2.15
~ Different Houses, Same 4 Walls ~
-
"Where ya been?" Teddy asked, trying his best to sound super casual and not like he was internally panicking.
Just the sound of Teddy's voice forced out all of the horrible thoughts plaguing her mind. It was so warm and low and made her feel so safe and relaxed. That was exactly why she called him. Everything about Teddy put her at ease. She was just comfortable around him. He felt like what she thought a home was suppose to feel like. That was also why she wanted to go back to him so badly. She hadn't felt safe or comfortable or relaxed in weeks. And those soothing feeling seemed to only grow farther from her as the days went by.
"I've been so busy. I'm sorry, it's taken this long for me to call. My mother wouldn't even let me have my phone for awhile since it was causing distractions."
"Sounds like you're not busy anymore."
"Not until morning. We can talk until then." Zoe suggested with a smug smile playing over her features.
Teddy fought his own smile as he rolled his eyes. "You're in a completely different timezone from me, Zo. Are you talking about your morning or mine?"
"Yours. We can talk longer that way. Don't you have a whole bunch of stories to tell me since I've been gone anyways?"
Before Teddy could respond, Zoe's phone began to blow up with text messages and missed calls and social media notifications. Her phone was finally catching up with the fact that it was activated again. Even Teddy could hear it sing and chime over and over again as message after message began to pop up. That was the only reason Teddy actually realized that Zoe called him before she did anything else. She just turned her phone on and called him. No hesitation. Teddy actually felt a bit smug knowing that. Zoe had so much going on in her life but, without skipping a beat, she went to him.
"If you've got people to catch up with, Zo, you don't have to be talking to me." Teddy said, attempting to be polite and modest past the smugness he felt.
"No, I just want to talk to you." Zoe sighed as she silenced her phone and rested it against her ear again.
The smugness festering within Teddy calmed just a bit as he suddenly became worried about the tone in Zoe's voice. She sounded tired or sad or something. Teddy could feel that there was something wrong. Zoe sounded way too mellow and that wasn't usually her style. The only Zoe gave Teddy the reigns to the conversation was when they had to work together in class and Teddy was explaining answers to their work. And even then, Zoe was basically wagging her tail with excitement and ended up interrupting him to gossip.
"Everything alright?" Teddy reluctantly asked.
"Mhm.." Zoe hummed. "I just need you to talk to me."
Teddy awkwardly squirmed in his own skin and stared up at the sky as he tried to think of something. "Wh-What do you want to talk about?"
Zoe was silent for a moment before she decided on where her priorities lied. "How's Carmen and the kids? You guys still staying at the house?"
"Uh.. Yeah! Carmen's like a whole new person here, you know. She's getting enough sleep, making all her own rules, bossing me around nonstop." Zoe softly chuckled at that, which made Teddy crack a smile. "If she knew I was talking to you right now, she'd probably snatch my phone away and rant and rave about how fucking perfect you are. After visiting our mother, she basically wants to adopt you into the family."
Zoe's small smile broadened and her heart warmed as she was reminded of that. She was so busy and distracted, she actually forgot that she had sent all those flowers, and the letter, to Eleanor. It made Zoe happy to know that it made Carmen happy.
"Did you read the letter? Did you like it? And the flowers?" Zoe whispered, now feeling so content and relaxed that she could almost fall asleep in this very tub.
Teddy hesitated to respond only because he was so used to hiding his true feelings. Normally, he would make some snarky remark and act like it didn't affect him but, he didn't want to do that anymore. It felt rude, which was a new sort of guilt in his conscience that Teddy wasn't used to. Zoe was sweet enough bring his family home to him and then leave flowers and a personally written letter to his deceased mother. She didn't deserve to have her kindness brushed off so selfishly.
"I loved it, Zoe. As did Carmen. I really didn't expect you to do something like. The flowers were beautiful and the letter was.. There are no words, really, to describe it." Teddy genuinely answered. "You really didn't have to go out of your way to do something like that and that just proves how thoughtful you are. Thank you Zoe. Seriously."
"Wow.. I've never heard you praise me so much." Zoe beamed with happiness and she tilted her head to rest it against the porcelain of the bathtub she was laying in. "You're welcome, Teddy. From what I hear, you had a really, really good mom so.. you know... I wanted to show my appreciation for someone who loved their children so much..." Zoe quietly tapered off, almost as if she was falling asleep.
Teddy frowned, his eyebrows pulling into each other and jaw tightening as he grew a bit worried. "Are you falling asleep? What time is it there?"
"Don't worry. I'm awake." Zoe spoke up as she sniffled back some tears. Teddy instantly noticed the crack in her voice and then, it made sense. She was trying not to cry. "How are Howl and Fisher?"
