" I like that you're broken, broken like me. Maybe that makes me a fool.
I like that you're lonely, lonely like me. I could be lonely with you. "

~

Monday night, after Zoe's weekend of dealing with her disappointed parents and doing some damage control between social media and otherwise, Zoe returned to Ohio. Tuesday morning, Zoe got ready for school and waited in front of her gate. She checked the time on her phone a couple times before she realized nobody was coming to walk to school with her. Wherever Vanessa was, Chuck, Jospeh, Jennie, any of them were, they weren't walking to school that day.

So, Zoe trudged down the sidewalk by herself in the cold morning air. When she arrived at school, people stared. They stared everyday but this was different. There were no stares of admiration or lust or jealousy. It was all different. Zoe could feel spite and disgust in the stares she was getting this morning. All she wanted to do was hurry and find her friends. Maybe Vanessa knew what was going on since she always knew everything around this school.

"Hey, Chuck.." Zoe nervously tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear as she leant against the locker beside Chucks. "Everybody is looking at me real weird today.. What happened around here while I was gone?"

Check stuffed his few textbooks in his locker, glanced at Zoe, and threw his backpack over his shoulders. "Can I ask you something?"

Zoe tried to read Chuck's stiff expression, beginning to wonder if he was upset. He was usually happy to see her when she came back to school after her spontaneous disappearances, but he wasn't reacting like that now.

"Sure.." Zoe shrugged.

"When you said all of this was your fault and you were to blame on that radio show, did you mean it?" Chuck asked, his jaw stiff, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes glued to Zoe.

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't have said it otherwise." Zoe sadly smiled. "I really regret ever starting drama between you and Teddy. It wasn't fair that you guys took so much of the fall for my mistake."

Chuck slowly nodded as he took in Zoe's confessions. He cared a lot about Zoe and didn't want to be mad at her, but as he let his mind wonder all weekend, he just got more and more upset. People kept pointing things out to him that pissed him off. Just like that radio show. Why had she defended Teddy during the fight and not him? Why did she just give up when the internet pegged Chuck and Teddy as the bad guys? Because she was only being modest when she attempted to take the blame?

It was all bullshit. It made Chuck actually consider something that Teddy said, which he never did. Teddy never made good points. He was so pessimistic and crude, but Chuck couldn't help but think about what he said. Chuck was always going to get the short end of the stick with Zoe. This is why rich people dated rich people. They were on the same level. Nobody here was on Zoe's level. She was just going to screw everyone she crossed paths with around here.

"Are you friends with Teddy?" Chuck reluctantly asked. He didn't want to know but he needed to.

Zoe gulped, suspicious as to why he was asking. Chuck didn't like Teddy so, if she said yes to his question, would he be upset and disown her as his friend? She should say no, anyways. Teddy didn't consider her his friend. It would probably be deemed a lie if she said yes. Still, if Zoe wasn't going to lie to Teddy, she didn't want to lie about him either. There was no more room for error with Teddy, even if she had to sacrifice something good for the truth.

"I'm friends with him but I don't think he's friends with me.." Zoe awkwardly smiled and laughed.

Chuck's eyebrows furrowed even further as he attempted to figure out what that even meant. Zoe made no sense to him sometimes. It frustrated him. He thought they were friends and that they were close, but he really knew nothing about her. How was Teddy her friend? Why did she never tell anybody when she was leaving school to go work? Why did she always reject the idea of her friends going to her house? What was her deal?

"I really don't get you, Zoe.." Chuck groaned as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Are you upset with me..?" Zoe quietly asked.

"A little bit, Zo." Chuck looked up at Zoe again, getting even more upset at the fact that he could ever be angry with Zoe. She was too precious to him. "Did you know the entire internet thinks I'm a violent delinquent?"

Zoe's eyes fell to her feet. "I tried to defend you.. It's just really hard when-"

"When what, Zoe?" Chuck interrupted with a bit of venom on his tongue. Zoe stared at him with big, round, brown eyes. "When you don't want to jeopardize your reputation for others, even if they're close to you and completely innocent?"

"Chuck-"

"No! You know what, Zoe.." Chuck nearly snapped as he raised his hand to silence her. "I'm not even the one that started that fight! If you weren't so infatuated by that mutt, none of this would've happened!"

"I know that, Chuck! I know that and I'm sorry! But I'm telling you, I tried!" When Zoe realized she had raised her voice, she took a quick breath and flashed a sad smile. That forced smile was the only thing keeping her tears at bay. "You don't know what it's like, Chuck. I don't really have much of a say when it comes to this sort of thing.."

"You're right, Zoe. I don't know what it's like. How about we chill at your house, talk, watch a movie, and let all of this blow over." Chuck shrugged with a slight smile. He was testing her, but she didn't know that.

Zoe instantly grew awkward and rigid at Chuck's proposal as she tapped the tips of her fingers together. Inviting people over wasn't really Zoe's thing. It was basically her Achilles Heel when it came to friendships. She liked going over to their house and spending time with them out in the world, but she just didn't like them in her house. She didn't even like being in her house so why would she want other people in it?

"We could... go to your house.." Zoe muttered, her eyes down and posture uncomfortable.

Chuck found himself even more frustrated with Zoe than ever before. He was sick of how secretively and sneaky she was. Where did she always disappear to during lunch? Was she hanging out with Teddy? Why would she hang out with the one person in the school that he hated? Why did she never tell him when she was leaving the state? Why wouldn't she ever let her friends in her house? Did their friendship really mean nothing to her?

