it was bittersweet to watch the scars on my arms slowly fade
they had been part of me for so long
they fade visibly, but i can still feel the pain of each cut in my flesh, my arm stinking as i try to sleep
i hated seeing them, but for some reason, i hated watching them fade
the scissors were hovering on my skin that had been smooth for weeks now
i wanted the scars
i wanted the reminders
i wanted to feel something
but even as my skin became overwhelmed with uneven lines, i felt numb
i didn't cry, i didn't care to, i couldn't
never did i draw blood, not until tonight
tonight, i wanted it to last
tonight, i didn't want it to fade

-november 15, 2024