The school ground was not flooded with students as most of them were already on the train home. They had two weeks of break from school and of course they did not want to spend it in Hogwarts, if they had much better things to do at home. It was not the same case for a few students who decided to stay and study, but they were not lingering around the school ground as they only stayed in the library or their dormitories.

Thus the silence was something that the dark haired professor loved, without having to hear his students bickering about foolish things, and without needing to keep some of them in detention. He got to have his time for himself now that he did not have classes to teach, despite a bunch of papers which was waiting to be graded in his office. 

But truthfully, as the holiday started, Severus was only thinking of one thing, that he would be missing you if you went back home for the holiday.

He was getting used to being your friend, finally having someone to talk to and to listen to. You were such a good friend to him, the one he never knew he needed, and the fact that you were his soulmate was making things a lot better and much meaningful for him. Now he was not sure if he could go on a day without seeing your smile.

It was ironic for him to feel as if his world revolved around you now, when he used to convince himself that he hated you with all of his heart, but now he just wanted to be with you all the time.

Thinking that you might already on your way home now, Severus was contemplating to get out of bed. His fire to start the day died down when the thought of eating his breakfast alone was fogging his head. He was not a person who had a proper meal during the weekend, let alone during a long holiday because of his schedule, but since you became his friend, you made sure he did not skip his meals during the weekends.

Severus felt guilty to skip his breakfast now, knowing that you would be concerned if he did it. Sighing, he got out of his bed and decided to go and eat his breakfast.

He was not sure why he was feeling this way every time you were away from him, and he despised it, making him feel as if he was not strong enough without you, but at the same time he also adored it, making him feel like his heart was beating.

He almost dragged his feet towards the Great Hall, and his heart dropped when he saw you standing in his way, smiling at him. Without thinking twice, he walked over to you, a huge smile was painted on his face.

"Y/N, I thought you already went home."

He said, approaching you with excitement bubbling in his chest. If you did not go home, it meant that he would get to spend his time with you during the holiday, and he was going to treasure these two weeks properly. 

But you did not say anything to him, and his eyes widen when you vanished into the thin air when he tried to hold your hand. A scoff escaped his mouth when he realised that you were a just a fragment of his imagination, and his soul was missing yours way too much that his brain was playing a part in tricking his poor heart.

"What's happening to you, Severus?"

He muttered under his breath, cold sweats started to form on his forehead as he shook his head and looked around, hoping that no one was there to witness what he just did. Luckily, no one saw him trying to hold your invisible hand, and Severus quickly walked towards the Great Hall before his head could lie to him once again.

Walking into the Great Hall with a heavy heart, he saw you there, and you were eating your breakfast. He blinked his eyes a few times, cursing himself for being so attached to you now that he was seeing you everywhere, even when you were not there.

"Severus, why are you just standing there?"

Minerva's voice shook him from his thoughts and he looked at the older professor, before his eyes moved towards you who was smiling sweetly at him. Suddenly, he was not sure if it was really you, or his mind was just playing games with him again.

He squinted his eyes at you, trying to figure out if you were just in his head, and he saw your eyebrows knitted together when you noticed he was staring at you. He wanted to believe that you were real, but Minerva was not talking to you, and you were not talking to him, hence he concluded that he was imagining you.

"She's not here, Severus."

He whispered to himself, hoping that Minerva could not hear him but surprisingly, you heard him and you chuckled at his words.

"Who's not here?"

A wave of realisation washed over him as he heard your angelic voice, which he would recognise anywhere, knowing that you were really sitting in the hall, eating your breakfast, and you were not a hallucination.   

"No one."

He quickly responded, clearing his throat and taking a seat next to you, ignoring the questions in Minerva's eyes. When he glanced at the older witch, a smirk was dancing on her lips and a few moments later she excused herself, leaving Severus alone with you.

Severus found himself more comfortable to talk to you now that Minerva was gone, but he still could not believe that he was imagining you, and he almost embarrassed himself in front of you just now.

"Why didn't you go home for the holiday?"

He started, wanting to know the reason. He was sure you had a family waiting for you back home, unlike him who was used to spending his holiday alone in Hogwarts, even if he went back home, the loneliness would only feel harsher.

"This is my home now, Severus."

He nodded at your words, knowing that there must be something happening in your home but he did not want to ask, worried if he might hurt your feelings and it was the last thing he would do.

"What about you? Why don't you take some time out of here?"

"I don't have anyone back home, and it's better for me to stay here."

He answered casually, as he was used to being alone now. You chewed on your bottom lip, thinking how awful it must felt to live alone for so long. But at the same time, you knew it was no better than having parents who were always hating on you and finding your flaws.

"It's alright, I'm here for you now." 

You put a hand on his arm, and offered him a smile, not knowing how much better he felt when you comforted him.