"I'm done, Zoe. I'm just.. I'm done." Chuck put his hands up in surrender as he began walking backwards and away from her. Zoe called out to him but he didn't care. "I don't know what's up with you, Zoe, but I really don't feel like I can trust you, and obviously, you don't trust me either."

Zoe was left in the middle of the hallway in shock as her classmates passed by all around her, every single one of them stealing long glances at her. Chuck really just decided that he didn't want to be friends with her anymore? That was it? Zoe could feel her heart clench in her chest as she thought about it. Chuck was her best friend. And Vanessa, and Joseph, Laura, the cheerleaders. Were they all done with her after this?

In a panic, Zoe rushed to find out. Unfortunately, Zoe couldn't find any of her close friends before class started. The first person she saw was Vanessa, during Mr. Zander's class. That was the first time she had seen Teddy as well. He didn't even notice her with his hood blocking his face and his headphones dangling from his ears. Zoe mentally reminded herself to talk to him later as she hurried to catch Vanessa before class started.

"Van, you're not upset with me too, are you?" Zoe begged as she followed Vanessa to her desk.

Vanessa cringed as she sat at her desk and shed her backpack. She made sure to whisper as she spoke. "I don't want to be upset with you, Zo. I mean, you've seen me with Abigail and she'd not really out yet so I don't want to jeopardize anything with her and-"

"Van! I would never do anything to mess with you and Abigail!" Zoe whispered as she hurried to sit beside her best friend. "Even if you hated me, I would never use that against you. I'm not a terrible person, Van. I swear. This whole situation just got out of control and-"

"I know, I know. It's all really messy.." Vanessa let out a long sigh. "I really love you, Zoe. You're the sweetest person I've ever met. But, when we were all talking, I couldn't help but feel like people were making really great points. I mean, it really is best for you to let Chuck and Teddy take the blame for all of this. I mean, they are the ones that were fighting. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean they should've went wild like that, but still, no matter what mistakes you make, I can't help but feel like other people are going to be taking the blame for it because you have fans and rich people on your side..."

Zoe slumped in her chair as she absorbed Vanessa's words. She was right. Zoe knew she was right. It just hurt to hear it aloud after Zoe had been fighting that truth all weekend. She didn't want her innocent friends to take the blame for all the things she did to screw everything up. It was just so hard to tear yourself down when you've spent your entire career trying your best to appear perfect. With money and fame, everyday people didn't get the same treatment and it sucked.

Now Zoe was going to lose all the people she ever cared about because she was trying so hard to be perfect.

"So... You all feel this way?" Zoe blinked away the tears in her eyes.

Vanessa shrugged with a sad smile. "Yeah.. I still want to be your friend, Zoe, I just don't want to be friends with Famous Zoe..."

Zoe anxiously scooted forward in her seat as she gripped Vanessa's arm. "I don't want you to be friends with Famous Zoe, either. Trust me, Van, I never wanted anything like this to happen."

"Okay.. Just, uhh, talk to the others, Zo. I don't want you to be uninvited to Stacy's Halloween party on Friday." Vanessa awkwardly laughed, as did Zoe.

Zoe didn't want to go back to June Dicken's private school. That hellhole was the last place she wanted to be. Besides, when she told her mother how much she liked it here, she meant it. She liked all her friends, even if she wasn't comfortable enough to invite them into her home. She almost felt normal here. She got to be a normal teenager with all her friends and still got to keep up her social media standing with cute photos and leave on weekends for gigs.

It was the best of both worlds.

She couldn't let all of that go now.

Unfortunately, Zoe's life seemed to be crumbling around her. Jennie used this whole situation to kick Zoe off the squad, right before the last football game of the season. She said she spoke for everyone when she said she felt personally exploited so Zoe could build on her fame and good name. That hurt, if Zoe had to admit it. Everybody else was beating around the bush with Zoe, obviously not wanting to get on her bad side so they didn't lose her friendship but also not wanting to get too close and risk social suicide.

Zoe, who once had a hundred best friends, now had a hundred close acquaintances. And it sucked.

During lunch, Zoe couldn't even run to Teddy. He wasn't in the library like he usually was. Zoe was so desperate that she walked around the school once more to get to the empty baseball fields where Howl and Teddy went to smoke. Neither of them were there. Now Zoe was hungry, alone, and stuck at a dead end. What was she suppose to do? Nobody had uninvited her from Stacy's Halloween party but she didn't see why she'd even go if nobody wanted to see or talk to her.

In the back of Zoe's mind, she felt like this was inevitable. She didn't get to cheer during their last football game and wouldn't get to cheer during the Basketball season. She didn't get to go to her first high school party because all her friends thought she had exploited them to look good. That's just what she got for sticking her nose where it didn't belong. She had nothing left now. That shouldn't be as shocking as it was to Zoe, but she was shocked...

~

Teddy swung his front door open, instantly shivering as the cold night air flooded into his home and gripped at his skin. The moment his eyes landed on Zoe, his eyes widened. She wasn't wearing anything to cover up from the cold, only sporting her silk pajama pants and camisole combination. She was even shaking, but Teddy couldn't figure out if that was because she was cold or crying. He figured it was safe to assume it was both by amount of mascara all over her face.

Zoe's bottom lip violently quivered and her soft brown eyes spilled over with tears. "I'm really sorry, Teddy!" Zoe cried and dropped her face into her hands.

Teddy was even more taken aback. He didn't know what to do when people cried around him. The only people he had seen cry were his own family members so he knew how to handle it. But this was different. This was very, very far out of Teddy's comfort zone. Usually, when Zoe cried, he just sat beside her and let her cry. But now she was coming to him with an apology and tears. What was he suppose to do now?

