You don't own me

I'm not just one of your many toys

***

CHAPTER 62:

UNLUCKY PLAYER

I had no chance of going back to the concert. I could barely stand. The realization I had experienced was more shocking than all the troubles that devastated me for days. Fortunately, Lark was by my side. She was the one who took me back to the Dorm, put me in my room, and ended my crying fit with splashes of water on my face.

"Sleep, Olive," she finally said as she laid me on the bed.

A gentle warmth flowed from her hand into my body as she caressed my hair. Perhaps it was this touch that, for the first time in days, allowed me to sleep without thrashing. Or maybe Lark, indeed, was a witch. I could think no longer. My eyes closed, my weary body surrendered, and I plunged into darkness.

I had never dreaded waking up until that morning when opening my eyes felt like a major disappointment. I longed to return to the oblivion that had erased all memories, but even my dreams seemed to have expelled me. I had no choice but to face the day, recall yesterday's events, and confront the consequences. Yet, I couldn't immediately rise; the ceiling loomed overhead like a vast curtain, and the events of my time in this realm replayed there like scenes from a movie.

There were many questions, but only one truly mattered: How had I ended up in this mess? I had always prided myself on being a smart girl; my logic had never let me down before. I knew how to set a goal and pursue it confidently. But now, my mind was like a boiling cauldron. Having seized the helm, my heart dragged me into a storm in pursuit of the impossible. I was drowning in that storm, unsure of how to save myself.

It was excruciating—I had become one of the girls I used to mock and pity, losing myself without realizing when or how. Had I misread the situation, gotten carried away, or surrendered my will? It might seem foolish to blame Mars, but I did. Like many others who had wept over him, I despised him for reducing me to this state of helplessness—and I despised myself even more.

No, I couldn't go on like this. I didn't want this torment or the boy who caused it in my life anymore. My logic would undoubtedly prevail, tearing this storm out of my heart. But how? That was the puzzle to solve. Seeing Mars only intensified the turmoil. If only I could keep him out of my classes, I wouldn't have to face him or these overwhelming emotions. It shouldn't be a problem for him; after all, I had been the one insisting he attend classes with me. Going solo might be challenging, but shedding this pain was worth any struggle.

Yes, this should be my salvation!

Just moments ago, I thought I couldn't leave my bed, but suddenly, I was up like a rocket. I finally had a plan, and planning had always saved me. I'd tackle this issue with effective process management: break down the problem, map out the steps, and correct errors systematically until I reach my goal. The first step was already evident. I took a quick shower, washed away the oppressive feelings, threw on the first clothes I found, and left the room.

It was a quiet day for the Dorm residents: no classes and the lingering calm after lake day left most still lounging in bed. I, however, marched down to the art rooms with the resolve of a soldier. I strode past the silent music studios, bracing myself for the encounter, but the boy I sought wasn't there. It made sense—he wouldn't usually start early after a late performance. Still, I wasn't going to give up.

I headed straight for the stairs, ready to search the cafeteria, the library, or even his room if necessary. Luckily, that wasn't needed. Mars was at the poolside, just out of the water, drying his hair. The sight of him sent a stab of pain through my heart, a stark reminder of why I was there. Approaching confidently, he only noticed me when I got close. Initially, his face softened, but the fire in my eyes quickly dimmed his smile.

"Don't come to classes again!' I blurted, cutting through any pleasantries.

He laughed. "What?"

"The deal is over," I said. "It was a big mistake from the start. I don't want you in my classes anymore. We don't need to see each other again."

He smiled again, but now there was doubt on his face. "Are you crazy, Oliver? What's this all about?"

He was never going to find out what this was all about.

"It doesn't matter," I said. "You're free now. Go back to your old life. Do whatever you want. Just stay away from me. Don't cross my path, and don't talk to me. Isn't that what you wanted anyway?

Mars seemed to realize I wasn't joking. He became serious. "Really, what's going on?"

I took a deep breath and stood as tall as I could, lifting my chin. "I'm releasing us both from this torment. You're no longer my soulmate."

His arm dropped. I had caught him off guard. He started to say something, but I turned and walked away without listening. If I was to stick to my plan precisely, I couldn't afford to linger another second. When I reached the door, I was breathless, the tears threatening to return. But I wouldn't let my heart betray me— I stifled the sobs by biting down on my cheek.

Pride welled up inside me as I reached the cafeteria. I had succeeded. I had faced Mars and completed the task without crying, stuttering, or backing down. I confidently piled a plate with food and sat down to a hearty meal alone since no one else had yet ventured down for breakfast.

When my friends finally joined me, I was devouring a massive cake slice. I wasn't sure if Lark had briefed them, but none inquired about my absence the previous night. Their cautious demeanor hinted they sensed something was off with me. Surprisingly, I was the first to accept Diego's picnic proposal, even though they expected me to refuse.

From then on, I joined my friends in every activity—picnics, chess tournaments, boat rides on the lake, and tea in the garden. I contributed sparingly to conversations and mostly observed in silence. Yet, simply being around people and not encountering Mars brought some relief. As the day faded into the evening, I realized that by removing Mars from my life, I might gradually find my way back to healing.

It felt like a miracle not to see Mars or Lea at dinner, which was why I turned down Helene's offer to watch a movie. Why risk ruining such a perfect day with any unpleasant surprises, right? That's so typical of Olive—always thinking she's in control of everything. Naturally, I thought a quiet nighttime stroll through the empty gardens would magically calm my restless thoughts, assuming no one else would be out at this hour. Oh, how wrong could I be?