Teddy sighed and frustratedly rubbed his forehead as he tried not to get too upset. He hated when Zoe cried. It always triggered this weird part of him that made him angry and irrational. He didn't feel like there was anything to say that would make her stop. Or rather, to make her feel better. Teddy didn't even know what was going on. He didn't know why she was trying not to cry or what put her in that state and that annoyed him. She wasn't talking to him, she was just trying to distract herself.
"Zoe, what's going on?" Teddy lowly demanded as he tried to keep his anger at bay.
"Nothing.." Zoe lied as tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. "I'm fine."
"Don't try to lie to me, Zoe. You promised you'd never do that. Tell me what's going on or I'll hang up on you."
Zoe raised her free hand out of the tub and covered her face with it as she slowly began to crumble again. The pressure in her head was building up the more she tried to hold back her tears. Eventually, she just started whimpering and softly sobbing as tears escaped her closed eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Teddy could feel his heart pound in his chest at a painful rate as he listened to Zoe pitifully sob on the other end of the phone. All he could do was take a deep breath and wait for her to calm down enough to talk.
"Can't you just tell me how Howl and Fisher are?" Zoe begged through broken sobs.
"No. Tell me what's wrong." Teddy firmly demanded.
"I don't want to talk about it, Teddy!" Zoe cried.
"Then, I don't want to talk to you, Zoe!"
That only seemed to make Zoe cry even more violently, which made Teddy sulk against the brick wall behind him. He wasn't trying to be a dick and make this situation worse but, there was almost nothing Teddy hated more than Zoe's crying. How did she expect him to fix her problems if she wouldn't even tell him what was happening? There was no way he could comfort her if she wouldn't speak. And, he sure as shit wasn't going to ramble on about nothing just to distract her from her problems. He needed to know what was wrong.
"My mother shot and killed an intern today." Zoe finally confessed, her voice faltering as she attempted not to cry. Teddy went stiff and silent in shock. "And, that's not even the worse part, Teddy. She told me to kill him. She said she would be proud of me and that she'd let me come home and that's all I really want, you know.. I guess I just took too long to make a decision so she just started yelling at me to do it, do it, do it, and it scared me, Teddy... So, I shot at him..."
Teddy was still silent, trying to process every broken word that fell off Zoe's tongue. He wasn't so shocked to hear that Zoe's mother had killed someone, seeing as he assumed she did that all the time but, he was shocked to know that she had killed someone right in front of Zoe. And then, hearing that she was bribing Zoe to do it by offering her some motherly love was sickening. And then she started yelling at Zoe to force her to kill someone? What kind of mother bribed and threatened their child into shooting and killing a stranger?
No wonder Zoe was such a broken mess right now. Her mother was completely psychopathic.
From what Teddy knew about Zoe, he didn't blame her for attempting it. Teddy knew that the only thing Zoe wanted was proud and loving parents. She wanted to be genuinely loved and appreciated by them and she worked her ass off just to please them and earn their affection. He could only imagine how difficult it was for Zoe to choose between killing someone and being loved. It was basically Zoe's worse nightmare. In order to be accepted by her parents, she had to become them.
It was mental abuse. Psychological warfare. Insanity. It made Teddy spiral into even more worry and anxiety.
"I really wanted to go home, back to Ohio." Zoe explained through tears. Her sobs were building so quickly that she could barely breathe. "I wanted to go home, Teddy. I wanted to see my friends. I wanted to see you, Teddy."
Teddy groaned as his head fell back against the brick wall and his eyes fell shut. There was so much going through his head, he didn't even know what to say. When he told Zoe to tell him what was going on, he didn't expect something like this.
"I was s-so scared, Teddy. " Zoe sputtered through violent sobs as she sunk further into the tub. "I'm so hor-horrible.. I can't b-believe I would even think about doing something like that, Teddy. How could I do something like that? I can't turn into them, Teddy. I c-can't be like my-my mom. I can't.."
Teddy was silent for a moment longer as he listened to Zoe whimper and sniffled back her sobs. Finally, he cleared his throat and spoke very lowly into his phone. "You said your mother killed him, Zoe, but you're acting like you did it. Who was it?"
Zoe had to gather herself and stop her crying just enough to speak coherently. "I-It was her, Teddy. I swear, I didn't kill him. I shot but, I missed him. I swear, I didn't hurt him."
"Alright.." Teddy sighed, feeling an immense pressure flee his chest. "You didn't kill him. That's good. You can't get in trouble if you didn't do it, Zo. You're okay."
"But I shot at him, Teddy!" Zoe cried, gesturing so quickly with her hand that she splashed water out of the tub. "She kept yelling at me to do it and do it and do it so, I shot! And then he died ten seconds later when she shot him! It's the same thing! It might as well have been me!"
"But, it wasn't you, Zoe!" Teddy argued as he began walking along the brick wall of the school, pacing to work off the building stress. He was too restless to stand still. Plus, Zoe's sobbing was making his joints and his chest ache. "Listen to me, Zo, Alright?"