"I didn't know it would end up like this!" Zoe loudly cried, her shoulders bouncing with her violent sobs. He was even more shocked to see big teardrops dripping off her elbows. How her body contained that much liquid was beyond him. "Now everybody hates me! Literally everybody, Teddy! What am I suppose to do?"

Zoe's legs gave out on her as she sobbed. She sat crouched in front of Teddy's house with her face hidden in her hands and knees. Teddy simply leant against his doorway and folded his arms over his chest with a scowl on his face. Part of him, or most of him, just wanted to leave Zoe there and let her cry for awhile. He had no interest in welcoming her into his home or offering her any comfort.

In his opinion, he got the worse end of all of this. It was only because Zoe wasn't used to losing stuff that she was having a mental breakdown. She had never lost friends. Sure, there were people that didn't like her, but that happened no matter where she went, statistically speaking. Like Pepper. Zoe wasn't used to the feeling of loss. Teddy found it so ridiculous that he didn't even care that she was bawling her eyes out.

"I've been considering this thought all day, and you know what it is?" Teddy smirked to himself. Zoe looked up Teddy with glistening brown eyes that still had tears falling from them. "I think you're a huge, psycho, masochist?"

Zoe's eyes widened in shock. "What? Why would you think that?"

"Because, why else would you still be here? Everybody hates you so, go back to Los Angelos. Why else would you be at my door when you know damn well I'm not going to forgive you? You love to want things you can't have and whine about the things you do have just so you can cry everyday and get away with it." Teddy blatantly admitted with no tact or reservations.

Zoe's eyes dropped to the ground as she absorbed Teddy's claims. She understood why he would think that, but she didn't believe it was true. She wanted things to be easier. She really did. She didn't want to cry everyday. She didn't like hating her life and the people in it. That's why Zoe came here, because she thought things were going to be easier and she would be able to live a carefree life. It might seem like she was a masochist to Teddy, but she really hated this horrible feeling inside of her.

"You're wrong.." Zoe lowly muttered, not really wanting Teddy to hear. She didn't want to argue with him. She came to apologize, after all.

"What was that? Sorry, Bozo, I didn't hear you. Could you speak louder for me?" Even without looking up, Zoe could hear the smirk on Teddy's face.

Realizing Teddy was going to be nothing but hurtful, Zoe got up and marched through the alleyway to escape. She really couldn't handle anymore hatred after everybody, including herself, had spent the day doing exactly that. She came to Teddy to apologize, but if he didn't want her apology, she wasn't in the mood to try. It wasn't like she felt like apologizing to Teddy would help anything, but if he could forgive her, maybe she'd be alright.

The weirdest thing was, Teddy was shocked to see Zoe march away from him so quickly. Seeing Zoe actually hurt by something he said put a strange weight in his chest. Teddy never actually expected Zoe to just walk away. She didn't even have a spine to hold her up, so what gave her the courage to just up and leave? The thought actually made Teddy panic for a moment. She made him regret being mean in the first time in years and it pulled something strange out of him.

"I'm not done talking yet, Bozo!" Teddy anxiously jogged to catch Zoe before she stepped on to the sidewalk along the road beside Teddy's apartment. He caught her arm and pulled her back to keep her from fleeing so easily. "Why are you walking away from me?"

"Because you're being mean and I'm not in mood for it, Teddy. What do you expect me to do? Sit there and let you badmouth me and my friends without defending myself? That's exactly why I'm in this messed up situation in the first place!" Zoe angrily retorted as she shivered, more stray tears occasionally falling down her face.

"They're not your friends, Zoe! Holy fuck! How many times do I have to tell you that?" Teddy exclaimed so dramatically that Zoe jerked away from him, her arm successfully slipping out of his grip. She turned to leave again but Teddy wouldn't let that happen so easily. "Hey! I said I'm not done talking, Zoe!"

"I don't really care, Teddy. I just want to go home." Zoe stepped on to the sidewalk and Teddy felt that same panic shoot through his veins again.

"Home? To that big empty dungeon that you can't stand to be alone in?" Teddy yelled after her as he stepped on to sidewalk and followed Zoe up the hill.

"No! To Los Angelos!" Zoe barked without looking back.

"No, no, no, no!" Teddy rushed to jump in front of Zoe's path. "You're not going back to Los Angelos over this petty shit."

"Why not?" Zoe glared up at Teddy, more angry at him than she ever had been before. "You just told me to leave! I'm a masochist if I stay and actually try but I'm a quitter if I leave! What am I suppose to do?"

"Stay!" Teddy shouted.

There was a heavy silence that hung between them as the two stared at each other. Because Teddy had jumped in front of her on the sidewalk, he was even taller than her than usual. Somehow, Zoe didn't feel small, though. She wanted to stand up to Teddy. She wanted to yell at him and argue with him all night long just to get all of her frustration out. He was basically asking for it at this point.

Teddy was the first to speak up, his voice calm and low but chest heaving with obvious passion. "You're right, Zoe. If you leave, you're a quitter. You're pathetic. Because you know just as much as I do that all your friends are in love with you. They might be mad at you today but they'll all forget about it tomorrow. You've got them wrapped around your little finger. If you don't want them mad at you, don't let them be."

Zoe gulped as she tried to think. Teddy wasn't making any sense. Her hand ran violently through her messy blonde hair as she sighed. "I don't know what you mean, Teddy. How do I make them forgive me?"

