Last night was awful. You were supposed to enjoy the rest of your evening thinking about how wonderful your classes would be today, but instead, your mind was flooded with a plethora of feelings you felt when your skin touch Snape's, then a wave of disappointment crashed into you as the look of disgust on his face sunk in, reminding you that he was not happy to finally meet you.

He was not waiting for his soulmate, whilst you were spending your whole life promising yourself that you would have your happily ever after you met him. How wrong you were for thinking that he would be delighted to see you.

The juxtaposition of his feeling and yours were killing you, and your chest tightened when you walked into the Great Hall and noticed the only empty seat was next to Severus Snape, your soulmate.

It was ironic when you trembled from fear as you sat beside your soulmate, when you were supposed to be trembling from happiness. You were not scared of him, but upon knowing he was not happy to see you, it made you think of why did he feel that way and what you had to do to make him like you.

Your fear of being pushed away by everyone was coming true as your soulmate did not even spare a glance at you, let alone smiling back as you gave him a smile. You bit the inside of your cheeks as you looked at your breakfast. Your stomach growled, begging you to eat but you could not bring yourself to eat as you could not stop thinking of what would happen now if Severus did not walk away yesterday.

Perhaps last night would end with him talking to you about everything, and you would tell him every single thing about your life too. And this morning, you and him would not have to sit in awkward silence, but you would be laughing about anything just because both of you were overjoyed to finally found each other.

Unfortunately, to the breaking of your heart, it did not happen that way.

You could still remember his words that you were the reason he lost her. Your stomach churned at the thought and you pushed your plate, your appetite was vanishing as you swallowed the fact that he was in love with another, and your presence as his soulmate would only hurt him and not heal him.  

You were not letting him ignore you and subconsciously hurting you. You knew you had to talk to him, as fate has brought you to him and there must be a reason behind it.

The teachers could feel the tension building up between you and Severus but there was nothing they could do. They knew Severus too well, and he was a hard headed man, he would never listened to them. But Minerva knew she had to do something, anything to see a genuine smile back on your face and the light of happiness in Severus' life. 

She let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose when she saw Severus stood up and left for his class, not even noticing how you stared longingly at him. 

Oh, how she wanted to murder Severus for making you feel bad about yourself. 

"Minerva, do you think I should talk to him?"

Her frown turned into a smile when you talked to her, confusion was laced in your voice. She shrugged, but her eyes told you everything.

"Perhaps you should."

She replied, and you took a deep breath, wanting to talk to Severus during your free period time of teaching later. The older witch could only pray the best for you, as she knew how stubborn the Potions Master could be and his words were the most dangerous poison in his possession.  

You tried to ignore the pain in your chest as you taught your students that day, with enthusiasm to make the learning interesting and memorable for them. You knew as a teacher, you should not bring your personal issues into your classroom, and you would hate to scowl at your student for your own problems. Hence, with a big smile to greet them, your classes went smoothly and for a moment, the thought of Snape was leaving your mind.  

You loved teaching here and you wanted to savour every moment you made in Hogwarts. But then it struck you that you had to talk to Severus, as he was a part of your life now, and he seemed to despise it.

You walked to his classroom, and as much as you wanted to keep your head up and smile proudly, you could not. You found yourself thinking of the worst thing that could happen when you talked to him, and trying to prepare yourself so you would not be hurt even more than you already were. 

You breathed in sharply and knocked on his door, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you heard his voice, asking you to come in. You walked into his empty classroom, noticing that he was preparing for his next class with his back turned to you and you started to wonder if it was a good choice to see him.    

"Severus." 

He tensed as he heard your voice, and you gulped when he turned around, his face hardened when he realised you were in his classroom. It was not hard to know that you were the last person he wanted to see at the moment.

He cleared his throat and walked closer towards you. Perhaps he was trying to intimidate you, but you really wanted to talk to him, hence nothing he did could change your mind and leave the room.

"It's Professor Snape to you."

He corrected you, and you were tempted to roll your eyes at him but it would make you just as immature as he was acting. You needed to talk this out like two adults, and not running away from it.    

"Professor Snape, we need to talk about yesterday."    

You looked him in the eyes, not wanting to surrender as his intimidating gaze burned on you. It was not easy to tell what he was thinking because his face showed no emotions, and you would be lying if you did not want to punch him, but it would sadly ruin his handsome features. 

