XIII. Nature.

Me and Jacob sat silently on the boulder as we watched the waves crash onto the shore. It was still light outside and I still had more than enough time before I had to go to Angela. After a long while of silence I glanced over at Jacob, who was very clearly deep in thought.

His eyebrows were knitted together and he was nibbling on his bottom lip. "What are you thinking about?" I asked him softly as I raised my eyebrows.

He sighed softly as he lowered his eyes to his lap. He was silent for a few seconds longer before looking back towards the waves as he spoke. "That day on the cliff, if you just waited for me, like we talked about, Alice wouldn't have seen you jump and thought you committed suicide." He muttered softly and my eyebrows furrowed. "They wouldn't have come back and things would still be like they were before that day." He insisted before looking over at me. "We'd probably be in my garage like it was any other Friday."

I silently stared at him for a second, my eyebrows still furrowed and a frown tugging at my lips. I thought back to those three months. How depressed and sad I felt. How lost I felt. How nearly suicidal I had gotten in my attempts to feel closer to Edward.

"So you rather have me depressed than have the Cullens here?" I asked softly as my face went blank and I lowered my head, staring down at my lap as I fiddled with my hands.

"You weren't depressed when you were with me." Jacob argued and I scoffed in disbelief as I shook my head. He was aware that, that was not how it worked, right?

"Jacob, you have no idea what I lost when Edward left." I argued as I shook my head before looking at him, my eyebrows furrowing once again. "You heard Alice, we're soul-" I continued but was cut off by Jacob loudly scoffing at me.

"Oh that is a bunch of crap!" He yelled as he shot up to his feet and I carefully stood up on the boulder. "If he loved you that much, he wouldn't have left you!" Jacob yelled at me again.

My eyes squinted as I stared at him. I silently stared at him for a second before slowly shaking my head with an aching heart in my chest. "You know, I miss those old days too...you were a lot less of a jerk back then." I muttered softly.

He stared back at me for a second before rolling his eyes and shaking his head as he looked away. "Look at that." he spoke as he pointed a finger toward the water. I followed his gaze, seeing an eagle sweep down close to the water, grabbing a fish with his long claws before flying in the direction of the mountains. "Nature taking its course-hunter and prey, the endless cycle of life and death." he muttered softly, and my eyes squinted as I looked at him, wondering where he was going with this. "And yet, you don't see the fish trying to plant a kiss on the eagle." He spat as he shook his head and I sighed. That's where he was going with this. "You never see that."

The one side of my lips pursed as I crossed my arms over my chest, staring out at the open water in front of us. "Well, who knows? Maybe the fish was trying." I replied sarcastically as I shrugged my shoulders and Jacob shot me a pointed look. "It's hard to tell what a fish is thinking." I muttered as I looked at him with squinted eyes. "Eagles are beautiful birds."

He scoffed in disbelief as he raised his eyebrows at me. "So that's what it comes down to?" He asked me as he slowly shook his head. "Looks?" he questioned harshly.

My eyes widened and I huffed at him. "Don't be ridiculous!" I snapped at him. "I love Edward!" I insisted in a loud voice. "And you may not understand it, but there is a bond between us." I insisted and he rolled his eyes at me. "It's not a choice for either of us." I said softly as I shook my head. "But even if it was, I'd still love him!" I insisted as my voice grew louder again. "I love every last part of him! How he is with me, how he makes me feel! All of it! How hard is that to understand?"

"It's impossible to understand!" he yelled as he threw his hands up in the air before slamming them back down by his sides. He stared at me with an angry look on his face and a deep frown on his lips.

"Then enlighten me on what is the appropriate reason to love someone?" I questioned him as I raised my eyebrows, my head tilting to the side.

"Well, maybe start with your own species!" He yelled as he pointed his hand towards me, his jaw clenching as his nostrils flared while his anger grew more and more.

