green son of a bitch: RED ALERT

RED ALERT

GUYS SOMETHING HAPPENED

~gay~: it's???? 12am?????

green son of a bitch: and yet you answered

the best person ever: broski wtf happened

green son of a bitch: okok so you remember how I went on a date

~gay~: seeing as your hopeless ass wouldn't have gotten one without me, yeah vaguely.

green son of a bitch: your commentary is not needed right now

~gay~: sorry. please continue

green son of a bitch: thank you

anyway he kissed me and it turns out we're soulmates.

so that's a thing that happened

jesus why are you taking so long to type

you guys are scaring me

~gay~: BITCH WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK???? YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US THIS HOURS AGO?????? AND YOU JUST???? DECIDED???? NOT TO???? THAT'S FUCKING HUGE. I WISH I HAD THAT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LIVING THE LESBIAN DREAM

the best person ever: Alex before telling us: I feel like I forgot something

green son of a bitch: I sat down on the floor and stared at the wall when I got home then I took a nap then I told you

~gay~: literally can't say shit because I would do the same thing tbh

side note: are y'all free tomorrow

green son of a bitch: ye why

the best person ever: I literally have no life, so yea

~gay~: because I have a date tomorrow night and the LeBiAn PaNiC is setting in

Sadie...

bitch imma need you to type faster

the best person ever: WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN??? I HAVE BEEN YOUR #1 WINGMAN THROUGHOUT THIS ABSOLUTE DISASTER OF A CRUSH, AND YOU HAVE THE A U D A C I T Y TO NOT TELL ME???? FAKE FUCKING FRIEND

green son of a bitch: you good?

the best person ever: n o

~gay~: Alex, did you expect anything different?

green son of a bitch: true

I'm free tomorrow if you need to recreate the scene in romcoms where i HaVe sO mUcH tO dO bUt WhAt WiLl I wEaR???!!!!!???!!!

~gay~: that is exactly what I need.

-

Magnus,

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

Emily Dickinson

Damn, you really knew what you were doing when you gave me this collection.

It's 12am as I write this. I must say, Ms. Dickinson's melancholy poems make great company. The one above was the first one of the thousands, and I'm so excited to copy down her poems to Sue Gilbert.

On another note, I can't believe people read Dickinson's letters to Gilbert and genuinely thought she was hetero. So many people are blissfully unaware of how she was peak gay, which needs to change soon.

Update: It is now 1am, and I've come across my first love poem of this collection.

This is my letter to the world,

That never wrote to me,--

The simple news that Nature told,

With tender majesty.

Her message is committed

To hands I cannot see;

For love of her, sweet countrymen,

Judge tenderly of me!

Emily Dickinson was straight my ass.

On a completely different note, I did love our date at the bookstore. I'd like to do one again. Not at the bookstore, something else this time. We can take another magazine quiz to determine the next if you'd like.

Yours, Alex Fierro.

-

Alex,

I promise you haven't even gotten to the poem.

Wild nights - Wild nights!

Were I with thee

Wild nights should be

Our luxury!

Futile - the winds -

To a Heart in port -

Done with the Compass -

Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden -

Ah - the Sea!

Might I but moor - tonight -

In thee!

The is no way in hell Emily Dickinson is straight.

On another note, I'm about halfway done with The Hobbit. I like the way the classic and modern styles blend. While it is hard to get through because of the style, the plot is very entertaining.

Thanks for buying it for me.

As for our next date... I have no fucking clue.

But I know there is a show on Emily Dickinson starring Hailey Steinfeld, our bisexual, straight queen. I also know that it's gay as fuck. Maybe we can watch it together.

Yours, Magnus

-

Sadie found Carter reading A Brief History of Time: From the Big Bang to Black Holes leaning against his locker. "Zia's still at practice."

    Sadie nodded. "I forgot she was on the boxing team."

    Carter hummed in response, slowly turning the page. "She has a match on Saturday.

    "Cool."

    Carter went back to his book.

