Goin' down to Lonesome Town
Where the broken hearts stay

***

CHAPTER 37:

PAWN

I felt like I was walking back to my room inside a cloud. Everything was blurry. I couldn't remember the details, the souls I encountered, or the paths I took. My brain was too busy processing everything Mars had told me to notice anything else. Despite his offer, I didn't want to return to the Dorm or go to the infirmary with him. I needed to be alone to absorb the information and decide what to do with the secret weapon I had obtained.

To be honest, the thought of running into Pam on the way back was unsettling. The moment I stepped out of the greenhouse, I regretted not going back with Mars. But the princess was nowhere to be seen, likely occupied with shedding fake tears over her soulmate, whom she had nearly killed. Besides, the garden and corridors were full of souls just out of class. Even Pam wouldn't dare to do anything to me in front of so many witnesses. I hoped...

It took me longer than usual to reach my room with my throbbing ribs, aching muscles, and weak limbs. The reason became clear when I made it to the bathroom and got rid of my clothes. I didn't think I had any broken bones, but the places where I had been hit were bruised. I had already learned that this realm was a reflection of real life, where we experienced all kinds of emotions. Apparently, that included injuries too.

I filled the bathtub, sank into the water, and closed my eyes. If I was in this bad shape, how was Pam's soulmate? What happened to a soul that died in limbo? Maybe it was like falling into the Void—an endless loss of a soul that belonged nowhere and to no realm. Wanting to drown the thought, I dunked my head under the water. No matter how hard I tried to clear my mind, fragments of the accident kept surfacing, pricking me like shards of glass.

At the center of those fragments was Mars, no doubt. I guessed he had realized Pam would do something to me the moment she stepped into the course. He knew that devil better than anyone. Preventing the accident was impossible. Still, he had pushed me just in time, stopping me from crashing to the ground with that boy. I owed my continued presence in limbo to him. And there was more. He had come after me to the greenhouse, stayed with me when I was on the verge of breaking down, and handed me the only leverage I could use to prevent something like this from happening again. Even though it would likely affect him and direct Pam's wrath towards him...

Was he helping me just so I could return to the living world and rid himself of me as quickly as possible? Probably. After all, he was still Mars. Selfish, arrogant, insincere... And yet... For the first time, a small voice inside me whispered that there might be another man beneath Mars's facade. Today, he had revealed a side of himself I never could have imagined. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget the kindness he had shown me.

A knock on the door pulled me back to the present. My first thought was Mars. No, he wouldn't have come to check on me. When the knock persisted, another possibility took precedence. Pam's face flashed in my mind, and I instantly tensed. I scrambled out of the tub, water sloshing everywhere, and hastily threw on my bathrobe.

As I entered the room, frantically searching for something to defend myself with, I realized my foolishness. Pam couldn't get in unless I opened the door. A wave of relief washed over me, followed by another realization. Amid the knocking, I recognized a familiar sound. I knew that voice. I rushed to the door and opened it to find Ursa standing there.

"Olive!" she shouted, throwing her arms around me. She didn't care about my wet hair or my bathrobe. She... was crying. My eyes met Diego's, who stood a step behind, watching us. His face was as white as a sheet.

"We thought something happened to you, Olive," he said. "We were so scared."

Judging by their aprons, they had come straight from class. News of the accident had spread faster than I had expected.

"Don't worry," I said, hugging Ursa tightly and thanking Diego with my eyes and a broken smile.

Ursa stepped into the room, pulling me along, while Diego closed the door behind us. Her hands gripped my arms tightly. "What happened? What did that girl do to you? They said someone fell and was taken to the infirmary. We thought it was you, Olive! When we went to the infirmary..." She was crying again.

"Hey..." I said, hugging her back and ignoring the pain in my ribs. Being held like this was better than any ointment. It reminded me of my family and their unconditional love.

"So, what happened?" Diego finally asked when Ursa stopped crying and stepped back.

I quickly explained the accident, leaving both of them confused. It was Ursa who voiced their shared question.

"So... Mars saved you?" she asked.

I nodded, still grappling with the reality of it all. Then, there was another knock at the door. This time, it was Helene and Lark, who also came straight from class. They greeted me with less fuss than Ursa but with just as much sincerity. I recounted the events to them too, and once again, we found ourselves marveling at Mars's unexpected help.

"So, what happens now?" Helene asked.

Before diving into that topic, I excused myself, grabbed some clothes from the closet, and went to the bathroom to change. Sitting around in a bathrobe was uncomfortable, but I also needed time to think. I could share Mars's secret with them and ask for help with my plan. But... something felt wrong about involving them now that I had firsthand experience of what Pam was capable of. The less they knew, the better.

And then...

My gaze fell on the pink cigarette case among the clothes I had tossed aside. It was half sticking out of my shorts pocket, reminding me of Mars's kindness. He had given it to me and advised me to use it wisely. No, I couldn't involve him either. Despite all our previous conflicts, today he had handed me an impossible key, and whatever I was going to do with it, I had to do it alone.

I took the case and hid it in the cabinet filled with soaps and creams. When I returned to the room, my friends were waiting for me, scattered across the bed, floor, and desk. Whatever they had been discussing stopped the moment I appeared. They were probably afraid of frightening or upsetting me further. Unfortunately, that was impossible.

"I think it's time to go to the Principal," Ursa said.

I looked at her in surprise. She hated involving the Principal in anything.

"We'll go with you," Diego supported.

"We can tell her about everything that girl has done to the other souls," Lark added. "She should be punished."

Helene nodded sagely. "A liar's candle burns only until dusk."

I was grateful for their efforts and support. Still, I said, "No. I'm not going to the Principal."

