Break it to me gently...

***

CHAPTER 69:

CONFESSION

Mars was undoubtedly the most careless person I knew. His selfish actions had driven me mad time and again. But tonight, for the first time, I wanted him to be that thoughtless boy. What if he didn't care? What if he ignored everything, just like he usually did? What if we both could just let go... stop caring... stop questioning... stop fearing...

But he didn't.

For the first time, he was the one being sensible. He slowed down, his lips gradually pulling away. His forehead rested against mine as he paused, eyes closed, breathing in sync with mine. His hand remained on my cheek, comforting. Even after he opened his eyes and lifted his head, his fingers lingered on my face, reluctant to break the connection.

"This just makes everything harder," he said. "Believe me."

I believed him. Even now, my heart thrashed against my ribcage, yearning to reach out to him again. I clenched my hands into fists to keep from touching him. My teeth tore at my lower lip to stay composed. What if we had continued? I would probably be trapped forever in my own mind's prison, alone in the dark. I knew Mars was protecting me, protecting himself, protecting us. But...

When he finally pulled away, there was no rational explanation that could soften the shock I felt. Nor was there anything to warm my trembling body as his touch might have. I feared I might be trapped in an eternal winter. I watched Mars grab a T-shirt from the corner and slip it over his head, then he left me in the bathroom and returned to the room. It took me a moment to collect myself and follow him. When I entered, Mars was lying on the bed, possibly asleep. His hand was pressed against his eyes, but he turned his head towards me when he heard my voice.

Slowly, I lay down next to him on the bed and pulled the blanket over me. I made sure to keep some distance between us, but I still lay facing him. We watched each other silently for a while. It seemed we had seen and lived through so much together that no words were left to say. I remained quiet and savored this transient moment. The pillow smelled like him. He was still close enough for me to reach out and touch. Despite the heart-wrenching sadness, I somehow felt safe next to him.

"Thank you," I said.

He was taken aback. "For what?"

"For not leaving me alone tonight. And... for saving me more than once."

He managed a faint smile. "You saved me too. If you hadn't thought of the staircase, we'd have been done for."

Remembering that moment made me look away. "We'd have been done for," I repeated. Wolves, teeth, blood... A shiver ran through me. It was terrifying how quickly fear could take over my body.

"Hey..." said Mars. "Stop thinking about it. We're both okay now. It's all behind us."

"Right..." I murmured. I tried to smile but couldn't shake the chill that clung to my skin. I pulled the blanket a little higher.

"You're shivering," Mars noted, his voice filled with concern. "Come here."

When he extended his arm, I hesitated momentarily. He was skilled at this. Gently, he pulled me close, pressed me against his chest, and wrapped his arm around me. His warmth quickly enveloped me, cocooning me safely once again. I asked tentatively, fearing I might disrupt the magic of the moment.

"Doesn't this make everything harder?"

"It definitely does..." he murmured. Yet, his lips touched my forehead, planting a kiss at the base of my hair. "Just one night..." His breath stirred my hair. "Sleep, Olive. I'm here."

I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want this moment to end. I didn't want tomorrow to come. But my body was too exhausted to resist. Darkness slipped in and erased everything without me even realizing it. When I opened my eyes again, the room wasn't dark anymore. A new day was dawning outside, bathing the room in a soft pink light. The most beautiful thing in that rosy glow was undoubtedly the boy next to me. Mars was sleeping. His arm was no longer wrapped around me, but his head was still turned my way. His hair was tousled across his forehead, giving him a peaceful expression.

Instinctively, my hand reached out towards him, but I pulled back before making contact. Dawn had arrived, marking the end of the time I had been granted. From this point, I had no choice but to follow my own path, as Mars would his. Rising from the bed, I resisted the urge to lean down and kiss him one last time. His face twitched slightly, but he remained asleep.

This was better. What could we have said if his eyes had fluttered open? Was there any point in goodbyes when we'd just continue living at opposite ends of a corridor? He was still my soulmate. In some way, we were still tied together. Yet, after last night's revelations, it seemed our days here might soon be numbered. We'd likely find out soon enough.

I tiptoed to the door and eased it open. The corridor was deserted. I couldn't help but steal one last glance at Mars before stepping out and quickly making my way to my room. I took a deep breath... No one had spotted me—no one except Trouble. When I entered, he leaped from the bed, trotting over and rubbing against my legs. I bent down to stroke his head, and he licked the cuts on my hand.

"Thanks, boy. I'm okay," I murmured.

Still seemingly unconvinced, he continued to lick the scratches gently. I wondered what would become of him if I had to leave the Dorm. The thought pinched my heart. I picked him up and brought him to the bathroom, setting him down in a dry spot before I stepped into the shower. Every part of me throbbed more than the day before. Yet, after soaking for an hour, my muscles began to relax slightly, and the sharpness of the cuts started to fade.

The wardrobe selected a plain dress and simple flats today as if I was meant to present myself as a good girl before the celestial authorities. I didn't resist; I got dressed, brushed my hair, and sat on my bed to wait. The first surprise was finding a letter in my mailbox. Assuming it was a summons to the administrative floor, I opened it, only to discover my usual class schedule. Given all that had occurred, and with my body covered in bruises, attending class was out of the question. I remained seated on the bed, just waiting.

