$~Stan's POV~$
"Fucking ow." I say once the call has ended.

"Did I slam you too hard? Sorry." Dovahkiin apologizes.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I reply.

"Ok they're probably gonna be coming over here to see what the fucks going on. I mean they seemed pretty panicked and freaked." Kyle says getting up. "So we either let them know it was a prank or..."

"Or we carry it out." Butters finishes.

"I'll go put on my disaster clothes then." Dovahkiin says going outside, dragging in his shit and heading into the bathroom. We quickly make some rips and tears in his clothes, pour fake blood here and there, and use a red marker to make his 'wounds.'

We drag him through the snow a bit to make it look like he's been dragging himself and put a little fake blood leading to him.

We decide to repeat this process with Craig except more brutal and he's only half way down the porch and 'missing an arm.'

The rest of us then arm ourselves with silly string and hide around Kyle's yard where the girls won't see us. Soon enough we hear a few screams and the girls start running towards the slowly crawling 'on his death bed' Dovahkiin.

"OH MY GOSH DOVA! WHA-WHAT HAPPENED?" Annie yells, breaking off into tears. Dovahkiin then croaks something out but I'm too far to hear.

"Don't worry I'm-Im going to call an ambulance!" Red cries out beginning to pull out her phone. Shit.

This time I'm just able to hear Dovahkiin. "No! I-it's too late for me. Listen to me guys," he pauses. What the girls don't know is that that's our signal to get ready.

"Dovahkiin... Don't go into the light! Stay with us!" Annie says shaking him. Luckily Red has given up. Guess she figures he's a goner.

"Listen to me..." Dovahkiin says. He slowly starts to smile aaaaaannnnnd, "It's just a prank bro." He says at normal volume quickly getting up and running away and out of the line of fire.

The rest of us all come out of our hiding places and bombard them. We then all bolt once the shock has resided and the initial screams of "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!" And rage initiate. We all run inside, and lock the doors, and the Windows.

We all burst out laughing and occasionally yelling out "We're sorry!" Or "It was just a prank bro!"

"YOU HAD US SCARED SHITLESS YOU DICKWADS!" Annie screams.

"THIS IS WHY I BROKE UP WITH YOU STAN!" Wendy yells. She says that as if it wasn't two years ago.

"IT WAS A MUTUAL BREAK UP WENDY, SO I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" I shout back between laughs.

"FUCK YOU GUYS!" Bebe.

"I SWEAR ONCE IM DONE WITH YOU FUCKERS, YOU'RE GONNA WISH THAT SOME MONSTER ACTUALLY DID COME AND MAUL ALL OF YOU ASS HOLES! ESPECIALLY YOU THREE, PETE, MICHAEL, AND FIRKLE!" Very pissed Henrietta.

"THEY FORCED ME TO!" Firkle yells.

"THATS A BIG FUCKING LIE!" Michael and Pete shout at the same time.

"ALL OF YOU ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER GET GIRLFRIENDS!" Heidi.

"WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A GIRLFRIEND WHEN YOU'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND!?" Craig and Dovahkiin retaliate.

"I HOPE ALL OF YOU LOSE YOUR DICKS IN BEAR TRAPS!"  And there's Red.

"WE DONT HAVE DICKS!" Tricia and Karen shout out laughing.

"FUCK ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES! WE'LL GET OUR REVENGE FOR THIS!" They all yell at once.

So naturally we all yell back "OK THATS NICE!"

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]Dovahkiin's POV[

"They are going to hate us for the rest of our High school years and beyond." I say once I'm sure they are gone. The 5th graders all retreated back upstairs shortly after our response to the girls.

"I mean they already hate me sooooo...." Fat ass replies shrugging.

"Oh well, whatever. They'll get over it eventually." Clyde says shrugging.

"And by that you mean 20 years right?" Craig asks jokingly.

"No that's just when they start to only bring it up occasionally." Token responds.

"Yeah they won't actually fully get over it until like 70 years have past. Or till at least one of us has died. Whichever comes last." Kenny says shrugging.

"Nah. Even then they'd bring it up at the funeral." Kyle says chuckling.

We all laugh a bit more until silence consumes us for a few minutes. But what breaks the silence isn't one of us saying something, no what breaks the silence is fucking Eric farting.

"Aw nasty!" Michael says plugging his nose and waving his hand in front of his face.

"Aww sick dude!" Kyle complains, getting up and backing away from Eric, plugging his own nose.

