It was a late Friday night when I decided to stroll through the park.  Jet lag had me reluctantly awake.  I walked across the street from my hotel.  The park was almost pitch black.  The only things that lit up the night were the sparse dimly lit street lamps and the stars above me.   The deeper I walked into the park, away from the city lights, the clearer the sky above me became.  There was no actual trail I was following, but I continued on, disregarding the risk of ending up lost.  I stopped in my tracks as I looked up to the sky.  Here in this spot I could see the stars above me so perfectly as if I was in space itself.  My surroundings were vaguely quiet. I could hear the distant sounds of the streets, but they were soft like a hum.

     “I didn’t think I’d ever find anybody out here.” The voice of a woman said from behind me.

     The statement startled me and I turned around quickly.  The woman behind me wore a gentle smile. Her skin looked almost as pale as mine in the dimness. She began to lie down a blanket as she held a book under her arm. She seemed to be struggling.  I helped her with it and she thanked me.  I nodded but kept quiet, afraid that if I speak she would question my accent and realize who I was.  She sat on top of her blanket and placed her book down. 

     “What’s got you out here so late?” She asked while looking up at me. 

    I shrugged and came back with no other reply, but was wondering the same about her. 

     “I have a passion for stars.” She said as if she read my mind. She was looking past me now, up at the sky. 

     I laughed. At first thought I assumed she meant she was into celebrities.  How simply she meant the phrase and how heavily I took it was funny. 

     She looked back at me and laughed faintly. “Are you, uh, laughing at me?” She asked rather confidently. 

     I shook my head. “No, no. I, uh,” I laughed again as I made a serious of small hand motions to my head. I was trying to word that it was my train of thought that made me laugh and not her, without sound crazy. “It was an inside joke kind of thing.” 

    She nodded and looked back up at the sky. “Oh.” Was all she said.

    We remained silent. I wanted to leave, but felt it would be rude to just walk away, and the silence was too awkward for either one of us to speak. 

     “You’re not from around here I guess.” The girl asked reluctantly as if it were her last resort. 

    “No, I’m just visiting.” I replied. She didn’t seem to know who I was, which I liked and wasn’t going to change. 

    “What part of Ireland are you from? I have some family in Westmeath County.” She looked up at me again. 

     “That’s where I’m from, Mullingar to be exact.” I was enjoying the small talk. 

     “Oh wow, that’s pretty interesting.” She smiled. “I’m only fifty percent Irish though. My mother’s Italian and French.  But anyways, what has you here in New York?”

     “Family.” I lied and I shifted my weight to the other side. Standing was putting strain on my knee.

     She nodded. “Do you, uh, want to sit?” She asked as she made room for me on her blanket. 

     I nodded and turned around to sit down, but my knee gave way and I lost my balance.

     “Whoa there tiger.” She said as stood up fast and grabbed me before I could fall.

      “This fucking knee is always giving me shit.” I groaned as she helped me sit down onto the blanket. I hadn’t realized that I was clung to her arm until she tried to pull it from my grasp. “Oh, sorry.” I let her arm free.

     She shook her head and rubbed her arm. I had held on so tightly when she caught me that I had left an imprint on her arm. “It’s fine. My father has the same problem with his knee. How’d you mess yours up?” 

     “I don’t really know to be honest. Probably just wore it out from the gym and stuff.” I shrugged. “But it fucking sucks.” 

     She nodded and seemed to not know how to reply. She went quiet for a moment. “I’m Beth.” She looked over at me again. 

    “Niall.” I replied. 

     We fell into silence again and turned away from each other . This time I broke the quiet trance.

    “Why do you come here by yourself?” I looked over at her. 

     Beth looked back at me.   This was the first time I actually looked in her eyes.  They were a crystal ,pale blue color with light shades of green scattered about..  

      “Whenever my boyfriend’s being a dick, I come out here for some peace and quiet. I let him cool down before I go back.  This is like my safe zone.” She laughed a bit. “I’ve been coming here a lot more often lately. He and I keep getting into stupid little arguments. The love of my life has a very short temper.” She laughed faintly. 

     “The things we do for our soul mates, huh?” I chuckled. 

     She shook her head. “He’s not my soul mate.” 

    “Why not?” I asked. “What’s the difference?” 

    She laughed like I had asked a dumb question. “Well, one’s a choice and the other isn’t.” 

     “You can’t choose who you love. It’s a common saying!” I laughed.

     “On the contrary Niall, you see, we have complete control over who we love.  Love develops over time and there are signs, and you know it’s coming before it even happens. You have time to react to it.  A soul mate, you have no choice over. Some higher being already chose somebody out there that is going to spend the rest of their life with you and you have absolutely no knowledge of it, even if you come face to face with that person.”  She was speaking so passionately on the topic and I was oddly intrigued, but strongly opposed her idea. 

    “That’s a heap of bullshit. I’ve fallen in love so many times and I couldn’t choose who it was.  They didn’t even love me back but I had no say in my feelings. I couldn’t control them.” I sounded a bit rude.  

     “That’s exactly my point. You can have more than one ‘love of your life’ but only have one soul mate.” She laughed softly. It was kind of cute. 

     I opened my mouth to speak but her phone began to ring.  She apologized and answered it. She talked very little as she listened to the man on the other end speak. 

    “I’ll be home in ten minutes.” She paused. “It’s okay.” She laughed slightly. “I love you too.” She hung up and looked over to me as she stood up. She held her hand out to me. “I have to go. Do you need help getting up?”

