Can I lay by your side
Next to you
And make sure you're alright
I'll take care of you
And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight

-

"You said you didn't want wigs so..." Carmen said as she raised a large shopping bag on to the hospital bed. "I came bearing scarves."

"Pretty ones?" Eleanor asked with a knowing smirk as she stared at her daughter.

"Oh my god, obviously." Carmen scoffed and began digging inside the shopping bag to decide which one to show her first.

"What's wrong with the one she's wearing?" Teddy made a face as he looked atop his mother's head. He didn't see anything wrong with the dark blue one that was wrapped around her head and tied above her forehead.

"It's boring. This is called fashion, Teddy." Carmen retorted, making a face back at her little brother.

"Like you would know what fashion is. It's frickin' freezing outside and you're wearing a skirt." Teddy said with a mocking scoff.

"Fashion isn't about function, you little demon. It's about style." Carmen barked back at him.

"Okay, you two.." Eleanor lightly and playfully warned as she caressed Teddy's head and held it to her chest and motioned for Carmen to give her a scarf. "Just show me what you bought. I rarely get to see you nowadays. I'm excited."

Carmen shot one more glare at her little brother and quickly began showing off all the scarves she bought for her mother. While his mother and his sister fawned over floral patterns and soft fabrics, Teddy returned his attention to the homework sat in his lap.

Teddy almost always did his homework while sat in his mother's hospital bed. At least, for the last three months he had been. It wasn't very comfortable to have textbooks and homework sheets and notebooks all piled on top of him and his mother's lap but they didn't usually need the textbooks. Eleanor was a very smart woman, who had actually finished college, unlike her husband. She actually enjoyed helping Teddy with his homework and watching him learn and grow. It was something she knew she would miss once she was gone.

"Why is this number so big?" Teddy frowned down at his homework when he finished a math problem. "Everything else is under one hundred."

Eleanor continue to wrap and tie the new scarf around her head as she looked down at the homework in Teddy's lap. It only took her a few seconds to point a finger at his work and say, "you forgot to divide right here, baby. And your decimal point is in the wrong place right here."

"Oh! Okay, I got it, I got it." Teddy said and turned his pencil over to erase it while Eleanor went back to tying her scarf.

"Look! We can match!" Carmen happily exclaimed as she grabbed a matching scarf to her mother's and started wrapping it around her head and tying it around the bun atop her head.

"Oh, cute!" Eleanor exclaimed, matching her daughters excitement. "You look so darling, Carmen. Absolutely beautiful."

After a few more minutes of pulling out scarves and fawning over them with her daughter, Eleanor's eyes shifted to the door to her hospital room as her husband walked in. He had two takeout bags in hand and a smile on his face when he spotted his wife. Eleanor smiled right back at him but felt a weight in her chest at the sight of the bags under his eyes and his unshaven face. He was beginning to look more tired and more stressed every day.

"Hey, babe. Did you leave work early?" Eleanor asked as she greeted her husband with a hug and kiss on his cheek.

"No. I made it eight hours like I'm suppose to. I just went in early this morning." Roman said and pulled the overbed table towards his wife so he could place the takeout bags on it. "I think I'm going to go in earlier from now on to make sure we can all eat together when the kids are done with school."

"Dad!" Teddy complained when the overbed table blocked his view of his homework. "Mom's helping me with my homework!"

"You can put that away for now, baby. I'll help you finish it after we eat." Eleanor reassured her son.

Teddy collected all his books and tossed them on to the chair where his and Carmen's backpacks were while Roman started pulling food from the bags. Even Carmen put all her scarves away so she could join her family for lunch. Roman casted a curious look toward his daughter when he noticed what she was wearing, though. She didn't used to dress like this and it worried him. Only because of the concerning amount of money she brought in every Sunday morning.

"You know it's fifteen degrees, Carmen?" Roman coldly asked his daughter, who met his gaze with a blank expression. "It's freezing cold and you're coming to visit your sick mother in an outfit like that?"

Carmen threw her arms up and rolled her eyes, obviously annoyed by her fathers judgement. He did this every time she came to the hospital and they always ended up arguing because of it. If he would finally just let it go then they wouldn't have to be at each other's throat every time they were in the same room. Even Teddy knew his fathers question could spark an argument, which made him tense as his eyes bounced between his sister and his father. He hated when they argued.

"I'm clothed, aren't I?" Carmen retorted as she gestured at her outfit.

"I just think it's a bit unnecessary for a hospital, in the middle of winter. Makes me wonder if you're wearing it because you like it or because someone else likes it.. This isn't your usual style." Roman said, coyly trying to hint at something.

"If someone likes it, I get a pay bonus. That's what Giuseppe says." Carmen shrugged and grabbed her takeout meal before she collapsed into a chair. "Suffering in this cold weather is a small price to pay to make sure we're not drowning in debt and mom doesn't die."

"Carmen, we've been over this." Eleanor calmly interjected, her tone a lot less antagonizing than her husbands. "You shouldn't have to put yourself through that for me. Your father is still working forty-plus hours a week. He can take care of this family just fine."

"His forty-plus hours a week just bought us takeout and made sure there's still a cold, empty house we can go back to at the end of the day." Carmen rolled her eyes. "My mini skirt just paid for more chemo therapy to keep you alive. And yet I'm the one getting chastised for it."

