Tomorrow is closed...

***

CHAPTER 45:

LA LA LA LA

Despite the late hour, the path from the greenhouse to the Dorm was filled with souls. They were celebrating the arrival of the weekend, of course. I, too, had wanted to celebrate the same weekend quietly in my garden, with my flowers. Instead, I was walking silently between two guards, like a prisoner on her way to execution. To my right was Tarben, to my left Mars... The tension in the air was like a block of ice. With each step I took, it creaked, burned my skin a little more, but never shattered.

Although I occasionally felt Tarben glancing at me from the side, my eyes were fixed ahead. Oh, if only I could get Ursa's words out of my mind, maybe everything would return to normal. But... it wasn't happening. The more normal Tarben was, the more abnormal I felt. I was overly conscious of his every move, misinterpreting the most normal words, gestures, touches. Damn it!

And did Mars's presence make this situation any easier? Of course not. His words were etched in my mind with the same irritating certainty as Ursa's advice. Love, relationships, boys, loneliness, purgatory, life... I didn't want to think about any of these. I just wanted to live my life, pass my classes, take my exams, and get out of here as soon as possible. Unfortunately, none of that seemed likely to happen anytime soon.

At least we had reached the Dorm. I hoped that seeing Blue would put an end to this ridiculous tension. Although Mars's popularity threatened to slow us down several times, he didn't waste time talking to anyone. As always, he didn't let anything come between him and his music. For a moment, I wondered what he would be like if he applied this seriousness and dedication to the rest of his life. Realizing I liked the idea, I quickly pushed it out of my mind. After all, it wasn't real and never could be.

Trouble was the first to enter the studio, heading straight for Luck, who was dozing on the couch. Mars followed immediately behind, with me trailing him, and Tarben a step behind me. While Luck seemed annoyed by our - especially Trouble's - presence, Blue was equally delighted. She jumped up from the sheets scattered on the floor and shouted excitedly, "Olive!" Then her gaze rose above my head, her smile faltered, and her eyes widened. "Tarben?"

"Surprise!" Mars said in his most obnoxious voice. "When you take one, they give you the other too."

The only reason I didn't kick him from behind was that I was a well-mannered, sensible girl who knew social etiquette. Judging by the look on Tarben's face, he was having similar violent thoughts.

Trying to cover up Mars's rudeness, Blue said, "Oh, that's great! The more help, the better. Come on, sit down. We even have some strawberry milk here if you want."

Tarben and I both skipped the milk and settled down on the floor next to Blue. Instead of joining us, Mars sat at the piano. He shuffled through the papers on it. After selecting one and placing it in front of him, his fingers glided over the keys. I expected him to say something, give us a task, or annoy us with his silly jokes. None of that happened. The usual mocking expression was gone from his face. And when he started playing the piano... I think he even forgot we existed.

Accepting that Mars was good at anything was the last thing I wanted to do. Yet now, I couldn't take my eyes off him. It was as if he was created for music or music for him. The notes stripped away his facade, revealing the true soul within him. That soul was calm, free, and... real. More real than Mars would ever show to the outside world.

After a while, his eyes closed, and his fingers continued to play. It was a melancholic melody. I hadn't heard the words yet, but the reproach, anger, and rebellion within could be captured in the notes. Towards the end, that fury escalated. Mars pressed the keys more forcefully. He swayed back and forth, keeping rhythm with his body. I found myself nodding along with him, unconsciously. Then...

"Yes, this is the melody," Mars said, stopping abruptly. He had cut the song short. I was so engrossed that I felt as if I'd fallen off a cliff. Fortunately, Mars was preoccupied with his song; otherwise, he would have mocked me in the most annoying way possible.

"The lyrics are almost done," Blue said, extending the paper to Tarben and me. "Only the bridge doesn't feel right. We're also trying to change the chorus a bit in the finale. We have a few versions, but none of them feel quite right. We thought maybe you could work a miracle again, Olive."

I felt my cheeks redden. My eyes moved from Blue to Mars, but he was looking at his notes, not me. "Let's try it with the lyrics this time," he said.

"Then switch to guitar," Blue said, getting up. "Should it be piano or drums?"

"Drums later," Mars replied. He got up, took his guitar from the stand, and settled into a chair. Blue took the seat he vacated.

"Two rounds."

"Two rounds," Mars confirmed. "I'll handle the solo for the bridge."

"The finale?"

"We'll finish together. I'll skip the lyrics there for now."

"Try the latest lyrics we came up with?"

"Maybe. Let's get to the bridge first... then we'll see."

It was clear they had a communication we mere mortals didn't understand. Tarben and I looked at each other and shared a smile at our mutual bewilderment.

"Don't question it," Tarben whispered.

I giggled. Those giggles got stuck in my throat when I noticed Mars's threatening gaze fixed on me.

"We're starting," he said, without taking his eyes off me. His fingers were plucking the guitar strings as if to prevent themselves from strangling me. Or maybe I was exaggerating; he was probably just warming up. Blue had also begun to play a small melody, familiarizing herself with the instrument. Then, they communicated with another silent command that we didn't understand, nodded, and started the song.

When the guitar and Mars's voice joined the chorus, the melody transformed entirely. I could still hear the same sadness in the tune. However, with the addition of the lyrics, Mars's sarcastic nature was layered on top. The song began with "Too late" and spoke of a lost future. It was written from the perspective of someone who believed there was no tomorrow. Just like Mars... Someone who had closed his eyes to reality, living in the moment without expecting anything. Just like Mars...

But these were not simple words. When you thought about them a bit more, you could hear the longing and hidden hope within. Beneath the playful and indifferent tone, there were broken emotions. It was as if he didn't want it to be this way. As if he was waiting for someone to help. "Maybe one day we'll get it back," Mars finished the second chorus. Then he fell silent, but his hands continued to play. We must have reached the bridge. This was his guitar solo. Also, the part where we needed to find new lyrics. I looked at the paper with the lines he and Blue had scribbled.

