Kongpob pecked Arthit's forehead, with shaking hands he reached out to the tissue box kept beside the bed-side table and cleaned Arthit before cleaning himself up.

Discarding the tissues in trash bin with a well-practiced throw, Kong sat up on the bed. He was exhausted, sweaty and totally spent - physically but his heart was swelling up with multitudes of emotions. Since his accident, he found it hard to control his emotions as if it had left a permanent crack in his walls from where feelings kept trickling down, overwhelming him.

Arthit observed Kong, eyes looking faraway, fingers mindlessly playing with fabric of sheet covering them, Kong was lost somewhere in his own world. Usually, Kong is vocal in and after their bed-time activities and Arthit is quieter one, especially after their in-bed activities. 
 
" What are you thinking ? " Arthit asked.

" How I wronged you .. " came the instant answer. Arthit threw Kong an amused but irritated look, he understands what is going on in Kongpob's mind . Kongpob is again overthinking over small matters.

" And how did you wrong me ? " he asked amused.

" I should not string you along. I should have broke up the minute I decided to drop out. You don't have to suffer with me. I'm selfish to keep dragging you in my mess of a life." Kongpob explained in a monotone.

Arthit sat up in shock. Whoa! Where did this come from? He thought Kongpob is overthinking about not discussing his decision of dropping out of college beforehand with Arthit. He had got over that  already, as long as Kongpob didn't hide anything again he was fine, they will be fine. But problem came out different altogether.

Kongpob wasn't done yet " I keep failing you Arthit. I should have told you all about my past, my parents, things I was doing. But I didn't. I kept you in dark. I knew that bring with you put you in danger, I was over-confident to protect you. ...." Kongpob's rambling was cut off by Arthit

" It's past.... Let it rest in past.... Don't beat yourself over it."

" No Arthit,I did that again. I keep proving I am not good at these things....at Relationship. I don't know, how to go on. Do you not see ? You deserve someone better Arthit ... "

" Wow! Let me guess.  Now you want to breakup? " Arthit spat, rage bubbling underneath his calm exterior.

" No, I...." Kongpob tried to explain.

" You.. what ? Were you not going to say 'lets break up or something along the same line? Is it a joke to you Kongpob ? Am I a joke to you? Not even two minutes has passed that you were rolling under the sheets with me.... Professing your undying eternal love! Was that just a bullshit ?" Arthit has balled his hands in fist, blood rushed to his skin, his pale milky complexion morphing in to angry red. " Do you get a kick out of making me plead you to stay ? " he asked in a shaky voice, barely restraining himself from breaking down.

Kongpob placed his hand on Arthit's shoulder, fingers of other hand settled under Arthit's chin , turned his face towards him, forcing him to lookin to his eyes
" Arthit ... Plz listen.." Kong pleaded but Arthit was having none of it, he turned his whole body away from Kongpob and sat with his back to the said male.

" No, I will not listen to you. You kee swinging between extremes. I am sick of you second guessing us. You want to break up right ? Have it your way. I break up with you. Get the fuck out of my room. "

" Arthit ..."

" Out.... Now"

" Arthit , it's 2:20 A.M ! "

" Not my problem. " Arthit turned his head sideways so as to not fall weak by seeing Kongpob's puppy eyes, he had enough of Kongpob swinging between extremes of yes and no. He had to choose one end. And Arthit will see to it that he does. He will not let him walk away with a single ounce of confusion about their relationship.

" Arthit, I don't have anything on. " Kong reasoned hesitantly.

" Do I look like I care ? You wronged me, you said yourself. This is your punishment." Arthit replied stubbornly, jutting his chin out like a petulant child.

Kong heaved a defeated sigh, Arthit was a one minded person. If he wants Kong out of his room, there's no way any amount of pleading will change his mind. He better wait for Arthit to calm down before putting his case before him
" Atleast , give me my clothes.."

" No.... "

Kongpob stealthily walked towards Arthit's cupboard, to lend something that will help him save his dignity.

" Don't you dare touch my clothes. " Arthit snarled.

" Arthit, how can I go out like this ? " Kongpob pointed at his rather obvious state of nudity.

" Not my problem.." Arthit replied without even taking a second to think or look at him.

Kongpob helplessly kept looking alternatively at door and Arthit. How can he walk out like this ? Arthit seems to be royally pissed at him and he didn't know how to calm him down.

All these month of Kongpob's hospital stay and afterwards, Arthit had suffered along with him , both physically and mentally. His reservoir of infinite patience was rather on low these days. It was first time Arthit was throwing a tantrum and Kong didn't want to have another fight so he decided to let Arthit have last words for the day.

But how is he supposed to go out in birthday suit?

Kongpob understands he is at fault too, he didn't mean to convey that he wanted to break up or he was confused. He was just trying to say that in comparision to Arthit, he found himself lacking in do many aspects. He genuinely thinks Arthit deserves better, he thinks he is lucky to have Arthit.