Their eyes widened. When I said I would handle this myself, objections erupted immediately. Questions followed. They were confused. I shared that I had a plan and asked them to trust me. Ursa was convinced I was about to do something foolish and begged me not to. Diego backed her up. Helene tried to dissuade me with wise proverbs. Lark suggested consulting the cards.

Luckily, their relentless insistence was interrupted when my door knocked again. This time, I was sure it was Pam. Everyone stood up simultaneously, apparently thinking the same thing.

"Don't open it!" Ursa said.

"No, open it!" Lark said, standing beside me like a bodyguard. "Let's all open it together! Let her say what she wants to all of us."

For some reason, that seemed like a terrible idea. I wasn't ready to face Pam yet. I still had a plan to shape before confronting her. But the door knocked once more. "Come on!" Lark urged. I feared I had little choice. Reluctantly, I agreed to her suggestion. We all went to the door together. I was in front, my friends behind me, and together we opened the door. The breath I had been holding escaped my lips in a sob when I saw who it was. It wasn't Pam; it was Blue and Tarben.

"Oh, Olive," Blue said, letting out a deep breath. "I'm so, so, so sorry for what happened." Like Ursa, she chose to hug me. Once again, I ignored the pain in my ribs.

"Are you okay?" Tarben asked as Blue stepped back. His face was pale, as if he were looking at my ghost instead of me. Whatever he had heard, it was clear he hadn't expected to see me in one piece.

"I'm fine," I reassured him. "It's nothing serious. Just a couple of bruises."

I even managed a smile to support my lie, but the terror on Tarben's face didn't fade. Ursa invited them in and closed the door, and I recounted the events for the third time. Either Blue hadn't heard the news from Mars, or Mars hadn't given her any details. With each word, her eyes widened in surprise.

Tarben, however, was quieter than ever. Leaning against the door with his arms crossed, he listened to my story intently. His gaze was dark, as if he were imagining killing my enemy over and over in his mind. When I said I didn't want anyone to intervene and that I would handle this myself, his expression grew even more strained. He didn't object, but when my friends unanimously decided to leave me alone to rest, he deliberately stayed behind.

"Olive," he said, waiting until the others had moved away. "Don't worry. That girl won't come near you again. I promise I'll handle it."

"No," I said without thinking. "I don't want that promise from you, Tarben. This is my problem, and I will solve it myself."

"Ol..."

I didn't let him continue. "I know you care, and I'm very grateful. But my decision is firm. Neither you nor anyone else will get involved with Pam. This matter is between her and me, and I will handle it in my own way. Please."

There was pain on Tarben's face. It seemed it hurt him not to be able to convince me. He started to object but then changed his mind. "At least tell me what you're going to do," he said. "Let me be there for you. Whatever your plan is, let me help."

I didn't tell him. If he hadn't been so understanding, considerate, and respectful, he might have continued to insist. But he was Tarben. Rather than distress me further, he accepted defeat and left the room.

Once I was finally alone, I stood still for a moment, unsure of what to do. Now that there was no one around, my confident demeanor vanished. Yes, I couldn't involve my friends in facing Pam, but that didn't mean I knew how to solve the problem on my own.

Dragging my feet, I returned to the bathroom, retrieved the case Mars had given me from its hiding place, and took out a cigarette. I don't know how long I stood there, staring at the pink cylinder in my hand and thinking. It was as if the instructions for what I needed to do were etched on the cigarette, and I was trying to decipher them. But there was no clear path, no guaranteed method, no certain outcome.

You need to start thinking like her, Mars had said. He had handed me the only secret that could save me from being prey among wolves. But... I wasn't Pam. I didn't want to think like her or be as wicked as she was. I had never needed to harm anyone to win in my life. I closed my eyes and battled the imaginary Mars in my head. There had to be another way. A solution I could reach with the information I had.

For a moment, I thought of Angel Ria. If you had chosen to share Pam's wrongdoing with your teacher, the teacher could have enforced the school rules, she had told me. If I went to her with the secret Mars had given me and this cigarette, she would undoubtedly rid me of Pam's curse. But, but, but... Mars had warned me about something else. If this came to light, Pam wouldn't be the only one to suffer. Anyone who had helped her or was connected to her would be thrown in front of the Principal. How could I do that? Perhaps supporting Pam wasn't even their choice. They might have been scared, threatened, or forced.

My helplessness escaped in a deep sigh. If Davon were here, he'd scold me for giving up so quickly and remind me that I could overcome any challenge with hard work. But Davon wasn't here. Davon knew nothing. Neither of us did. We had never faced anything beyond exams and competitions. Here, there were souls who had failed the true test of life. Brothers who had buried their siblings, sisters who had succumbed to cancer, young people whose lives had been taken or who had taken their own.

Now, everyone around me was dead, perhaps, but I was beginning to understand what it truly meant to live more deeply than ever before. Purgatory was a struggle to hold on to life. And if I wanted to cling to that life, I couldn't remain a pawn.

***

Yes, yes, I know. This was a transition chapter and you couldn't learn much. It's okay to be mad at the author. But we couldn't rush into the adventure without reading about Olive's feelings. Our little lamb is going through major character developments. These are very important times (i.e. chapters). 🐑

I won't keep you waiting too long, don't worry. In the next chapter, we will come face to face with Pam. Until then, you can still make guesses :D

Before closing the chapter, here comes this episode's question. What would you do if you were Olive:

A) I would definitely tell my friends. Whatever happens, let it happen to all of us, right?

B) Even if I know I would died, I wouldn't involve them in this. I can't bear to see anyone suffer because of me.

C) I would go straight to the authorities. Let whoever is responsible suffer!

D)  I have a better idea 💡

Write down your answers and make this author smile a little :)) 

Kisses and hearts until next time, EC.