    I nodded and took a hold of her hand. I came to what felt like a frozen-state as I felt a weird feeling overwhelm me. I couldn’t quite describe what I felt at this moment, words were incapable of that. I looked up at Beth who seemed to not be affected at all by the touch of our hands. She pulled me up slowly to my feet. 

     “I, um, uh, thank you.” I stuttered. 

“No problem.” She smiled. She folded up her blanket and picked it up along with her book.  “Nice talking to you Niall.” She began to walk away. 

     “Hey!” I called after her. “Wait!”

     She turned around to me but slowly continued to walk backwards.  “What?” 

     “Can I get your number or something?” I yelled over the distance. 

     It was very dark and she was too far away for me to see clearly, but from what I could make out it seemed as though she was smirking. 

     “If we see each other again, I’m calling us soul mates. You can get my number then.” She laughed and then turned around, disappearing into the darkness. 

     I sighed. There was no way in hell I’d ever see her again.  New York is a zoo and I think I just lost the girl of my dreams in it. 

     I looked at my phone for the time.  It was nearly midnight.  I decided to head back to my hotel room and try again to get some sleep.  It took me a while, but eventually I found my way through the wooded area of the park back to the way I came.  I walked along the streets yet again until I arrived at my hotel.  

     I laid in my bed and looked up towards the ceiling as I tried everything in the book to try and get some sleep. My alarm went off at eight. It felt as though I was only lying in bed for five minutes, not eight hours. However, the lack of sleep did not bother me. I knew that I would sleep like a baby tonight and catch up on the missed hours.

    I got out of my bed and undressed for my morning shower. I washed up, got dressed in whatever I grabbed first out of my suit case, and then dried and brushed my hair. I hardly ever wore my hair flat like this, but I had forgotten my hair gel in Toronto. I hid my hair under one of my many snapbacks. I looked at myself in the mirror and then wondered why the fuck I set my alarm for eight in the fucking morning. I didn’t have to work for another ten hours. What the hell was I supposed to do with all this free time? I grabbed my wallet and phone from the side of my bed and walked out of my hotel room. I decided to go shopping and maybe buy a new snapback or some breakfast. 

     As soon as I stepped out of the hotel, I was surrounded by a small group of girls.  They were obviously fans. I worked quickly, taking pictures and signing autographs, so that the crowd wouldn’t grow any larger and I could continue on with my day.  When I was finally free, I walked away and put on my sunglasses. I was only stopped a few more times until I was a good distance away from the hotel.  I was completely free now.  I walked on merrily until I got to my destination.  The bell on top of the door rang as I entered ‘Hoodz’, one of the best hat stores worldwide. It wasn’t too full. There were only a few customers that I could see. None were very appealing to the eye. Two out of the three looked as though they couldn’t afford any of the overpriced hats in the store. The third was a taller boy and I couldn’t see his face. He had dark hair and his back was bigger than mine. I felt almost immediately jealous of him and I mentally laughed at myself for that.  I looked from shelf to shelf trying to find a hat that satisfied me. I slowly walked while I looked at the hats. I found nothing I liked and left the store. 

     I visited a few more stores until I made my way into Urban Outfitters.  I decided I could use a few more shirts for the tour.  I dug through piles of clothes people left a mess and looked for my size.  Finding no shirts in my size, I went to another shirt that caught my attention and searched through it.  I saw the same man from the hat store looking through a rack of shorts. I chuckled to myself and shook my head, returning my attention to finding my size. 

     “Nick, Nick. You have to get these or I’m never touching you again.” I heard the familiar voice of a girl say. 

     I looked up to see Beth holding a pair of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle boxers out to the tall man from the hat store, who I assumed to be Nick.

    Nick took the pair of boxers from Beth and laughed as he examined them. “These are gold babe.” He laughed again. “How much are they?” He looked for a price on the tag. “Because I actually want these.” 

     Beth giggled. “Does price really matter with something this awesome?”

     “You’re right. Fuck price tags, let’s get these. Just go grab my size babe.” Nick handed the boxers back to her and pulled a pair of jeans off of the rack. Beth laughed and stood on her toes to peck his cheek. 

     I looked back to the table I was at and saw the Turtle boxers beside me. I looked back over quickly to see Beth making her way over. My mind went into a panic. I was torn between allowing her to see me and bolting out of here. Beth has a boyfriend, and I know that I have no other intentions than to be with her. I never wanted to be a home-wrecker but-

     “Oh. Wow. Hello again.” Beth said, interrupting me from my mental battle. It was too late to decide anything now. 

    “Um. Uh. Hey,” I paused and scratched the back of my neck, “fancy seeing you again.”

     Beth seemed be in some kind of shock. She had a skeptical look on her face as if she was trying to make sense of something. “Yeah. Uh. Yeah.” She glanced back at her boyfriend and then looked back to me. “What I said last night was, um, a joke. I didn’t really mean-”

     “Yeah, I know.” I laughed nervously. I felt like she had just robbed the last bit of hope I had left in me. 

     Beth tucked a piece of her brunette hair behind her ear and looked down.  She put down the boxers and grabbed the pair she needed. She cleared her throat and looked back towards me. “I’ll, uh, see you around I guess.” She walked back over to Nick and they went to stand in line. 

     An angry feeling began to overwhelm me. I clenched my jaw, biting my tongue to keep from saying something stupid out loud. I left the store and returned to my hotel room, continuing on with my life.