Chapter Fifteen
Elle's POV

"Flash Back"
May 5th (2016)

The class was a prison sentence without Jacobi to whisper jokes in my ear, poorly timed, and to keep me entertained playing tic-tac-toe. Most mornings, nowadays, after his twelfth birthday, Jacobi trained with his pack, leaving me to deal with Mrs Murdoch every Monday morning.

She wasn't the worst teacher at school, but she blatantly preferred the students from her pack over everyone else. She 'dealt' with the rest of us, giving frosted smiles and only half-deserved results.

She had a list.

It was notorious. She did nothing to hide its existence.

It was filled with the people she refused to like, based on nothing but her skewed principle alone. Members of the Viridi, Vermiculo and Caeruleum packs were inevitably on the list, as well as a select number of humans who had angered her enough to make the cut.

Those who made it onto her list were treated as the dirt beneath her shoes. To her, they were no better than the cockroaches that tainted the earth, disgusting creatures she could not be rid of. Those on her list were graded harshly, and she often had a short fuse for their shortcomings. Mrs Murdoch made sure those on the list understood where they ranked in her classroom every day, never letting them forget.

I was on that list.

I'd never done anything to anger her, but as soon as I'd walked through the classroom doors with Jacobi hanging onto my every word – I had been telling him about the dinner catastrophe the night before – she'd settled a target on my back. If I tried to talk in class, even to answer a question, Mrs Murdoch would turn her beady eyes down on me and sneer at the sound of my voice. I was always wrong when I answered her questions, even if I echoed her sentiments.

I couldn't help the crushing need to be liked by those around me, and she was a thorn in my side. My skin prickled whenever she ignored me, and I flushed with heat when she chided my answers. I'd tried placating her, flailing to succumb to her every need, to fit within the mould of her liking. But, so long as I was friends with Jacobi, she would continue to turn her disgust my way.

I knew I should have done something else while I waited for her, but I'd finished the assignment, and she was talking with an Umbra member. I didn't have anything to go on with, so I turned to the back of my book and sketched a rough cartoonish image of Jacobi's wolf. I'd drawn his ears freakishly large, and his eyes were too small for his face, but I didn't fuss over the imperfections.

Mrs Murdoch saw me before I noticed she'd finished with the other student. I didn't have time to ask her what I could do next before she snapped her fingers, drawing the room's attention to me. 'Miss. Clarke outside, now!' she shrilled.

My chest burned, and I hung my head. If Jacobi had been in the room, he would have done something twice as bad so that he would be sent out alongside me, but I trudged through the door alone, clutching my notebook to my chest.

I hadn't noticed Lachlan before, but he was leaning against the opposite hallway wall when I slinked through the doorway. He was further down the hall, by Mr Letton's maths room, and I didn't see him at first.

I had my notebook in my lap and was busy scratching out the last details of Jacobi's fur. It was hard to get the specifics right when I only had a blue biro. I was so consumed with getting the correct pressure of my pen that I didn't notice when he pushed away from the wall and started walking towards me.

I caught him in my periphery as he got closer, and I glanced up, the pen in my hand hard to control as my palms grew sweaty.

His eyes were furrowed, and a small, quirky smile curled up on one side of his face. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and I wondered if they would look thin, lanky almost, like the rest of his body. He was shuffling towards me, almost hesitantly, but when I looked up, his pace quicked, matching my fast pulse.

His face is young. I thought mindlessly, my pen slipping from my fingers to fall into the crevice of my book. Not like Kaden's. With a clang, I knocked my head against the lockers, recoiling at the thought and grimacing in pain.

I tossed away the thought, burying it deep within my mind. It wouldn't disappear entirely, but I never really wanted it to. As he approached, I studied his face. He had kind eyes.

He was shorter than most of the werewolves in town, almost human height, unlike Kaden, who was only seventeen and already towered over most humans at six-foot-one. Kaden's eyes were a gorgeous brown that swallowed his pupils, an endless dark pool of beauty behind which he hid his emotions. But this boy's eyes were bright, light orbs that splayed his feelings like a movie for all to see.

The only difference that mattered, though, was how this boy looked at me, as though he had never seen anything like me before.

'Hi.'

My mouth felt like sandpaper, and the words dried up in my throat. He had a smile directed solely at me, and it felt like the world around me narrowed until it was just him in the centre.

***

May 21st (2016)

As someone who would never be sure I had met my soulmate, the idea of having one was so alluring that it was painful. Humans didn't know if they had found their soulmate unless their other half was a werewolf.

The moon goddess had blessed the werewolves to read the lines of attraction, and consequently, the fate of our relationships always rested in their hands. So humans prayed to the goddess to bless them with a werewolf for a soulmate, a desperate desire to know their perfect other.

Lachlan was my soulmate. We were young to have met, only fourteen and thirteen, but I knew in every fibre of my body that I loved him entirely.

When I'd told Nanna, she tucked my hair behind my ear and ushered me into her arms. 'There is only one love stronger than the love you feel as a teenager. Protect your heart, my love, because there is no worse heartbreak at this age.'

Her words haunted me for days. Lachlan and I were in the treehouse out the back of his house, letting the silence guide our thoughts when I mentioned it.

'Nanna thinks you're going to break my heart.'

Lachlan laughed, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. 'How can I break your heart if we're going to spend forever together?'

My heart clenched excitedly, and I snuggled closer, holding onto the moment as though my soul depended on it.

***

March 3rd (2017)

'Do you want me to come back over after the meeting?'

No. I thought.

'Do whatever you want to.' I voiced instead, pressing against his chest.

