I awoke the next morning with a headache and an empty bed. I sat up and looked around the room. It was empty as well. There was no sign of Beth or her belongings. I sat at the edge of my mattress and rubbed my eyes. My alarm read past noon and I still felt incredibly tired. I pulled my boxers on and stood up. Groggily I walked to the kitchen, took some aspirin to ease the ridiculous pounding in my head, and then made myself some breakfast. My home had been trashed the night before. I had a lot of cleaning to do, but I didn't feel up to doing it at the moment. As my toast cooked in the toaster, I dwelled on the drunken sex I had last night. What a stupid mistake I had made. I ruined any chance of becoming something serious with Beth after that premature fuck.

     Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

     I flinched when the toast popped up from the toaster. Losing my train of thought, I spread peanut butter over the bread and sat at my table to eat. After eating, I took a long shower, in which I spent most of my time going over every possible mistake I had made and the rest washing up. I the dressed into some comfortable sweats and began to clean my house.

     Cleaning took hours, but not as long as I expected. Taking up almost ten full garbage bags, I had finished my whole first floor and a majority of my second. All that was left was my room now. I organized my dressers and furniture to their former cleanliness and then began to separate my clean and dirty clothing. As I sorted the pile of clothing, I came across something that wasn't mine, something that could fix the stupid mistake I made. I found Beth's jacket. I remembered taking it from her when she arrived that night. With a bolt of eagerness, I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and took a picture of the jacket. I opened our conversation and sent the picture with the message "Is this yours?" I watched my screen desperately as I waited for her reply. I saw the text bubble appear. A wave, no, a tsunami of accomplishment washed over me at the sight of it.

     "Yeah, thanks! I couldn't find it this morning! Cold walk to the bus stop ://" She replied.

     I hesitated as I wondered whether or not I should ask her why she left. My thumbs hovered over the keyboard as I tried to decide how to word it. At first I typed. "You didn't have to leave." But I wiped out the text finding it to be too blatant. My second attempt was "If you woke me I would have helped you find it." But saying that would have made it sound like I wanted her to leave, which I didn't. I decided to go with, "no problem. You probably would have been warmer if you had stayed in bed... I wish you had at least said goodbye."

     Beth didn't reply right away. The three minute interval between my response and hers felt longer than the two years we had been apart for.

     "I was confused. Still am. And a bit ashamed that I let last night happen."

     "Come get your jacket so we can talk." I wanted to talk to her in person about this. It would feel more real that way.

     "Ok" She replied.

     Beth arrived at my home within ten minutes. As I let her in through the front door, our greetings were quiet and awkward. I led her into the living room. She sat beside me, a cushion sized space separating us on the sofa. We were quiet for a moment. I knew what I wanted to say, but looking at her had gotten my words all mixed up and I couldn't form them into their original sentences.

     Before I could say something, Beth began to speak. Her lips were chapped and raw from them crashing into mine for hours last night. She bit them nervously, making them bleed a bit.

     "I wasn't sure what to do when I woke up this morning. I opened my eyes with the taste of alcohol still trapped on my tongue and your back turned to me. The fact that I woke up with a hangover, naked, and next to some famous star seemed to be the convincing signs of a one night stand."

     This was the first time she ever mentioned my career to me. I had always assumed she didn't know who I really was, which was stupid to even consider knowing that my face is plastered all over the country with four other lads.

     "That has nothing to do with anything, Beth. I've adored you since that night in the park. Every word that comes out of your mouth captivates me." She was no longer looking at me, but down at her hands that were lying in her lap. "I've been addicted to you for two and a half years. You've got me set on the idea that you're my soul ma-"

    Beth cut me off, looking at me now. "Don't say it." She spoke sharply. "I know what you're going to say but just don't say it." Her voice cracked. She sounded as if the idea of 'us' upset her deeply.

     I glided my teeth over my top lip as a nervous habit of mine. "Five years." Beth looked confused. "Five years of altering myself, having emotionless sex, and coping with numerous heart breaks have gotten me feeling incredibly lonely, even if I'm in the biggest of crowds. I've spent five years of my life practically killing myself in the loneliness. The first time I met you I felt like I wasn't alone anymore. It was like you had pulled me back down to earth and made me feel human again. And in the two years that had passed since that day I would look up at the stars every fucking night, thinking that you were looking up at them too." I was looking into her blue eyes. They were teary, yet sparkly as the light reflected off of her swelling tears. "I have lost interest in life, but I, I found it in you. I don't want to let go of you."

     Beth sat silently as she let her tears fall down her cheeks. They seemed to still sparkle as they left her eyes. She sniffled and wiped her cheek dry with her sleeves. "I can't possibly handle two men I can't have."

     "Beth. You can have me. I'm giving myself to you." I sounded desperate, mostly because I was.

     She shook her head and wipes her tears away again. "I can't have you if I'm still in love with another. That's not fair to you."

     "It would only be unfair if you didn't give me a chance."

     "I'm not ready to give chances."

     "Then take one with me."

     "No, Niall, stop."

     I pulled her in and kissed her pathetically, hoping she'd feel the same spark that I felt and change her mind. Instead she pushed me away, tears now streaming down her cheeks. She got up and left, taking her jacket with her.

     I clenched my eyes shut tight and drew in a hard breath. I was two years too late, and my one of a kind girl was now broken and damaged. I should have taken her when I had the chance.

     I swore that from this day on, there would never be a clear sky again.