"I'm listening.." Zoe sniffled as she calmed.
"You didn't kill him, okay? You didn't hurt him. Who cares if you shot at him? Your mother wanted him dead so, he was going to be dead whether you did it or not. Okay? It wasn't you. This isn't your fault. Your mother was just trying to manipulate you, for whatever reason. I promise you, Zoe. There is no blood on your hands." Teddy frantically ranted.
Teddy knew Zoe. Or, at least, he thought he did. Either way, he knew something like this would stick with Zoe and convince her that she was a monster if she let it. Zoe wanted to be perfect. Even when she wanted to rebel, she still wanted to be a good person. If Zoe let this eat away at her then, it would, and she would break. Now, all Teddy wanted to do was convince Zoe that she did nothing wrong and save her from the guilt. The fact that she was so far away from him while he was trying to comfort her made him very, very anxious, though.
"Do you really think he wouldn't have died if you didn't shoot?" Teddy asked, causing Zoe to hum in disagreeable as she shook her head, still trying to hold in her cries. "Exactly. That man was dead, Zoe. It's unfortunate and it's not fair but it is not your fault, Zoe. I promise you."
Zoe took slow, staggering breaths as she tried to calm down. She couldn't stop remembering the feeling of her mother's finger over hers, forcing her to shoot. She couldn't stop remembering the sound of her mothers voice as she barked so angrily at her to make her shoot. Zoe didn't want to do any of this. She never wanted any of this. All Zoe wanted to do was go home and be with Teddy and be a normal high school student like all those kids in those cheesy high school movies.
"I want to go home." Zoe weakly cried. "I want to go back to class, talk with my friends at their lockers, cheer at football games, sit in the library with you again.."
Teddy's frantic steps slowed to a stop as he stared at his footprints in the snow. His head flooded with moments in the library with Zoe. When he found her crying, when she faked being asleep in his seat, when she smiled obnoxiously big and he pinched her nose, when she talked on the phone at a mile a minute, when she actually fell asleep and he just got to sit in her silent, beautiful presence. Suddenly, Teddy wanted her to come back too. Very, very badly. More than anything.
"Then, come home, Zoe." Teddy softly insisted.
"I tried!" Zoe exclaimed as she sat up in the tub, causing the water to crash and begin a gentle wave pattern. "That's how she convinced me to shoot in the first place! She said I could go home and I wanted to go home so, so badly, Teddy. I just want to go home. That's all I want.."
"Then, try again, Zo. Just don't shoot at anybody this time, alright? We're patience over here. We can wait for you to find a better way home."
Zoe couldn't help but crack a smile through her hot tears as she found the irony in that statement. "Wait for me? I thought you specifically said you weren't going to do that, Teddy."
Teddy rolled his eyes as he gently hit his fist against the brick wall beside him, converting all of his energy into trying not to smile. "I didn't say I, now did I, Bozo?" Teddy scoffed. "I said we."
"Right.. we." Zoe sighed as she rested her chin on her bent knees, since they stuck out above the waterline in the tub. Her eyes fell shut as she tried to regulate her breathing and her heart rate. "I really miss you guys."
Teddy opened his palm so his fingers could lay over the cold brick, his eyes landing on his feet as he gently kicked the toe of his shoe into the wall. "Everyone around here misses you too, Bozo. Kind of feels like everyone's going crazy, actually."
"Crazy? How?" Zoe whispered, a stray tear rolling down her cheek, off her chin, and into the water.
Teddy could answer that question by spilling all of the tea to Zoe but, he didn't want to worry her or stress her out any further. He could tell her about Brett switching from the defense team to the offensive team in his relationship Howl but, Teddy didn't want Zoe to worry. He also didn't want her to worry about the fact that Chuck was basically losing his mind since he didn't know where she was or what she was doing. Joseph and Jennie were obviously going insane too but, that was a whole different can of worms that he wasn't ready to open yet.
"I don't know. Everyone's just weird.." Teddy awkwardly muttered. "Probably because everyone was so focused on you while you were here, and now that you're not, the usual drama has resurfaced again.."
"I hope you're surviving alright, then. And I hope you've taken my advise to let up on smoking. You've got a niece and nephew that expect you to be healthy and alive for a very long time, you know." Zoe warned.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah.." Teddy bitterly muttered, annoyed by the fact that Zoe had a point. He didn't like to be guilted into things, though. "Don't worry. I've thought of that. I've just been really anxious lately so, it's hard"
Zoe nodded in silence as she let the comfort of this moment soak in for a moment. It had been awhile since she got to talk to Teddy, which was all she ever wanted to do. Talking to Teddy was so easy and natural and comfortable. After being ignored by him so many times in the library, she had eventually learned how to lure him into a full conversation and she could tell it was working now. He was being so genuine and casual and comfortable with her. She liked it. He didn't feel so guarded and irritated.