Teddy snorted a single laugh, causing Zoe to look up at him in curiosity. "You know how I just said that I think you're a huge masochist? I also think you're a master manipulator. You lie to your friends on a daily basis and it never even phased them. Your relationship with your parents, your refusal to be alone in your house, when you disappear to Los Angelos without telling a soul. Why can't you just do it again? Lie. Tell them you tried to defend Chuck but your parents told you not to so you wouldn't jeopardize your career in Los Angelos."

Zoe's eyes fell again as she tightly hugged herself in an attempt to keep warm. She wiped stray tears from her cheeks as she spoke. "That's pretty on the nose, Teddy, but you wouldn't believe me if I said it now."

"I have to believe you. You already promised me." Zoe stole a glance as Teddy. "You promised you'd never lie to me."

It was Zoe's turned to snort a single laugh. Teddy was right. She didn't know why he believed her about that. How would he ever be sure that she wasn't lying? Would he really just blindly trust her and believe everything she told him? Part of her almost wished he wouldn't believe her so she could rant and rave without getting any judgement from Teddy, only disbelief. She could basically do that with her friends already.

"You need a sweatshirt. You're shivering like a sad, little Chihuahua." Teddy said before turning and heading back to the alleyway. He stopped at the few steps leading down to the alleyway and gestured for Zoe to follow. "Come on. You want to know about Carmen, don't you? And how to get your friends back? And why you're still trying to be my friend, despite knowing how much I can't stand you?"

Zoe rolled her eyes but scurried to catch up with him anyways. Teddy disappeared into his apartment and left Zoe to wipe the tears and mascara from her face as she waited. Luckily, it didn't take Teddy too long to come back. He shoved a sweatshirt over his head, with another hanging in his hand, as he shoved his feet into a pair of shoes. Teddy tossed the other sweatshirt to Zoe as he turned to quietly shut the door to his house.

Zoe definitely wanted to know about Carmen. Of course, she wanted to know. That's how all of this happened in the first place. But over the past couple of hours, she had accepted the fact that she didn't deserve to know. She screwed up her one chance. Teddy had no reason to trust her anymore, and that sucked for her to think about since she somehow trusted him still. By as he started heading in the direction of the river, Zoe realized just how serious he was.

They were going to talk. Like seriously, actually, literally going to talk.

"Don't sniff it, freak." Teddy grabbed the collar of his sweatshirt around Zoe and tugged it away from her face when he caught her in the act.

Zoe pouted as her brown eyes flickered up to his. "You smell good." She muttered.

Teddy snorted a simple laugh and shook his head. Zoe was so weird all the time. He expected her to be a cliche, but she had completely proven him wrong ever since she started talking to him. She wasn't as annoyingly preppy as she appeared to be. She dressed in expensive clothes, wore heels everyday, and had the brightest blonde hair he had ever seen. But she wasn't how she looked. She was a jumbled mess of someone trying to be a cliche and failing.

Zoe made gross jokes sometimes, she always laughed when Teddy said something purposely asshole-ish, and she didn't obsess over dumb pop culture stuff. She lived in the world of riches and fame but never talked about it unless she was struggling with something. She didn't brag, she wasn't an ungrateful and spoiled brat, nor did she even have a big ego. She was a normal teenage girl, she just happened to have money. Teddy hated to admitted but he wasn't going to force back the truth for his own bias.

That was probably the one reason why he let her stick around all the time. If Zo was truly the cliche that she tried so hard to be, he wouldn't even bother. But she was something different, and frankly, she didn't even know what that something was. Whenever she was, it was buried under years and years of putting up this act. Teddy was worried about ruining Zoe when she first approached him on the street that day. But now, he wanted to destroy this forced cliche and see what his underneath.

Zoe wasn't thinking about any of that as she focused on how soothingly calm and still it was tonight. Zoe liked it. The traffic on the bridge above the river was slow and quiet. Zoe could hear the river rushing past the rocks and down stream. She could hear the occasional airplane fly over head or car pass by on the street as they followed it down the river. Besides how cold it was, it was nice. The stars were out and the world was asleep. Zoe liked it like this.

As the two climbed down the big boulders to get to the river, Teddy made it down first and held out his hands to catch Zoe. She placed her hands on his shoulders as he grabbed her waist to lift her and gently slow her fall towards the ground. A major part of her wanted to smile and shyly giggle. She liked when Teddy helped her like this. Even if he was mad at her, he was still a gentleman. It made her heart flutter, which made her realize just how right Teddy might be.

She might really be masochist, having a crush on someone as brutally rude as him.

Teddy, on the other hand, was focused on marveling over Zoe's height. He usually saw her in heels. The only time she wasn't wearing heels was when she cheering, and he was never that close to her when she was in cheer mode because she was always with her cheer mates. But now, she was in slippers, and had never appeared this small before. It didn't help that she was drowning in his sweatshirt.

Before Teddy got too lost in thought, he took his hands off of Zoe and started walking towards the bridge. Zoe followed in silence and sat against the cement column with Teddy. It was a bit more familiar this time than the last time they sat here together. The unspoken agreement to enjoy each other's company without talking was still there but they both planned to break that agreement at some point.

Still, it took almost a half hour of silence before Teddy got the courage to reveal the most important details of his life to the girl sat beside him.

"Carmen used to joke about finding herself a sugar daddy all the time when we were kids." Zoe turned to Teddy as he stared at the river in front of him. She didn't say anything. Just listened. "Apparently, her and her friends had heard of sugar daddies that just needed photos of a girls feet and they'd pay thousands of dollars without ever meeting the girl.

Carmen wanted that. Mostly because we were poor our whole lives. My parents always scolded her for wanting a man just for his money and not having any motivation to work for herself. She didn't really care. She used to always be very superficial like that. She liked shiny things, expensive things, things that everybody else liked.