"I'm here for you too."

He managed to get the words out of his mouth, and he would say it again if it meant that he could see the biggest smile on your face when you heard him. You looked so happy, and it made him happy too. 

"Do you have anything to do today?"

Your question sent joy flowing through his veins, acknowledging that perhaps you were keen to spend your time with him just as much as he wanted to. Shaking his head, he knew these two weeks of holiday would be amazing for him as he had you by his side. 

The weather was fairly nice in the evening, but when Severus suggested for you and him to take a walk near the Black Lake, he was not expecting you to accept it, considering he was still unsure with what position he held in your heart since everything happened, and he did not want to force you into anything that you were not interested in.

However, his expectation was far from the truth when you nodded vigorously, eager to walk there for the first time since you came to Hogwarts. You had heard about it so many times, but you just did not want to be there alone, and it would not hurt for you to spend some time with your soulmate.

Severus found himself opening up to you about his family, as both of you walked together along the shore, and you listened attentively to him, slowly understanding why he built his walls so high around others. 

"Sometimes it feels like I do not deserve to be happy because even when I was with them, I wasn't happy."

He said, surprising himself with how comfortable he was in telling you the truth of his dreadful home, and perhaps it was because you were his soulmate, and there was no one he trusted the most but you.

"My parents never showed me love."

His words stabbed you in the heart, reminding you much of yourself. Your parents were loving towards each other, but not towards you. It felt like they had something huge against you, and their vengeance would only be satisfied once they saw how broken you were.

"You deserve to be happy, Severus."

You said, sending a kaleidoscope of feelings fluttering in his chest, and he wondered if he could see you as a friend forever, because deep within his heart, he knew his feelings were growing stronger and there was no way of stopping them.

Just as he was drowning in his devastating thoughts, he did not notice that you were standing close to the lake at this point, a mischievous grin was emblazoned on your pretty face. He gasped dramatically when you splashed him with some water, taking him by surprise.

"You're so dramatic, Severus. It's just water!"

You laughed, and Severus swore if it was anyone else who did that to him, they would be running for their lives but it was you, and as much as he wanted to lash out on you, he could not as he heard your laughter.

"It's just water?"

He retorted, reaching into the lake and splashed some water to you, but you were quick enough to run from him, making him roll his eyes in annoyance. Severus shook his head, failing to hide his smile as your eyes landed on him.

It was getting darker outside, the moon was making a path for you and him, and both of you did not want to get inside yet, wanting to savour every moment together, but not like any of you would admit it.

The sun fell into the earth and the stars were beginning to appear, but Severus did not notice the beauty in the skies for the only thing worth noting in his life at that moment was you. His eyes never left you, as the night unfolded before his eyes, and still, you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

Your existence was the only thing that mattered to him, and to think that he once said that he abhorred you was killing him inside, as how could he ever hurt such an innocent soul when you did nothing but showing him love and adoration, even when he was so harsh towards you. And your next words were only making him feel guilty even more.

"I'm really sorry for robbing your love from you, Severus."

You were gazing at the stars, not wanting to look him in the eyes, as you were afraid if you might see his hatred resurfacing back like it used to. But you were shocked when he took your hand in his bigger one, his warmth was comforting you, and you did not have to glance at him to know that his hatred was long gone.

"It wasn't your fault at all. I shouldn't blame you for the things you never did." 

Severus admitted, looking back at the time when he blamed you for his past, when you were always there, waiting for him to open his heart for you.

"I'm not the type of person someone falls in love with, Y/N."

His words broke your heart, and you could not help but glared at him, and Severus frowned when he realised he said something wrong.

"How could you say that? I've loved you since the day I learned about soulmates, Severus."

You argued, and Severus almost laughed at how angry you looked, just because he was talking down about himself.

"But you didn't know it was me."

He reasoned, cocking his eyebrow at you. You let out a wistful sigh, sad to know that your soulmate dared to believe he was undeserving of love when you were there to love him.

"Even after I knew you're my soulmate, I still love you."

You said, and you could see Severus' face dropped, and you were not sure if your words were making him feel better or worse, so before he could say anything else, you quickly added:

"But don't worry, I put my feelings behind now. We're starting over as friends."

Severus' feelings were all over the place at your words. His mind and his heart were battling against each other, and he wondered if one day you would see him as more than a friend, even after what he had done to you in the past.

"What if we could be more than that?"

He wished he was asking you that question, but instead, he was just muttering silently in his head, fear was suffocating him if he would scare you away. He wanted to know if your love for him was the same, but he was not sure about himself too, and he did not want to hurt you again.

"I wasn't being true to you, Y/N."

He knew he had to say it sooner or later, and it was only fair for you to know the truth when he kept burying you in his lies, the lies that he created so he could hurt you. 

