lmao

Today, Alex decided, would be a good day. She woke up early and listened to her "ACTIVATING SERATONIN" playlist and took the time to actually make her eyeliner symmetrical. Alex is aware of the fact that she is a goddess. She even decided to give a bug fuck you to the school dress code (not like they enforce it anyway) and wore a pink bralette with a pink skirt and her white combat boots. After much consideration, she added white sunglasses too.

    Then Alex went outside and found out that it was fucking freezing. It was a bit early for long sleeves; it was the beginning of October. Sure, Alex could justify maybe wearing jeans, but it being so cold that Alex needed to wear winter attire? Unacceptable.

    So, Alex went into her closet, filled with all the clothes she had made for herself, instead of going to the store like a normal person.

    Alex had a grey jacket. Boring as shit.

    She was planning on starting to make the clothes needed for winter that month. Of course, god looked down on Alex and said, "Oh, you have plans?" Then god decided to go bungee jumping on those plans right after cutting them down and mowing the remains with one of those overly expensive lawnmowers.

    As you can see, god and Alex are very good friends, and not in a gay way.

    Nevertheless, today would be an okay day. The first period went by just fine. She finished hemming Shel's trench coat and added some embellishments to the green Persephone dress. It was so calming to sew in the little flowers, despite it being tedious work. It was simple, routine. Needle in, needle out. Again. Again. Again. Embroidery was never a true talent of Alex, but it was fun. Besides, the patterns were simple enough.

    The rich voice of Christina Aguilera drowned out the rest of the world, and Alex was able to--finally--just be.

    She felt a tap on her shoulder and took out one headphone to listen to Magnus.

    "Hi."

    "Hey," Alex responded.

    "I was, uh, looking for some people who might be able to help you," Magnus said.

    Alex poked her finger with the needle. "Magnus, you didn't have to--"

    "I wanted to," Magnus said. "I don't know why I didn't check before, but this is a school for people with mental health issues and disabilities. There's a therapist here, for free."

    Alex nodded and said she'd think about it.

    Then came ASL, and it seemed the universe had it out against Alex, as they now had to do a presentation where they interpreted ABC by Jackson Five into ASL. The I before E except after C, why 2+2 makes 4 parts of the song would prove to be her worst enemy. Meanwhile, Magnus (who sent Alex a video of him interpreting the chorus of WAP three days ago, saying ASL is a fun language) was having the time of his life.

    But it was fine. Alex would just take it slow. I before E after C why 2+2=4. Okay, that was easy slowed down. Speed it up. I before--that was not the sign for before. What the fuck was that? Hell, did she even sign I correctly? That was the fucking alphabet; she learned that a month and a half ago! Jesus Christ, how was she so fucking stupid? This was probably why she was abused.

    Oh, that was certainly a thought. Why did Alex think that? Well, it must have been true. Why else would people--

    "Hey," Magnus whispered, continuing to interpret the song with ease. "Fun fact. The reason the reverse cowgirl is illegal in Alabama is because you can never turn your back on family."

    Alex snapped back to reality to say, "What the fuck?" through a wheeze which quickly turned into a laugh. "Can I steal that?"

    "Yeah."

    Alex thought for a second. "Okay, I have one. A man enters an elevator every day and says your hair smells amazing. Every single day, until the lady goes okay, I've had enough. She goes to HR and says that this guy made her uncomfortable with this comment. HR is like, it's just hair. The lady goes, he's a midget." Alex took pride in the confusion evident on Magnus' face and watched as that morphed into horror.

    Magnus clamped a hand over his mouth. "Dude, what the fuck."

-

Life, Will discovered, sometimes sucks. When he told Nico this, he got, "Since when is sucking bad?"

This prompted Will to question all of his life choices and stare into space.

    "I'm joking, Solace," Nico said, pointedly ignoring the rest of the group's reactions. "What happened?"

    That was the fun part, Will didn't know.

    He'd never been formally diagnosed, so he was hesitant to say it, but he thinks he might have some sort of mental health issue. After all, this had been building up.

    It had started with his initial panic at his mother's phone call. Then, he realized it was near the end of September. Then it was the start of October. And finally, it was Naomi's birthday.

    It was just a date. Dates shouldn't matter, and yet they did. That's what concerned Will. Nothing happened on his mother's birthday. In fact, it was a holiday, so she was actually bearable on those days.

    He didn't want to say that out loud, lest more people try to carry his emotional weight. Hell, even telling Nico that it was a shitty day was hard. Why was that hard? No one else seemed to have a problem saying, Oh, yeah. It's just that I'm traumatized, and I need help.

    Will was an emotional being. He understood his emotions and wouldn't hesitate if Nico said he felt bad about anything. Hell, Nico could say, I accidentally spilled water on myself, and Will would hug him, wrap him in a towel, and give him clean clothes. If Will were to do that same thing, he'd say, "I am a worthless dumbass." When he came to that realization, he started working on it. The problem was that it was getting him nowhere.