It wasn't until our mother got sick that Carmen really took that whole sugar daddy thing seriously. She was eighteen and graduating when our mom got sick, so while her friends were looking at colleges and applying for jobs, she was hunting for rich men that would mindlessly hand their women money. And it worked... She found someone..."

Zoe stared intently at Teddy as he revealed all of this to her. She listened to every single word he said and absorbed it all so she'd remember. The story was a bit light hearted now, but she could tell by the tone of Teddy's voice that it was quickly going to turn dark. Their mom was sick and Carmen had found a strange man with money. There was no way this would be a happy, light hearted story much longer. It wasn't like Teddy was laughing or smiling anyways.

"Our mom was sick with cancer. She wasn't a drug addict like everybody thinks. They got that idea when an aunt of mine gave me some pills to give my mother when I was hanging out with my cousins. The pills fell from my bag one day at school and I tried to tell everyone, even the teachers, that it was for my mother. But nobody knew how poor we were. My mother didn't want anybody to know.

She didn't want Carmen or I to get teased at school and she didn't want teachers to worry about us. So, she never told them about our financial struggles and she never told anyone that we now had a bunch of hospital bills to pay with the money we didn't have. She meant good by keeping it all a secret but it completely backfired when everyone thought I was lying about her condition to sneak drugs to or from her. It just got... messy, I guess."

"Did she ever try to prove it? That she had cancer?" Zoe reluctantly asked. She didn't want to speak up and have Teddy shut down, but she was too curious for her own good.

Teddy shook his head as he picked up a stone to play mindlessly with. "I never told her about any of it. She was still working, she was sick, and taking care of all of us. I felt too guilty to tell her that all of my classmates thought I was a delinquent liar.

And then she got sicker really, really quickly. Carmen would 'come home from work' with wads of cash every week and give it to my parents. They relentlessly chastised her about where she got her money. She lied to them a million times. She told them she worked with her friends at an ice cream shop, as a lifeguard at a water park, even told them she was just babysitting.

But they knew there was no way she could get that much money doing such simple things. They didn't push her about it too much because, well, we needed it. We needed all we could get. My mother broke down one night about it, claiming she was a bad mother for having her baby girl go out and get money in very suspicious and questionable ways.

Carmen swore that she wasn't doing anything bad and I even dared to put my two scents in, at the dumb age of twelve. 'If she comes home safe and unharmed, it's fine, right?'  I really wish I'd never said that. I just never knew, or expected, that the guy she'd end up with today would be so abusive.."

Zoe felt her heart ache. All of this was happening when Teddy was only twelve years old. And Carmen was in an abusive relationship? Had she been all this time or was she with a new guy? Either way, Zoe could understand how upset and protective Teddy got about his sister if she was being abused by some rich asshole even though she was purely trying to help her family. But, Zoe didn't say anything. She just let him talk as she rested her arms over her knees and her head on her arms.

"Fast forward a bit and our mother passes away. December twenty-eighth. Two-thirteen in the morning." Teddy informed, his eyes still glued to the stone traveling between his fingers.

Zoe's mouth fell agape. Two months from now and it would be the anniversary of Teddy's mothers death. Exactly five years ago.

"After the funeral, Carmen disappeared. For good this time. She left a note in my room that claimed she would continue to take care of our dad and I, just like she tried to take care of our mom. I think she thought she failed, that's why she left. She even skipped out before she could graduated. But, money was being sent to us in the mail and we had no way of contacting her. So... That's how we left it for awhile.

Unfortunately, that's when my father started to spiral out of control. Carmen was eighteen and trying to support her family so hard that she disappeared in order to do that. Our mother died because we were poor and couldn't get her good enough treatment. I only then turned thirteen, before she died. I had nothing to offer. My father, as the head of the household and the provider of the family felt like he had failed us as well.

He started drinking a lot. I figured it was fine. He had lost his wife and his daughter. At thirteen, even I wished I was drinking. But, it just got worse and worse. The food we used to have in the kitchen was being replaced with alcohol. I had to take a portion out of the money Carmen sent us to feed myself at school because I didn't want to bug my father about it.

And then he lost his job, then his car, and then the apartment we were living in. So, we came here. That little apartment in the alleyway behind a Chinese food place. That's been our home ever since. My father has been a horrid drunk ever since. Carmen has been sending us as much as she can ever since. When my mom died, our family fell apart in more ways than one. We all lost her and we lost part of ourselves as well.

It's unfortunate that I can say I came out pretty alright compared to the other three. My mother's dead, Carmen is surviving in her own universe, and my father can't keep himself sober enough to not piss in the very recliner he sits in all day and night. I work, I study, I take care of myself. So, long story short, when people want to talk shit about my sister being sold to a man for drugs, or my mother being an addict, or my father or I being abusive, it sucks."

Teddy finally turned his eyes to Zoe, who was staring at him so intensely that he was almost taken by surprise. He stared right back at her though, his expression and body language tense. It felt weird to get all of that off his chest. Nobody knew about any of this. And Teddy, who was always searching for the logical explanation of things, couldn't help but obsess over the fact that he had exposed all of this to Zoe. And on purpose. Why?

The weight off his shoulders was both relieving and terrifying, because now, he was handing that weight to someone else. And after seeing his family tear themselves apart for not being able to help, it worried him to put that pressure on another person. Especially, someone like Zoe. Who knows what Zoe would do to help. He didn't even want her help. Ideally, he wanted her to hear that story and understand why he never wanted to be bothered by another person ever again.