"Nope! I'm out!" I say speed walking out of the living room and into the kitchen.

"Aww god damn it Cartman!" Token says getting up and walking away.

"Oh hamburgers that sounded like a big one too!" Butters crys out also fleeing.

"Ahh every one run, I think another UFO has crashed but this time it's leaked toxic gass!" Stan jokes also fleeing into the kitchen.

"I think a nuke might've gone off as well Jesus!" Craig says coming along with everyone else into the semi safety of the kitchen.

"Screw you guys!" Cartman yells at us.

"You're going home? Great that means we won't have to deal with you and your deadly toxins!" Kenny yells back.

"We won't have to deal with your farts either." Pete adds on. Natural we laugh at that remark. Well Fatty didn't but eh.

"Fuck off you fucking whores!" He yells stepping into the kitchen.

"Ahh! No! It's coming towards us! R-RUN!" Tweek yells.

We all run out of the kitchen halfheartedly fake screaming and yelling. We end up just running around the yard which eventually evolved into tag. And now we've some how made that hide and go seek tag.

I honestly think it's kinda stupid but whatever. Good luck tagging me Stan because I'm in a tree and can easily just jump down if he starts to climb up it.

My god, we are such 5th graders. We're the bodies of freshmen (sophomore in Michael's case), mentality of a 5th grader with the thoughts of High Schoolers and bits of college students. Oh yeah and we still get the hormones of course because fuck life.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS!?!?" I hear Stan yell. Had he found/caught no one?"

"Hi honey I'm home!" I hear Craig whisper. Is he in the tree next to me, or in the bushes below? I look around but I can't seem to find him.

"Pft. Look up. Down a little. Hi." Craig says instructing me. He's on the fucking roof.

"How the fuck did you get up there?" I ask.

"Climbed the fence, jumped on the garage, and jumped up onto the roof. May or may not have cut myself." He says looking down at his jeans.

"We probably should've changed our clothes huh?" I say glancing down at my attire.

"Yeah. This makes it kinda hard to tell what's fake and what's an actual cut." He replies shifting.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" We hear Pete screaming. I look down to see that he's running down the street, being chased by Stan, Kyle, and Cartman whose kinda just walking after him and looking around.

Craig goes up the roof more and lays flat while I just back up closer to the trunk.

"DAMN IT!" I hear Pete yell from down  the street.

I see Craig gesture to below me and I look down. Cartman is right underneath me looking in the bushes.

"What the?" I see him start to go on the other side of the tree and I watch as someone blonde dashes out.

Butters. "EY! GET BACK HERE BUTTERS!" Cartman yells running after him. I hold back a snicker as I hear butters scream. Probably ran into someone else.

"Dude, jump over here he's  totally gonna sell you out!" Craig whisper shouts at me.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!" I hear Butters yell. And there he goes!

"AH FUCK IT!" I hear Pete say. Crap right below me again.

"Who would have thought that Butters could not only run so fast, but fucking juke and swerve away like that as well." Stan says panting along side Pete.

"I know right." Pete says looking in the direction Butters ran. "Hey, have you checked in the trees yet?" He asks. Fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuuuuuuck.

"Oh damn no I haven't. Why?" Stan asks.

Pete then walks up to the tree next to me and starts looking up it. "Just thought it'd be a good hiding spot.

"Didn't even think of that." No bad Stan! Get away from this tree!

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_|_Craig's POV_|_
Well RIP Dovahkiin. I mean I guess they've gotta tag him but there's two of them so don't see how he's gonna get away. I mean I guess he could jump on the roof but that'll sell me out. He'd better not.

"Oh hi Dova!" Stan says beginning to climb up the tree.

"No bad Stan! Get off the tree!" He scolds Stan.

"Good Stan! Climb the tree!" Pete praises.

Once Stan's about 2/3 up the tree Dovahkiin hops to another branch, jumps into the tree next to him, jumps down, and fucking runs like hell. Well now he's got a Hell hound after him. And a pissed off Stan who jumps out of the tree.

Well now I'm alone. Yaaay.
I have no fucking clue where Dovahkiin went nor do I think Stan or Pete.

"What in the actual fuck man!? How the hell did he do that!?" Stan shouts. Yep Dov is just gone.

"I knew he was fast but Jesus how did he just fucking disappear?"  Pete questions. I then hear a noise like someone getting on the roof next to me. I turn my head and there's Dovahkiin, pulling himself up the side of the roof.

