TW FOR SH AND MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SA

STAY SAFE OKAY

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS THEN DON'T FUCKING READ IT

I'M GONNA LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT OKAY

IF YOU'VE DEALT WITH OR ARE CURRENTLY DEALING WITH THESE, MY DMS ARE OPEN

OKAY BYE

Jaz didn't know what was wrong. She just knew she didn't like it. No, she fucking hated it. She loathed it.

    Her arms hurt. But they also didn't. They had healed overnight, and it didn't physically hurt, but it still did. It didn't make sense.

    She found a box cutter in her room this morning. It was in the bottom of a drawer. She left it there.

    Something was comforting about how it hurt when she placed the blade on her leg, pushing down just enough to burn but not enough to bleed. Jaz knew she was fucking crazy and worthless. But that's why she needed to be punished. Punish self-harming by self-harming. That's how it works, right?

    The thought made her go back to the bathroom and cry. She texted her mom: can you take the box cutter from my room? and also throw away my razor, it's dull and i forgot to this morning. Translation: If I have a sharp object in my room, I will use it on myself. Help me. Please.

    Jaz wished she could send her parents that translation, but they refused to help Auntie Ashley. Why would they help her? There wasn't a point in even trying.

    Instead, Jaz wiped away her tears and took a deep breath. It would be a lie to say it would be okay, but there had to be something to look forward to.

    Yes, there was something. Saturday, she'd be with Sadie, and they would hug her and tell her they loved her, and Jaz would feel okay for a second. And everything would actually be good for a little while.

    But then Jaz's parents would appear because they tracked her location. They'd see Jaz kiss the love of her life, and Jaz's parents would kill her. They'd actually fucking murder her. Or maybe they'd kick her out, and she'd be murdered on the fucking streets of New York. Either way, she'd die.

    A part of Jaz was aware that the odds of such a thing happening were slim to none. But still, the point stands. What if?

    No. No. No. That wasn't healthy, Jasmine Maia Anderson. Use that lovely little brain and think for, like, half of a second.

    Which, yeah. Thinking coherently does help sometimes. It helped her remember that she finally got Brown Girls in the mail. She would get to read it today.

    Breathe in. Breathe out. Jaz looked herself in the eye as she did. Make it through today. Just make it through today.

    She waited an extra minute, and her eyes were no longer puffy. Then she ensured her sleeves covered the bandages she'd applied to her arms and opened the door. She left the bathroom. She found Sadie. She realized that she had no friends. She ignored the thought and went to Sadie.

    Sadie turned to see her and ran from their lunch group to hug Jaz, and for a moment, everything was okay. Maybe everything would be okay. She buried her nose into Sadie's neck as she hugged their waist tighter. She was crying. Why was she crying? Sadie didn't seem to be fazed by the fact that Jaz was crying, had she been worrying them this whole time. She didn't like it when people worried, but she couldn't find it in herself to care as Sadie rubbed her back and whispered, "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

    It's gonna be okay.

-

Percy wasn't doing good. Surprise.

    He knew the fact that his mental health was low wasn't surprising to him was probably a bad sign, but still.

    However, it was nothing our lord and savior, Elton John, couldn't fix. And honestly, the same with Aerosmith. And the Foo Foo Fighters. And Hoobastank. And also maybe Taylor Swift, since Annabeth put him on that train.

    He put on the first Taylor Swift song that came up. my tears ricochet did not help. Annabeth lied to him.

    So, he played his classic rock playlist, even if 90s rock wasn't technically classic, but Percy figured that people could kiss his ass. It wasn't like he put in Paramore or fucking MCR, or, god forbid, he still listened to P!ATD. Those people scared him.

    The first song played, and Percy sighed. Grover was at practice for the game tomorrow night, and so was Juniper. Annabeth had texted him saying she would be late, so he had a moment to himself. He didn't know if that was a good thing.

    Today had been odd. He felt floaty. He was there, but he wasn't really there. It had been like this since he did that fun little project on Greek Tragedies. Percy would feel fine, but he was just watching himself on autopilot. Wake up. Talk to Paul. Eat cereal. Get on the subway. Go to class. Smile. Pretend to be there. Go to the next class. Even now, as he skipped I Don't Want To Miss A Thing, he couldn't feel himself doing it. He was in one muddled version of reality, his body stuck in a trance while his brain watched, wondering if it should take control and ask for help, or just let it happen. People didn't seem to notice the shell, and the shell was doing its job.

    Percy knew enough to realize his train of thought was the exact opposite of healthy.