"Still talking about Mr. Peterson about college?" Zoe softly asked after a moment of silence between them.
Teddy's eyebrows slightly perked up at that question. He didn't actually expect Zoe to remember that he was talking to Mr. Peterson about his college options and plans. He had only actually mentioned it passing a few times. That really did show just how much Zoe was invested in Teddy, which made him feel kind of good. For a very, very long time, the people around here didn't care about Teddy. His own father didn't even care about that kind of thing. However, time and time again, Zoe proved that she cared.
"Uh.. Yep. It's a new trimester so we've been talking about my classes and how they'll prepare me for the things I want to achieve moving forward." Teddy explained.
"Like becoming a millionaire tycoon and destroying the small empire Ezra's built?" Zoe asked, the tone in her voice sounding a bit sharp.
Teddy gulped and rubbed his forehead and his lips as the nerves inside him began to rattle again. "Yeah.. I guess so. Something like that.."
Zoe was silent as she recalled the conversation she had with Teddy on his birthday. He wanted to be rich and he wanted to hurt Ezra. Two of those sounded very, very familiar. Zoe couldn't help but wonder if she had chosen to devote herself to Teddy because, subconsciously, he was like her parents. It wasn't like she knew about his future before she started to like him. She just didn't have very good luck, it seemed. Maybe this was a life she just couldn't escape.
"Teddy..?" Zoe whispered and Teddy hummed in response, to let her know he was listening and she could continue. "If I.. took care of Ezra, myself... what would you want then?"
There was nothing but silence as Teddy stared at the snowy fields surrounding him and Zoe stared at the gentle ripples in her bath. Teddy had specially texted Zoe to forget about Ezra so she would stay safe but, she never responded to him after that. Maybe he text her too late and she hadn't seen it. Either way, Teddy's wish stayed the same. He didn't want Zoe anywhere a man like that. He didn't want her in the world she was in because she wasn't safe there. It wasn't good for her. He just wanted her to come home.
"You've done enough, Zoe. I don't want you going anywhere near him. Ezra is not your responsibility." Teddy firmly declared, ignoring the aggressive thumping of his heart in his chest. "Promise me you won't get involved with Ezra anymore."
Zoe was silent. The longer she was silent, the more anxious Teddy got. His jaw was clenching, his toes were wiggling in his shoes, and his fists balled up at his sides.
"You didn't answer my question." Zoe whispered. "What do you see for yourself, in the future, if you don't have to worry about Ezra?"
"Zoe-"
"Answer it, Teddy."
Teddy turned towards the brick wall again and gently pounded his fist against it as he attempted to push down his anger. Zoe was just sobbing uncontrollably because her mother had just shot and killed an intern. Why would she think she could take care of Ezra? Why did she think she should? Just because she didn't want him to do it? What did it matter? It wasn't like him and Zoe were planning a future together. Zoe would be long gone and totally oblivious to Teddy's existence before he ever got to Ezra. What the hell was going through her head?
"I don't know what I would do, Zoe." Teddy anxiously blurted. "If I didn't have to worry about Ezra, I would just focus on Carmen and Bailey and Malik, okay? My family. They're all I've ever wanted, Zoe."
Zoe nodded to herself. That was a very vague answer but, it sounded nice. She could already see images of Teddy spending his days teaching Bailey and Malik how to ride a bike and sending them off to school in the morning and watching them grow up. Zoe didn't want Teddy to wait and do all of those things until he destroyed Ezra. It was just easier if she did it herself. Besides, his plan couldn't start until years and years from now. She could take care of Ezra now. She had the resources right at her fingertips.
"Zoe." Teddy called into the phone, desperate for Zoe to say something. Anything. She was totally freaking him out.
"Hm?" Zoe hummed.
"Promise me you won't do anything, Zoe." Teddy demanded.
"Maybe this is just one of those things we don't talk about.." Zoe sadly suggested as she hugged her knees to her chest.
"Zoe-"
"I have to go. I'm very tired and have to be up early tomorrow." Zoe interjected before Teddy could start demanding promises again.
"Zoe-" Teddy spoke with a bit more urgency but she still talked over him.
"I'll be home soon, Teddy. Tell Carmen and the kids to expect presents. I might've been shopping recently." Zoe forced a calm and comfortable facade as she smiled to herself.
Teddy gulped down all of his frustration and anxiety as his eyes fell shut and he took a deep breath in and out. "Fine. At least, be safe, Zoe. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Teddy." Zoe solemnly whispered before she hung up and let her forehead gently hit her knees.
-
Teddy's mind was so full of overwhelming thoughts that he had zoned out countless times since talking to Zoe. He couldn't picture Zoe with a gun in her hand. He wondered why her mother would force her to hold one and fire it at someone. What was she trying to do with Zoe? Train her? Punish her? Manipulate her? How could Zoe have the parents she had and still be alive and sane at this age? With all the emotional trauma she's probably been through and the things she's seen, Teddy would've imagined she'd be suicidal or something.