"Do you get it now? You know the story. The real story." Teddy emphasized to Zoe. "I don't want you spreading it to others. I don't want you to pity me. I don't want any charity. I don't want anything but for the world to leave me alone, alright, Zoe?"

Zoe carefully studied Teddy and absorbed all his claims. She used to say the same thing. That she didn't want anybodies help and that she could do all of this on her own. Her own personality went against her on those wishes. She was the type of person that wanted help, that wanted attention, that craved love and affection for another human being. Even if she thought she could do it alone, she couldn't.

Was Teddy the same way? Saying one thing but wanting another.

"Okay. I won't tell anybody anything. I won't pity you. I won't treat you like charity.." Zoe stuck her hand out Teddy's big sweatshirt sleeve as she held her pinky out towards him. "I promise."

Teddy snorted a stiff laugh, not at all surprised that Zoe was attempting a pinky promise. She really was a child. But, it was her very innocence that compelled him to reach his own pinky out and link it with hers. Even if Zoe was a huge, fumbling idiot, she meant well. Besides, she lied to people all the time about what was real and fake in her life. Teddy had a little faith that she could do the same for his.

"But I'm not gonna leave you alone." Zoe suddenly declared.

Teddy's lighthearted expression instantly flipped as he tore his hand from Zoe's. She was so close to actually being cool for once, and then she had to go and be an obnoxious brat again. Teddy groaned in frustration and threw himself back against the cement pillar, his eyes closing as he tried not to get too riled up. If she pushed too hard, he could easily bring this whole fight thing up again just to guilt her into finally leaving him alone. He still had that tucked away under his sleeve.

The fact that Zoe was consciously deciding not to leave him alone was undeniable proof that she wasn't listening to him. And he thought she was. He didn't want her around, just like he didn't want any of the other morons around. Everyone had betrayed him, even Zoe. All he wanted to do was finally graduate and run. Why couldn't he just be left alone until then? Teddy was afraid that, since he now told her everything, she thought that meant they were officially friends.

Again, the air was filled with silence as the two sunk into deep thought. Zoe's mind went on a trip through imaginary memories that Teddy must hold. She imagined what it must've been like for him to be so young and watching his family tear themselves apart at the seams. She wondered how he handled Carmen's disappearance. He had lost another family member after his mother's death. Did he cry when Carmen left too? How did he feel about his father?

Zoe wondered if she could share something with Teddy in exchange for his life story. Was there anything that would amount to that? He told her everything. He talked about his mother, his father, his sister. All Zoe had was a couple traumatic incidents, nothing that resembled a solid story. Did Teddy even want to hear about her family struggles? Would he think she was trying to compete? Because she wasn't. Teddy had it hard. She understood that.

"I'm not good at apologies." Teddy suddenly spoke, his voice as quiet as the murmuring of the cars passing over the bridge above them. Zoe looked at him and he was still sat with his head rested against the cement, his eyes closed and making him looked so relaxed. "I've developed this delusion that I don't have to apologize because the world should be apologizing to me. That's what the student councilor says, at least."

Zoe nodded. "I don't think you need to apologize."

Teddy snorted a self-loathing laugh. "Does that mean I can get away with calling you a spoiled bitch the other day?"

Zoe's eyebrows perked up in curiosity. Is that what he wanted to apologize for? Was that why he was bringing this up? Zoe never really thought she needed an apology for that. Teddy was upset and Zoe had caused it, which meant she deserved to be called something like that. Isn't that how that worked? She screwed up so she had to pay the price. Not to mention, she paid the price by losing all her friends and getting kicked off the cheer squad. It wasn't like anybody was going to apologize for that.

"I think so." Zoe admitted. "If you don't feel like apologizing for calling me a psycho masochist a couple minutes ago at your door.."

Teddy opened one eye to peak at Zoe. She gave him a snug smile and shrugged. Teddy scoffed, shook his head, and closed his eyes again. He couldn't possibly convince himself that Zoe was deserving of being called a bitch. He was angry when he said it, which he knew wasn't an excuse. The two most important people in Teddy's life were women. Carmen and his mother. He didn't want to disappoint them by taking his anger out on Zoe, who was just as pure hearted as they were.

Still, there were a couple things Teddy didn't feel the need to apologize for, even if he knew the student council would tell him to. He didn't want to beat around the bush with Zoe. She may be delicate but she needed to hear some of the things he said, no matter how brutal. Besides, how was he going to break her if he treated her as sweetly and delicately as everyone else did?

"I'm sorry, Zoe." Teddy muttered quietly. "I shouldn't have called you a spoiled bitch. But, I'm not apologizing for anything else. You're a psycho masochist with a hobby of manipulating everyone into liking you and doing whatever you want without question."

"Stop saying that. You make me sound so evil." Zoe huffed in annoyance.

"It's not evil. You don't do it maliciously, I know that." Teddy admitted. He stared at Zoe as she stared at the river. "You do it because you're desperate to connect with people and you don't know any other way to do that.."

Zoe's eyes snapped to Teddy. She was always so shocked and confused when he said these things so shamelessly. "How do you do that? How do you see right through me like that? Do you have some kind of superpower in reading people's deepest, darkness secrets or something?"

Teddy laughed, a sound Zoe really, really liked to hear. He never really laughed, but the amount of contentedness in the puff of air that escaped through his nose was so simple and relieving. All Teddy could do was shrug. "You're easy to read, I guess. It's not even like you try to hide it. You drop clues everywhere you go, just waiting for people to put the puzzle pieces together and figure it out."