    So, he looked up what it was he had at the moment. Ah, yes, dissociation. He'd probably know that if Mrs. O'Leary wasn't getting shots today. He missed his dog. He'd have to give her the most pets when he got home.

    Okay, step one was complete. Now how does one get out of it?

Breathe. Percy was tempted to throw his phone.

Yoga. That would not work.

Find a Safer Way to Deal With Stress. Percy actually threw (gently put two feet away from him) his phone.

    That was a stupid idea; who the fuck goes to Google for help? He sighed. At least it was a sign that Percy hadn't completely given up. That, he supposed, was good.

    At some point, Percy wasn't sure when Annabeth sat next to him. Her dark brows her knotted, and she was staring at the floor. She was breathing too hard and blinking too fast.

    "What's wrong?" Percy asked.

    Annabeth snapped back into reality. "Nothing."

    Percy resisted quoting Will Smith's I'm allergic to bullshit, line because he wasn't a total asshole. Instead, he said, "Are you sure?"

    "I mean--" There it is. "--I don't get it. I'm pissed because of a B. It's not even a bad grade, but fucking Frederick has been on my ass about my grades. I feel like a fucking failure. But I know I shouldn't because it's a fucking B." Annabeth sighed. "I wish my brain worked normally." She slipped her hand into his. "What about you?"

    Percy shrugged. "Don't know anymore. I've just been dissociating my way through life, and it's taking a toll on my mental sanity. There wasn't much there to begin with, but still."

    "Felt that."

    Percy was silent for a second before bursting into a laugh. And it was loud; he had to cover his mouth and bite his lip to keep people from staring at them. But still, he cackled and snorted, trying his best to keep himself from crying and failing because the entire fucking situation was hilarious to him. "We need help," he wheezed.

    "We is a lot of people," Annabeth said, starting to laugh at how Percy was laughing. One of those laughs made everyone around you want to laugh.

    "Fuck off," Percy said, trying to calm himself down. "I like your hair, by the way." He gestured to her new butterfly locs.

    "Thank you."

-

The day went by slowly for Piper. Terribly, tauntingly, slow. Geometry went on for ages, physics for even longer. Even mythology was long, even if she had all her friends and Shel in one class. Chiron was going on about the Trojan war and how sometimes people were dumbasses. That dumbassery turned into a massive game of fuck around and find out with the gayest shit in history, and then everyone died. The end. Oh, except Odysseus. He would be killed later by his illegitimate son from Circe, one of the many original girl bosses, second only to Medea because Piper supported women's wrongs.

    Sadly, they would not be covering Jason and Medea, and Piper was a reasonable amount of sad about it (she literally took this class for two reasons, patrochilles and Medea. She would die if she did not get to experience that myth).

    She was going to zone out since everyone and their mother knew that Paris would choose Aphrodite, but she received a text from Drew.

siren, apparently: how would you like to have a mental breakdown in the 600 1st-floor bathroom with me?

lightning mclean: i would be honored.

    Oh my lord, Piper all of a sudden had to use the bathroom! She was practically bursting.

    She met her sister in the deserted bathroom and found her crying and trying to fix her makeup. "Piper, if I look like shit I will have failed at life."

    Piper blinked. "You'll be fine."

    "But I do Cassie's 3am morning routine, you can't do this to me," she groaned, wiping away her tears and brutally smacking her face to try and blend her smudged foundation out. "Anyway, you are probably wondering why I'm having a mental breakdown in the middle of 7th period."

    "Yes, that would be correct."

    "Funny story. You know Octavian?"

    Oh, Octavian? The man who raped the love of my life? That one dude who once tried to rape me at a Wawa back in the early chapters of this fic? The guy who repeatedly makes comments about people of color and LGBTs? The little blond bitch who tore off Samirah's hijab to "free her"? You mean that guy? No, I've never heard of such a man. What was his name? Octogan? No idea.

    "Unfortunately," Piper said instead.

    "Guess what?"

    Good lord that was not going to end well. "What?"

    "He has been bothering me all fucking day, and he just tried to bring me to the ramp behind the auditorium!" Drew said, laughing maniacally.

    Two ramps led to the auditorium. One was quickly abandoned since those who needed it were unable to use it since the terrain was uneven and it was difficult to access. So over the summer, the school commissioned a new ramp that was easy to go up and get to. They never took down the ramp behind the auditorium, and it became a known hook-up spot since there were no cameras and no one seemed to go there.

    "Oh. Shit."