Obviously, Zoe wasn't happy, even if she tried to appear as though she was, but she was so sweet and innocent that stuff like this had to cut pretty deep into her mental health, he imagined. Teddy couldn't help but wonder if Zoe had frequent nightmares. She didn't seem to have intense anxiety problems or panic attacks but, there had to be something Teddy wasn't seeing. You couldn't just grow up in that environment and laugh and play everyday like Zoe did. Teddy had only heard stories about the Yang's and was only once punished by them and even he was freaking out.
If Zoe was going to take care of Ezra, would she shoot him? She was obviously traumatized by what happened but, with the way she spoke to Teddy about him, he couldn't be sure that she wouldn't. If Rin was training Zoe to be able to shoot and kill someone, maybe Zoe was trying to apply that to something. Or, better yet, someone. Teddy just couldn't imagine Zoe pointing a gun at Ezra and killing him. Teddy pictured himself doing it a thousand times but he was incapable of imaging Zoe like some sort of ruthless gangster.
Teddy wondered if Carmen would be upset if either him or Zoe took care of Ezra. That man was the devil incarnated but, he was also the father of Carmen's children. That was pretty much his own amount of value on their family. Teddy didn't picture Carmen cheering about him being dead or anything. That definitely wasn't her style. She was more mature and respectful than that. But, after five years of constant abuse, Carmen wouldn't shed a tear for that monster. Right? Not after everything he's done..
"Uncle Teddy, look!" Bailey excitedly exclaimed as her stomach collided with the edge of the couch and she reached out her arms to show off her drawing.
Teddy pulled himself out of his thoughts to look at Bailey's picture and audibly admire it, for her sake. She climbed on to the couch to point at the different animals she drew, which kind of all looked the same. They were round with stick legs, the only real distinction between them being their ears and crudely colored in bodies. Teddy still praised her and entertained her babbling for awhile since Carmen was making dinner in the kitchen. Bailey's favorite thing to do was draw pictures so, this show-and-tell routine was a regular occurrence.
"Can I draw Auntie too?" Bailey asked, kicking her short feet against the edge of the couch as she pointed to her other drawings on the big coffee table.
"Auntie? Auntie who?" Teddy furrowed his eyebrows at his niece as he fixed a few of her messy braids.
"Auntie Zoe!" Bailey happily giggled.
Teddy's furrowed eyebrows raised in shock as he processed Bailey's excited exclamation. He had never heard Bailey call Zoe her auntie before and didn't know how she would know to put two and two together if Zoe wasn't her actual auntie. Nevertheless, a smile tugged at the corner of Teddy's lips as he thought about it. Maybe Bailey thought him and Zoe were a couple, which would actually make Zoe her aunt. Or maybe she just liked Zoe so much that she wanted to call her that. It didn't really matter. It was cute either way.
"Of course, you can. I think Auntie Zoe would be very happy if you drew a picture of her." Teddy smiled.
Bailey snatched her picture of animals back from Teddy and placed it with all of her others before she pulled out another piece of paper and began drawing. Teddy leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees, as he watched over Bailey's shoulder to see what she would draw. Bailey tried to keep her hand as still as possible to draw clean lines and she even gripped the crayon super tight to keep it from slipping, which was very adorable. Teddy only got to watch Bailey draw a light blue, crudely shaped, Cinderella dress before Carmen called for Teddy's help.
Teddy pushed off of the couch and hurried into the kitchen to help Carmen.
"If I put Malik down, he's just going to scream-" Carmen frustratedly growled, pausing only to lick food off her finger and point at the stove. "So, can you please strain that pasta, take the shrimp off the stove, and serve our plates? I'm gonna grab Bailey and Malik's dinner while you do that."
Teddy wasn't super excited about being put to work but, he understood Carmen couldn't do everything so, he didn't complain. Carmen had Malik sitting on her hip so she really only had one hand to work with anyways. Teddy, however, could easily serve his and Carmen's plates while Carmen struggled to deal with Malik's meal. Bailey got a plate of cut up chicken but she had steamed veggies mixed in with it. Bailey didn't like the veggies but she would eat more of them than Malik would even dare to.
"Carmen." Teddy spoke up as he poured sauce over both his and Carmen's plates. They both looked up at each other from either side of the kitchen island, and Teddy took that as his cue to continue. "Did you teach Bailey to call Zoe her Auntie?"
Carmen smirked and shrugged as she looked back down at the veggies she was sprinkling over Bailey's chicken. "Yes. Why? Did it catch you by surprise?"
"Yeah, actually." Teddy chuckled and picked up the plates he prepared to carry them to the dining table.
Carmen watched her brother walk off, noting the smile on his face and narrowing her eyes at him. "And yet, you're not yelling about how ridiculous I am to teach her that? I figured you would have a cow about something like that."