"Hey, Olive!" someone shouted from behind the bushes.

Had I just minded my own business and ignored the voice, I wouldn't have seen her. That was my first mistake of the night. It was Lea calling out to me, and she had noticed that I had spotted her.

"Come, join us!" she exclaimed, waving her hand wildly. "We're playing a game."

Four or five others were with her, gathered in a circle around a square board on the ground. The area was strewn with empty milk cartons and cigarette butts, clearly indicating they were all quite intoxicated.

"Thanks, but I'm heading to bed," I said, waving.

In the blink of an eye, she jumped up and was right beside me. The sweet smell of her breath hit my face. I was caught off guard when she linked her arm with mine and tugged at me.

"Oh, come on!" she said. "It's no fun with so few people. We'll only play a couple of rounds, max."

"I don't know the game," I protested, trying to pull my arm away, but she pushed down on my shoulder and forced me to sit on the grass.

"There's nothing to know. Haven't you ever played Spin the Bottle? It's just like that."

No, no, no! I stood up immediately. "I'm not really into these kinds of games," I said. "Have fun without me."

The people around me giggled. "What's wrong? Are you scared?" someone teased.

"She must have something really important to hide," another added.

The girl next to Lea licked her lips suggestively. "Could it be a secret lover?"

"Considering who her soulmate is..." someone lounging nearby muttered.

"James!" Lea scolded him. That didn't stop the others from laughing even more.

There I stood, right in the middle of them, red-faced and fuming like a balloon about to burst.

"I have nothing to hide!" I said through clenched teeth. My fists were balled up. My reaction only entertained them more.

"Then play," one of the girls dared.

I didn't know if someone had told these kids that stubbornness was my weak spot or if they had somehow sensed my defiance, but they knew exactly how to get me. Slowly, I sat back down on the grass. That was my second big mistake of the night. I wouldn't even need to wait long for the third, fourth, and all the rest.

While Lea explained the rules, I was the only one listening. Clearly, nothing about it was new or interesting to the others. The game would start with the first player spinning the wheel, and then whoever the arrow pointed to would draw a card. There were only two colors: white for truth and black for dare.

It was essentially a more elaborate version of Spin the Bottle, except for the lit candle in the middle of the wheel. Supposedly, the candle was magical, and if someone lied when answering a question, the flame would go out, revealing their lie. The dare card was even worse. If the player didn't complete the dare, they would get a burn on their skin as if the candle had been pressed against them. I didn't believe such nonsense, yet I still felt uneasy.

"Let's get started then," James said.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Lea said excitedly. "I saw Mars coming. Let's wait for him."

A wave of dread washed over me. While everyone else craned their necks, trying to spot him, mine stayed glued to the ground. I could sense his presence before I even heard his voice. My attempts to stay away had reached their limit. Mars circled the group and joined his girlfriend at her side.

"Again with this nonsense?" he said instead of sitting down.

"Come on, don't complain for once," Lea said, pulling him down.

Mars sighed and slumped down next to her. He hadn't noticed me until then. I was sure he hadn't because his expression of indifference turned to shock the moment his eyes found me.

"What are you doing here?"

I felt like I'd been punched. The anger that seized Mars's eyes erased all possible responses from my mind.

"Surprise!" Lea said for me. "I convinced Olive to join us on the way here. It's her first time playing, isn't that sweet?"

There was nothing sweet about the situation. Mars's hardened expression was the first thing we seemed to agree on. His gaze shifted darkly from me to his girlfriend.

"Why did you force her into this?" he asked.

Lea was as taken aback as I was. She didn't seem to understand Mars's reaction, nor did I. After everything I'd said that morning, questioning my presence was expected, but his intense anger... Why? Did he think I was intruding on his personal life? Was he upset that I was hanging out with his friends?

"Why did you agree to play a game you know nothing about?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he turned to me.

His accusatory tone shifted my astonishment to anger. He was displeased with my presence. But I wasn't happy to be there either; I had walked right into a trap. Was Mars now going to scold me for something that wasn't even my fault?

"So what?" I snapped. "I'll do what I want! And tonight, I want to play this game."

Someone whistled. Two people clapped. The rest laughed. Mars's eyebrow twitched.

"You don't even know what you're getting into!" He said through clenched teeth.

"Oh... Look at him, all worried about his soulmate..." Someone teased.

"Are you afraid she'll cry in the end?" Another chimed in.

Now red with anger, I would not let Mars embarrass me in front of everyone again. I looked at Lea. "Can we just start the game?" Then I turned to the guy who had taunted me. "We'll see who ends up crying!"

More sarcastic cheers and laughter followed my words. The only ones not laughing were Mars and I. He finally looked away from me and lit a cigarette. I clenched my fists and bit my lower lip.

"Let's get the game started," James chirped, taking a long drag of his cigarette and passing it to the girl beside him.

"Alright, I'm spinning then," said Lea.

There was a brief argument about why she was spinning first. Eventually, we all drew straws, and the girl beside Lea, Leyla, was chosen to start. When Leyla's hand reached for the spinner, I held my breath. It is just a stupid game, I thought to myself. This night would end; I would escape and continue with my plan. Keeping my eyes on the ground and not looking at Mars was enough.

Or maybe... it wasn't.

"Look at that luck," said the girl leaning against James.

Now, everyone was looking at me because the spinner had finally stopped, and the first unlucky player it pointed to was me.

***