I let out an amused scoff as I nodded my head. "Well, I guess I'm screwed then because I'm stuck with Mike Newton." I mutter sarcastically as I quirked an eyebrow and Jacob's face pulled away as his lips pulled into a frown. I nodded my head at him. "Yeah, not what you wanted to hear, right?"

"I'm human." He insisted softly as he stared at me with an upset look on his face. His lips were still tugged into a frown and his eyebrows were slowly pulling down as they furrowed.

"Yeah, only half the time." I replied as I nodded my head. I wasn't going to be nice and considerate to him if he couldn't do the same for me. I was done playing the nice girl who just went along with everything in fear of ruining something or losing something. "Humans don't turn into animals."

"I didn't choose this." He gritted out as he pointed his finger at his chest, continuing to stare at me with that upset look on his face.

"And you think Edward did?" I questioned him somewhat harshly as I raised my eyebrows. "He was sick and dying, when he got turned." I informed him as I crossed my arms over my chest. "He didn't ask for it, he doesn't even want it!" I yelled.

"They shouldn't exist." he gritted out as he got closer to me, his face intimidatingly close to mine. "Their existence goes against nature." he spat.

I scoffed in amusement again as I shook my head, a sarcastic grin tugging at my lips. "Yeah, speaking of unnatural." I muttered as I stared at him, raising my eyebrows.

Jacob pulled away from me, shaking his head. "I was born this way, I wasn't made into what I am." He muttered in a low voice. "I'm still more human than he is." he insisted. "At least my heart still beats."

I silently stared at him for a second before raising my eyebrows. "Is this how it's gonna be now?" I asked softly as my head tilted to the side.

Jacob's lips pulled into a tight line as he lowered his head for a second. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about your bl- vampires." He spoke, quickly correcting himself before he could mutter the word that would piss me off even more. I nodded in agreement.

We sat outside for a few minutes longer before going back to his house. I still had some time left so we went inside and sat down at the kitchen table, drinking some juice as we spoke about everything except the Cullen family.

"Tell me, how's Quil doing?" I asked him, taking a few sips of the orange juice as I raised my eyebrows at him. "He was so scared about this last time." I muttered softly as my lips pulled into a tight line, remembering that day in my truck. That day my life flipped upside down for a second time.

"Ah, Quil..." Jacob spoke as he tilted his head back, softly humming as he stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry..." I apologized softly as I pursed my lips, eyeing him over the rim of my glass.

He chuckled as he shook his head at me, meeting my eyes with amusement. "Don't say that to him." he warned me playfully as he took a big swig from his juice, finishing almost half the glass in a second.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as my head tilted to the side. "What?" I asked in confusion as I leaned forward, resting my chin on the palm of my hand.

"Quil is not looking for pity. Just the opposite, he's jazzed. Totally thrilled." Jacob explained as a little smirk tugged at one side of his lips.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "He likes it?" I asked as I sat back in my chair. I was surprised he liked it. He was so scared of what was happening and it didn't seem like any of the others did like their new life.

"He thinks it's the coolest thing to have ever happened to him. Part of it is finally knowing what's going on, having his friends back and being part of the in crowd." He explained as he shook his head while getting up and refilling his glass of juice.

I scoffed softly in amusement. That seemed accurate for Quil. I looked over at Jacob, raising my eyebrows again as a little grin tugged at my lips. "So you guys are the in crowd?" I asked him with a hint of amusement in my voice.

Jacob chuckled softly as he sat back down in his chair again, nodding his head. "In a way I guess." he replied and I chuckled softly as I nodded at his words.

I took a few more sips from my juice before turning back to Jacob again. "So, when did Leah join the pack?" I asked curiously as I raised my eyebrows, my head tilting to the side again.

Jacob took a deep breath before sighing, pursing his lips as he lowered his head. "Around when her dad died." He replied and I nodded along to his words again. "Her brother Seth, also phased. He's only fifteen. One of the youngest we've had. Sam keeps him home studying, but he's chomping at the bit. Wish it was Leah who'd stay home."