He can't even express how highly he thinks of Arthit, only person he can call his family.
He didn't know how to appease Arthit who was sitting on the bed like a wounded lion, growling the moment Kongpob dared to take two steps close to him.

Kongpob stood there, contemplating the move that would not end up with him being thrown out of the window by a rather ruffled up Arthit. The moment Kong took two steps close, " out" Arthit growled out instantly.

Kongpob dropped down to his knees infront of the bed " I am Sorry. I didn't mean it that way. "

Arthit threw him a cursory glance,he was about to let Kongpob off the hook but Kongpob royally blew that chance up with his next words  " I really think you can do better Arthit. "

Arthit full on glared at Kongpob, he looked ready to murder someone " Let's do that." He spat with arms crossed over his chest
" Find me the better person I deserve. Go, out and don't come back until you find him."

" Huh? "

" I said, out. Go find me the person I deserve and don't you dare come back here before that." Arthit barked through clenched teeth.

He wasn't really angry at Kongpob at first. He was just using reverse psychology to let Kong realise that every relationship has ups and down. Mistakes can not be avoid, not repeating them is crucial. But Kongpob kept blowing that up with his own actions and his 'you deserve better' bullshit.

" I am sorry. "  Arthit heard Kongpob's apology but he paid him no heed. His boyfriend has successfully made him beyond pissed.

Were they going to second guess their relationship for eternity? How were they going to survive long distance like this? Didn't Kongpob say they will be okay ? They will make it work. Then, what was he trying to pull now?

Kongpob had crawled closer to the bed, he moved his hand toward Arthit, expecting every bit for it to be swatted by Arthit. But, later didn't react. Kongpob gently placed his hand atop Arthit's thighs
" Arthit , I am sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't want break up,ever. "

Arthit turned his head towards Kongpob, his eyes has welled up with unshed tears.

" I am sorry. I will never utter break-up word again. " Kong promised with all sincerity " I was just overwhelmed, I didn't mean it like that. I told you, you are my family. Only person, I could call my family. " Only person who sheds tears for me.

A single tear escaped the confines of Arthit's eyes, sliding down his cheeks. He closed his eyes while clenching his teeth to get semblance of control over his emotions. He didn't want to fall weak.

" I don't know how to make you understand Arthit.. I really didn't mean anything by it. I definitely  didn't mean break up. " 

Arthit's lips quivered , unable to hold the sniffle in anymore. Kongpob's hand crawled up on his thigh, towards his clasped hand, Arthit didn't resist when Kongpob clasped their fingers together, perfectly filling in the empty spaces between their fingers.

Kongpob didn't know what to do or say. He didn't find any words on his own to describe his feelings so he decided to borrow someone else's . Hopefully, it will carry his apology and his intention to Arthit ..

Kongpob sat beside Arthit, legs dangling off the bed, hands over Arthit's clasped hands, he squeezed the paler hands a bit before pouring all his emotions in to his words.

" Forgive me if I stumble and fall
for I not Know how
to love too well. "

Arthit turned his neck, he looked at Kongpob with blank eyes.

" I am clumsy
And my words
Do not form as I wish "

" So let me kiss you instead " Kong leaned in closer to Arthit's face, Arthit didn't flinch or pull back but he didn't lean in either. Arthit stayed where he was, Kong took it as positive sign, he leaned in closer, taking in Arthit's eyes which turned glassy from unshed tears. 

" And let my lips
Paint for you
All the pictures
That my clumsy heart cannot. "

" I am sorry " Kongpob mumbled against his lips before capturing them swiftly. He kissed with urgency, coaxing Arthit to respond. He could taste the tears that fell freely from Arthit's eyes, soaking his cheeks.

" I am Sorry. " Kong pulled Arthit in his embrace " I will never utter the word break-up again. You deserve better, I will become better for you. I will become the person you deserve. "

Arthit hugged him close, his hands sneaked in Kongpob's hair, his fingers laced themselves in Kongpob's hairs, his fingernails almost scratch Kongpob's back. For once Arthit had no words to say to Kongpob. They stayed like that, hugging each other, joined skin to skin , heart beating fast , mind on chaos. Each of them afraid of the challenges yet to come their way, at the same time they were confident to overcome it all as long as they had each other.

" Will you promise me something? " Arthit asked after several minutes of hugging Kongpob quietly.

" Anything. ,"

" If you ever fall in love with other person. Will you tell me before going in to relationship ? "

" I can never fall in love with someone else. You are it for me, my first and last. "

" No one knows the future Kongpob. We are polar opposites. Only thing we have common is our love for each other and the night sky. " Arthit took a pause, unable to morph his thoughts in to words, even the thought of Kongpob with someone else was painful like a knife lodged in his heart.

" Can you just promise me to tell first-hand , before committing to someone else ? "

Kongpob clenched his jaw. He may not know how relationship works. He may not be good at words but he can never cheat on Arthit. Does Arthit really thinks this of him ?

" If that's what you want. I promise. " Kongpob forced the words out.

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A/N : Thank you for being infinitely patient with me🙏.

I hope this book is still interesting and you are not getting bored.