    This was not why Sadie wanted to talk to her brother. No, she wanted to figure out how, exactly, does one get a girlfriend.

    But, did she really want to ask him?

    Lord knows the whole crushing thing was so draining on Sadie's part. Hearing Carter rant about Zia for hours at a time, never about the same thing.

    "Sadie, she talked to me. Like, came up to me and said words."

    "And how did you react, brother dear?" Sadie had asked monotonously.

    "I mean, in my head, I was thinking, why is this muscular goddess speaking to me outside of when it is forced? But I just answered her?"

    "I'm so proud."

    "Did you know she speaks Arabic? Did you know she speaks French? Did you know she speaks Persian?"

    "Don't you speak Arabic, Persian, and Spanish?" Sadie asked.

    "Yeah, but she knows it, like, formally. 90% of what I learned was just from tagging along with dad. I know so many swears!"

    "Care to teach?"

    "It would be too powerful in your hands."

    Sadie only nodded her head at that.

    Suffice to say, it got very annoying, very fast.

    Yet, it all seemed to change when Zia asked him out and when they found out they were soulmates. Sadie seldom heard about what they were doing. They were a private couple but clearly happy.

    I want to be that happy, Sadie thought as she watched Carter's face light up at the sight of Zia coming down the hall.

    He really wasn't lying about her being a muscular goddess. You could see each muscle move as she swayed her arms as she walked.

    She supposed it would be better to ask someone who could explain things in a way that made sense.

    "Carter. Zia. I have a date soon, and I don't know how to go about doing that."

    Zia simply raised a brow. The expression terrified Sadie almost as much as Carter's reaction. Almost. Carter had slowly blinked and closed his book without marking the page.

    Seeing that made Sadie's eyes widen in pure, unrelenting fear.

    "Sadie," Carter said. "What the absolute fuck do you mean by that?"

    Sadie cleared her throat. "What in the bloody hell do you think I meant?"

    Carter and Zia looked at each other before exchanging words in some language Sadie couldn't understand.

    Carter opened his locker and took out a notepad and pencil.

    "Name," Zia said.

    "I--what?"

    "What is the name of this person," Carter answered, getting ready to write.

    Sadie snatched the notepad. "Stop it."

    "What does this person look like," Carter said, trying and failing to look unfazed. He stared at the notepad longingly.

    "Social security number?" Zia asked.

    "Zia, why the hell would you need her--"

    "She's a girl," Zia commented. "And for safety reasons and also so we can find adequate ways to threaten her." Carter nodded.

    "Jesus Christ," Sadie muttered. "You two are insufferable."

    Carter rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine."

    Zia smiled. "He was hopeless."

    Carter nodded. "That's true."

    "When I first talked to him, he thought he was smooth but was a stuttering mess."

    "That is also true."

    Zia grabbed his hand. "But, I loved him so I went on a date, and the awkward first impressions were forgotten."

    Carter raised a brow. "I was rambling the entire time."

    Zia smiled. "Exactly! So was I. We ended up talking about the most random shit for three hours."

    "So, moral of the story, be yourself."

    Sadie slowly blinked. "Guys," she said. "That is the most bullshit advice I have ever heard."

    Carter snorted. "Why? It worked for us."

    "Yeah, that's because you two were literally made for each other."

-

the best person ever: how does one relationship

green son of a bitch: just because I'm in a relationship does not mean I know how I did it

~gay~: wait, when is your date??

the best person ever: Saturday

~gay~: okay, I'll get back to you on that if my date goes well

green son of a bitch: when*

green son of a bitch: manifest that shit

~gay~: lmao sure

~gay~: do you guys remember when we have the mythology test?

the best person ever: Monday. Physics is on Friday

the best person ever: my house has a library we can study there

green son of a bitch: a fucking what???

the best person ever: library?

green son of a bitch: how the fuck do you have one in a house?

~gay~: didn't your dad write, like, 5 books and find some of the most famous discoveries in archeology

the best person ever: yes

green son of a bitch: that explains it

-

Reyna was freaking the fuck out.