My eyebrows furrowed deeply and my head cocked to the other side as I stared at Jacob. "Come on, don't be that guy." I whined softly as I shook my head before finishing the last of my juice.

"No, it's... It's not a chick thing." He quickly explained as he shook his head. "It's... you know, a triangle thing." he continued and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "We all have to live the Leah, Sam, Emily pain-fest. Wolf telepathy, remember?"

My lips parted, my eyebrows remaining furrowed as I slowly nodded my head. "So, Sam dumped Leah for Emily?" I asked him as my eyes squinted. That seemed mean and not like Sam. I didn't know him that well, but he didn't seem like that kind of person.

"It wasn't like that." He quickly replied as he shook his head, tightly pursing his lips. "Sam hates himself for hurting Leah. But, Emily was the one." he explained as he shrugged his shoulders.

I couldn't argue against that, no matter how painful this must have been for Leah. Over a year ago I would have thought this was bullshit. But then I met Edward Cullen and realized we had absolutely no choice in who we loved or how much we loved them. "Yeah, I guess it's sort of chooses you sometimes." I muttered softly as I nodded

Jacob shook his head at me. "It's more than some crush, Ana." He explained as he stared at me with slightly furrowed brows. "Sam imprinted on Emily."

My lips pulled into a pursed smile as I stared at Jacob. "I know." I replied as I gave a small nod without breaking eye contact with him. I didn't think of this as just a crush. Love like that wasn't just a crush. I would know. "I'm not talking about a simple crush." I told him as I shook my head. I silently stared at him and my eyebrows furrowed as I thought about what he called it; imprinting. "Do I even want to know what that is? Imprinting on someone is like..." I muttered, my voice drifting off as I waited for him to explain.

"Like when you see her, everything changes. All of a sudden, it's not gravity holding you to the planet. It's her. Nothing else matters. You would do anything... Be anything for her." he explained as he stared down at the table, a distant look of awe in his eyes, his voice soft and gentle.

" It sounds like you know the feeling." I replied softly as I offered him a small smile. "Have you... imprinted on someone?" I asked him as I raised my eyebrows.

He quickly shook his head as he pulled his lips into a tight line. "You'd know if I had." he informed me and I slowly nodded in understanding. "I just have a direct line to Sam's thoughts." he explained as he shrugged his shoulders.

I took a deep breath, raising my eyebrows as I shifted back in my seat. "That must get interesting sometimes." I commented as my head tilted to the side.

"Sure." He scoffed in amusement as he playfully rolled his eyes and I chuckled softly. He went silent for a second before shaking his head. "I don't know, I'm still finding my bearings with all of this." he muttered softly.

"You seem to manage well." I replied as I gave him a half-hearted shrug of my shoulders. A small grin tugged at my lips. "Not as good as Quil though." I mused as I shook my head.

He laughed as he shook his head in agreement. "Yeah he's most siked for not aging." He replied as he crossed his arms over his chest, smiling softly.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and it took me a second to process his words. He wasn't going to age? Was I the only one around here who's getting older by the day? That seemed highly unfair.

"Not aging?" I repeated as I raised my eyebrows in curiosity and confusion. Jacob nodded in confirmation and my eyebrows furrowed. "You're not gonna get old?" I asked him, needing complete clarification to wrap my head around this.

"Well someday, eventually." He replied as he shrugged his shoulders and my eyebrows furrowed even more in confusion. "It only happens when we get enough control to quit." He explained and my lips parted as my eyes squinted, still not on the same page as him. "When we stop phasing for a solid length of time, we age again." He continued and I slowly nodded, like it made sense. "But it's hard because it's a lot of self-control to not phase." He added. "It takes years."

I slowly nodded my head again, in half understanding as I pursed my lips for a second. "So you're really not that different from-" I begin to mutter softly without thinking.

Jacob cut me off with a pointed look. "Don't even go there." he warned as he shook his head and I hummed as I nodded my head, knowing it as I said it.