"I probably would've a few weeks or months ago but..." Teddy set down each plate at different seats and turned back to Carmen. "I'll let it slide since, the only reason you are even here is because of Zoe. If she wants to be Bailey's aunt, that's fine. She's earned it at this point."
"Are you saying Zoe has to earn her way into your life?" Carmen challenged, meaning it in a bit of a playful way but not wanting to reveal that, just to see how Teddy would react.
"No.. I just mean-"
"I think Zoe has been through enough at this point, Teddy. You shouldn't be putting her through your trials just so she can be accepted by you." Carmen pushed, fighting a smirk the whole time.
"Carmen!" Teddy blurted with wide eyes, fully offended by Carmen's rambling. His heart was suddenly racing against his thoughts as he began to spiral into a panic.
Zoe already had to earn her parents affection and Teddy didn't want Zoe to think of him like that. The second Carmen put that thought in his head, he started freaking out. Zoe's mother just put a gun in her hand and forced Zoe to shoot at someone just to make her a proud mother and Zoe hated it but, she did it. Teddy didn't want Zoe to go such lengths to earn his affection. He never ever meant for Zoe to earn anything from him. When he pushed her away, it wasn't because she wasn't trying hard enough.
Teddy wasn't even pushing her away anymore but, did Zoe even realize that? Before Zoe left, Teddy was still cold to her. Besides, the kiss. Teddy wouldn't be cold like that anymore, though. He didn't want Zoe to think that she had to earn Teddy. Not after she has tried so hard to earn love and respect from everyone else. They were even. They were equal. They were friends. Zoe tried to wiggle her way into Teddy's life and she did it. He wouldn't be cold to her, he wouldn't demand things from her, he wouldn't do her wrong anymore.
Unless... Zoe was going after Ezra to earn something from Teddy.
That very thought made his stomach churn in the worse possible way. Ezra was not Zoe's responsibly. Taking care of him was not how she was going to receive Teddy's affection. If that's what she thought was going to happen, Teddy didn't know what to do. Zoe didn't have to earn his affection. If she wanted a pat on the head or a hug or she wanted to be kissed, Teddy would sure as hell do for her. She didn't have to put herself in danger by getting involved with Ezra just for Teddy to be kind to her. He hoped she knew that much.
"Zoe doesn't have to earn anything from me. She never has. If anything, I was suppose to earn everything she's done for me and now I owe her." Teddy confidently declared, his eyes glued to Carmen's the entire time he spoke.
Carmen wanted to retract her statements and claim she was joking but, after hearing Teddy speak so passionately about Zoe, she decided against it. Teddy was finally coming to his senses. He finally saw what everyone else saw in Zoe and, because he knows her so much better than everyone else, he saw beyond what they saw. Zoe was always trying to earn her place in the working world and the social world and even in her parents world. What she had and what she wanted with Teddy didn't have to be earned, it was unconditional.
"Alright." Carmen smugly smirked as she picked up Malik's plate and carried him and his food to the table. "I trust you'll pay up and make things right then."
Teddy stared at his sister but his thoughts were still occupied by Zoe. Everything Carmen and Howl were telling him was all swirling around in his head and giving him a clear message that he just couldn't put into words. All he could think about was the fact that there shouldn't be anymore games in his and Zoe's relationship. No more push and pull. No more pointless jabs. Teddy had to be honest with Zoe and himself and just accept the fact that she meant something to him now. She had a place right beside him and it would always be hers because, he would always be right beside her too.
"Bailey! Dinner's ready!" Carmen yelled from the dining table as she sat down and positioned Malik in her lap. "Teddy, would you grab Bailey's food off the counter, please?"
Teddy nodded and walked back to the kitchen island to grab Bailey's plate, watching as Bailey set her crayons down and ran clumsily into the kitchen. "Did you finish your drawing of Auntie Zoe?" Teddy asked as Bailey ran by.
"No! It's not done yet!" Bailey yelled as she attempted to climb into her high chair at the dining table. "I want to make it pretty. Like Auntie Zoe."
Teddy snorted a laugh and placed her food in front of her chair before he helped her into her seat. He found it hard to come up with some kind of snarky comeback to that claim. There was definitely an urge within him to joke about the fact that he didn't find Zoe pretty but, he never said it aloud because he knew it wasn't true. Zoe was pretty. Very pretty. Even when she didn't have make up on and wasn't wearing expensive clothes and was wearing her glasses, Zoe was still naturally beautiful.
After dinner, Carmen let Bailey finish her drawing as she bathed Malik and got him ready for bed. Teddy stayed in the living room and watched over her shoulder as Bailey scribbled in more and more details on Zoe's stick figure. Bailey tried to add as many crudely drawn flowers on to Zoe's blue dress as she could and colored Zoe's blonde hair in a pile on her head. She even added a crown with a black crayon, since she didn't know how to draw diamonds on a white sheet of paper. Which also meant that all of the diamonds on Zoe's dress and the sparkles surrounding her were just a bunch of black dots.