Tomorrow is closed. There is no future anymore.

Although the subsequent lyrics varied, all versions began the same way. That was also the title of the song. Tomorrow is Closed. I couldn't help but feel a pang in my heart. The solitary sound of the guitar had also triggered my emotions. When Blue rejoined with the piano, Mars didn't sing the words this time. After one last chorus they played together, he ended the song with la, la, la, la... accompanying the music. I think he was just filling the void with his voice, but I liked it. It suited the song's mocking, melancholic vibe.

After the last few notes, the studio fell silent again. For a while, we all looked at each other without speaking.

"So?" Blue finally said. "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," I said without thinking. Before I could regret praising something Mars was involved in, Mars interrupted and made me regret speaking.

"If it were beautiful, you wouldn't be here, Oliver. Half the song is missing."

"The half that's there is great!" I retorted. "Probably because Blue wrote it."

From the lyrics, I knew this wasn't true, yet Mars didn't contradict me.

"In fact, I haven't contributed much this time," Blue admitted instead. "Mars started writing this song a while ago but kept it hidden. He does that sometimes."

Even though Blue was grinning, Mars seemed uncomfortable with the explanation. "Yes, now that we've covered the back story, can we get to the main point?" he snapped. "The lyrics, ladies and gentlemen. The lyrics! Let's focus, please."

Blue sighed, I frowned, and Tarben cursed with his eyes. Then we all focused. Despite Tarben and Mars constantly bickering with each other, I could say we weren't a bad working group. When the only person who could be silly, a.k.a. Mars, took the work seriously, everything flowed smoothly. We tried different alternatives, wrote, erased, drew, scribbled, and reworked the same parts over and over.

The night I had started on the floor continued standing, on the couch, by the wall, and finally on the piano stool. Blue had fallen asleep on the couch a while ago, and Tarben, who was sitting on the floor, had his head resting backward on her. So for about an hour, it was just Mars and me working. He was right next to me at the piano. He played while I wrote down the changes we discussed. I tried a new line and showed it to him.

"Play it like this," I said.

He looked at the paper skeptically. "It's too soft compared to the beginning." He took the pen from my hand, changed the first line and examined what he had written. "What do you think?"

I thought about it. He had a point. "It really suits the song better this way."

He nodded, his fingers returning to the keys, and he played and sang the finale with these new words. Since the others were asleep, his voice was low, and his touch on the piano was gentle. Perhaps because of that, each line seeped into my heart. My gaze moved from Mars's hands to his face. As he finished, I couldn't help but join him.

"La, la, la, la, la... La, la, la, la, la..."

We had added this part at my insistence. It was a good thing we did. Now that we had reached the end of the song, it fit the remaining lyrics perfectly. Although he had initially objected, I think Mars now agreed with me. As he sang the final notes, he looked at me, singing along with me. La, la, la, la... When we finished, we were both smiling. He placed his hands on his knees and turned slightly towards me. I thought he was going to say something. He didn't. He just kept smiling and looking at me.

"What is it?" I asked, unable to hold back. "Do you like it so much that you're thinking about how to thank me?"

He laughed. "Something like that..."

I shouldn't have, but I laughed with him. Then my eyes drifted to the paper on the piano. "Do you really think this way?" I asked. Mars didn't understand my random question. I pointed to the words we had scribbled. "Do you really think there's no tomorrow?"

His smile faded. "How long have you been here, Oliver? Haven't the days started to feel the same yet?"

I turned to him. "Is that why you live so carelessly? Is that why you don't care about anything?"

He looked away. He didn't like my questions. From the mischievous look that settled on his face, I knew he was about to change the subject with his usual mockery.

"I'm not living carelessly, darling," he said, placing his fingers back on the keys. "I'm enjoying the moment." He started playing a cheerful tune, different from the song we were working on. "If you remember, I advised you to do the same. So, what happened? Did you find someone to go to the carnival with?"

He winked at me from the side, and I frowned at him. "I haven't found anyone because I'm not looking for anyone!"

He pointed to Tarben, who was still sleeping. "Since you haven't said yes to anyone yet, you might consider that handsome lad over there. Poor guy's been hanging around you like puppy."

I almost fell off my seat. Horrified, I looked at Tarben to see if he had heard. He couldn't have; he was still lying motionless. Still, I lowered my voice and leaned closer to Mars.

"Are you crazy? He's my friend."

"Hmm..." Mars said thoughtfully. "He's your friend, but have you ever thought about what you are to him?"

When he winked at me again, I had to dig my nails into my palm to stop myself from poking that eye.

"He's a good guy, though," Mars continued. "We don't get along very well, but he's a decent person. He wouldn't hurt someone he loves. You should consider it."

"Mars!" I said angrily. My voice came out somewhere between a whisper and a scream. It was typical Mars, finding a way to annoy me and pressing on it. But this wasn't just any topic. It was like salt on the wound Ursa had opened. Suddenly, the air felt insufficient. I stood up abruptly and turned away in a huff.

"I'm leaving. I'm tired."

"All of a sudden?" Mars asked, laughing.

Instead of answering, I fled the studio without looking back.

***

Our protagonist runs away and the chapter ends :))

I left the song that inspired this chapter at the top. It's just... sooo beautiful! And I believe it fits Mars's character so beautifully... I didn't even search for another alternative.

This chapter was for #teamMars. We'll be focusing on Tarben in the next one. Dont worry, I'll keep doing my best to keep you torn between the two :D

In the meantime, take good care of your souls. Because this book wouldn't exist without you.

Kisses. EC.