Because I'm right behind you, baby...

***

CHAPTER 43:

NEW SUITORS 

I wish the Dorm that had been so helpful with my flowers would extend its help to other areas too. It didn't. As if Theodor's incident wasn't enough, this time it had decided to throw a planet at me. And of course, that planet was none other than my dear soulmate, Mars. He was coming out of his studio. I was walking so fast from the scene of my escape that I didn't see him. Our collision was inevitable. Before I knew it, I was on the ground, on my butt.

"Oliver?" Mars said, a mischievous smile spreading across his lips as he realized I was the one he had knocked down. "No need to sneak up on me like that. Just say if you want to be close."

He offered his hand to help me up. I shoved it away and got up on my own. Mars chuckled. Leaving him with his annoying grin, I stormed into the music room. We were early. The chairs were arranged in a crescent shape facing the piano, all empty. I navigated through the music stands to the farthest corner and sat down. Defiantly, Mars came and plopped down right next to me. I glared at him.

"What?" he said. "First you jump on me, now you're giving me attitude because I sat next to you!"

"I did not jump on you!" I said, ready to burst.

Mars's grin widened, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from screaming. Angrily, I got up and moved to another chair further back, but was Mars going to leave me alone? Of course not. He got up and sat not next to me this time, but right behind me. At least I didn't have to see his face, but before I could be relieved, he had leaned his arms on the back of my chair, resting his head near my shoulder.

"Aren't soulmates supposed to sit together?"

"This pair of soulmates doesn't need to sit together," I said, pulling my head away as if dodging a fly. But escaping his sweet scent or his laughter tickling the back of my neck, was impossible.

Mars leaned in closer. "You'll regret it when the class starts. After all, the strongest partner is right here."

I turned my head to retort, but no words came out. They couldn't. I hadn't realized he was so close. My nose was almost touching his. I could even count the yellow flecks in his eyes. It felt like we were back in the lake. I lost my voice. I lost myself completely.

Damn it!

Without even questioning why I was so panicked, I stood up. Like searching for a shelter from a storm, I found another chair and collapsed onto it. I must have been beet red; I could feel flames trying to consume my face. I prayed Mars would give up and stay put. Of course, he didn't. For the third time, he changed seats and sat down next to me again.

I deliberately didn't look at him. I deliberately examined the posters on the wall, looked at the instruments, read the notes on the board as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. But... Mars was looking at me from the side, about to say something... Ah! He was going to be the death of me. Unable to stand it any longer, I turned to him.

"Now what?"

He squinted. "Why did you reject that boy?"

I hadn't expected this. I hadn't thought he'd heard us. I didn't have a ready answer. "I..." I tried to find an explanation. Then I got angry at myself for trying to find an explanation. "What's it to you? Why are you eavesdropping on us anyway?"

"I wasn't eavesdropping, dear. Your voices were echoing down the corridor." I opened my mouth to respond, probably with a string of expletives, but he interrupted. "Just saying... rejecting him wasn't nice. What if you can't find anyone else? Going to your first carnival alone..." He exhaled dramatically, his lips drooping. "I don't know... that's kind of sad."

What? Was this some kind of prom? Why couldn't I go alone?

"You should be more open from now on," Mars said knowingly. "No one wants to be alone at the carnival. Luckily, you still have time. Just don't mention that non-existent boyfriend of yours."

"I do have a real boyfriend!" I said, irritated.

Mars rolled his eyes. "How could I not know? Aren't I suffering through all this just so you can get back to him? Must be your first love or something... since it's so unforgettable..."

There it was again, that elusive word... Love... Everyone seemed to know so much about it. Even a player like Mars had an opinion. I was the only one who couldn't figure out my own feelings. Davon... first love... my love... It should have been easy. I should have been able to say yes to Mars without thinking. Yes, he is my first love. He is unforgettable. Instead, I remained silent. I couldn't hide the scowl forming on my face.

"Maybe you should take a break from it until you return," Mars said. "I get it, you love him, but the limbo is too long to spend alone. Trust me, I speak from experience."

"And who are you going to the carnival with, Mr. Know-It-All?" I said. I just wanted to shift the subject away from myself. It was a mistake. A big mistake... Mars's eyes lit up. That dangerous smile spread across his lips. I wanted to suck my question back like a vacuum cleaner.

"It'd be more accurate to ask who the lucky ones are that I'm going with," he said. "I try not to limit myself to just one person. So... if you were thinking about asking us to go together, just know..."

He was mocking me, I knew. Yet, anger scorched my throat. My jaw tensed. "If I were going to ask anyone, you'd be the last person," I hissed through clenched teeth.

He clutched his heart. "Ah, don't do that, Oliver! I'm devastated."

It wasn't he who was devastated; it was my pride. Once again, he had made me feel like garbage—like someone so insignificant that whether or not I was interested in him didn't even matter. My God... How had I ever thought this boy could be a good person?

I crossed my arms over my chest, turned to face forward, and sat down like a sulking child as the classroom gradually filled. As more people joined us, Mars's attention shifted away from me. He greeted the newcomers with a flirtatious smile, winking at some and bestowing his smirk on others. If any of those girls had asked, he would undoubtedly have gone to the carnival with them. Let him go, I thought. Why was I even upset?