Roman darted an angry glare at his daughter, feeling a pure rage ignite within in. "Don't you dare undermine me, Carmen! I'm your father! I'm the head of this family! I'm trying my best to support everyone! Don't think, for one second, that selling what's between your legs to rich perverts puts you above your father!"

"Roman!" Eleanor gasped in shock, instantly wounded by his words towards their daughter. She didn't like listening to him talk to her like that and she definitely didn't like Teddy hearing it when she tried so hard to shield him from the reality of Carmen's work and the severity of her own illness.

Carmen calmly closed the styrofoam container of her takeout food and got up from her seat to spitefully throw the container back on top of the others. She held her fathers stare the whole time, despite the speed of her racing heart and the hurt she felt surrounding it. "Seriously.. fuck you, dude. Go eat a dick."

"Carmen!" Eleanor barked in shock.

"We did not raise you to speak to your own parents like that, Carmen!" Roman scolded as he roughly grabbed Carmen's arm, which made her whine and squirm. "What's happened to you? Have you gone mad? When did you become so disrespectful?"

"Let go of me, asshole!" Carmen shouted and pounded his fist against her father arm to try and force him to let go. "What have you ever done to earn my respect? You don't do shit around here!"

"Carmen, don't you dare speak to him like that!" Eleanor scolded with a shaky voice from her hospital bed that she was bound to. If she could get up and separate them herself she would. "Your father is working very, very hard, Carmen. You have no idea the toll this is taking on him."

"I don't care!" Carmen yanked her arm out of her father's grip. She ignored her father to turn her broken expression towards her mother. "I'll start respecting him when he acknowledges everything I've done for you. He's not the only one struggling around here."

"Neither are you.." Eleanor whispered to Carmen, firmly holding her gaze to silently remind her that they were a family and Eleanor's sickness was emotionally effecting all of them.

"Fuck this!" Carmen blurted and shoved passed her father to storm out of the hospital room. "If nobody is going to appreciate the things I do to keep you alive then why even bother being here?"

"Carmen! Get back here!" Roman shouted as he chased after her.

Carmen didn't pay attention to her father as she left the room. Even as Roman continued to yell at her for being so disrespectful towards him and choosing a job so demeaning and dangerous, Carmen yelled right back at him and continued stomping her way through the hospital. Their shouting faded eventually and Eleanor let out a heavy, staggering sigh. She was physically trembling from her combined anger and devastation.

Carmen didn't seemed to understand that her parents only lectured her so much because they were worried about her. She only seemed to focus on the part where she felt under-appreciated, which was understandable from her point of view. But Eleanor and Roman were so scared for her that they couldn't help but bring up the topic of her sketchy work, which always made her lash out. The snowball always just kept rolling and rolling until things like this happened.

They could never simply talk about express their feelings without fighting. Carmen was a teenager and she was hurt, so naturally, she neglected to remind herself that other people could hurt just as badly as herself. She was blind to her fathers pain ever since her mother got sick and every time Roman tried to remind her, it came out too aggressive for them to have a civil conversation. They were a mess. Eleanor was so scared to leave them behind and let them fend for themselves after she was no longer here to hold this family together.

Eleanor expected Teddy to say something after all of the chaos but he was silent and faced away from her as he stared at her heart monitor.

"You okay, baby?" Eleanor whispered to Teddy as she gently stroked the top of his head with a trembling hand. "I'm sorry they always do that."

"I don't care. Doesn't bother me." Teddy said, his eyes still glued to her heart rate. "But they're stressing you out."

Eleanor lifted her eyes towards the heart monitor and watched it slowly descend from 130 to 100. She had tuned that machine out already but now that she was paying attention, she noticed the rapid beating of the machine. Teddy continued to watch it, hoping it would go down enough for him to stop worrying. Eleanor was quiet and careful as she quickly removed the pulse oximeter off her finger to put it on Teddy's. The machine skipped a heartbeat during the transition but quickly adjusted to Teddy.

Teddy looked at his finger and then up at the monitor again. Eleanor frowned when her theory was proven correct. His heart rate was fast too. "They stress you out too, don't they? You don't want them to fight, right?"

Teddy shrugged, still staring at the machine. "I don't care."

Teddy didn't want to admit that he hated it and make his mother feel even worse, even though it didn't matter. Eleanor already worried so much about him and knew him too well to be convinced of his lie.

"You can care, baby. You're only human." Eleanor whispered as she caressed Teddy's head and laid a kiss atop it. "It's not healthy to bottle everything up. You have to let yourself feel."

Teddy simply shook his head, silently dismissing his mother's reassurance to save face and stay composed. Eleanor solemnly smiled and hugged Teddy against her. She prayed he would be able to process her inevitable death in a healthy way and not stay bottled up forever. She hoped this was only a defense mechanism for now, not forever. Eleanor wanted her baby boy to live a happy life, even if she wasn't in it, because she believed he had bountiful potential for love and success that would shine if he let himself open up.

Teddy had no such worries as he quickly returned the oximeter to his mother, since he cared more about her heart rate than his own, and looked up at the monitor again. Eleanor held Teddy against her with a tightness that made Teddy sad. She always held him like it was the last time she would get to. She held him like she would be torn from him before she was ready. Teddy could feel it and it made his eyes water. He didn't want her to leave.

What would Teddy do once his mother stopped holding him and his father and his sister were too busy comparing pain to realize he was just as hurt as them?

