Within the ever-closing walls of the Anderson household, Jaz wanted to cry. However, her body isn't letting her do that.

    She opted for screaming incoherently into a pillow for about five seconds.

    She sighed. Much better.

    The door to her room burst open as a 10-year-old girl, without much regard for her volume, said, "HI JAZ."

    It took everything in her power to not wince at her cousin. "Hi, Sara."

    She hated birthday weekends. In fact, she had a list that somehow expanded with each:

1- The drive to Albany was too long

2- The food on her dad's side was always lacking flavor

3- Her grandma is racist to everyone except Jaz

4- It's always so fucking loud

5- Jaz always has to stay the night

6- Everyone except Jaz's Aunt Ashley is homophobic

7- Jaz would almost always need to deal with drunk parents

8- Passive. Aggression.

    And so forth.

    Jaz always liked her mom's side of the family much more than her dad's. She only sees her other family once a year, and it's almost always for a huge event. This year, her cousin, Anas, was getting married.

    But, sadly, that wasn't the case here.

    Once a month, there would be something going on. This thing required the entire fucking family to go to Albany from wherever they lived. Jaz didn't pay attention to anyone except Sara, who only ever talks about how much she hates Bayonne, New Jersey.

    And this month...Jaz forgot. It was someone's birthday. Cousin Ashley? Uncle Sam (fun fact about Uncle Sam, he is actually in the navy. Jaz both loves and hates the irony)?

    Whatever, it didn't matter. The point is Jaz did not--and will not--have a single moment to herself until Sunday at 8 p.m. when she got home.

    Sara didn't seem to read the pain evident on Jaz's face. "Can you play Uno with me? Please?"

    "Uh--"

    "Please?" Sara said, looking like she was about to cry. "I asked everyone and they all said no. Bash just told me to frick off and stop being annoying. Uncle Sam said to just deal with it because it's Bash's birthday."

    Jaz took a deep breath. "Let me go talk to Bash, then I can beat you at Uno."

    "No, you won't!" That was true; Jaz is going to lose on purpose. "I'm going to set it up!"

    While Jaz abhorred these days, she adored out-debating Bash.

    The now 17-year-old, privileged fuck and his current girlfriend, Jaz, forgot the name, were trying to convince her mother--an immigrant from Morocco--that illegal aliens are terrible.

    Laughable, Jaz knew.

    "Like, immigrants are just taking away jobs from good, American people." Bash quickly added, "I'm not saying you are, you came here legally."

    "You don't know that," Jaz said.

    Bash blinked. "What?"

    "How do you know she came here legally?" Jaz asked. She knew her mom did come legally, but she loved seeing how Bash's face fell.

    "I mean--"

    "Also, your argument about immigrants taking away jobs is total bull. Immigrants usually go to growing regions and go for employment within a growing field of supply and demand. By taking a job there and being successful, it will become evident that more people should do this job. Thus more jobs will be offered. Besides, most of the competition that would take place would be against other immigrants. Like I said, most immigrants go to up-and-growing areas," Jaz said, not even looking at him as she searched for soda. "Also, white immigrants exist too. It's not just Mexico or... what are the other countries you use? Iran or Iraq. My friend is an Italian immigrant. You only mentioning immigrants of color doesn't make you concerned for the country, it just makes you racist."

    The table erupted. Various shouts of not-wanting-to-be-put-on-the-spot come out of the various white assholes Jaz was related to. Her father just passed Jaz a straw.

    In those small moments, Jaz hated that she loved her parents. She'd do anything for them. But they wouldn't for her.

    How can you love the very people who make you empty out old teddy bears to fill with cash? Why did Jaz love the people who made her whisper, "Just in case?"

    She shoved the feeling down. As much as she hated herself, she still loved her parents; in these small moments, they loved her too. Jaz would take what she could get.

    "I'm not racist," Bash exclaimed with a very flattering voice crack. "I have--"

    "You have what, Bash?" Jaz interrupted. "Black friends? Moroccan friends? Me? Please!" She took a sip of her soda. "We've been family for a while. Prove it to me. Tell me one thing about Morocco." She raised a brow and waited.

    "It's all desert."

    Jaz's mother slowly blinked.

    "I--no," Jaz said. "Only the southern parts. Dar al-Bayda is the biggest city in Morocco. Do you think that it's just desert? I'm certain Dad has sent bad pictures of Dar al-Bayda; we go there to visit Ommi's family. Do you guys call it Dar al-Bayda, or is it Casablanca, even though that's Spanish?"

    Bash didn't respond.

    "Let's make one thing perfectly clear," Jaz said. "You are clearly uneducated and yet so entitled to think you can say anything about race with any authority. Also, can you give me a source? No? Do, like, minimal research next time. Then I'll know you at least tried to make a decent argument, even when you, inevitably, fail. I know most of this information off the top of my head, but I would be delighted to send you sources.