I didn't know the answer, but my irritation lasted all day. Being in the class that most inflated Mars's ego didn't make things any easier. Even our angelic teacher, Dora, seemed smitten with Mars. She had him at the piano from the start, asking him to assist in the lesson. Her gaze held the same admiration as that of other Mars aficionados in the room. If this boy could enchant an angel, then it was no wonder mere mortals fell into his trap.

I felt like the only troubled soul unaffected by his damned charm. I barely participated in the songs, shaking the maracas only when the teacher looked my way. When the torture finally ended, I lingered behind, ostensibly busy stuffing the sheet music into my bag.

I managed to be the last to leave the studio without interacting with anyone, especially my so-called soulmate. Unfortunately, Mars was still in the corridor, chatting with a girl. From the way she was blushing, he had probably said something nice, maybe even invited her to the carnival. I passed by them without a glance, but just five steps later, for the second time today, I bumped into someone I knew.

"Blue!" I said, catching her to prevent a fall.

"Olive," she said, grabbing me in return. We laughed at our tangled embrace. "What are you doing here?" she asked cheerfully. Then her eyes widened. "Did Mars call you here?"

Perhaps she didn't know Mars as well as I thought. He would never invite me to his studio of his own accord.

"We had a class," I explained. "It just ended, and I was heading to my room."

"Oh..." Blue said, her infectious smile dimming. Disappointment flashed in her eyes, though I couldn't understand why. Before I could figure it out, Mars was by our side. He must have been pleased with how his conversation went, as he was still in high spirits. That changed only when Blue's eyes narrowed at him.

"Didn't you ask Olive?" Blue inquired.

My gaze snapped to Mars, whose jaw tensed. "What didn't he ask?" I interjected.

Blue opened her mouth to speak, but Mars was quicker. "It's nothing important," he dismissed. Then he grabbed Blue by the arm and started pulling her toward their studio. "Come on, we've got a lot to work on. Bye Oliver!"

My brows furrowed. Mars was dragging her away as if escaping a fire, but I could tell Blue was just as displeased as I was.

"See you, Olive," she said over her shoulder, because she was a kind person. Because she wasn't a jerk like Mars, who, once again, didn't look back as he pulled Blue in and slammed the door in my face, leaving me alone in the corridor.

I shouldn't have cared—my logic was clear on that. Yet, like the rest of the day, I spent the evening fuming. The primary reason was Mars's presence in my life, my curiosity and the unanswered questions were second, and the carnival matter was third.

When I shared Mars's ridiculous comments about the carnival with others, they just stared blankly at me. Over a long dinner and the conversation that followed, I learned that my damned soulmate was right for once. The souls of this Dorm really did take the idea of going to the carnival with someone seriously.

"Why?" I asked, of course. Multiple times, in various ways.

"I don't know," Ursa replied. "It's just the way it is. A couple of weeks before the carnival, everyone gets into the mode. They pick someone out, speculations start, and rumors fly. Then you can guess the rest—debates about who will wear what, how they'll do their hair, what their makeup will look like, and who will be the best-looking couple."

I couldn't imagine it. "But we go to the lake every weekend," I argued. "Isn't it the same thing?"

They looked at me like I was crazy. Of course, it wasn't the same. Going to the lake was like having dinner out instead of at home. The carnival, on the other hand, was the coolest social event in this realm. It was like saving all year for a ticket to see your favorite band and finally getting to go. Who you went with and how you looked mattered enormously because of this.

"You'll probably go with Tarben anyway," Ursa giggled.

I wish she hadn't said that. Now I had a new worry to lose sleep over. I still hadn't fully processed the information that Tarben liked me, let alone figured out what to do with it. What if he really did invite me to the carnival? The last thing I would want is to hurt him, but... but... I didn't even know what to think about it yet.

Thus, the rest of my week became an emotional tug-of-war. The idea that Theodor's proposal was a one-time event had crumbled before I even returned to my room that night. In the following days, other souls continued to ask me out. I kept politely declining them...

Was their interest because I was Mars's soulmate, because I was the new girl as Lark suggested, or because of the popularity I gained from the flowers? I couldn't be sure. It didn't matter. While Dav was far away, waiting for me to wake up from the coma, the idea of saying yes to anyone else, even for a silly carnival, just didn't sit right with me.

That's precisely why I was bending over backward to avoid encountering Tarben. I know it was stupid. Maybe Tarben had no intentions like Ursa had implied. He probably just saw me as a friend and might have already asked someone else to the carnival. Still... The toxic seeds of doubt they had planted in my mind didn't let me act rationally. Every time I saw Tarben, I'd change my path with polite excuses, diplomatically brush off the messages he sent to my mailbox and did everything I could to avoid being alone with him.

When the week finally ended and the last class was over, I quickly ate my meal and headed to the greenhouse. In my sanctuary, I could immerse myself in my flowers and forget about the carnival, the incoming proposals, and the unfairness towards Tarben. For the first two hours, it worked perfectly. The cassette in my Walkman played cheerful songs today, matching my mood. But my seemingly too-calm life came to a halt when a visitor appeared at the door of my workshop.

Hiding was no longer an option.

***

Who is the guest at the door, the answer is on the next chapter :) but feel free to guess.

The carnival is approaching rapidly. Suitors continue to come. Let's see who our girl will end up going to the carnival with, or if she will go at all? Of course, I won't give too many spoilers, but I think I will surprise both you and Olive. Crazy episodes are coming.

See you in the next chapter! EC.