When Bailey was done with her picture, she ran to the fridge and used a magnetic alphabet letter to hold the picture on the fridge. Teddy praised Bailey for her hard work and scooped her up to bring her upstairs. Carmen had just enough time to put Malik to sleep while Teddy helped Bailey dress for bed and brush her teeth. He could then pass her off to Carmen and get ready for bed, himself. Having the kids in the house always made the days feel long since their routines were so tedious, which made Teddy extra tired nowadays.
"Hey!" Carmen barked as she threw open the door to the bedroom that Teddy had claimed. Teddy Was sat at the edge of his bed with his shirt halfway off his body. He only paused for a moment before he pulled his shirt the rest of the way off his head to look at Carmen in his doorway. "Did you do your homework today?"
Teddy scoffed and tossed his shirt to the other side of the bed. "Yes, Mom. I did my homework."
"I didn't see you do it. You came home for twenty minutes after school, went to work, came back and, ate dinner." Carmen pressed.
"I did it before I left for work. Don't worry."
"In twenty minutes?"
"Yes!" Teddy frustratedly exclaimed but still smiled with amusement. "Do you want me to prove to you that it's all done or what?"
"No. I'm just making sure." Carmen's eyes shifted to the rest of Teddy's room. She didn't like how most of his clothes were still in his duffle bag and scattered in front of the dresser across the room. "You should put your clothes away. They shouldn't be in that duffle bag anymore."
"Oh my god. Goodnight, Carmen." Teddy laughed.
"Good night, Teddy. Love you." Carmen smiled before she pulled Teddy's door shut.
"Love you too."
Almost every night, Teddy wondered how long him and Carmen and the kids would stay in this house. If Zoe wasn't coming back and Ezra didn't threaten Carmen to come home, would Carmen buy the house? If Zoe did come back, would they all still live in the same house together? Teddy figured that could be a bit awkward, but maybe it could be fun too. Worse case scenario was Carmen and the kids getting kidnapped by her husband and Zoe never coming back, which would send Teddy all the way back to the beginning of this story.
Alone and miserable.
It was really fun to live with Carmen and the kids. Teddy got to see the kids everyday between school and work and then at dinner. He got to help Carmen take care of them, which was a whole job in itself. Teddy hadn't been lonely in weeks. He hadn't been sad in weeks. He always had someone to talk to without any inhibition and he had two living plushies he got to hug and squeeze whenever he wanted. He had a family and a home and it was everything he ever wanted. All thanks to Zoe.
Teddy just didn't know how to thank Zoe. He imagined she would ask for a kiss as a thank you and that made Teddy smile to himself. When he pictured her staring up at him with those big, brown eyes and an innocent smile on her face, Teddy imagined it would be hard to refute her request. She would probably be embarrassingly excited as Teddy gently placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up so he could more easily place his lips on hers. She would probably ask for more too, which would eventually have them rolling around on the floor again.
The moment that thought popped into Teddy's head, his eyes slightly widened and his heart thumped a big harder against his chest. Every so often, his thoughts would get away from him like that and he would end up thinking things. The last time he zoned out like that and just started daydreaming, he was on top of Zoe and couching her legs apart so he could lay between them, their lips hungrily trying to devour the other and hands basically clawing at each other. They were both fully clothed but Teddy knew that wouldn't be true for very long if he didn't stop his imagination there.
That was earlier today. In the middle of his Human Geology class.
Teddy simply rationalized all of these horribly perverted thoughts to himself by claiming it was all sexual frustration. He was still a virgin, after all. The closest he ever got with a woman was with Kim and he didn't even follow through with that. And now, with a pretty girl constantly on his mind, he felt it was inevitable that his imagination occasionally ran wild. He was a teenage boy with raging hormones. He couldn't help it if his body wanted Zoe's body. He wasn't ever going to let that happen, though. He just had to settle with the fact that he had to deal with these hormones on his own.
*slight smut content ahead.. beware..*
Every time this happened, Teddy tried not to think about Zoe but, it was very hard. No pun intended. He tried not to imagine Zoe's hand where his was as he pulled out his growing erection. He tried not to imagine her kneeling in front of him with her big, brown eyes staring so innocently up at him but, that was all he could see. And the longer she was there, like that, more provocative she became. Suddenly, Zoe's mouth was open as she stared up at him with that lewd innocence swirling in her eyes, silently requesting him to place his erection in her mouth so she could taste him.
"Please, Teddy.." Zoe's voice seductively whispered in his head, sending a shiver up and down his shine.