I glance down to see that Pete and Stan have gone. I crawl over to Dovahkiin and help him up. Thing is, he didn't come up the side the garage is on.

"How the hell did you get up here?" I ask.

"I may or may not have jumped through a window on the side of the house, run upstairs and jumped up through a window." He whispers back.

"Pfft wow. Hey are you like, insanely cold because I am." I whisper to him.

"Yeah. We really shouldn't be out here in these clothes. Maybe we should go on a mission to get blankets or something later." Dov suggests.

"Good idea."
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                     Time Skip
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|•|Kenny's POV|•|

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY!?!?" Cartman yells. Ok so literally everyone but Dovahkiin and Craig have been found and tagged. Oh Yeah and it's also 4 o 'clock in the evening. The game started at 1:15.

((Friendly reminder Most of the characters of South Park are American, and so am I just Incase there's any confusion on time because idk))

"Surely they can't be outside right? I mean its fucking cold as shit and they are wearing ripped up clothing." Token says walking outside and looking around.

"I-I-Is anyone else getting ki-kinda worried? Like wha-what if we don't find them? What if th-they freeze to death?! AH TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek yells out.

"Ok yeah, Tweek's gotta point. Maybe we should give up. If we just yell that out I'm sure at least Dovahkiin will be able to hear it. Then he can help us sniff out Craig if needed." I say. Honestly I'm also starting to get kinda freaked out. Then again I'm also kinda thinking that maybe the girls got them or something and are holding them hostage.

"Yeah I'm really tired of running and looking." Stan sighs. He then cups his hands before yelling out into the now darkened street, "DOVAHKIIN!CRAIG!WE GIVE UP YOU WIN! "

"YAY! Catch me!" I hear Dovahkiin yell. I then watch as Stan whirls around looking up as Dovahkiin jumps down onto him, sending them down into the snow.

"AHH!" Tweek screams.

"Yeaaaah, I'm not doin that. I'll find a different way down." We look up to see Craig on the roof. With a shit ton of blankets.

"Ah! Craig! How did-?" Tweek begins to question but gets cut off.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT JESUS CHRIST ON A BIKE! FUCK ME!" Stan yells I look over to see both him and Dova curled into balls. Stan in pain, Dovahkiin in laughter, and I think a bit of pain.

"I DONT KNOW! Ow Ahahhahah fuck me" Dovahkiin shouts back between laugh crying.

"Are you guys alright? Like That's A pretty high fucking jump." Kyle says worried.

"YEAH I KNOW AND DOVAHKIIN IS A PRETTY FUCKING HEAVY GUY! FUCK ME ARG! MOTHER FUCKER!" Stan yells, sitting up and punching Dovahkiin in the shoulder and giving him a series of slaps on the back.

((^My friend used to do that to me and it hurts like a mother fucker. Slap thing that is.))

"Ow!" Dovahkiin cries emphasizing the W.

"Ow. Think I cut myself. Possible again I don't know. Hey Kyle can I like use your shower since I'm still covered in fake blood?" Craig says as he walks away from the garage. Guess that's how they got up there.

"Go ahead. Dovahkiin dooo- what are you doing?" Kyle asks as he turns to look at Dovahkiin who's.... rolling around in the snow like a dog and leavening splotches of red wherever he rolls.

"I mean that's one way of getting the blood off I guess. Probably isn't as effective though." Stan says watching him. Dovahkiin then gets up and shakes like a wet dog.

"To tell you the truth at first I just wanted to roll around a bit then realized it was a way to get the blood off." Dovahkiin admits. He then looks down at himself and at the ground. "Didn't really work too well though and now it just looks like someone/something walked by bleeding.

"Pfft good job. Now let's go inside before we get framed for murder." I suggest. We then head back inside where the others are waiting.

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END OF CHAPTER 3
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An: The sole reason this is late is because I kept forgetting to post this 😓 oops. Sorry. I mean I remember but like at 12:30 am after a long school day and I was too tiered to write an An....

Please don't kill me. I'm working on the fifth chapter right now. I would be even more ahead but I've kinda taken a liking to one of my not yet published stories because it's like got almost no plot so I can just do what ever with it. Although I've kinda putting a plot to it right now but ye...

Any who If you enjoyed this long awaited chapter, boop that vote button with your nose and maybe cough up a comment.

With that I'll be seeing you guys later. Au revoir little biscuits!
🎨Cookie Out🎨