    He'd gone down rabbit holes like this before and read self-help book after self-help book, and every fucking one of them shared a story of how using this new technique would change your life in a week! That didn't fucking happen to Will, which means that Will is incapable of healing or at least fucking communicating with his boyfriend. How fucked up was that? he can't do the one thing that keeps couples together.

    Nico, however, proved to know Will well. It took just a second of silence for Nico to say, "I want you to tell me." And Nico just had this...this look on his face. Will couldn't quite describe his soft and emotive eyes and encouraging smile.

    "Guys," Shel said. "Mr. Thompson is chill, and I've covered for you two too many times to count, so if you could do me the biggest favor and give me the answer to number 6 on this paper..."

    Will glanced at his finished worksheet. "I think it's the Quakers."

    She thanked him, and Nico continued. "Please."

    Will was silent for a moment. "I don't want t--"

    "William. Andrew. Solace." Nico poked Will's side between each word. "If you say that you don't want to burden me, I am going to, uh... Oh! I'm going to make you watch the Star Wars prequels. Wait...no. I am going to list the reasons why Star Wars and Star Trek are the same."

    Will's eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

    Nico just raised a brow.

    "I don't know," Will said. "I think my mother traumatized me. I mean, like, no shit, but, like..." Will realized he sounded progressively more southern as he continued on. "I think I have a genuine health issue," he admitted. "Because I'm not usually triggered by her bir..." He couldn't force the words out.

    Nico slipped his hand into Will's. "Do you want to talk about it now or do you want to wait until you feel better?" There was no third option--the one Will would've chosen: never talk about it.

    "Later," Will whispered.

    Nico nodded. "Do you want to come over to my house after rehearsals? I just got The Stanley Parable and Layers of Fear, we can play that."

    "Yeah."

    "Wow," Sadie whispered. "White people live different."

    "For real," Reyna muttered.

-

the best person ever: i'm bored

~gay~: bestie we are in class together

the best person ever: we're* bored

stock photo white guy: do you guys want to hear some terrible pick up lines

ace is on the case: no <3

emo: YEAH

a literal elf: omg i have too many of those

stock photo white guy: okok you go first

a literal elf: are you an orphanage? because i'd like to give you some kids

lightning mclean: PFFT

emo: LMAO

stock photo white guy: are you god? because i'd get on my knees for you

ace is on the case: i'm muting this chat

~gay~: i would like to confirm that sadie is currently crying

lightning mclean: if i flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?

a literal elf: AKKDHF YES

the best person ever: do you work at bath and body works? because when i saw you i kept buying lotion

emo: OMG DSLJFGHFDFGDSUY

~gay~: FDKHFGDF

~gay~: ew that was an ugly one

lightning mclean: i gotchu sdfkjdhs

~gay~: thanks ily

a literal elf: stop being gay on main

-

Annabeth brutally threw all of her books into her locker with absolutely zero regards for any form of organization. She was going to grab her lunch money when someone shook her from behind.

    She instinctively swung at them. The deadly attacker ended up being Percy, who was laughing at the violence imbued in Annabeth's veins.

    Annabeth slowly blinked before petting Mrs. O'Leary, who was perfect, as always. "One day I will land a hit."

    Percy just wheezed harder. "Abuse!" he cried.

    Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Stop dramatically falling to the floor. There's probably diseases."

    "What disease will I get," Percy said, obliging anyway.

    "This is the only place where smallpox still exists. And because we watched Victorious, we will probably get it. Monkeypox seems to love the alphabet mafia." Annabeth turned to him. "Don't get smallpox. Don't die," she said in the somber yet stern tone of the commercials she'd seen on a local deputy election.

    "But Satan," Percy reasoned.

    "But living," Annabeth countered.

    "But freedom from my crippling mental health issues," Percy said.

    Annabeth's eyes widened, and she pointed an accusatory finger at his face. "You see! Dark humor instead of sarcasm!"

    Percy made a show of putting his hands up. "What did I do?" he squeaked as he sat down on the rickety benches. "Are you getting lunch or going to the vending machines?" he asked.

    "Vending machine, it's meatloaf today." Percy cringed, but Annabeth pointed her finger again. "ADHD's being a bitch; stop distracting me."

    Percy gave a little salute before putting his hands up.

    "You're using dark humor instead of sarcasm. Something's wrong."

    Percy's brows creased. "What do you mean?"

    "You usually will make a sarcastic joke that makes no sense out of context. But, when something's wrong, you need to find a way to dampen it," Annabeth explained. "But because you can't ignore it, and your coping mechanism is humor, you make it into a dark joke." She sat next to him and poked his side. "So what's wrong?"

    Percy's smile faded, and it sent chills down her spine. She'd only ever seen that when a teacher walked in front of him, and it usually went back to his resting face. Today, it went to nothing. Just a blank stare. "I don't know."