To distract both herself and her baby boy from the stress and sadness that had just bombarded them, Eleanor asked Teddy to sit forward and eat with her and he silently complied. Teddy didn't have to ask if they should wait to eat until his sister or his father return because he knew the answer already. The food would get cold and they'd starve if they waited that long for the other half of their family to cooperate. They were too caught up in their own emotions to put aside their differences and just eat a meal like a family.

Silently, with a lingering tension in the air, Teddy and Eleanor ate together without Roman or Carmen as they argued far away from the hospital room. Eleanor stole glances at her son as he inhaled his food and Teddy stole glances at his mother to make sure she was eating enough and wasn't choking on anything. They looked out for each other. Even when Roman and Carmen were nowhere in sight.

-

"Aren't you suppose to read to unconscious people?" Teddy asked as he stepped beside Zoe's hospital bed and gently flicked a few strands of hair out of her expressionless face. He only briefly left Zoe to get some coffee but hurried back in a panic, thinking she might die while he was gone, so he was a bit out of breath.

"Do you want to read to her?" Carmen smirked at Teddy when she looked up from the book she was reading Malik. "You can borrow this book about barn animals."

"No thanks." Teddy snorted a laugh and fell into the chair he pulled up to Zoe's bed. "Mom was never unconscious like this, though. I don't know the protocol for this."

"Don't compare her to mom!" Carmen warned with wide eyes. "Zoe's not dying."

"She was when she got here." Teddy calmly argued and lifted his coffee to his lips.

Teddy wished that wasn't true. Carrying Zoe into the hospital, with her lifeless in his arms, was a scar in his memory. He could still feel the lingering panic from the event, still felt like he was holding his breath from the moment they stormed in, and couldn't stop silently praying for her to wake up. Teddy had already dealt with the death of one person that meant a lot to him. He didn't like getting so close to another loss. It made him physically sick and emotionally drained.

Carmen was focused more on Malik now that Zoe had recovered from her allergic reaction, and watched as he played with the hard pages of his book rather than having any interest in it's story. Bailey was busy playing on Carmen's iPad on the other side of the room, which Carmen was thankful for since she got very loud and whiny when she was bored. She also didn't know that Zoe almost died, only knew she was asleep, so Carmen was glad she didn't have to calm Bailey down when she was busy comforting her little brother.

Teddy kept his eyes on Zoe's heart monitor, which was on the other side of the bed from him. It didn't rise or fall. She was perfectly calm and at rest. Carmen had plenty of memories of Teddy staring at their mother's heart monitor. She never asked him why he always stared at it but she could almost feel the anxiety radiating off of him so she didn't bother to ask. It was obvious. He was just worried and the heart monitor was his only source of reassurance since he didn't know how Zoe—or his mother—actually felt.

"I hate hospitals." Carmen heavily sighed in the silence as her eyes scanned the room and caught sight of a nurse pushing someone in a wheelchair passed the room. "Too many bad memories here."

"Trust me, I'm right there with you." Teddy agreed.

"I was such a brat back then.. How embarrassing.."

"It was embarrassing." Teddy smirked at Carmen.

Carmen frowned. "Well, dad was a dick too. It wasn't just me."

"Yeah.. He had his moments." Teddy's smirk fell and he sighed. Even the memories of all the yelling stressed Teddy out.

Teddy and Carmen hated hospitals for very different reasons, even if their bad memories surrounded the same chapter in their lives. Carmen could only feel guilt weighing heavy in her heart as she recalled the times she argued with and got yelled at by her father right in front of her sick mother. Teddy felt a lurking anxiety that made him feel paranoid. He felt like he was waiting, continuously, forever for the other shoe to drop and it made him want to hold his breath the whole time he was here.

Even if Zoe wasn't at risk of dying any longer, Teddy felt like she would suddenly combust at any moment. It was the same feeling that haunted him when he was with his mother. He never wanted to feel this anxiety ever again, especially with someone he cared so much about.

"Do you think this was another test?" Carmen asked.

Teddy's whipped his head towards his sister and he quickly shushed her. "Shh! You don't know what she can hear!" He whisper-yelled.

"She's not in a coma or something, Teddy. She's sleeping." Carmen said, although she still whispered to make him feel better.

Teddy sighed and glanced towards Zoe and her heart monitor. She was still unconscious, her heart rate unchanging, facial features still frozen but angelic as always. Even if she couldn't hear him, he didn't like talking about this around her. He wanted to protect her from the horrors of this Mission Z shit, even if she was unconscious.

"There's no way it was a test." Teddy whispered to Carmen. "The chance of her eating that damn kiwi with all of that other fruit around was too low. It was either an accident or... something. If Rin really wanted to poison her daughter and nearly kill her, she would've come up with a plan with a higher success rate."

"You think Rin would really almost kill her own daughter?" Carmen frowned with pity hanging heavy in her chest.

"She sent a rapist and a murderer after her own daughter. Why wouldn't she give her a deadly allergic reaction?"

"We don't know if Brian would've killed her."

"He would have hurt her if she resisted and that can escalate very quickly, Carmen. You should know that better than me."

Carmen shamefully dropped her eyes to the floor and nodded. Her experience in that topic was not something she liked to talk about or relive but she understood. If a man was willing to force himself on a woman and hurt her as much as he pleased for his own selfishness, he would kill her if he had to. Something like that was not to be taken lightly. Frankly, Carmen was thankful Brian was dead, but if Rin was the puppet master of his mission to take advantage of Zoe, she deserved to die just as much as Brian did.