Zoe defeatedly sighed. "So, this is the part where you tell me all about myself, I guess.."

"I'd love to tell you all about yourself, Zoe. It'd be a pleasure to list off everything about you that pisses me off." Teddy admitted with a bit of humorous venom in his words and Zoe simply rolled her eyes. "Or.. You can tell me all about yourself. I revealed my traumatic childhood to you. Now, it's your turn to give me something in exchange."

Zoe cringed as she hugged her knees to her chest. "I don't really have a story like you do. All of my traumatic experiences are small events, all of which, though, have contributed to my damaged emotional control."

"Alright.. Then, I'll take three traumatic experiences as payment." Teddy pushed with a lighthearted smirk.

Zoe nervously nodded. It took her a moment but she finally thought of one worth sharing.

"My parents didn't find themselves the money they have now until I was about seven years old. And based off of what my mother has been ranting to me ever since then, they did whatever they had to do. I remember being seven years old in the back of a black limo filled with men I didn't recognize. We were heading home from a big event to celebrate the launch of Sensation Auto Corporation.

The men in the car started poking at my parents because they didn't believe that they had what it took to make it to the top. They started arguing back and forth, the argument getting more and more heated. I was seconds away from bursting out in tears before a man suggested testing the size of their balls. I didn't know what they meant, obviously, but apparently, they had something in mind.

With me still in the limbo, everyone got out when we reached an old factory that had been abandoned. There was another car that had pulled up beside us and I watched two men open the trunk and pull out another man tied up with a bag over his head. They put him on his knees in front of my parents and handed them both of a gun each. My father pointed it at the mans head and my mother pointed hers at the mans heart."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me.." Teddy breathed in shock as he stared at Zoe. Her eyes lifted from the river to see the shocked expression on his face. "They did this with a kid in the car? Where did the guy even come from? How do you remember this?"

Zoe shrugged. "They always brought me along during stuff like this. They figured the public would take more kindly to them if they saw us as a loving family so I was always with them. The guy, I still don't know who he was. Overtime, I concluded that he was a higher up in their company, because the very next Monday, my father got promoted.

Stuff like this happened over and over again as my parents climbed the latter to the top of the company. They rule everything now. They have full control over Sensation Auto Corporation, and before, they were only employees of Advertisement & Sales. My parents always say they have done whatever it takes to make it to the top. I think that's because they know what happens to those that you have to get through to make it to the top.

They want to be on the top of the food chain so they don't meet the same fate as the people they've overtaken to get where they are." Zoe calmly explained.

Teddy gulped as he nodded. Zoe must have other things haunting her, besides her intense craving to be close to her parents. Maybe that's why she had that intense craving, because she knew what happened to the people her parents weren't close with. She didn't want to be left in the dust, or sacrificed, as her parents clawed at the path to success. He understood that much. And when Teddy guessed that her parents sabotaged her chance at defending him and Chuck, he must have been more right than he even imagined.

They didn't care about who got put down, as long as they got lifted higher and higher. Teddy just didn't imagine that Zoe's own parents would be forcing that fucked up principle on their daughter. Zoe lost all of her friends over this stupid fight incident and her parents obviously didn't care. They used this opportunity to paint their daughter as an innocent angel caught between a bunch of poor delinquents. No wonder Zoe was so fucked up. She was bound to with people like that controlling her life.

It wasn't even like Zoe had a choice. Her parents literally had people kidnap Zoe from her own school, in front of everybody. As all of that registered in Teddy's head, he was becoming more and more mind blown. It all made sense. Zoe wanted love and affection from her parents so she had no choice but to do as they said. They knew that and they used that to make her do whatever they said. They were tearing this girl apart from the inside out. And since she couldn't find love in her parents, two people who obviously didn't care about her, she channeled all of that energy into Teddy.

"Another moment I remember; I was ten years old and we were moving into a new home." Zoe started and Teddy cringed. He couldn't imagine how many of these stories she had up her sleeve. Did he even want to know anything else? "It was really big. Bigger than any house we had lived in before. We had a million movers helping us move boxes into the house and unpack everything in various rooms. I had already put all my things in my room so I went to the trucks outside to help the movers unload more stuff.

It was really, really fun. They would hand me smaller boxes or anything on wheels that I could push into the house. But then, while someone was pulling a mattress out of the truck, it got caught on something sharp and ripped wide open. Piles and piles of wrapped up drugs spilled on to the driveway. I didn't know what it was at the time, I just remember seeing a bunch of pills burst from the packages and spill everywhere.

Two of our guards, that stood at the entrance to the house, took one of the movers into the grass and started beating the guy. It was terrifying how bloody the guy was getting. All the other movers walked carefully and kept their eyes down so they didn't have to look at what was happening in the grass. I couldn't look away. I was in shock. I didn't actually see what the end result was, but he saw what my parents were hiding. There's no way he's alive right now."

"So, you just watched?" Teddy questioned with a firm frown. "You watched him get beat to death in your front yard?"

Zoe shook her head. "No. My parents had hired Kenneth as a personal assistant just before we moved. He was really nice and offered to make me something to eat in the kitchen so that I stopped watching and wasn't in the way anymore."

"You've mentioned Kenneth before.." The wheels turned slowly in Teddy's head as the worlds fell off his tongue. "Was that the guy that came to class and basically kidnapped you on Friday?"

"Yeah!" Zoe excitedly perked up. "He's really, really nice and really, really smart. He knows more about my parents and our family than anybody. He was upset on Friday but he's not mean like the other ones are."