    "Also, you made Sara cry," Jaz added. "I would apologize for that."

PULITZER AND HEARST--: do you ever feel like such a badass

~gay~: yea, daily

the best person ever: what badass thing did you do

PULITZER AND HEARST--: I just destroyed my racist cousin on his birthday

the best person ever: have I ever told you that I adore you?

-

Sadie froze, then aggressively tapped Shel's knee repeatedly. She was leaning on Piper, so both of them were subject to this violence.

    "Can you not?" Shel asked.

    "No. I almost said love."

    Piper peered over Shel's shoulder as the couple read over the text Sadie had just sent.

    Piper smiled. "That's cute, but, like, are you even official?"

    Sadie jumped as Nico said, "A valid concern."

    "You just appear," Sadie said.

    "It's a gift."

    "I mean, can't I just say it?" Sadie asked. "I'm sure you have."

    Shel sighed. "Sadie... do not base your relationship with Jaz on ours. Or anyone else's. Also, where are your brother and sister-in-law, because we need to have a conversation about letting relationships progress."

-

Carter and Zia had relocated themselves to the library.

    Despite it all, Carter never fully understood why he loved it so much down there. He honestly didn't read that much.

    No, seriously.

    He never got into reading. Maybe he just never picked up the right book or the correct author; he just didn't like it that much. But he's brilliant. Everyone knew that. So it always came as a surprise when he said Sadie was more of a reader than him.

    It was true. Sadie, though she also wasn't much of a reader herself, would be found with a book of good taste much more often than Carter. Most recently, Carter found her reading White Tears, Brown Scars along with Brown Girls by Daphne Palasi Andreades though the latter was for a project. Nevertheless, Sadie's choices were almost always exquisite. He supposed that's why she didn't read much. Not many books could fit her criteria.

    But Carter simply didn't read, not even non-fiction. That's not how he learned. He learned through experience and traveling and experiments. He couldn't be taught by being told; Carter had to do. The only books he's interested in are those of new historical findings, but he'd read a research paper instead.

    The very few times Carter did decide to pick up a book would be when Amos gives a recommendation.

    Most recently, Amos gave him a copy of Steven Hawking's A Brief History of Time. Carter wasn't sure as to why; he didn't like science all that much. If he had to study science, he would be more likely to do biology; space didn't interest him much.

    "Exactly," Amos had said when Carter said as much. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't know at least a little bit. I made sure to find you a book with a little bit of history in it as well, to keep you invested."

    And Carter was. It was a good and informative book but didn't sway Carter into turning into a reader.

    So, Carter never knew why he loved being here.

    He looked over at Zia, who was excitedly going through the mystery section while he began to map out his general paper essay.

    The first time Carter brought Zia down here was when she wanted to find a source for her history paper.

    "What are you trying to find?" Carter had asked.

    "Something about the earliest civilizations. I don't have any ideas for anything."

    Carter had nodded and opened the doors.

    Her face lit up. "Holy shit, Carter."

    He sighed. "Yeah, it's a lot. It's sectioned by genre, and each section is organized alphabetically by last name."

    It didn't take long for Zia to have a stack of books, and they stayed there to write the paper.

    The next time she came over, he took her back down to see her face light up again.

    It's truly a mystery none could solve: Why does Carter love the library?

    His thoughts were interrupted by Sadie screeching his name.

    He slowly blinked. "I might murder her."

    "I love her, so I won't help you hide the body," Zia said. "But I can give you an alibi."

    "CARTER," Sadie screamed again. "AND ALSO ZIA."

    The couple went upstairs, were briefed on the situation, and sat dumbfounded.

    "Sadie," Zia said. "No, you can't say you love her without asking her to be your girlfriend with it."

    "We really need to talk about the natural progression of relationships," Carter added.

hi my violation beans

short chapter, but whatever

it's currently 11 p.m. and my mother is forcing me to stop writing, so i shall finish this A/N in the morning whilst on a two hour ride to the beach at the ass crack of dawn

when you wake up at 6 am and find out it's going to rain so you woke up early for not fucking reason

anyway

hi my violation beans i took a nap and now it's 8

ok now actually things about the chapter

i had to reread this chapter because i forgot what i wrote

i based the jaz thing on literally every anti immigrant person i've ever meant

i do have a source for my information, if you could wait until i'm awake again to put them in the comments, that would be lovely

i gave you some slight angst that wasn't really developed well but whatever

i also gave you jadie and zarter

i do recommend all the books i listed, if you are interested in any of them.

also the sadie dilemma is based on my friend who almost said ily before they were officially dating

don't do that

anyway my mom found my fanfiction and at this point i have nothing to hide

she read this

and hasn't said anything

i'm scared

other than that there isn't much for me to say

love y'all