"I'm glad you're my little brother." Carmen confessed when she pulled herself from her thoughts. Teddy looked curiously towards his sister, taken aback by her sudden confession. "Even in the face of three strong women, as soon as they were hurt, you have always been there to protect and support them. You were always by mom's side, you always vowed to save me from Ezra, you watch over Zoe like a hawk so she will be okay and risk your life to protect her. It makes me very proud of you."

Teddy cracked a smile and shook his head. "Like you said, those three women are strong enough without me. You all mean too much to me to simply stand by and watch get hurt, though. I'm just trying to do my part."

"Still, I'm very proud and I love you." Carmen softly smiled.

Teddy reflected Carmen's smile. "I love you too."

Teddy hadn't ever thought about it before, but the most important people in his life were women. The only people that he devoted himself to were women. Teddy was a total momma's boy, he could admit that. He wasn't always close with his older sister, but once he figured out her situation and all that she was going through, he vowed to dedicate his life to getting rich, saving her, and avenging her. And now, with Zoe, he knew he would do anything for her.

Yet, at the same time, none of them truly needed him. Eleanor was a strong woman. She was a hard worker and smiled even when she was in pain. She was a warrior. Even Carmen reassured Teddy that she was fine after being beaten by her husband because she was strong enough to get up every single time that Ezra pushed her down. She could endure him and still look out for her children. She was a warrior.

Teddy couldn't even begin to describe Zoe's strength. The girl was destined to be ripped apart and destroyed ever since she was born to that evil witch. Yet, even at sixteen, she was a professional and striving in a field full of competition and judgement. When she was forced to be a flyer in her cheer squad, and was absolutely terrified, she still did it anyways. Even her level of vulnerability with Teddy made her seem unbelievably brave to him. She fearlessly opened herself up to him, even though, there was no way of knowing that he wouldn't hurt her.

That was just about the strongest thing Teddy had ever seen with his own two eyes, considering he had known Zoe for months and was still scared of giving himself up to her. Zoe was a warrior.

-

It wasn't until the evening when Zoe opened her eyes again. She didn't move a muscle besides her eyelids as she came to consciousness. The first thing she noticed was how quiet the room was. There was a tv across the room from her that was playing a Cavaliers basketball game but the volume was quiet.

Zoe turned her head slightly to her left and spotted Teddy, who was sat in a chair that was impossibly close to her bed with his phone in one hand as he scrolled through social media. Surprisingly enough, Teddy's other hand was holding hers. Since Zoe had an oximeter on her middle finger, Teddy gently and mindlessly stroked her pinky and ring finger with his own as he stared at his phone. She could tell he wasn't doing it consciously but it still made her happy. She felt cared for just by his simple, comforting touch.

A weak smile pulled at Zoe's lips and she turned her head to look back at the tv. She was still tired and could feel even her body was a bit exhausted from the toll her allergic reaction took on her body, but she felt ten times better than before. Her mouth was dry but there was no itch and she could breathe again. There was still a small spark of embarrassment deep within her that made her blush. She should've been more careful. It was such an easy thing to avoid.

"How did he miss that?" Zoe croaked as she watched one of the Cavaliers players fumble an alley-oop.

Teddy's head snapped up towards Zoe and his heart went wild at the sound of her voice. He looked towards the tv when he noticed her brown eyes glued to it and smiled when he realized that a failed basketball shot was at the top of her priority list after just waking up. Teddy was quick to tuck his phone away in his hoodie and stand up to greet Zoe properly. He kept her hand in his, even grasping it with his other as he gazed down at her.

"Hey.. How do you feel?" Teddy softly asked.

"I feel okay." Zoe shrugged.

"I told you not to eat that fuckin' fruit, Bozo."

Zoe rolled her eyes and snorted a weak laugh. "That's the first thing you have to say to me? Really, Teddy?"

"No. I asked you how you were first. I have manners." Teddy smirked and Zoe simply shook her head at him. "Do you need anything? I can call a nurse or grab you something myself. There's water here."

"Water, please. My mouth is sooo dry."

Teddy let go of Zoe's hand to grab the pitcher of water on the overbed table and pour her a cup. Zoe sipped it slowly so she could savor her hydration as Teddy fell back into his chair. He stayed perked up, though, and carefully watched Zoe to make sure she didn't suddenly drown. With her luck, anything was possible. Seeing Teddy watch her so carefully, sat by her side with a bit of concern in his eyes, made Zoe's heart warm. She couldn't even hold back her smile as she stared back at him.

"What?" Teddy asked as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing.. It just feels nice to have you by my side." Zoe blushed. "I would have been a lot more scared if you weren't so calm."

"Calm?" Teddy nearly exclaimed. "I wasn't calm! I was having a panic attack the second I saw that kiwi in your hand. I was fucking delirious when we got here because you were unconscious. I had nurses asking me if I was hurt too, I was so panicked. I've never been less calm in my life!"

Zoe gave Teddy a sympathetic tilt of her head but couldn't wipe her smile from her face. Reaching out for Teddy, she said, "You seemed so calm to me.. I had no idea you were panicking. I'm sorry I scared you, Teddy."