    No, more than that. Reyna was pretty sure she was going to throw up because attached to her locker was a note from the person who she had succeeded in avoiding for a total of 1.5 months.

    Reyna was perfectly fine with never seeing Thalia again. No, because that was her soulmate.

    Reyna did not want any of that bullshit.

    God, romance is so fucking exhausting. She'd seen it from afar. Hylla and whatever partner they had. Nico and his insanely obvious crush on Will (If Reyna could see it, then the whole world knows). God, even Piper and her crush on Shel. Reyna has yet to see if it was mutual.

    The point is, she didn't like it. She didn't want it for herself. She wanted to commit marriage fraud with Nico if he was still single at age 28, become a lawyer, and maybe commit arson.

    That was it. Is there any space for a romantic relationship? Fuck no. That would mean no marriage fraud, and what's the point of unfair tax benefits if you don't abuse them?

    There was still a note in Reyna's hands despite all of this.

    Meet me in the women's bathroom in 3-200. -Thalia

    P.S. Don't even act like you didn't see this, Reyna.

    Goddamn, not only could Reyna not just ignore the letter, the bathroom in question was across the school and upstairs.

    Reyna groaned and prepared herself for the trek.

-

Shel, Alex, and Sadie spent 30 minutes studying for the physics test in two days before going through Shel's closet for the gayest things she could wear.

    In the end, they came up with combat boots, crew socks, a red plaid skirt with a slightly oversized t-shirt that read: Can you, like, not? tucked into it. The look was completed by a tunic length, black jean jacket. They decided to leave the beanie out of the equation. Instead, they put earings in her diath, tragus, lobes, and helix.

    Leona invited herself in and somehow managed to tame Shel's thick and tangled hair with just a bit of leave-in and mousse. She quickly grabbed Shel's eyeliner and started working on makeup.

    "Sadie, how do you calculate force?" Alex asked, reading from one of Shel's flashcards.

    "Momentum times acceleration."

    "Correct. Shel, what is motion?"

    "A change in speed or direction," Shel said, keeping her eyes closed.

-

Shel arrived at the skating rink just in time. It had started pouring.

    "Hey, where are you?" Piper asked when Shel picked up.

    "I just got a ticket. Are you getting rollerskates?"

    "Yeah."

    "Okay, I'll find you when I get there, okay?"

    And she did. Piper was struggling to stand in the bright orange skates. It looked so bad with her ripped skinny jeans and patterned button-up.

    Piper tried to take a step and ultimately failed. Shel caught her before she hit the floor. "Don't die," she said.

    Piper looked up at her, mouth agape. "You look pretty."

    "Thank you," Shel said with a blush. "So do you."

    Piper looked down and smiled. "Have you ever skated before?"

    "I had a phase in middle school. I even had my own rollerskates. They don't fit me anymore and I haven't done it in a while," Shel answered.

    "Okay, so I'm just going to embarrass myself by falling."

    Shel snorted. "No, look." She pointed to a large group of 10-year-olds. "There's no way in hell they know what they're doing." As Shel said that, one of the kids fell. "Oh, shit," she said as Piper started hysterically laughing, placing a hand on Shel's shoulder to rest her head on as she tried to breathe through the giggles.

    "I feel so bad laughing," Piper said between breaths.

    Shel playfully rolled her eyes and grabbed a pair of roller stakes.

-

    Shel remembered the basics of skating. It all came back to her quickly as she stepped into the rink.

    Piper, on the other hand, fell almost immediately. "Okay, how do you do that?" she asked.

    "Just bend the knees and shift your weight," Shel said. "Here, hold my hand and I'll just start cruising."

    Thankfully, it wasn't busy. They were able to slowly drift around the rink with no true sense of direction. Staking backward took a bit to get used to, but Shel got the hang of it in no time. Piper began to slowly start helping her date gain traction.

    "Okay..." Shel said.