"I was just angry that everyone else met their soulmates, while I was alone."

Severus was young and immature when he thought he was going to end up alone for his whole life, and the fear was brought until he was an adult, it only became worse when he was not expecting you to come into his life, but you did.

"I never really loved Lily."

Your heart palpitated rapidly against your chest as you swallowed his words, knowing that he never loved her, the woman who always made you feel as if you were getting in the way of Severus' happiness. You sucked in a deep breath when he looked at you, in a way that no one ever did before.  

"You were right, Y/N. She was the woman I thought I loved, because I couldn't find you."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you dropped your gaze on your intertwined hand with his.

"She was my friend, and when she found her soulmate, I was left alone. I don't love her. I never did."   

He said almost in a whisper, finding his courage to tell you everything, as you deserved to know the truth. He knew he had to gain your trust again, and it could only be done if he was being honest with you.

"I was waiting for you, Y/N. I was lonely without you."

His words gripped your heart like claws, ripping at your chest as you realised that he was wallowing himself in sorrow when you were not there. You were there now, and you never wanted him to feel isolated again, when you were more than willing to be with him forever.

"I found you, Severus."

You said, smiling when he squeezed your hand gently. It was such a simple gesture, but it made you feel safe, and it made him feel loved.

"Yes, you found me."

He nodded weakly, looking you in the eyes, realising that if his whole world was embodied in a person, it would be you.

"I hope I didn't come too late to be lonely with you."

You joked, leaning against his arm. Severus could not hold back a smile when he heard your soft chuckles, and he shrugged, wanting to tease you. He loved it when you scrunched your nose and pouted, without you even realising it.

"You're kind of late, Y/N."

"Don't blame me, Severus. I didn't choose my birth year."

You grinned, and Severus squinted his eyes at you, a chuckle erupted in his chest. You were younger than him and it could be a reason why he met you later than his friends, but even if you were not, surely he would not still meet you during his school days. Nothing would change.  

"I'm not that old."

He stated sternly, and you burst out laughing. Severus watched you, his heart fluttered, and he wanted to hear your sound of happiness for the rest of his life, if you would allow him to.

"If we were the same age, and we met here when we were students, what would happen?"

You asked, wanting to know what would change if time was not so mean towards you and Severus, and the Potions Master smirked.

"Then you would be the luckiest girl in school because you would have the such a smart boyfriend."

He said, his smirk never disappearing from his face. He looked so attractive in your eyes, and you just wanted to run into his arms and forget the rest of the world if you could, but unfortunately, life did not work that way for you.

"Smart boyfriend? You?"

You mocked him, and he could not help but roll his eyes at you. Truth to be told, he was not sure if you would even look at him twice if you were to be in the same school and the same age as him. You looked like an angel, and Severus was just... Him. The universe was generous enough to give him such a perfect soulmate, but he could not say the same for you as he thought he was not the best.

"Alright, then. So I would be the luckiest girl in school, but what about you?"

You were almost bouncing on your feet as you could not wait to know what he was thinking of you. You wanted to be the best for Severus, but somehow there was something tugging on your heartstrings, telling you that you were not enough for him even if you could find him earlier than you did. 

You bit the inside of your cheeks when you felt Severus' intense gaze on you, and suddenly you were a nervous wreck around him.

"I would be the luckiest boy in the whole world because I would have you, Y/N."

His words resonated within your heartbeat, and a smile found its way on your face, hearing how genuine he was being with you. It felt too good to be true, since the first time you saw him, he despised you, and now when you were holding his hand, everything felt so right.

"I don't want you to freeze to death."

Severus scoffed, annoyance was dripping from his voice, but he was smiling, as he took off his outer robes and draped it over your shoulder. You did not even realise you were shivering as you were no longer concern about the wind, as your mind was focusing on Severus. 

He let go of your hand, and your smile dropped. But he did that just to wrap an arm around your shoulder, and you could tell that he was afraid if you were uncomfortable with him, so you leaned against him, smiling as you heard a sigh of content from him. 

"You're warm, Severus."

"Well, you're cold, Y/N."

He said in his monotone voice, making you chuckle softly. The silence was calming, and as much as Severus loved to be alone in his office, but he would admit that being there with you was better for the day, and he wanted to spend his time more with you if he could.

"Severus?"

He hummed softly, both of you were gazing at the mesmerising stars, but your hearts both were beating for each other.

"When I came along, even if it was rather late, I felt that it was the right time for us."

You whispered, glancing at your soulmate. Something struck him in the heart, and his feelings were overwhelming him. He nodded, pulling you closer into his arms and you let him.

Severus did not know what his future might be, and you were not sure of yours too, but both of you were wishing upon the star, for that he could be in your future and you could be in his.