I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it...

***

CHAPTER 27:

LIVING ESSENTIALS

Tarben didn't talk much on the way back to the Dorm on Lys's back. I matched his silence, lost in my own thoughts for the rest of the journey. Despite Ursa's persistent invitations, I spent the remainder of the day in my room, reflecting, listening to music on my Walkman, and reading. The Dorm, as it sometimes did, decided to add a new chapter to my book. In this one, the princess met a stranger on her quest to save her kingdom. The stranger was trustworthy, kind, and wise—a character I liked. I was happy for the princess; glad she wouldn't be alone.

The only cassette I had for my Walkman was filled with upbeat songs that matched the energy of the new chapter. But my joy lasted only until the end of the episode. The duo got arrested in the forbidden lands and brought before an arrogant prince. Then, as usual, I was met with blank pages. I'd learned by now that there was no point in arguing with the Dorm, so I pouted and set the book aside. I'd have to wait a bit longer to see the princess put the smug prince in his place.

When Ursa and Diego showed up at my door again in the evening, urging me to come out, I didn't resist. I got ready while they eagerly listened to my story about the deal I made with Mars. In the end, my wardrobe had its way again: a purple denim skirt, matching jacket, and a daisy-embellished bustier. I still hadn't figured out why the Dorm insisted on adding flowers to all my outfits. Maybe it was trying to send me a message, but what?

I didn't care for today. The joy of finally getting Mars to agree overshadowed any other worries. After Ursa finished fussing over my makeup, we joined the crowd heading to the lake. Helene and Lark caught up with us halfway, and Ursa quickly shared the news with them. The consensus was clear: persistence pays off, and my friends were proud of me.

I was happy. I didn't even mind the occasional disdainful looks thrown my way. Their numbers had dwindled significantly. It seemed the souls had finally moved past the chaos I had caused at the lake. Tarben standing by my side played a big part in that, no doubt. After hearing his story, I understood better why he helped me. He saw the hope he'd lost in me and wanted me to keep it alive. He was definitely one of the best souls I'd encountered in life and in death.

Though I kept looking for Tarben, I didn't see him anywhere throughout the night. His soulmate, however, was on stage with Mars at the end of the evening. Learning that Blue was sick had inadvertently changed the way I saw her. Her infectious smile, endless energy, and unyielding cheerfulness made it hard to believe she was battling a deadly illness. I didn't know what she had gone through, but maybe she was so happy here because she had left all that behind. Tonight, too, she shone on stage like a star.

Unfortunately, her annoying partner was equally captivating. Tonight, Mars had chosen to wear a simple T-shirt. Considering he barely finished the song, it was understandable that he didn't have time to prepare. Even so, it was enough to make a Dorm full of fans swoon. As we reached the last song, accompanied by screams, fainting, and overwhelmed reactions, I recognized the melody. At that moment, Mars announced that they would be playing their new song for the first time. The news caused an even bigger uproar.

Listening to a song I witnessed being created was strange. Knowing the effort, the nights and days spent on it, I couldn't hear the notes like just any melody. Mars must have spent the whole day working with Blue after I left, because the song was even better than when I last heard it. When they reached the chorus, Mars's eyes turned in our direction. It had to be a coincidence; it was impossible for him to pick me out among so many souls. But let's say he did—why would he look at me?

Yet, he didn't turn his head away until the chorus ended. Just before his eyes dropped to his guitar, a small smile curled up one corner of his mouth, his dimple appearing. He was pleased with the result, the song had turned out as he wanted, and the joy of performing it radiated like an electric wave. I must have been smiling because I got caught up in that wave. And maybe... because I knew I had a part in the song...

After Blue and Mars left the stage, we hung around for a while longer. My eyes caught Pam ditching Jazz-tin and Lottie to follow Mars, so I stayed back, making excuses until they were gone. I had no intention of becoming the pink princess's target. Thankfully, the rest of the night was calm, uneventful, and surprisingly fun.

When we returned to the Dorm, instead of going our separate ways, we followed Diego's suggestion and joined the souls waiting in the cinema room for a horror movie to start. Popcorn, ice cream, chocolate, chips... The Dorm spared no expense in services. Things got even more interesting after the movie, when we continued to the game room instead of sleeping. Correction, my friends continued, and I joined them without anyone having to force me.

It was an arcade filled with token-operated machines and bathed in pink-purple neon lights. Every soul had a daily token allowance, and as long as they lasted, they could stay inside no matter the hour. I had never been to an arcade before. Naturally, I didn't have permission or time for such things. So, while the others spent their tokens on various games, I moved from cabin to cabin, watching my friends with curiosity, questions, and a lot of interest.

Then, with Diego's help, I spent my first token trying to catch plush mushrooms from a glass box filled with them. After wasting five tokens, victory was ours, and the toy mushroom was mine. With the remaining five tokens, the others joined us, showing me different games. How bizarre it was that a few pixels coming together could be so much fun! I was astonished.

I was certain Dav would see such a futile activity as a waste of time. My family would undoubtedly agree with him. To be honest, I too felt quite uneasy at first. The joyful feelings I was experiencing contradicted everything I had been taught. You're wasting your precious time on these frivolities, my rational mind said.