Teddy gave a slight pout, as if he was going to hold a grudge because of the panic she caused him. Still, he took her hand and gently rubbed the pad of his thumb over her knuckles like he had been for what felt like hours now. Teddy liked when they held hands. Her hands were always warmer than he expected and her skin was so fare and smooth. Not to mention, her nails looked deliciously dangerous in contrast to how delicate the rest of her was. They complimented her nicely.

"What did the doctor say?" Zoe asked to break the silence.

"She said you came out of this pretty good, all things considering." Teddy shrugged. "You didn't swallow any of the kiwi so they didn't have to pump your stomach or anything. She said, since you spit it out quickly and I got you here quickly, there as minimal damage. Could've been much worse."

Zoe opened her mouth and started fingering the inside of her cheeks, the roof of her mouth, all around her tongue, and her gums. "I don't feel any blisters so I guess that's good. It was a lot worse last time."

"Still should've listened to me." Teddy bitterly muttered.

Zoe rolled her eyes again. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"You almost died, Zoe!" Teddy exclaimed to defend himself. "It was my responsibility to get you here and make sure you didn't die! That's a lot of pressure to put on one person!"

"What would I do without you?" Zoe chuckled.

Teddy didn't want to answer that because the only thing he could of said was that she wouldn't ever have to be without him. He would always look out for her. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. But, at the same time, Zoe was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Teddy knew that. She may be clumsy and she made mistakes but she wasn't hopeless. Even if he was not around, Zoe would survive just fine. That certainly made him feel a bit more useless than he already did.

That was an ongoing problem in Teddy's life.

"Where's Carmen? Didn't she say she was following us to the hospital?" Zoe asked, her voice still quiet and weak as she looked around the hospital room.

"She was here for awhile but needed to go home to make dinner for the babies and start their nightly routine. You know how labor intensive that is." Teddy said with a smirk, hinting at the fact that Carmen was a little too thorough when it came to the kids routines.

"Yes, I know.." Zoe weakly laughed.

At the mention of Carmen, Teddy thought back to her announcement she made awhile after they had been sitting in silence together. She was taking the kids to a water park tomorrow morning. Teddy asked if she was taking them alone and she nodded, making a very suggestive, smug face as she stared intensely into Teddy's eyes. It took him a moment to catch on but he eventually understood why she was leaving for the day/night. It was because it was Valentine's Day and she wanted something to happen between Teddy and Zoe.

Carmen's inevitable absence put a lot of pressure on Teddy almost instantly. He liked Zoe. Enough to want to have sex with her, but the very thought brought on so much anxiety that he felt like he was trembling. Zoe was a virgin. He would have to be very, very careful with her. And he was a virgin. Who was to say that he even knew how to be careful the right way? What if she didn't even want to give him her virginity? What if it wasn't fun or it hurt her or...? There was so much that could go wrong.

Teddy liked his dreams better. He could touch her and kiss her all he wanted and she liked it no matter what. It wouldn't be like that in reality. Two virgins who were both pushing down their feelings for one another were bound to fucked it up somehow. It almost scared Teddy more to think that it would be good. What if it was so good that Zoe confessed that she loved him and it got weird? What if he never wanted to let her go and started acting like a careless idiot?

The temptation was greater than Teddy's worries, however. He was scared and anxious and his mind wouldn't stop racing, but he wanted to do it. He wanted Zoe. He liked his dreams but he didn't know how many more he could endure before he finally just grabbed Zoe and kissed her. Besides, he reluctantly bought condoms yesterday, by his fathers recommendation. He figured he might as well put them to use. It would just be pathetic to let them sit and collect dust, right?

It was just sex. Nothing big. Just sex.

"Do you want to lay with me?" Zoe asked, interrupting Teddy's thoughts. His eyebrows raised at her question and she looked down at their hands. "We can comfort each other better if you're closer.."

"Do you want my comfort?" Teddy asked, a bit disbelieving that he could even provide comfort.

"Always.." Zoe shyly whispered. "Do you want my comfort?"

Teddy's expression shifted from confusion to a lighthearted look as a smirk broke across his features. "I guess so. It couldn't hurt."

Teddy let go of Zoe's hands to stand up as she shifted in her hospital bed to make room for him. Teddy was careful as he crawled under the the thin hospital blanket beside Zoe and got comfortable next to her. He threw an arm around her Zoe snuggled into his side for his warmth and comfort. His hoodie was so soft, his body was warm, and his very presence made all discomfort within Zoe melt away. Even Teddy felt muscles that he didn't know were tense melt away as the blonde laid her head on him.

This was all so familiar to Teddy. The quiet hospital, the stiff hospital bed, the heart monitor beeping, holding on to someone that he never ever wanted to lose.

"We can go home tonight, right?" Zoe asked as she laid a hand on Teddy's chest.

"Yeah. We can go home. Your allergic reaction wasn't severe enough for them to keep you for too long." Teddy explained, reaching a hand to toy with a strand of her blonde hair.

"Good. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It would be a shame to be stuck in here on a day like that." Zoe said.

Teddy stared at the top of Zoe's head as she stared at the tv with her head on his chest. He enjoyed having her this close to him. Holding her hand was enough to keep him calm since he felt like he had some kind of hold on her, but now she had a hold on him as she cuddled him like this, and Teddy liked it even better. He wasn't just holding on to her but she was holding on to him as well. She feared losing him just as much as he feared losing her.