    Drew continued to laugh, and Piper was unsure if her sister was going insane or if she was trying to stop herself from crying. "Oh shit, indeed! I obviously told him to fuck off, and he literally tried to push me there and so I punched him in the balls and the face with my ring hand." Drew gestured to her hand filled with silver rings and amethyst gemstones for good measure. "I made him bleed. He cornered me before 7th period started and said that he'd find a way to ruin my life if I told anyone. He said that he won't say anything about the punch. His dad's a fucking massive singer; they could probably kill me. Piper, I'm scared." Drew looked directly at Piper. "I'm fucking scared."

    "Oh hell, no," Piper said. "Hang on, let me tell Chiron that you needed a breather and that he needs to send some people down here. Abso-fucking-lutely not."

    Drew swiftly turned around to look at Piper. "Are you fucking insane?" Drew yelled, smacking Piper's phone away. "What fucking part of don't tell anyone does your fucking brain not wrap around? Fucking dumbass. I shouldn't have even told you, and you want to go around fucking parading it to everyone you know? How do--I can't even comprehend--Why?

    "Oh my God, and I know you're going to tell your fucking girlfriend. I don't care that she's the fucking mother of the school; she might go asking the other parents for help. And who fucking knows who they might tell." Drew looked deep into Piper's eyes, hot with anger and fear. "Piper, if you fucking tell anyone I will fucking ruin you," she said, eerily quiet. "I don't care about your fucking intentions. Don't say a fucking word. Do you understand? It didn't even happen today. It happened last month. It doesn't matter."

    Piper didn't know what to say to that. And she had questions. So many questions. What do you mean he did this last month? Why didn't you tell me? Why can't we report this? Why won't you let me help you? But she only voiced one: "Why would he corner you a month later?"

    And Drew said, "Fucking Instagram."

-

Shel wasn't sure what to do when Piper sent her a link. @fuckoctaviangaius.

    She opened it, and there it was. A whole list of people who publicly said Fuck Octavian Gaius. Shel knew precisely what to look for, and she counted.

    1...5...9.

    9 people so far, all anonymous, have said the same thing. They went through the same thing Shel went through.

    She could submit this. Shel could have a chance.

    But there was no use. Everyone knew his father controlled the media. The only reason this wasn't down yet was that he didn't manage Instagram. Just in case, Shel screenshotted every post.

    She then made a new account on Instagram, followed the new page, and copied down her imaginary victim impact statement before pasting and pressing send. It took 30 seconds before the account read it, and in the next five minutes, it was posted.

    She shook Will, who sat conveniently next to her. "I'm going to send you an Instagram account. You are going to email it to Principal Hestia."

    He blinked. "Why?"

    "Just do it," she sang.

-

Piper slumped against Shel as they met for rehearsal that day. She still had to meet with her mom. She wanted to talk to Shel about what had just happened with Drew. She wanted a hug. She wanted someone to tell her it was going to be okay. She wanted a lot of things.

    But Piper couldn't have any of those things.

    It didn't matter. Shel wasn't paying attention to Piper; she was looking at Drew, who was talking to Calypso. "Hey, is something wrong with Drew?" she asked.

    Piper sighed. "I can't tell you."

    "And that's what's bothering you?"

    Piper shushed her. "You will not worry about it."

    "That's cute. Tell me."

    And Piper stayed silent.

    Shel sighed. "Tell Drew that she'll get through it and she can talk to me. I went through it too."

    Piper blinked. "How the fuck do you do that?"

    "I'm just hyper-talented."

hi violation beans

how are you

i am not good, as you can tell by the chapter

sorry for the lack of updates, i've been going through it

but i did try very hard to get an update out, and look!

so i want to say that no, there will not be a trial that's not realistic, and it's already super unrealistic. i just wanted some sort of justice served since this world is meant to be about escapism.

don't expect a trial. remember, shel's shit was "lost in the system"

anyway, i am trying to write fluff, and it wasn't working. sorry

that's literally why ihbwyftbom is taking so long, i literally cannot write any fluff.

now with jaz it was important that i portray this very accurately because i was watching ginny and georgia and being like... fr

so i wanted to make jaz much better

i also wanted to emphasize this duality in feelings toward jaz's parents, which i didn't get into here, but will soon.

percy and annabeth both have unresolved emotional turmoil, and we are slowly resolving them here

and piper hasn't gone through anything yet and i was intent on changing that and this was also the only thing that was in my original outline

everyone say rip to my og outline

o7 og outline

anyway, how are we gonna make piper feel better? NOT WITH SHEL LMAO

i has a plan

okay i need to go to sleep before my parents yell at me

love y'all!