{I'm updating because it's a good day???}

Chapter 4

A few hours later I was on the couch, my head resting on Marie's lap as we watched a movie. There were two empty pints of ice cream on the coffee table with two spoons. Marie and I shamelessly did this every so often when we needed it. My eyes were half closed, the soothing energy coming from Marie nice. The slow movement of her fingertips on my temple made me to want to sleep.

I heard the front door open and a familiar sigh that was Stein's. I heard him walk over, say something to Marie in her ear I couldn't catch over the movie, and then kiss her cheek. Stein dropped his stuff and then walked to the other end of the couch, moving my legs to his lap so he could sit. "Fight Club?" He asked, watching the screen.

"Don't talk about it." I said, watching the movie, only about fifteen minutes in.

Stein chuckled and leaned back. "I thought your favorite part about movies was talking during them?" He asked.

I didn't answer for a moment, watching the screen show an array of IKEA furniture in the main character's house. I liked IKEA. "Yeah, but not at the beginning of this movie. I want to listen." I said.

We watched, eventually adding commentary. I was quiet most of the time, not really finding anything to say now. When it was over, I watched the credits while Stein and Marie walked into the kitchen with the excuse of them getting a snack.

I sat up, not feeling well. I stood and walked to the stairs after grabbing my phone. I rubbed my face as I climbed the stairs, the large sweater I had on a nice blue color. It reached to my mid-thigh, just above a spot in my jeans that was ripped. I played at the rip for a moment as I stopped in the hallway, looking at my phone as it buzzed. It was from Samuel. I opened it.

'Didn't stay long at the party. Went home.'

I didn't respond, tired. I walked into my room and laid down on my bed, the covers fluffing around me. I closed my eyes, letting out a breath, feeling the sheets with my fingers. My phone buzzed again and I turned over, lifting it from my pillow where I'd thrown it.

'Are you okay?' the text read.

I texted back that I wasn't feeling well. A few messages were traded, relatively trivial things that I got tired of. I supposed that when my mood was poor, nothing really seemed interesting to me.

'Want to go on a walk?'

I looked at my phone that had just buzzed. I thought about it. My covers were soft. Samuel's hair was soft. It was warm here. I had warm jackets. 'Sure. Meet me in the park.'

I sat up, walking back downstairs. I went to the door, slipping my shoes on and putting my phone in my pocket. I tied my hair up, the strands forming a braid. "(Y/n)?" Marie said from the entryway doorway.

I looked back at her. "I'm just going for a walk." I said. It wasn't a lie.

Her eyebrows scrunched together. "Okay. Try and be back by twelve or so." She said. It was only ten now.

"Okay." I said, and opened the door.

"Do you want a jacket? It's cold." She said, going to walk to the coat closet.

I shook my head as I closed the door. "I'll be fine." I said. I crossed my arms to save my warmth as I walked, thinking about things. Too much. Over-thinking. That was a skill of mine. My thoughts drifted to Kidd, and I smiled. He was a good thing about today. His smile. His eyes...

I shook myself as I stepped onto the grass of the park. What was I thinking? I had a... boyfriend? Samuel had never really said he wanted anything official with me yet. We'd been on dates like this. He'd told me that he was scared of Stein. I could understand that I guess.

"(Y/n)." I heard his voice and I turned around, the leaves of the big tree I was under making little shadows on his face. Samuel was attractive. He had light chocolate hair and sharp blue eyes. A lot of girls at the Academy pawned after him. I didn't know why he'd chosen to ask me out, but he had.

I didn't know why, but I moved forward and hugged him. I wrapped my arms about his neck, hiding my face in his shoulder. A moment later, he put his arms about me. Warm. He was warm, but there was something missing. What was missing?

"Are you alright?" He asked, his deeper voice quiet next to my ear.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I said, not the full truth at all. We stayed like that for a few minutes, him moving his hand on my hair. He pulled me back a little and looked into my eyes. He held my cheek, his fingertips warm. He leaned down and kissed me, his lips cool. I closed my eyes and kissed him back.

I pulled away after a second, my hands resting on his chest. I looked at the hem of his shirt, thinking of my next words. "Do you actually want something with me?" I questioned.

"What do you mean?" His voice sounded kind of flat. Did it? I ignored it.

"What I mean is..." I trailed off. "Never mind." I said, feeling a need for sleep wash over me. It had taken a little while to walk to the park. My legs were tired.

"(Y/n)," he said, and leaned my head against his chest. "We've been dating for a few months. I want something more with you." He said. I looked up at him, looking into his blue eyes. They were softer in the darkness.

"Okay." I said, and returned my head to his chest. "Me too." I said, feeling my heart fluttering a little. But, almost, it was if something else was missing.

It didn't matter.

"Me too." I said. I leaned up and kissed him, multiple thoughts coming into my head. One stood out over the rest, and I couldn't make it go away

Golden eyes.