I glanced at the trees, it was only a quick look, but it was enough for Lachlan to notice. 'What's so interesting about the trees? You're always looking at them.' His voice was tight, and his fingers dug into my back as he held me tightly in place.

'Nothing.'

Lie.

He pulled away from me, holding my shoulders stiffly at arm's distance. 'Are you meeting with Jacobi while I'm at my meeting?'

'No!'

Truth.

'I can't believe you, Elle. Why do you still hang out with him?'

'He is my best friend. He's not the enemy.'

It was the wrong thing to say. His bright eyes darkened into amber, the whites of his eyes disappearing as fur sprouted from the backs of his knuckles. My heart crashed in my chest, and the air lodged in my throat, my legs wobbling weakly.

'Stop it, Lachlan. You're scaring me.'

'The members of that pack are dangerous, Elliot. You shouldn't spend so much time there.'

I wanted to defend Jacobi. He didn't deserve to be labelled as dangerous. I wanted to protect the whole Vermiculo pack. They'd been my family since I'd known how to run, and I would always trust them with my life. Lachlan didn't know them well enough if he thought they could harm me.

I wanted to scream and defend them from the top of my lungs so that everyone could hear.

But I couldn't.

Instead, I bit my tongue, the sharp metallic sting of blood rolled across my tongue, and I dropped my eyes. Lachlan, placated, pulled me back into his arms, holding me there until his brother appeared, a solemn figure at the end of the street beckoning him away.

I stood there too long, stewing on my thoughts and chewing through my hesitancy.

If we were soulmates, why did I not want him around?

***

April 13th (2017)

I woke up in the unknown.

White walls were covered with grey shadows, like the bright side of the moon, and a slow melody played from a grand piano. Lacework trim decorated the room, and white light was shining through the sheer curtains.

I was on white sand, which carpeted the entire floor. It was rippled with footsteps like someone had spent time pacing the room. In the centre of the room, its roots buried into the sand, a tree with pale chalky branches and a smattering of rose-pink blossoms stretched towards the ceiling.

The petals were the only touch of colour in the room.

I wanted to reach out and pluck one from the tree. Its beauty shone in the room like a twinkling light. But I waited, watching as a blossom fell from a branch, turning to ash before it reached the ground.

'It's dying.'

I slipped on the sand as I scampered to my feet. My heart pounded in my ears as I looked wildly around the room.

A woman with long white hair sat in the corner of the room, weaving the cherry blossoms into a delicate crown.

She smiled serenely as she looked up, threading blossoms without looking as though she'd done it many times before. 'Come and sit, my sweet girl. We have some things to discuss.'

I must have been dreaming still.

I glanced around, and I couldn't see any doors. But I didn't feel trapped.

'Where are we?'

'Your sanctuary.'

'Why haven't I been here before?' I would have remembered this place if I had dreamt of it. The hauntingly beautiful room would stay in my mind for decades.

'Because you did not create it.'

I settled beside her, letting the grains of sand glide between my fingertips. 'Who did then?'

'Your soulmate.'

'Lachlan?'

She didn't say anything. She just kept threading blossoms into the crown.

I swallowed to bide my time. 'He isn't my soulmate, is he?'

'You already know the answer to that question, child.'

'Why now?'

She set the crown down and regarded me with the calmness of a winter's evening. 'Would you have believed me before today?'

I sighed. 'No.'

'My dear, you've had an injustice served upon you, but it is not my place to say or do anything. This is a matter for the packs to decide, but it is not up to you to bring it to their attention. You will only make things worse for yourself. Just ask him, see what he has to say.'

She settled the crown on my head, and my eyes drooped of their own accord. When I opened them again, I was lying in bed, the crown of blossoms pressing against the side of my head.

***

April 17th (2017)

I had avoided Lachlan for too long. I was avoiding the inevitable demise of our relationship.

But it had to happen at some time.

With arms crossed, he waited by my locker on Monday morning—a storm brewing across his face.

'Go away, Lachlan.' I muttered, trying to move past him to get to my locker. 'I don't want to have this discussion here.'

'You can't ignore me, Elle. What are you going to do, leave me? Who will love you if it is not me?' he trapped me against the lockers, hiding me away from escape.

It felt as though four strings held my heart in place, steadying it in my chest, and one of them had snapped at the revelation; the elastic flicking back to smart against my heart, leaving a branding burn that wouldn't heal anytime soon.

I stopped cowering, forcing myself to be brave.

'Are you my soulmate?'

People gathered around, and I prayed Jacobi would hear the whispers that scoured the hallways. Then, when Lachlan didn't answer, the murmurs grew in ferocity, and it felt like half the school gathered around to watch my world crumble beneath me.

My eyes burned with unshed tears, and a lump in my throat made it hard to talk. 'Are you my soulmate?' I croaked, pleading with him to tell me what I wanted to hear.

He stepped back, and another elastic band snapped back against my heart. 'I never said you were.'

I punched him, the anger making everything white, and tears swelled and flooded my cheeks. I gasped for air, clutching the lockers, trying to stay afloat. 'Go away.'

'Don't do this, Elle.'

'Get away from me.' I turned, curling my arms around my body and squeezing my eyes shut, but his face burned behind my eyes.

Something in the air around us changed, and Lachlan bristled. 'Did you actually think I could be your soulmate?' Someone's arms wrapped around me, and the washing powder Jacobi's mum used to wash his clothes engulfed me. 'You must be stupider than you look. I've got alpha's blood coursing through my veins. How could an alpha like me ever get matched with a weak human like you?'

An inhuman sound broke past my lips, and Jacobi ushered me away, leaving shattered pieces of my heart behind. I couldn't collect the broken pieces, not now, not with the whole school watching as I crumbled.