Teddy silently nodded. He didn't know what to say. The girl beside him was all sorts of fucked up, which he had previously assumed, but he didn't know it was this severe. She was more fucked up than him, which was saying a lot for someone so narcissistic that he thought nobody had it as hard as him. Losing her mother, his sister, having a deadbeat, alcoholic father. That was nothing now. Zoe had basically watched her rich, mafia parents murder their way to the top and was now being used as a pawn in their sick game.

"Jesus.." Teddy took a long, deep breath. "I don't even want to hear another story, Zoe.."

"Wow.. bailing out at the two most tame stories I have on my list already?" Zoe awkwardly laughed, her fake smile dropping when she noticed the serious expression on Teddy's face.

That wasn't funny. She knew it wasn't, but she was trying to lighten the mood. Teddy only thought it wasn't funny because he believed her. There were worst stories and they were all the root of Zoe's mental breakdowns and dysfunctional impulses, Teddy knew that. It was nearly driving him crazy just knowing how bad it was. How was he suppose to be mean and crude around her when she had all of that going on inside her head? That wasn't fair!

Zoe nervously scratched the back of her neck in the suffocating silence. "So... Did you listen to the radio show too?"

Teddy pulled himself his thoughts, shoving all of Zoe's trauma to the back of his mind for later. "Unfortunately, I did."

"Did you hear me say it was my fault?"

"Yes."

"The moment I said that, Todd and Katy jumped in to keep throwing the blame on you guys. I really wanted to defend you, Teddy.. But when I looked at my mother.." Teddy finally stole a peek at Zoe as she stared at the river in front of her. "She rigged the radio show. There was no chance that I was going to make it out of there with everybody's names cleared. She didn't want that. I wasn't just competing with the internet, and you two, but also my mother. And I know that I will never win against my mother."

"Is that what you want?" Teddy seriously asked. "You want to win?"

Zoe could feel the tears pool in her eyes and Teddy could see them glistening in the moonlight, but they both ignored them. "No.." Her voice was shaky and broken. "I don't want to win. I don't want to compete. I just want her on my side for once. I want them to love me like parents are suppose to.."

Teddy couldn't help but stare at Zoe as more tears streamed silently down her face once more. He could feel her pain, not because he could personally relate, but because he knew what lengths Zoe went to to find people that loved her. She came all the way to Ohio to find people the liked her, and when he refused to, she still fought for it. That's why she was so broken all the time. She was always fighting for love and affection. Real love and affection.

Too bad Zoe refused to listen to him when Teddy claimed she would never find that in her friends here at Hudson. He could save her from so much struggling and fighting. She just wouldn't listen. Besides, the type of love she was craving was going to be impossible for her to fin. She wanted unconditional love. The kind you were born with from people in your family and your bestest friends.

And Teddy knew she was searching so hard, even with so many friends, because she hadn't found it. It all felt superficial to Zoe because she grew up in a superficial world. She was doomed from the very beginning but she wasn't giving up hope. That was even worse to Teddy than anything else. This stupid, naive girl was looking for something she knew she'd never find. Why would she even waste her time?

"Carmen flies in tomorrow morning." Teddy suddenly changed the subject as Zoe wiped away her tears on the sleeves of his sweater. He was getting himself riled up over all of this new information flooding into his headspace.

"Really? Already?" Despite her tears and broken heart, Zoe genuinely smiled at Teddy. She was excited for him.

Teddy nodded as he rested his hands on his knees and let them tangle and untangle in front of him. He stared at them like they were puzzle pieces, his eyebrows furrowed and expression serious. "Want to come to the airport with me?"

Zoe's eyes widened as she went still. She didn't know what to say. She obviously wanted to. She would be honored to. All she wanted was to be close with Teddy and meeting his sister the night after he shared his life story with her would be a dream. Forget everybody else at school, this is officially what Zoe wanted to be putting her time and effort into.

"You want me to come with and meet her?" Zoe asked in awe.

Teddy's expression pulled in even tighter but he refused to meet Zoe's intense staring. "I don't want you to do anything, Bozo. Come or don't. I'm only offering so you have something to do if you're not ready to face all the assholes at school tomorrow. Because god knows you're not going to stay at home all day, by yourself."

Zoe found herself smiling at that. Teddy always seemed to do this. Whenever he showed the slightest bit of interest, he lashed out at her to compensate for it. He was the one claiming that she was the psycho masochist, and even if that was true, what did that make him? Why was he so afraid to be close with people? Zoe wanted to rant and rave about it like Teddy did with her, but he actually had the answer to his questions. Zoe was still trying to figure him out while Teddy was five steps ahead of her.

"I want to go with you. I want to meet her." Zoe stated, making sure she made herself clear so Teddy didn't misunderstand in any way, shape, or form.

"Five o'clock. Don't be late or I'm leaving your ass behind." Teddy awkwardly muttered as he pushed himself up and rushed off to the big boulders.

Zoe smiled at his fleeting figure as Teddy climbed the boulders and slipped through the broken fences. He was trying to leave before he regretted inviting her, but even as he crashed into her, he wanted to slam his head against his wall. Zoe was just happy that she was invited. Teddy must trust her a little, right? She was going to meet his sister. Apparently, nobody had seen her in years. She was going to be the only one that got to see her after all this time? She felt honored and excited.

Tomorrow was going to be way better than she originally imagined.

{ Mannn. That was a looooooong chapter.... But don't worry because this book is FINALLY going to get a bit happier. I mean.. It's Teddy and Zoe.. This book can only get so happy. These two adorable little fucked up babies are doomed, no matter what...

Doesn't Zoe look cute in Teddy's sweatshirt though!? ☺️💙 }