Time passed—breakfast, then classes started, paused, and resumed. I paced my room, sat back down, and waited some more. When hunger pangs hit, I nibbled on some cookies from my room. Then, I waited even longer. Yet, no new letters came, no angel appeared at my door, and the Principal didn't make a sudden appearance. As dusk settled in, I was still here in the Dorm, still a soul, and clearly not yet reprimanded for my missteps.

By dinner time, I was convinced no one was coming for me. I took several sheets of paper from my desk, wrote the same message on each, sealed them in envelopes, and stamped them before dropping them into the mailbox. After that, I went back to the wardrobe and, after some haggling, secured a hat and a cardigan to cover the cuts on my arms.

I then made my way to the greenhouse. I walked with my head down, avoiding eye contact as I moved through the garden. It wasn't difficult—after all, for everyone else, it was just another day of classes. I went unnoticed. Even Lea, the only soul who might have cared, was nowhere to be seen.

Once in my garden, I went to the workshop and waited, hoping my friends would come as soon as they got my message. And they did. Diego burst in first, with Ursa just a step behind. Both were panting. Judging by their state, they ran the whole way here.

"Olive, what's going on? Tell me quickly!" Ursa said in a panic, grabbing my arms as she closed the distance between us. When I removed my hat, the wounds on my face became visible. Ursa's eyes widened in horror. "Olive, what happened to you?"

Before I could respond, Lark and Helene were at the door.

"We came as soon as we got the message," Helene began, but she stopped mid-sentence when she saw me.

Lark, who followed a step behind, didn't seem surprised. She had warned me about the Void. Perhaps she already knew what might happen. Her lips drooped.

"What's going on? Are you going to tell us?" Ursa asked impatiently.

I was going to tell them that was the plan. But then Tarben arrived, Blue at his side. Once again, I watched my friends panic at the sight of me. Blue immediately came to my side while Tarben turned pale where he stood.

"How... how did this happen?" he managed to say.

It seemed like the powers that be didn't want me talking to my friends today. Just then, Mars appeared at the door. He had tried his best to conceal the injuries, but he looked just as bad as I felt.

"Mars," Blue gasped, bringing her hand to her mouth.

Mars's gaze lingered on me for a moment before shifting to Blue. I wasn't sure he'd show up when I sent the message. I had braced myself to see him, or so I thought. But in reality, no injury I'd suffered was as painful as facing him.

"What happened to you two?" Tarben asked.

His tone snapped me back to the present. Clearly, we had both been through something profound, and I wasn't about to deny it.

"I'll explain," I said. "Because this affects all of us. Let's sit down."

Everyone settled into the nearest spots. Some grabbed chairs, others flipped over flower pots to sit on, and a few perched on tables. Only Mars stayed standing at the doorway, his arms crossed. I could tell from his expression that he would prefer to keep what we'd discovered a secret. But the information was too vital to withhold.

So, I started to share.

I skipped over the game. I didn't mention Lea's trap or my visit to Mars's room. Instead, I began with the Void. I had gone there to clear my head, and Mars just happened to be there, too. It wasn't long before we were arguing—not that anyone should be shocked by that.

Despite the doubt I saw flickering in Lark's and Tarben's eyes, I kept going without pausing. The rest came easily. The earth collapsed beneath us, and we fell. Mars caught me, and we stumbled upon the cave and followed the light to the Archive. That's when Ursa interrupted.

"What? There's no such room in the Dorm. I know every corner like the back of my hand."

But the Archive was as real as it gets. I continued with the story. As the tale progressed, Ursa seemed to shrink into her place, and the color drained from my friends' faces.

"Our... our lives..." Diego stuttered. "Everything's on those tapes."

He was right. As I relayed Alex's story, it felt like I was living through it all over again. I had to take a seat to continue.

"How could they hide something like this from us?" Blue exclaimed, her frustration evident. Her hands clenched into white-knuckled fists as she gripped the edge of the box she was sitting on.

"I don't think those videos were meant for our eyes," I responded somberly. "They didn't want us to see them. There were guardians protecting the Archive."

That brought us to the most shocking part of our tale. As I described the wolves, Ursa gasped and covered her mouth, Blue brought her hands to her head in dismay, Diego nearly toppled off his perch, Helene bit her finger anxiously, and Lark shielded her eyes with her hands. Tarben's gaze was fixed intently on me.

"How did you escape from them?" he asked.

My gaze shifted to Mars and then back. I recounted what I knew to be true: the battle with the statues, our endless flight, and our desperate final moments ended at a column.

"I can't say how we got out of the library," I concluded. "Maybe every door in the Archive leads somewhere different. Maybe they all open to the library. I don't know. The door disappeared right after we passed through it."

"Probably only those with a key can see the other side," Ursa muttered to herself, her eyes darting around on the floor. It was clear her mind was racing, trying to make sense of what she'd heard. "Like the Principal's floor..." she explained when she realized we were all looking at her. "Only the presidents can access it because we have a key." She pulled on the chain around her neck, lifting a golden key from beneath her sweater. "I'm sure the staff in the Archive have the same."

She was probably right. And that made the suggestion I was about to voice even more implausible. Everyone might think I was crazy. Maybe I was crazy. But I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak. However, Tarben beat me to it.

"We need to find a way to get back there."

***