You had to hold back a smile as you could still think about how dashing he actually was, but it was not the right time to drool over your soulmate when he wanted nothing to do with you.

"There is nothing to talk about, Professor L/N." 

His monotone voice was starting to annoy you, and you just wanted to discuss with him but he was too stubborn to see how important it was to you. You needed to teach him to be selfless for once, as this matter did not just mess with his life, but also yours.

"Of course, there is something to talk about. I'm your soulmate."

It was hurting you a little bit when he scoffed at your words, staring at you as if you were insane.

"A naive young professor with her silly dreams of soulmates. Do you realise how pathetic you are?"

He said, smirking as your face dropped and he knew he got under your skin. You shook your head in disbelief, as he could make fun of your dreams instead of making it come true with you. That was not what a soulmate should do. Your life was already messed up enough, and now it was becoming even worse than it already was. 

"You're my soulmate whether you like it or not. You cannot change it."

You told him, curling your hands in fists as anger bubbled in your chest. Why could not he explain his behaviour to you instead of continue to insult you like you meant nothing to him. He was your everything, long before you knew who he was, and what he was like. Your soulmate was your life, and it deeply hurt you when he thought so little of you, if not nothing.

"When are you going to realise that I do not care?"

He retorted, a mocking smile was on his face and he turned his back on you, walking back towards his desk. Your heart was aching as you nodded weakly, realising that Severus did not care about your bond with him, and he did not care about you. He was not even trying to hide it.   

"I just want you to know that I have been waiting for you for so long, Snape."

You knew there was no point of telling him, but you had to, and you could only let out a wistful sigh when he did not say anything to you. You heard the commotion outside and noticed it must be his next class.

"I'll leave you to your class, Professor Snape."  

You could not believe he was acting like nothing was happening, when your heart ran miles every time you saw him. It hurt you tremendously to know that he did not feel the same for his soulmate.  

You wanted to let out of your anger at him, but you knew you worth more than that and if he needed his time, then you would give it to him. You hoped in a few days he would stop being a coward and find himself discussing the whole thing with you. You wanted to know the reason behind his hatred towards you, but it seemed like it was tough to get it out of him in the way he was behaving.

Grabbing on the door handle, you glanced at him for the last time, hoping that he would finally come to his senses to talk about the matter properly instead of trying to burn it into ashes.

"If you ever grow a pair to talk about it, you can come to find me, Snape."

It humoured you with how quick he turned to look at you when your words got into his ears, but before he could say anything else you had already left his class, and his students flooded in, ready to start the lesson.

Severus gritted his teeth at your remark, and his poor students were not aware that they were going to face Professor Snape's wrath today since his mind was clouded with the thoughts of you and your words. But he told himself that he was not going to be manipulated by you, even if you never intended to manipulate him in the first place.

He surely had many negative things on his mind.

During dinner, you were glad you did not have to sit next to Severus. It was apparent that he did not care about you, and he did not fancy the idea of soulmates since you 'talked' to him today. Thus, you wanted to get it out of your mind and have a good time instead of moping around a man who was running from the truth instead of facing the reality.

Severus could see you talking to Hagrid who was sitting next to you, and you noticed he glanced at you once in a while but you decided to ignore it, not wanting to give him a chance to put you down that evening. You just wanted to enjoy your journey at Hogwarts, and you could not do it if your mind was busy thinking about him and his ways of pushing you away.

You listened carefully to Hagrid as he explained about the magical creatures, and you knew he was extremely interested in those things as his smile never left his face. Your evening was fine as you got to talk to Hagrid, your new friend and laughed with him, joy was seeping through your heart and your disappointment was buried deep within your soul. 

If Severus wanted to act as if nothing happened, you could do it too. But you knew  your happiness would disappear once you were alone again in the comfort of your bed, knees pressed against your chest and your mind started to push you into a pit of sorrow, far from everyone else, telling you repetitively that everyone did not want you, not even your soulmate.   

Your mind could be a dark place and you were well aware of it. But that night, you managed to pull yourself together and grabbed a book, reading it whilst slowly but painfully, you pushed the thought of Severus on the back of your mind, losing yourself in the riveting book and soon falling asleep soundly, hoping that tomorrow would be much better.