I slightly peeked from my knees, and noticed Lapis lower herself down to my level on the floor. She slowly sat down, and pulled her knees to her chest. I quickly retracted my gaze, and shut my eyes tightly once again in frustration. "Peridot...I really am truly sorry. I know I don't deserve any more chances for the way I've acted...but I don't want you to just remember me this way." she quietly explained with a soft sigh. "Why did you do that...why couldn't you have waited..." I whispered through gritted teeth, still refusing to look at her.

"I-I-" "I can't get this job back ever again...that job...th-that that was my entire purpose! I needed that job. I put s-so so...m-much effort into getting that job, Lapis. I..." I cut her off, and my fists began to clench tightly. My frustration was only growing at this point, and my blood felt as though it had risen to a boil. Lapis remained silent, most likely trying to find any response to this - I didn't even need to hear it. All she did was make excuses for some stupid and impulsive decision she made. It made me feel so upset.

"Just...I-I don't need to hear any more, Lapis." I grunted. "G-get...hghh, GET OUT!" I screamed, unable to control the volume of my shaky voice anymore. It felt like my voice echoed the entire apartment, and my breathing picked up. "Just get out!" I cried again, keeping my eyes closed. It was dead silent in that room, and I just wanted to disappear right then and there. God, I felt horrible. Everything just felt like it went to shit, and absolutely nothing could be fixed. I harshly flinched as I suddenly felt a soft touch on my shoulder. I wanted so badly to throw her hand off, and scream even louder...but I just couldn't.

Her gentle hand continued to rest on my shoulder, and I just left it there. I took deep breaths, and this contact just caused more tears to spill from my eyes. "Please stop..." I whispered nearly inaudibly, feeling defeated. "It was a stupid decision I made. I was impatient...and immature. I never meant to hurt you this way. Ever." she claimed in a quieter voice than before. "BUT YOU HAVE! YOU HAVE HURT ME BEFORE, LAPIS!" I snapped, raising my head once again and opening my eyes back up. Lapis was visibly startled, and scrunched up her eyebrows.

"All you do is hurt me." I then whispered, switching my gaze down to the floor. I stared in silence, attempting to steady my breath so it no longer hitched so pathetically. This is a waste of time. It's time for Lapis to leave. It's time for me to leave. I huffed before quickly climbing back up to my feet, and roughly wiping my tear-stained cheeks with the back of my hand. I sniffled loudly, furrowing my eyebrows. I feel like a mess. I looked over at the cracked front door, and I stormed towards it. I was approaching it to open it fully, and tell Lapis to leave and never speak to me again. However, on my way to the door, I almost fell onto my face.

I suddenly felt two strong arms wrap tightly around my left leg, and I inhaled sharply in surprise. I peered down and took in a shocking sight I never thought I'd ever see.

Lapis was hunched over with her arms locked around my leg, desperately clinging to me. She pressed her face against my leg, shutting her eyes tightly, and I could see streams of tears spilling down her cheeks. Her face was a flushed red at this point, and she gritted her teeth harshly. "PERIDOT PLEASE!! PLEASE, I'M SORRY! I DON'T D-DON'T KNOW WH-WHAT ELSE TO S-SAY ANYMORE, OKAY?!" she cried in a trembling voice, and my eyebrows shot up. "Please, just please forgive me, I can't...I can't..." she trailed off, sniffling.

If I had stared at her any longer, I would have began to choke up again, so I quickly looked away. I tugged my leg, but she still held on, not planning on letting go any time soon. "You can't what." I asked in a deadpan tone of voice. "I can't lose you again." she said in a shaky voice, and I could feel her wet tears against my skin. I couldn't escape this grip at all...she was so strong. It was like she was holding on for dear life. "Why am I even so critical to you anymore, Lapis?!" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. That lump in my throat was coming back, and I clenched my jaw. "I'm nothing without that job! I don't have anything to hold pride for! My personality was...that fucking JOB!" I shouted.

"AND THAT'S NOT TRUE!" she cried in protest. "I knew your personality before you had that job, Peridot! You cannot tell me...of all people...that." she argued. "I'm not that Peridot anymore, Lapis. I never will be." I stated, my eyes welling up with tears once again. "You still are! I can see it! The times we hung out, I still saw that old Peridot in you! Because you weren't working! You weren't worrying about work 24/7! When you were drunk, you weren't worried about work then! I saw the old Peridot there! You're still the SAME PERIDOT!" she explained in between hitched breaths.

"SHUT UP, LAPIS!" "I STILL LOVE YOU!" my head immediately snapped back down in Lapis's direction, and she was staring up at me. Her ocean blue eyes were shiny and flooded with distraught tears. She gave me a fatal heartbroken expression on her face, and tears inevitably spilled from my eyes once again. "I STILL LOVE YOU, PERIDOT! I-I...missed you s-so much...I MISS YOU! I've never STOPPED missing you! Not for a single SECOND, do you understand me?!" she sobbed, hugging my leg even tighter. I nearly fell backwards onto my ass from how tightly she held on. My clenched fists released, and my hands now fell loosely by my sides in defeat.

I stared up at the ceiling, and sobbed. I shut my eyes tightly, just letting the tears fall now. I didn't care anymore. "I still love you so much...you were the best thing that's ever happened to me, Peridot. The chance of us running into each other after all of these years so suddenly was so slim...but it fucking happened, Peridot...it happened." I sniffled, still refusing to look back down at her. My breath was too shaky to say anything in reply, and my head was pounding. My heart was thumping at a violent pace, and I couldn't stop it.

"...does that not mean anything to you?"