There was no doubt in the overwhelming feeling that lingered in Teddy's chest when he realized it was there. He couldn't mistake it for anything other than what it was. It certainly wasn't lust, wasn't simple curiosity, wasn't a myth that was glorified by songs and stories. It was real and it was powerful.

"You're not doing anything with anybody tomorrow, right?" Teddy asked in the silence.

Zoe shifted so she could crane her neck to look up at Teddy. "No. I'm not doing anything."

"Alright. Well... Don't make plans for anything. We'll hang out tomorrow. Just me and you." Teddy proposed.

"Okay.." Zoe smiled, taming the expression by trapping her bottom lip between her teeth and laying her head on his chest again.

Zoe's heart rate audibly rose and Teddy turned his eyes towards the heart monitor, fighting a smile as he realized Zoe was excited. His proposal to spend Valentine's Day together made her heart race. Now Teddy wondered if she could hear his heart rate with her head pressed to his chest because he felt just as excited by their new plans. How strange. It didn't even take that long for Teddy to go from hating Zoe to wanting to spend Valentine's Day with her. He didn't imagine he'd feel this way about anybody for another few years.

-

"Getting married on Valentine's Day. Isn't that a little tacky?" Howl shouted over the music as he leaned over the bar to get Liam's attention.

Liam was already drunk, and at the sound of Howl's voice, he whipped around and nearly tipped over. Even though it was suppose to be his bachelor party tonight, Liam was still behind the counter of the bar in the nightclub. He had been working at this club for awhile and he liked his job, a lot, so he was having fun behind the bar with his coworker as his friends partied on the other side. It was obvious Liam was the bachelor and the center of this party, however, since he had a stupid crown on his head.

"Emmitt!" Liam exclaimed and threw his arms out, nearly knocking over a few of the drinks lined up on glass shelves behind him. He made sure the bottles were settled before he stumbled towards Emmitt. "You were not invited to my bachelor party. I remember tell you that multiple times. How did you get in here?"

"Your bachelor party is at the nightclub you work at six nights a week, Liam. It was easy to find you. And Emma lets me in every time I come here. It wasn't that hard to crash this party." Howl teased with a huge grin as he happily watched Liam struggle to stay on his feet.

"I could get you thrown out of here." Liam warned as he shook a drunk finger at Howl.

"But you won't." Howl cockily smirked. "You have a soft spot for me. Always have."

Liam's eyes narrowed as his lips goofily pursed. He just stared at Howl, obviously thinking something but disguising it within his lack of control over his facial expressions. Howl held Liam's stare, challenging his bluff. Liam wouldn't have him thrown out, even if he did warn Howl that he was not invited to the bachelor party or the wedding ceremony. Ever since Howl confessed his feelings for him, Liam always gave Howl special privileges. Even Liam didn't fully know why.

It was just Howl. He was everyone's exception.

"Outside?" Liam proposed as his expressions softened. "It's too loud in here."

"Is this a trick?" Howl laughed. "So you can kick me out?"

"No!" Liam chuckled and fished his cigarettes out of his pocket. "I need a smoke."

Howl nodded and got up from his seat at the bar as Liam excused himself from his friends. Liam still stumbled and swayed as he walked so Howl offered his help. He tried to keep Liam upright and on a straight path to the back door as they waded around the crowd of drunk, dancing party-goers. Besides the stench of liquor, Liam smelled just as good as he looked. He smelled like a Hollister model and looked like one too with his broad chest, washboard abs, and curly blonde hair.

Howl hadn't seen Liam's abs in years, though. Not since he was kid and was dragged to Garrett's pool/birthday party by his moms. Liam was shirtless and wet the entire day. It was a good day.

Once they were both outside, Liam leaned back against the brick building and lit himself a cigarette before he offered one to Howl. Being offered a cigarette from his biggest crush in the world was very flattering to Howl. Liam was why he started smoking in the first place. Howl saw him smoking at another family function that his mother's dragged him to and he stared at him for hours that day.

Howl's moms weren't even very religious like Liam and Garrett's parents but Howl was more than grateful that his mother didn't have the heart to turn down a party invite from such nice people. It gave him plenty of opportunities to stare and admire and drool over Liam as a kid. He eventually tried to earn himself Liam's attention as well, which is where the cigarettes came in.

At the time, Howl figured it would give him and Liam something in common and would make Liam like him better. That delusional dissolved quickly when Liam scolded Howl for smoking but the habit stuck. Howl debated quitting smoking plenty of times but it reminded him of Liam and he only had fond memories of Liam, his first love, so he was reluctant to let it go. That was more than Howl could say for the other men that came in and out of his life.

"If I was eighteen-" Howl started, breaking the silence in the alleyway that him and Liam were stood in. "Would that change anything?"

"With my marriage?" Liam drunkenly joked.

"You're not married yet." Howl argued.

Liam flashed Howl a playful glare but returned to considering Howl's question. "You would still be a lot younger, Howl. We're in two different stages of our lives."

"So, what if I was twenty-five? What if you knew me when you were seventeen?" Howl pushed, his eyes glued to Liam as Liam watched the smoke spewing from his lips drift into the air. "Would I even have a chance then? Would you be attracted to me at all?"

Liam let out the last of the smoke in his lungs with a heavy sigh and turned against the brick so he was leaning on his shoulder, his eyes locking with Howl's. For a moment, Howl straightened his posture and waited for Liam's answer. He thought Liam was going to speak and finally give Howl the answer to his life-long question, but instead, Liam simply looked Howl slowly up and down. He was scrutinizing him, doing the calculations, weighing his options in this very familiar situation.

