Alex,

I know that this is cheap, but I figured it's what you needed. Sorry I didn't really say much to you. I don't really know what to do in situations of grief.

So, I just did what I wanted when my mom died and told you I was there.

I also know you think I don't like you anymore because I thought everyone hated me for wanting to die with her when I lost her.

But that's not true. Please don't ever believe that to be true, because I really like you. So much more than I can say.

However, Craig Arnold has a way with words that I certainly do not and will never have. So, take his poem, Bird-Understander, as my message to you:

Of many reasons I love you here is one

the way you write me from the gate at the airport

so I can tell you everything will be alright

so you can tell me there is a bird

trapped in the terminal all the people

ignoring it because they do not know

what to do with it except to leave it alone

until it scares itself to death

it makes you terribly terribly sad

You wish you could take the bird outside

and set it free or (failing that)

call a bird-understander

to come help the bird

All you can do is notice the bird

and feel for the bird and write

to tell me how language feels

impossibly useless

but you are wrong

You are a bird-understander

better than I could ever be

who make so many noises

and call them song

These are your own words

your way of noticing

and saying plainly

of not turning away

from hurt

you have offered them

to me I am only

giving them back

if only I could show you

how very useless

they are not

In case you didn't get what I meant as I write this: we help each other.

Even if you don't realize it, you did so much.

I was always the bird, and you the understander.

But you do not need to always be the understander, Alex.

Please, do not always be the understander because I want to help you through pain. Please, I want to keep you here with me. Please, know that I will be there.

I will always be there.

Because even if you've become shards of colored glass deep within the sea, I will find you in the sand and make a mural of sea glass.

Because even if the walls around your mind are too thick for everyone else, I will climb to reach the other side.

Because even if you've been torn apart and thrown into a scrapyard, I will turn you into a sculpture.

Because no matter how broken you are,

I will forever love you, Alex.

-Magnus.

-

"First order of business," Mr. A stated as the bell rang. "I have a thing during your fifth period. I need at least three volunteers to come here and give the middle schoolers tips on musical theatre stuff. Sadie, can you ask Shel? The kids are asking for her."

    Shel answered within a second. "She said she'd do it," Sadie said. "I'll do it too."

    Mr. A nodded. "Can I get one more--thank you, Jason. I'll write you guys passes. Second, today is a rest day, but tomorrow you'll be doing improv. Don't do anything stupid or illegal during this time I am giving you. I can easily give y'all an assignment on the history of theatre."

    Sadie immediately cringed at the threat but quickly found her way to Jaz, who was writing something in the margins of what seemed to be a history notebook. Sadie leaned on Jaz's shoulder but didn't look at the poem until Jaz shifted, so Sadie had a clear line of vision.

Come with me and be my love.

So we can watch the white dove

Fly through ancient woods and groves,

And the fields with the Shepherds that rove.

And we shall sit atop some rocks,

As the Shepherd feeds his flocks

By a lake with crystal blue waters

With the sheep of autres.

Then I can make a bed of flowers,

And we can look out and count the hours

Of the day as it turns to dusk,

And the leaves into the color of rust

And I can look over at you,

Through the twilight and midnight blooms,

And never miss my heart reeling,

And sink into that daisy sweet feeling.

And as I stare at my lover,

I can't help but wonder

About my heart beating too fast.

How to make this feeling last?

And I can't help but wonder,

As my heart continues to thunder:

Am I dying?

Or is this thriving?

"Damn," Sadie whispered. "Whoever this is about has you whipped."

    Jaz snorted and playfully shoved Sadie's shoulder. "Fuck off."

    Sadie laughed before whispering, "Never!" She then gave a peck on Jaz's cheek. "I'm joking. I love it."

    Jaz smiled. "Good! So, you are going to take a picture of this so I can rip it out of this book, and my parents will never know about this."

    "Shit, are they going to check?" Sadie asked, taking a picture of the poem.

    "I wouldn't put it against them," Jaz sighed. "It sucks, but I'll deal with it until I'm 18."

    "Only 11 months then," Sadie said.

    "Only eleven months."

-

It was Chant day. The day that everyone in the cast had been waiting for.

    But, this time, parents were coming.

    Not all parents, just those who wanted to volunteer to paint/build sets, donate, or cater.

    Today, Shel's mom wanted to cater, and her father, Julio, really wanted to see his little girl sing.

    "Shelbita, I know you aren't going to school," Julio had said when he'd arrived. "But, you want to go to rehearsal, right? So, me and your Mami are going to go there with the best food these white people have ever tasted and I want to interrogate--I mean, meet--your girlfriend."

    Shel looked up at him in fear. "Por favor, Papi. Por favor, no hagas eso."

    Julio only shook his head. "Nothing you say will stop me."

-

Piper heard Sadie squeal and knew that Shel had arrived.

    Piper turned to see her, and Sadie was engulfing Shel in a very tight hug before the doors behind her could close.

    Then Piper looked directly behind Shel and noticed her parents. And then the tall, tawny-skinned man behind Shel locked eyes with Piper. He then leaned over to Shel and asked her a question, which Shel answered and then met Piper's eyes with a look that said Please don't die.

    Thankfully, Mr. A saved her life. "Annabeth, Piper, and Nico, I need you three here upfront. Cast, start warming up. This is one of the biggest songs, so make your vocal chords loose."

    Nico was already playing a few warm-ups on his guitar when Piper met him on the stage. "Her dad?" Nico asked.

    "Yep."

    Nico laughed. "Good luck."

    Piper gave a monotone "Thanks," in return.

    "Annabeth," Mr. A said, "I need you to go and get the parents seated and collect donations--who is that?"

    Piper followed Mr. A's gaze to... Piper's father, who was in line to make a donation to the production.

    Oh, this was going to be a lovely night.

welcome back my violation beans to random tangents with gabby

excuse my lack of grammar, i simply do not care anymore

can you guys tell that i was trying so fucking hard to get at least 1,000 words there? yeah? yep, me too.

but no matter, for you have a note AND a jaz poem which y'all seem to eat up.

ok so

that poem i wrote took me about a week and it's the first pastoral poem i've ever written, so lmk what you think

also, guess what, that letter was the first official i love you to someone in this fic in a romantic sense.

i'll give you a moment to freak out

ok anyway

some people may be confused on the middle school thing so allow me to explain

my high school is connected to a middle school, so it hosts 6-12 grade levels. there is a high school side and a middle school side.

however, these sides overlap during elective classes, like theatre. in most schools, there is only one theatre teacher who does theatre 1,2,3, musical theatre, tech, and sometimes even film.

essentially, apollo deserves a raise

also, i know some people are gonna be like... shelbita? why?? that's a weird nickname

but, in my family, one person will always find a way to -bita your name. I am Gabita, shel's ma would be Jacquita, etc. this is meant to be a memento to my bisabuelo who passed in 2020.

i also have a new fic titled i have been with you from the beginning of me and it is percabeth centric and will probably be updated again this sunday.

it's going to be quite short, and i have an extra chapter pre-written. I'm just editing it.

also, yes, I fully intend on making apollo and tristan a running gag in this fic because apollo was ready to give Piper siblings, I swear.

now, I have a song prompt for butterflies coming soon, but until then I need m o r e. and not just for this fic!

I am planning to try doing fics similar to the new percabeth one and just have a ton of fics.

currently, I'm planning Boyfriend by Dove Cameron to be a Shelper centric fic. I'll show y'all the outline when I finish it

I also want to see some other prompts and dabble in one shots to post on AO3.

I just want to broaden my fic-writing horizons, you know?

anyway, that's all for now.

love y'all!