    The words were the barest whisper. Percy's shoulders slouched onto the wall, and he didn't even look at the lunch packed by his mother. He simply stared, petting Mrs. O'Leary's head. "I don't know. I--You know how we live in a neurotypical world? Like, there are so many reminders that you are the odd one because everything that is--supposedly--normal seems so weird to you? Picture that, but instead, it's everything that's--supposedly--horrifying and abusive. Some of that's happened to me before.

    "And it's like, you learn to ignore it over time, but then there are new things. New stories come out. New studies are released. New...whatever. All of it just confirms it. You were abused. It makes it impossible to just live knowing something terrible happened to you. Like, I know that I'm abused. I don't need you to just...keep rubbing it in." Percy sighed, scratching behind Mrs. O'Leary's ear. "It's driving crazy."

    "It's like how I watch short films about a kid escaping an emotionally abusive household, and the person they're running away from is exactly like my parents." Annabeth slipped her hand into his. "I know how you feel. I wish there was a perfect--no, not perfect. Just a decent world, filled with people doing the bare minimum to ensure that no one is traumatized."

    They sat there in silence for a while until she gestured to the thermos filled with soup.

    That silence was all she could offer. It was all she could do.

    And it was perfect.

hiii violation beans

welcome to tangents with gabby and tHE 69TH CHAPTER DDZGHSFILGRDKGURJDBCVJDB

listen, i am aware of the fact that i have the humor of a hormonal 12-year-old boy. leave me to my shitty humor in peace

soooo it's been a while...

longish update tho

the jokes were inspired by the shit me and my friends send to each other at 3 am. in fact, all of the jokes were sourced from texts me or my friends have sent

anyway, onto my pride and joy: semi-realistic representations of mental health

listen, violation beans, you know i love myself some healthy relationships. especially since they seem to not exist on this app, which is why i post, and haven't read a fic on here that wasn't satirical in almost a year!

so, the reason the first joke was put in is because if you say something so stupid or shocking, it can possibly pull someone out of a panic attack

then i wanted to show some character development for will, because i forgot to do that for loterally every other part of this fic

and then i was memeing at 12 am

and then i wanted to show healthy communication skills in relationships AND say this:

sometimes helping someone means sitting next to them in silence

sometimes helping someone is just offering your shoulder, but not taking any weight

sometimes you need to let the person figure things out

there are things that can't be fixed, and what this person needs is to know that you aren't going to leave them and allow them to go on their own journey, with you pulling them back if they get too far.

anyway let's talk about me, because why else are you here <3

i actually updated ihbwyftbom EVEN THE FUCKING ACRONYM IS LONG WHY DID I TITLE IT THAT

anyway, it was 5000 words long and i need validation because i was unable to write anything for a week after writing that so please read it

i also took a very small break from this fic and wrote my upcoming chat fic (rip being gay, doing crime) and it is currently 10,000 words long, which is a good starting point! i'm also 7,000 words into my shelper thing, which is meant to be read as a oneshot, but is too long to be published as one, so i am conflicted but whatever

and i wrote 5,000 of the chat fic in the time i was gone and 4,000 of shelper as well

i have also been dealing with my personal shit, which i will overshare with you right now

my friend broke up with her gf, sad but it happens. i personally didn't care all that much other than being like "omg that sucks, do you need me to get you anything" etc.

and then i find out that her ex gf was spreading rumors about her behind her back, and everytime i see that manipulative cunt (YES I USED THAT WORD) in school i want to fucking punch her

i went to homecoming

i thought that midnights was okay, the songs were hit-or-miss but they're growing on me

i found out that taylor swift trademarked "players gonna play" and "haters gonna hate"

oh shit, i've been sued /j

i'm also sick, because when am i not?

ooh and i also wrote poetry about my racist family members! i actually have to say this one out loud in front of my creative writing class and my ~anxiety~ is popping off

anyway, this note is way too long

OH the school for good and evil was a mid movie, despite the god teir actors and it made me sad, but apparently the book is better, as usual.

but you also said that about divergent

and you told me shadow and bone (the book series) got better

and recommended ACOTAR to me

which means that people are fucking liars

so, now that i have a more curated audience that likes most of what i like, is this true?

ok i should do the thing where i sleep

WAIT OMG

i was looking EVERYWHERE for some horror movies to watch today (happy halloween, btw) and literally NONE of them were available for the amazing price of on the multiple streaming service i alREADY FUCKING PAY FOR

Scream - nope

Halloween - nope

It (original) - nope

Insidious - nope

The Exorcist - nope

Nightmare on Elm Street - nope

Sweeny Todd - nope

Midsommar - nope

Hereditary - nope

Jennifer's Body - nope

SO I ENDED UP WATCHING A YOUTUBE VIDEO OF JACKSCEPTICEYE PLAYING UNTIL DAWN THAT WAS POSTED YEARS AGO

FUCK

ok goodnight my violation beans

love y'all