"If you were twenty-five and I wasn't engaged..." Liam's drunk gaze shot all around Howl's face. "Maybe."

Howl lit up with a sparkle in his eyes and a bright smile on his face. Howl always bugged Liam about giving him a chance and trying to convince him that Howl could make him happy, and Liam always shut him down. Usually, he did it with a playful remark so that he didn't hurt Howl with his constant rejections, but this was the first time Liam didn't say no. It was probably because he was drunk but Howl didn't care. He would take Liam's answer as a win.

There was something that felt different, though. There was a familiar voice in the back of Howl's head that was telling him to try and seduce Liam while he could, but he didn't want to listen to that voice. That was strange. Any other day, Howl would have done anything to get Liam to finally sleep with him. He was pleased with Liam's answer but he was so pleased that he felt oddly satisfied. Was that all he wanted? Just a chance, not a rejection? And then the chase was over?

All this time pining after Liam and Howl didn't even want anything more than a chance?

"What? You're not going to ask me to fuck you now?" Liam chuckled as he stared down at the young troublemaker he was so used to goofing around with.

The light in Howl's expression dimmed as he shrugged. "No. I guess not.."

Liam's smirk also fell as he examined Howl even closer, nearly falling forward in the process. "Do you not like me anymore, Emmitt? Did I do something?"

"No, I still like you." Howl confessed.

That felt like the truth. Liam was the reason Howl figured out he was gay. He was the first guy Howl ever confessed to. Liam was handsome and funny and charming and he had always wanted to kiss him and have sex with him. But it was different now. Something had changed. Maybe it was because Howl always knew he would never have Liam all to himself. Maybe it was because his crush had ran on for too long and now he couldn't imagine him as anything more.

Or maybe.. Howl already found someone else that he didn't have to imagine anything with. Maybe he already found everything he needed.

"You still like me? It doesn't look like it. Looks like I've disappointed you with my answer." Liam frowned.

"It's not you. I still like you. I think I'll always like you." Howl paused as he let his brain continue to process and pinpoint what was wrong.

Before Howl could land on it and push Liam aside for the first time since he laid eyes on him, Liam decided to selfishly cut off his train of thought. He took a single step forward, grabbed the back of Howl's neck, and planted his lips on him. Howl's eyes widened and his body locked up as Liam kissed him. Howl always imagined what their first kiss would be like and he always imagined it would evolve into them ripping their clothes off, but instead, Howl ripped Liam off of him.

"What the fuck was that?" Howl nearly shouted as he kept Liam's body an arm's distance away with his hands gripping at Liam's forearms.

"I don't know." Liam frowned as his hazy gaze shot around Howl's face and lingered in his lips. "I didn't like the idea of you not liking me anymore."

"W-Why not?" Howl gulped.

Liam was silent, brooding, slightly confused. "You've always liked me. For as long as I've known you. It feels nice to have someone like you, that's always there, always smiling, always admiring. Makes me feel good."

Howl frowned, his eyebrows tightly cinched above his nose and teeth nibbling at his bottom lip. There was a lot to process here.

"But you don't like me back? You just like that I like you..." Howl asked.

Liam's grip on the back of Howl's neck stayed firmly planted there as his fingers squirmed. "You're cute."

"That wasn't answer my question." Howl's confused expression turned annoyed. "Do you want to be with me? At all?"

"I want to kiss you." Liam dropped his cigarette to cup Howl's face and force him closer.

Howl's locked arms loosened and he allowed Liam to close some of the distance between them. It was clear Liam was drunk by the look in his eyes and the smell of his breath so Howl was having a hard time taking any of these confessions seriously. Besides, they weren't satisfying answers. It didn't sound like Liam looked at him the same way Howl looked at him. But yet again, Howl was beginning to look at him differently. He didn't see all of those sexual fantasies in his head now like he used to before.

"You don't want me. You don't like me." Howl whispered as he stared up at Liam, keeping him just far away enough so their lips couldn't touch. It hurt him to realize this but it also felt a bit relieving. "You just like the attention I give you. You don't want a relationship."

"You don't either." Liam countered, his voice just as quiet as Howl's. "You just want a quick fuck to satiate your eight year long crush."

Howl shook his head but he didn't know what he was saying no to. Liam's assumption should be right. That's all Howl ever asked of Liam, but only because he knew he couldn't have Liam. Not truly. Even now, with Liam trying to kiss him again, he knew it was still true. The only difference was that Howl didn't want what Liam was offering. Howl didn't remember what he wanted before he felt this change but he knew he wanted more than a quick fuck, even if that was at the forefront of his jokes.

"I don't want you, Liam.." Howl said. Liam's head tilted as he carefully tried to figure out if what Howl was saying was true. "I use to. Even ten minutes ago, I use to. But it's different. You like me because I give you attention. And I like you because you're sentimental to me."

"What the fuck does that mean?" Liam snorted a laugh, his thumb stroking the hairs on the back of Howl's neck as they stayed close with their hands on each other.

"It means..." Howl sighed as he tried to think. When it finally made sense, Howl looked up at Liam with a new determination in his eyes. "I love you, Liam, but I'm not in love with you. I'm always going to like you but I love someone else. You, I could keep in like a shoebox with old movie tickets and love letters, while I spend my time with the person I love now."