    "No," Piper groaned. She knew where this was going and squeezed Shel's hands. "Don't let go, I'm going to fall."

    "I'll be right next to you," Shel argued. "Besides, I stopped doing any of the work a while ago. I'm surprised you hadn't noticed."

    Piper looked down, and Shel was true to her word. She was just standing there, adjusting if they were going to hit someone.

    So, Piper let go as Shel began to spin in tiny circles around her. Piper snorted at the sight. "You're like a vulture."

    "I am circling you for protection."

    It proved to be needed as Piper stumbled at a turn, and Shel grabbed her arms, putting her upright. It left the two just inches apart.

    Shel skated toward the railing, with Piper still in her arms.

    Piper could see every detail of Shel's face. How the brown of her eyes was lighter in the darker rink. How her brows seemed to rise higher with every millisecond in this position. How she was taking in the same shuddering breaths as Piper. How her eyes went from Piper's lips to her eyes. After a moment, Shel just stared into them.

    Shel didn't break her gaze as she asked. "Can I kiss you?" And she didn't break her gaze when Piper nodded.

    She did when Piper cupped Shel's face in her hands and kissed her. Shel looped her arms around her neck, pulling herself closer.

    The kiss only lasted a moment. One life-altering moment.

    Piper felt that tingle on her wrist but didn't look down until she saw Shel do the same.

    Piper kissed Shel again when her name was written in neat cursive on Piper's wrist.

*spins in chair to face you*

hi

welcome back to random tangents with Gabby

first i'd like to apologize for not updating in 2 weeks i had to write and essay and it took the life out of me

second, i did a thing again with this chapter

third, story time!!!

so in my school we have gym and mondays and tuesdays are used to learn about more of the medical aspects of health and wednesday to friday is physical health. that means that the first two days of the week are in a classroom and the rest is in the gym

on tuesday a new guy comes in and sits next to me because assigned seating

on wednesday we are supposed to use weights to work out. i work out in my free time so i just vibe with the 5 lbs.

now i have 2 straight friends and they saw this new guy and they left me

i was like, okay they're probably just bored but i'm not so imma stay here

the next day we are in the gym and after roll, this girl (we shall say lola) says MARIA DID YOU FIND OUT HIS NAME

maria is like no i didn't hear it

i'm over here like??????? who????

so they point to him and i'm like oh yeah his name is yadda yadda

and they go fucking crazy and they start talking to me about how THEY WERE WATCHING HIM WORKOUT

so i look at them and they are staring at this guy. so i think, ok i'll see if i find him cute

so i look at him

he was staring back at lola and maria

and then he looks at me

and my stomach drops

1- he thinks i'm one of these girls and i'm a lesbian

2- I LOOKED AT HIS FIT AND IM PRETTY SURE HE IS GAY

IT LOOKS LIKE A GAY GUY TRYING TO FIT IN WITH THE STRAIGHTS SO IT LOOKS SO STRAIGHT THAT ITS GAY YK?

i try to tell my friends and they were like

i kNoW a GaY wHeN i SeE oNe

and i'm like.... are you aware of the the fact that i am 💅💅💅💅

and k watched their faces drop

fourth tangent: guys i'm turning 15 on valentine's day

wow

i'm old

fifth tangent: dude permutations and combinations are so easy???? like where have you been throughout my entire year in algebra 2??? why couldn't you save me earlier????

sixth tangent: one of my other friends was like, hey you know heatwaves right?

i was like, yeah that's that fanfic that broke ao3

friend: broski what in the actual fuck are you talking about

so i spent a while explaining that to her which was fun

ok now let's actually talk about the chapter

i love the idea of going to a skate park because that feels so classic and cute.

i also want to do one with a drive in theater. that'd be fun

also, there were so many mini plots going on in this chapter

ummm i got a lot of inspiration for reyna when i was talking to my aroace friend and they said something along the lines of her internal dialogue and i think that they are iconic for that

anyway. idk what to do now

love y'all!