But... the truth was, I couldn't remember laughing this much since I arrived at the Dorm. In fact, I might not have ever had this much fun, even while alive. For the first time, I met souls outside my small group and spent a night with teenagers, doing as I pleased. Without planning, strategizing, fearing, or pursuing a goal—just going with the flow didn't feel bad at all.

When I returned to my room with strawberry milk in one hand and cotton candy in the other, the uncontrollable grin on my face was probably because of this. In my dreams, I had skipped around amidst pink mushrooms, flown through clouds on Tarben's horse, and eventually found myself singing at Mars and Blue's concert. The laughter that danced on my lips as I laid my head on the pillow was still in my heart when I woke up.

Joy accompanied me everywhere I went throughout the day. What a freedom it was to simply do what I wanted without having to chase Mars. Breakfast with my friends, a picnic in the garden, a thrilling chess match we watched, cookies and books in the open-air library... Everything was wonderful! Wonderful! Until we sat down for dinner and Helene planted that horrifying thought in my mind...

"Hopefully, Mars will really come tomorrow."

That was all she said. Ursa immediately objected, Diego dismissed it with a joke, and Lark said the cards were in my favor. Still... One simple sentence was enough to trigger a chain reaction in my mind that could fill encyclopedias. One cursed question followed another, then another, and another. What if he doesn't come, what if he said he would just to brush me off, what if it was a game, what if he came just to mock me?

Thus, a day that started with perfect confidence ended with me lying in bed, staring at the ceiling in fear. Trouble, annoyed by my constant tossing and turning, had abandoned me to sleep in the bathtub. I didn't know when I finally fell asleep, but it must have been just before dawn. For the first time, I didn't wake up on my own but to the sound of an alarm clock. It took me a few minutes to remember where I was and what time it was. I didn't even know I had an alarm clock. It wasn't visible, and the moment I sprang awake, the sound stopped. It must have been one of the Dorm's services on class days.

I couldn't dwell on it for long, because a new letter arrived in my mailbox with lights flashing. I knew what it was, it must have been my daily lesson schedule. Stumbling out of bed, I rushed to the other side of the room. My fingers trembled as I opened the envelope. Please don't let it be something ridiculous, I thought to myself. Given that it was the Dorm, I was afraid this was unlikely. But... when I held the paper, the words hit me like divine light.

Living Essentials.

Today's lesson was Living Essentials. A laugh escaped my lips. Finally, I would be able to attend that famous class that all souls were required to take. And... I wasn't alone. At least... I hoped I wouldn't be alone. Thinking of Mars made the panic, which had been dormant for a few hours, rise in my throat again. Running to the bathroom and throwing myself into the shower, then rushing to the wardrobe and putting on the only outfit offered to me, and my unsuccessful attempt to braid my hair... I felt like I was in a triathlon. I was battling against time, myself, and my annoying inner voice.

My wardrobe today had selected a purple jumpsuit, rain boots, and a straw hat. I didn't resist. I had seen other souls working in the gardens and fields wearing the same clothes before. So, dressed in my gardener costume, with Trouble trailing behind, I was the first at breakfast. I tried to focus on the food so it wouldn't be obvious that my eyes were desperately searching for Mars. It was impossible. When Diego sat next to me, when Ursa joined us with two huge plates, when Helene and Lark came to the table discussing their daily horoscopes, my gaze was always darting around, searching. I hadn't even touched the beautiful meal in front of me.

I would have been relieved to see Mars in his jumpsuit. But he was nowhere to be found. This guy.... It was as if he had fallen into limbo just to give my dead heart a heart attack. I barely made it through breakfast, taking out my frustration on Trouble, who never listened to me anyway. We weren't allowed to bring our animals to class, but the smaller ones were allowed to roam freely during class hours. Before I could even give my daily instructions, my cat had already run off, chasing after Lola and Meer.

By the time I said goodbye to the others and stepped into the garden, I was in a full-blown panic. He's not coming, he's not coming, he's not coming! Even though I joined the other souls heading towards the field in their jumpsuits, I kept turning my head back frequently. I had been so sure that everything would be different this morning... How had I ended up being the same lonely soul going to class alone again?

Life chose to answer my question with a harsh slap. When I reached the field marked on the map that came with the lesson schedule, my soulmate was not there. Instead, the last person I wanted to see was shimmering among the trees. Pam... Her gaze locked onto me as if she had sensed my presence. The wind blew her pink hair, revealing her face and that smug smile. When she slowly turned towards me, I had to dig my boots into the ground to keep from stepping back.

Disaster was coming. As if it wasn't enough that I was once again the lone soul, I was about to be humiliated in front of this girl. Given how much I had irritated her, there was no doubt she would use this situation to crush me. And the other souls, eager to please their princess, would side with her... Yet, thanks to my stubborn soul, when Pam came up to me with that arrogant grin, instead of stepping back, I raised my chin defiantly towards her. I had a response ready for anything she might say.

But... someone else spoke in my place.

"So, here you are. I've been looking for you."

***

Aaaaaand the class starts. Our poor girl Olive is alone... again...

But wait...

Who is the one talking at the last minute? Any guesses?

Well, if not, the answer is waiting for you on the next chapter :) 

See you there, kisses, EC.