Liam understanding nodded as he also began to put the puzzle pieces together. He could tell Howl was having trouble putting his thoughts into words but he understood the message, nonetheless. Liam knew he was still special to Howl, and always would be, but it was a different kind of special than how he felt towards whoever he was with now. His love for Fisher didn't erase what he felt for Liam but it overshadowed it and turned it into something of the past, something to be reminisced on, not pursued.

"So.. you love somebody?" Liam whispered, his grip loosening on Howl before they both stepped away from each other.

Howl took a few sobering breaths. "I think so, yes."

"That little Fish kid from the party?" Liam's charming, drunken smirk returned as he looked down upon Howl, who nodded at his question. "How mature of you, Emmitt."

Howl shrugged. "It kind of snuck up on me. I thought I was just messing around but, turns out, I've never had this much fun before. It's like.. he's perfect. Like my other half."

Liam snorted another laugh and reached to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. "I know what you mean. I get to marry my other half tomorrow.."

Howl and Liam locked eyes for a few silent minutes as they both processed the situation they were in. They both felt like they were losing each other while never even having each other in the first place. It was quite odd. Liam never had true romantic emotions for Howl, yet he always enjoyed having his full attention and having him by his side. The most Howl ever got out of his desires for Liam was a sloppy, drunken kiss, and even he was upset that it was all he got after pining over him for so many years.

But even though they were losing apart of each other and didn't like it, neither of them were going to close the distance between them and ask for more because they didn't want that. It was strange and confusing.

Liam was the first to break their silence as he took a step towards Howl and slapped a hand down on his head. "I'm very happy for you, Emmitt. I'm going to miss being the center of your world but Fisher is lucky to get to take my place."

Howl smiled and looked up at Liam as his hand fell from his head. "Good thing I fell in love before you got married. Who knows what kind of scene I would've caused at your wedding."

Liam laughed, the sound deep and loud, which made Howl smile. Liam was easy to admire but Fisher was easy to love. That was the difference. And Howl was happy to have realized that before Liam kissed him. This situation would have ended up completely different if Fisher wasn't already the center of Howl's world.

"Sorry, I kissed you." Liam blurted as he shoved a key in the door that led back into the nightclub and yanked it open.

Howl smiled at Liam and shook his head. "Don't be. I have been dreaming about that moment for years so a part of me was happy. It just wasn't.. you know.."

"I know." Liam nodded.

Liam and Howl exchanged knowing stares and soft smiles before Liam ducked back into the nightclub and shut the door behind him. For a moment, Howl simply stood and watched the last of Liam's discarded cigarette disintegrate.

There was a long time there that Howl was scared of Liam getting married. When he found a girlfriend, Howl was crushed. He felt betrayed. The boy he had a massive crush on for years and years found a girl. That sucked. It hurt even worse when Liam got engaged and Howl realized that the boy he could never have was even further out of his reach. But with Fisher, that heartache was only a memory now. That felt good. To have someone he cared about so much that his previous obsession couldn't consume him anymore.

Stepping out of the alleyway, Howl dialed Fisher's number and weaved through the crowd of party-goers in the street as he found his way to his car. It didn't take long for Fisher to answer and Howl found himself grinning from ear to ear when he could hear Fisher's Overwatch game playing in the background. That kid played that game every second that he got a chance. He was such a weeb, and Howl loved it.

"Yeah?" Fisher distractedly said once he answered.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Howl asked as he slid into his car.

"Nothing, why?"

"My moms are going to a casino for Valentine's Day. Gonna leave the apartment empty and I'm going to be all alone." Howl said with a flirtatious tone to his voice.

Fisher's eyes widened as he realized what kind of situation he had just stumbled into. He forgot tomorrow was Valentine's Day. He was too distracted by his game to realize that's exactly why Howl would be calling him. Fisher was so stunned that he watched his character get killed and even watched as the timer counted down to his respawn, unable to comprehend the fact that he was even playing the game at all. He only had enough sense left in him to keep his phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear.

"Want to come over?" Howl asked through the phone.

Fisher gulped and began rubbing his sweaty fingers into his palms. He could already feel his heart aggressively pump in his chest. "On Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah." Fisher could hear Howl's smirk just in his tone.

"Are we going to... uh.." Fisher nervously stammered.

"I think we should." Howl chuckled. "It's only customary that we celebrate Valentine's Day by fucking each other's brains out."

Fisher let out a strangled, embarrassed chuckle. "Alright.. I guess that doesn't sound like the worse way to spend the day."

"You know, I really like this new boyfriend thing we're trying out." Howl teased. "It's so much more fun when you're willing to be with me, rather than running from me."

"Yeah, it's strange how that works." Fisher laughed and rolled his eyes. "Something that obvious should have hit you sooner, you giant heathen."

"Good thing you're around to teach me these things. What would I do without you?" Howl chuckled.

"I can't imagine what kind of havoc you would reek if you were without me." Fisher smugly retorted. "I'm the only thing keeping you together at this point."

Howl laughed. He was so tempted to tell Fisher that he loved him right now. It felt like it would be such an easy and natural place to slip it in, but he bit his tongue. Howl wanted Fisher to love him back first. They needed to build more of a solid relationship before Howl just threw something that powerful at him. Although, Fisher already had his suspicions based off of the last time they had mentioned the word love. And strangely enough, Fisher didn't hate the word like he hated so many others before...