I updated on time woooo! Also I took my second SAT on Saturday day booo! But today was pajama day and I got to wear my unicorn with wings onesie for the first time and it was sooooo soft woooo! But I'm not anymore because it got too hot and I was sweating  booo!

Moral of the story: happiness is out weighed by disappointments. At least for me anyways. Or maybe that's just my mostly pessimistic attitude to my existence specifically.

Optimistic for my friends, Pessimistic to myself till the end.
Self-deprecation for the win,
But please don't commit the same sin.
You right wonder full poems with rhymes and schemes
Mine are filled with disappointing shit.

Enough crappy poetry, I hope you guys enjoyed the actual story portion of this chapter and if you did boop that vote button with your nose and mayhaps cough up a comment!

I shall see you all later!
Au revoir little biscuits~

🦄Cookie out🦄