The imagery was beautiful and tempting and had Teddy growing more and more hard by the second, but he hated doing this to Zoe. He hated using her beauty and his attraction to said beauty to fulfill his own, perverted fantasies. The only thing that could get Zoe out of that position, in his head, was to grab her arm to lift her off the ground. In one swift motion, though, Zoe hopped onto Teddy's lap and wrapped her arms and legs around him before she easily captured him in a heated, overly-passionate kiss.
That wasn't any better. He was no longer just turned on by his imaginary version of Zoe but now, he was hungry for her.
Every time he stroked his hand up and down his hard length, his hips slightly twitched and he used his free hand to grip the blankets beside him to keep himself still and restrained. He let his imagination run wild, for now, since he just wanted to cum and get this over with. Luckily, there was no shortage of lewd thoughts he had of Zoe. The second he closed his eyes, Zoe was back in his lap as he sat at the edge of the bed and she was kissing his neck and gently dragging her acrylic nails up his back and completely devouring his every thought.
"You're mine~" Teddy imagined Zoe whispering in his ear as her nails glided over his shoulders and down his front.
The phantom sensation of Zoe's touch over his skin and her breath brushing his ear made Teddy fight a moan. He couldn't feel her but he wanted her so badly that he almost thought he could. As he let his imaginary version of her touch his body and kiss him wherever she liked, he could almost feel the ends of her blonde locks brush against him. It would be better if he had a physically version of Zoe here so he could actually see her clearly and feel her weight in his lap and the warmth and softness of her skin.
Teddy may not have a lot of experience within the realm of sex, but he knew what it felt like to kiss Zoe so, he kissed her in his imagination. He desperately gripped her thigh like he did when they made out on her bedroom floor, but now, he was doing it because it felt so good when she ground her hips into his. The feeling of her arms wrapping around his neck as they kissed was still fresh in his mind and he used that memory to make imaginary Zoe pull him impossibly closer as she hungrily bit at his bottom lip and moaned into his mouth.
"I'm yours too, Teddy.. I'm all yours~" Zoe whispered again. The very thought of Zoe saying those words to him made Teddy tremble and squirm as he felt his orgasm violently approaching.
Seconds later, Teddy was fighting back curses and coming into his free hand with a blissful and very powerful orgasm. He still stroked his hard, throbbing length a few more times as he rode out the pleasure swirling in the deepest part of his gut. When Teddy got all of the pleasure he could from his orgasm, he let out a defeated sigh and let his eyes fall shut again. To cleanse himself of that lewd moment he was just having with imagery Zoe, he made that version of her unravel her limbs from his body and climb off his lap so she could disappear from his thoughts.
He despised himself. Every single time this happened, he loathed his own existence.
It was fun and exciting and it felt so good while he was doing it but, the second the fantasy was over, Teddy felt nothing but guilt. Every guy in their school probably used Zoe for jerk off material and he always swore that he wouldn't do it but, eventually, he always lost control. Teddy respected Zoe. He didn't just see her as a piece of meat like all the other guys and he didn't mean to use her for his own pleasure. He felt so gross for behaving like this. Zoe would probably be so disgusted if she knew Teddy was like this.
Teddy pestered himself like that the entire time he cleaned up. As he washed his hands, he shook his head in shame and disappointment. He splashed water in his face in an attempt to cleanse his thoughts of sex and Zoe. While even brushing his teeth, Teddy stared at himself in the mirror and talked himself through his own insanity.
In a brief flash of lust, Teddy could see Zoe peek her head out from behind him in the mirror as she shyly wrapped her arms around his middle. Teddy instantly flinched, surprised by his own imagination, and accidentally threw himself against the wall beside him as he tried to escape Zoe's embrace. When Teddy realized Zoe wasn't actually here, he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall as he continued to brush his teeth. He felt like he was going insane. He was so used to her being here but wasn't used to having sex with her so, his brain was very, very confused.
After a few deep breaths, though. Teddy felt like his nerves had calmed. He wasn't hungry for Zoe anymore. He got it out of his system. Maybe he could actually think straight now.
See? You're fine now. Teddy rambled on and on to himself. You were just sexually frustrated and now you're not. You don't want Zoe like that. It's just physical. You got it out of your system and now you're back to normal. It's only because she's pretty and nice and clingy that those thoughts get put in your head. It's all pitiful temptations. Don't fall into temptation.
Teddy shut up for a moment to spit into the sink and wash out the toothpaste from his mouth before he stood up straight again. He set his toothbrush down on the counter as he stared into the mirror at his pitch black eyes. He couldn't help but to scowl at his own reflection. There was nothing he could say to make himself feel better about what he just did.
You're a terrible person. Teddy scolded himself as he balled up his fists on the counter. Zoe doesn't deserve to be your mental sex toy, you fucking pervert. No more sexy daydreaming. Treat her with respect for once. And, figured your shit out before you accidentally hurt her. No more lies and rumors and petty bullshit. Just... be good to her for once. That's what she deserves and the least you could do.
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